Alexei Sayle Quotes

...I learned the lesson that, even after the revolution, cool, handsome and confident is always going to beat weird-looking and needy.

First off, I have to mention what is undoubtedly the greatest phenomenon of the modern era: All You Can Eat Buffets.

It seems easier to make a career out of comedy now than it was in the 1980s.

Even a blind dog can find a bone every so often.

I'm fascinated by comedy.

Israel is the Jimmy Saville of nation states,

I exist as an annexe of the BBC. I'm down the road a bit from the main building, in a little hut.

Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like 'Brothers in Arms' and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git.

There's a part of me that still hates everything, and my natural view default setting is still very cynical and dark

Everyone I used to work with is still alive and can afford expensive lawyers.

I did six series for the BBC and that was enough. I've been writing for ten years, which is more challenging artistically.

I like the south of Spain, notably for the Moorish influence and the weather.

The journalists have obviously failed to capture my innate magnetism, humour and charisma, and they all need to be fired from their newspapers right away.

The optimum frequency with which comedians should do a series is every year. I do one every three years. My audience is literally dying off.

You can't do comedy with a beard.

Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, may have had his charms, but he really couldn't be considered hip.

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift' ... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.

I'm distinct, really.

I feel sorry for many politicians ... we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we're not.

I'm an intellectual.

If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.

I don't think people were that interested in what I was doing for the most of the 1990s.

For me, the showbiz memoir is uninteresting - you want to tell people something they don't know about.

I don't think I'd ever get thin, but I don't see why I should necessarily think that I couldn't ... You can't live your life for your routines.

This is the band Radical Posture, and my name is Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad Glorious Five-Year Plan Sputnik Pravda Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski. Me Dad was a bit of a Communist, know what I mean?

I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn't work in the summer though. I don't have the right clothes.

I always thought communism was crap, really.

Pete couldn't believe how sanctimonious somebody could be just because they'd once had a soldering iron stuck up their arse.