Likability Quotes

Being authentic will get you where you need and want to go, and it will be your path to building the most meaningful and enriching connections with others. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

Allegedly warmth, cheeriness, friendliness and strength are distinct from one another and your likability is largely determined by how much of each you project. The definition of warmth is how easily you convey you have something in common with another person. ~ Jessica Francis Kane

Comedy and drama are different sides of the same coin. And the thing about comedy and drama is about likability. It's about character first. It's about story. And for me, it's about empathy, and I think the realer someone is, the further you can go either way with them. ~ Ricky Gervais

It is through the strength of what is genuine that meaningful connections build into relationships. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

To make meaningful connections in an authentic way, you have to project the best parts of your true self. In other words, before you expect others to like you, you have to like you--that is the law of self-image. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

Maybe that's the way I'm private - I respect the privacy of "my" characters? Anyway, we're getting close to the whole "relatability" and "likability" thing. ~ Ben Lerner

If you're naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don't like. ~ William Feather

Self-image is the basis for how you experience--and are experienced by--the outside world. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

Sharing what is real about you is the key to building real relationships with others ~ Michelle Lederman, 11 Laws Of Likability

Harnessing likability is about uncovering what is authentically likable - in you, in the other person, in your connection. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

In How Fiction Works, James Wood says,

A great deal of nonsense is written every day about characters in fiction - from the side of those who believe too much in character and from the side of those who believe too little. Those who believe too much have an iron set of prejudices about what characters are: we should get to "know" them; . . . they should "grow" and "develop"; and they should be nice. So they should be pretty much like us.
Wood is correct, in part, but the ongoing question of character likability leaves the impression that what we're looking for in fiction is an ideal world where people behave in ideal ways. The question suggests that characters should be reflections not of us, but of our better selves.
Wood also says, "There is nothing harder than the creation of fictional character." I can attest to this difficulty, though with perhaps less hyperbole. I have, indeed, found several other tasks harder over the years. Regardless, characters are hard to create because we need to develop people who are interesting enough to hold a reader's attention. We need to ensure that they are some measure of credible. We need to make them distinct from ourselves (and, in the best of all words, from those in our lives, unless of course there is a need to settle scores). Somehow they need to be well developed enough to carry a plot, or carry a narrative without a plot, or endure the tribulations we writers tend to throw at them with alacrity. It's no wonde ~ Roxane Gay

It is far easier to make a good first impression than to change a bad one. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

Bull had been around charisma before. The sense that some people had of moving through their lives in a cloud of likability or power. ~ James S.A. Corey

I could see (though not as clearly as I do now) that one of my biggest problems was me. Because I wanted everyone to like me and to approve of me, I tried to be nice to everyone all the time and this proved a remarkably efficient way of losing control over my life. ~ John Cleese

From the moment we were first dumped in Jamestown and had our teeth checked before getting sold off and later considered three-fifths of a human being, an abundance of 'likability' hasn't been something blacks have had to stockpile. Instead, it's been a centuries-long battle for respectability. ~ John Ridley

Repay kindnesses and generosity bestowed upon you by continuing the giving. Extend yourself freely to others to sustain the positive cycle of giving. ~ Michelle Lederman, 11 Laws Of Likability

What works for men does not always work for women, because success and likability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. That's what the research shows. As a man gets more successful, everyone is rooting for him. As a woman gets more successful, both men and women like her less. ~ Sheryl Sandberg

By approaching your interactions through the lens of likability, you can expect to be happier, more comfortable, and more successful in establishing meaningful relationships. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

Art has now done for Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow something they could never achieve in life: it has taken a shark-eyed multiple murderer and his deluded girlfriend and transformed them into sympathetic characters, imbuing them with a cuddly likability they did not possess, and a cultural significance they do not deserve. ~ Bryan Burrough

Curiosity creates connections. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

So no, excuse me, we will not play likability anymore. It's an endless runner - a game with no progress and no finish line - that women are expected to chase, that keeps us from doing the real work, accruing the real power. Chasing likability has been one of women's biggest setbacks, by design. I don't know that rejecting likability will get us anywhere, but I know that embracing it has gotten us nowhere. ~ Lindy West

Listening is a powerful building block: Continue improving your listening skills and your likability will naturally increase. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

Effective listening is the single most powerful thing you can do to build and maintain a climate of trust and collaboration. Strong listening skills are the foundation for all solid relationships. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

We all talk to ourselves, and when we keep telling ourselves something we eventually begin to believe it. ~ Michelle Lederman, 11 Laws Of Likability

When you frame your actions around what you fear and what you think you can't do, those are the results you'll achieve. ~ Michelle Lederman, 11 Laws Of Likability

But continuing to initiate conversations and be curious about people is fundamental to building valuable relationships, because curiosity creates connections - that is the law of curiosity. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

When I play a part, I never think about likability. ~ Rachel Weisz

'Friends' started because Rachel left her husband at the altar. This likability factor is just so stupid to me. It's the same thing as 'wish-fulfillment,' which is a big word you hear in a lot of Hollywood rooms. It basically means that people want to see other people living a life they can't lead, and I don't buy that. I think that's not true. ~ Adam Pally

The glass is either half empty or half full, and remember that whatever your perspective, it is entirely your choice. ~ Michelle Lederman, 11 Laws Of Likability

Well, I think likability is an overused word. I don't watch people 'cause I like them; I watch them because they're compelling. Sympathetic is a little different. Likable just thins you out. Working to make a character likable is what kills most TV shows. ~ Louis C.K.

If you want to make others feel good, start by feeling good yourself. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

Often we are not even aware of the energy we ourselves are giving off. Energy impacts our communication, and it can either work for us or against us. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

It's not what you say, it's how you say it. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

And really, wasn't this endless ruminating over my own likability in itself a thing only a woman would do? Did Bill - or Ted Cruz or Rand Paul - ever ponder their likability, or did they simply go after what they wanted? Did Bill ever stop to think about which of us was more qualified, did he question his own motives for entry into the race? The idea was laughable. ~ Curtis Sittenfeld

Don't," her knee narrowly missed connecting with his groin, "call me woman."
He smiled at her - his blood-stained teeth stark against his soot darkened face."Why?" She punched him in the jaw and he reeled, but stayed upright."Did the Chiona steal your gender as well as your likability? ~ March McCarron

That the question of likability even exists in literary conversations is odd. It implies that we are engaging in a courtship. When characters are unlikable, they don't meet our mutable, varying standards. Certainly we can find kinship in fiction, but literary merit shouldn't be dictated by whether we want to be friends or lovers with those about whom we read. ~ Roxane Gay

Our perceptions of others are our realities about them. This is the law of perception. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

Holding ourselves back may keep us safe, but it also means sacrificing how much we can grow and limiting what we can achieve. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

With the case of [Mike] Pence, giving a little aurora of likability to a candidate, a lead candidate who's a little lacking in that department. ~ David Brooks

Genuine curiosity can lead to more authentic, engaging conversations, which lay the foundation for sustained relationships. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

Someone will always pop up to say, "You would be more effective if you were nicer." "You would have a more receptive audience if you adjusted your tone." "You catch more flies with honey." Well, I don't want flies. The most likable woman in the world is crawling with fucking flies. ~ Lindy West

So much of what we hear today about courage is inflated and empty rhetoric that camouflages personal fears about one's likability, ratings, and ability to maintain a level of comfort and status. We need more people who are willing to demonstrate what it looks like to risk and endure failure, disappointment, and regret - people willing to feel their own hurt instead of working it out on other people, people willing to own their stories, live their values, and keep showing up. I feel so lucky to have spent the past couple of years working with some true badasses, from teachers and parents to CEOs, filmmakers, veterans, human-resource professionals, school counselors, and therapists. We'll explore what they have in common as we move through the book, but here's a teaser: They're curious about the emotional world and they face discomfort straight-on. ~ Brene Brown

Tapping into likability doesn't mean you have to be constantly perky and bright. It's about productive and authentic energy. ~ Michelle Lederman, 11 Laws Of Likability

Regardless of where you are in your career, listening is a skill that you must continue to work on. ~ Michelle Lederman, 11 Laws Of Likability

Likability is a soft skill that leads to hard results. ~ Mo Bunnell

We all have that bully that appears on our shoulders, whispering nasty self-thoughts into our ears. On the opposite shoulder sits the cheerleader, the one who believes in our worth and reminds us of our successes, strengths, and goals. ~ Michelle Lederman, 11 Laws Of Likability

Likability is a con, and we're falling for it[...] Is there such a thing as a likable woman? Can you think of one? And if she exists, could she be anything but the ultimate manifestation of everything we hate about the water we swim in, everything we're forced to be? Likability in a sexist, racist culture is not objective - it's compulsory femininity, the gender binary, invisible labor, whiteness, smallness, sweetness. It's letting them do it. If someone is universally likable, I don't trust that person. ~ Lindy West

Communicating what we appreciate by saying nice things has powerful results for ourselves and those around us. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

As women get more powerful, they get less likable. I see women holding themselves back because of this, but if we start talking about the success-likability penalty women face, then we can do something about it. ~ Sheryl Sandberg

Perception is reality, and self-image is self-perception. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

Building relationships is not about transactions - it's about connections. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

If you jump to conclusions about someone based on limited, proscribed interactions, you close the door to the possibility of deepening your connection. ~ Michelle Tillis Lederman

...it is easier to like difficult people when they are leaving, or already gone. ~ Rachel Kushner