Dazai Osamu Quotes

Having said that, I must now admit that I was still afraid of human beings, and before I could meet even the customers in the bar I had to fortify myself by gulping down a glass of liquor. The desire to see frightening things - that was what drew me every night to the bar where, like the child who squeezes his pet all the harder when he actually fears it a little, I proclaimed to the customers standing at the bar my drunken, bungling theories of art. ~ Osamu Dazai

[ ... ] Just because a person has a title doesn't make him an aristocrat. Some people are great aristocrats who have no other title than the one that nature has bestowed on them, and others like us, who have nothing but titles, are closer to being pariahs than aristocrats. ~ Osamu Dazai

I have always found the female of the human species many times more difficult to understand than the male. ~ Osamu Dazai

I was born in a village in the northeast, and it wasn't until I was quite big that I saw my first train. I climbed up and down the station bridge, quite unaware that its function was to permit people to cross from one track to another. I was convinced that the bridge had been provided to lend an exotic touch and to make the station premises a place of pleasant diversity, like some foreign playground. I remained under this delusion for quite a long time, and it was for me a very refined amusement indeed to climb up and down the bridge. I thought that it was one of the most elegant services provided by the railways. When later I discovered that the bridge was nothing more than a utilitarian device, I lost all interest in it.
Again, when as a child I saw photographs of subway trains in picture books, it never occurred to me that they had been invented out of practical necessity; I could only suppose that riding underground instead of on the surface must be a novel and delightful pastime.
I have been sickly ever since I was a child and have frequently been confined to bed. How often as I lay there I used to think what uninspired decorations sheets and pillow cases make. It wasn't until I was about twenty that I realized that they actually served a practical purpose, and this revelation of human dullness stirred dark depression in me. ~ Osamu Dazai

If I were to experience failure upon failure day after day - nothing but total embarrassment - then perhaps I'd develop some semblance of dignity as a result. But no, I would somehow illogically twist even such failures, gloss over them smoothly, so that it would seem like they had a perfectly good theory behind them. And I would have no qualms about putting on a desperate show to do so. ~ Osamu Dazai

The ones who die are always the gentle, sweet, and beautiful people. ~ Osamu Dazai

Long personal experience had taught me that when a woman suddenly bursts into hysterics, the way to restore her sprits is to give her something sweet. ~ Osamu Dazai

In terms of sealing your fate, there's no difference between turning right on a whim and turning right because you've come to some momentous resolve. Either way, it can't be undone. ~ Osamu Dazai

The smile of one flower permeates those who live next to death more than the problem of life and death. ~ Osamu Dazai

Each day I deceived myself, unlike you who could never deceive yourself. Anxiety was trapped in the depths of my heart, like a formation of black clouds I could not break free of. ~ Osamu Dazai

It's not as though we only care about the present. If you were to point to a faraway mountain and say, If you can make it there, it's a pretty good view, I'd see that there's not an ounce of untruth to what you tell us. But when you say, Well, bear with it just a little longer, if you can make it to the top of that mountain, you'll have done it, you are ignoring the fact that we are suffering from a terrible stomachache - right now. Surely one of you is mistaken to let us go on this way. You're the one who is to blame. ~ Osamu Dazai

Life itself is bound to be dreary if you carry a lot of baggage about. ~ Osamu Dazai

The source of our laughter is the small stone that tumbled into a corner of Pandora's box. ~ Osamu Dazai

I want to spend my time with people who don't look to be respected. But such good people won't want to spend their time with me. ~ Osamu Dazai

The thought of dying has never bothered me, but getting hurt, losing blood, becoming crippled and the like - no thanks. ~ Osamu Dazai

I hope I meet lots of people with lovely eyes. ~ Osamu Dazai

Disqualified as a human being. ~ Osamu Dazai

Communal living had proved quite impossible for me. It gave me chills just to hear such words as "the ardor of youth" or "youthful pride": I could not by any stretch of the imagination soak myself in "college spirit. ~ Osamu Dazai

Of late a gloomy rain has been falling almost incessantly. Whatever I do depresses me. ~ Osamu Dazai

I like roses best. But they bloom in all four seasons. I wonder if people who like roses best have to die four times over again. ~ Osamu Dazai

In our lives we know joy, anger, sorrow, and a hundred other emotions, but these emotions altogether occupy a bare one per cent of our time. The remaining ninety-nine per cent is just living in waiting. ~ Osamu Dazai

I soon came to understand that drink, tobacco and prostitutes were all great means if dissipating (even for a few moments) my dread for human beings. I came even to feel that if I had to sell every last possession to obtain these means of escape, it would be well worth it. ~ Osamu Dazai

They scolded us for not having any real hopes or real ambitions, but if we were to pursue our true ideals, would these people watch and guide us along the way? ~ Osamu Dazai

I had learned bit by bit the art of meeting people with a straight face - no, that's not true: I have never been able to meet anyone without an accompaniment of painful smiles, the buffoonery of defeat. What I had acquired was the technique of stammering somehow, almost in a daze, the necessary small talk. ~ Osamu Dazai

The weak fear happiness itself. ~ Osamu Dazai

There was something wrong about thse people. But perhaps, just as it is true of my love, they could not go on living except in the way they do. If it is true that man, once born into the world, must somehow live out his life, perhaps the appearance that people make in order to go through with it, even if it is as ugly as their appearance, should not be despised. To be alive. To be alive. An intolerably immense undertaking before which one can only gasp in apprehension. ~ Osamu Dazai

As for love ... no, having once written that word I can write nothing more. ~ Osamu Dazai

Disqualified as a human being. I had now ceased utterly to be a human being. ~ Osamu Dazai

American planes circled the clear blue sky of late fall. We stood in front of the Miyoshino-style building and looked up at them. "They're flying around in vain." "Yeah," Mabo said with a smile. ~ Osamu Dazai

Is this what all you refined gentlemen are like - wishing and pining and never acting? ~ Osamu Dazai

I think humanity is universal love and no one should be banished. The natural love of humanity is not to be forgotten under any circumstances. ~ Osamu Dazai

I slept quietly so that I would breathe without coughing, and felt a curious indifference. I even felt like I had been waiting for that night for a long time. The words "heart's desire" came to mind. ~ Osamu Dazai

Women don't know anything about happiness or unhappiness."
"Perhaps not. What about man?"
"Men only have unhappiness. They are always fighting fear. ~ Osamu Dazai

As long as I can make them laugh, it doesn't matter how, I'll be alright. If I succeed in that, the human beings probably won't mind it too much if I remain outside their lives. The one thing I must avoid is becoming offensive in their eyes: I shall be nothing, the wind, the sky. ~ Osamu Dazai

The incomprehensibility of society is the incomprehensibility of the individual. The ocean is not society; it is the individual. ~ Osamu Dazai

Still, I wait. I wait with my heart aflutter. People pass in front of me, pass by in hordes. It isn't that one; it isn't that one. I hold my shopping bag, shivering as I wait intently. Please don't forget me. Don't laugh at a 20-year old girl who goes to a rendezvous at the station day after day and then returns home without success; please remember me and keep me in your heart. The name of the little station, I purposely won't tell you. Even without my telling it to you, you'll catch sight of me someday. ~ Osamu Dazai

I yearned for everything long gone. ~ Osamu Dazai

I am choking in the suffocating foul air of the harbor. I want to hoist my sails in the open sea, even though a tempest may be blowing. Furled sails are always dirty. Those who would deride me are so many furled sails. They can do nothing. ~ Osamu Dazai

We all live a sheet of paper away from death, so we shouldn't be surprised by death. ~ Osamu Dazai

Why can't people get along without criticizing one another?" Urashima shakes
his head as he ponders this rudimentary question. "Never have the bush clover
blooming on the beach, nor the little crabs who skitter o'er the sand, nor the wild
geese resting their wings in yonder cove found fault with me. Would that human
beings too were thus! Each individual has his own way of living. Can we not learn
to respect one another's chosen way? One makes every effort to live in a dignified
and proper manner, without harming anyone else, yet people will carp and cavil
and try to tear one down. It's most vexing. ~ Osamu Dazai

Spread my usual smokescreen of farce. They say that love flies out the window when poverty comes in the door, but people generally get the sense backwards. It doesn't mean that when a man's money runs out he's shaken off by women. When he runs out of money, he naturally is in the dumps. He's no good for anything. The strength goes out of his laugh, he becomes strangely soured. Finally, in desperation, he shakes off the woman. ~ Osamu Dazai

I have always shook with fright before human beings. Unable as I was to feel the least particle of confidence in my ability to speak and act like a human being, I kept my solitary agonies locked in my breast. I kept my melancholy and my agitation hidden, careful lest any trace should be left exposed. I feigned an innocent optimism; I gradually perfected myself in the role of the farcical eccentric. ~ Osamu Dazai

The only reason you helped me out was because I'm a tortoise and my tormentors were children. To intervene between a tortoise and children isn't likely to bring about much in the way of repercussions. What did you give them - five coppers? That's big money to a child, but it's not much skin off your back, is it? I thought you'd put up a bit more than that. Miserly isn't the word. How do you think it makes me feel? Five coppers for my life. For you it was just a whim of the moment. 'A few coppers to rescue a tortoise - oh, hell, why not?' But suppose it wasn't children teasing a tortoise but, say, a group of rowdy fishermen tormenting some sickly beggar. Would you have offered so much as a single copper? Hardly. You would have scowled and hurried past, not wanting to get involved. ~ Osamu Dazai

Or maybe it's not about right and wrong at all but simply a humorous story suggesting that in our daily lives the people of this world abuse one another, punish one another, praise one another, and serve one another all on the basis of feelings - their likes and dislikes. ~ Osamu Dazai

The only thing people like you can see is other people's faults, and you're oblivious to the horror in your own hearts. You people terrify me. ~ Osamu Dazai

Item. A hand in plaster. This was the right hand of Venus. A hand like a dahlia blossom, a pure white hand, mounted on a stand. But if you looked at it carefully you could tell how this pure white, delicate hand, with whorl-less finger tips and unmarked palms, expressed, so pitifully that even the beholder was stabbed with pain, the shame intense enough to make Venus stop her breath; in the gesture was implicit the moment when Venus' full nakedness was seen by a man, when she twisted away her body, flushed all over with the prickling warmth of her shock, the whirlwind of her shame, and the tragedy of her nudity. Unfortunately, this was only a piece of bric-à-brac. The clerk valued it at fifty sen. ~ Osamu Dazai

What uneasiness lies in being loved. ~ Osamu Dazai

It isn't that I dislike artists, but I can't stand anyone who puts on those ponderous airs of a man of character. ~ Osamu Dazai

Whenever I was asked what I wanted my first impulse was to answer "Nothing." The thought went through my mind that it didn't make any difference, that nothing was going to make me happy. ~ Osamu Dazai

A true artist is an ugly man. ~ Osamu Dazai

Even the servants, when asked by my mother about the meeting, answered as if it were their spontaneous thought, that it had been really interesting. These were the self-same servants who had been bitterly complaining on the way home that political meetings are the most boring thing in the world ~ Osamu Dazai

When I liked something I tasted it hesitantly, furtively, as though it were extremely bitter. ~ Osamu Dazai

Society. I felt as though even I were beginning at last to acquire some vague notion of what it meant. It is a struggle between one individual to another, a then-and-there struggle, in which the immediate triumph is everything. 'Human beings never submit to human beings.' Even slaves practice their mean retaliations. Human beings cannot conceive of any means of survival except of a single then-and-there contest. They speak of duty to one's country and such like things, but the object of their effort is invariably the individual, and, even once the individual's needs have been met, again the individual comes in. The incomprehensibility of society is the incomprehensibility of the individual. The ocean is not society; it is individuals. ~ Osamu Dazai

To be a friend of the weak-that is the artist's point of departure as well as his ultimate goal. ~ Osamu Dazai

Then what's a synonym for woman?" "Entrails." "You're not very poetic, are you? Well, then, what's the antonym for entrails?" "Milk. ~ Osamu Dazai

He could only consider me as the living corpse of a would-be suicide, a person dead to shame, an idiot ghost. ~ Osamu Dazai

A mere smile can determine a woman's fate. It is frightening. Fascinatingly so. I have to be careful. ~ Osamu Dazai

[ ... ] I was afraid to board a streetcar because of the conductor; I was afraid to enter the Kabuki Theater for fear of the usherettes standing along the sides of the red-carpeted staircase at the main entrance; I was afraid to go into a restaurant because I was intimidated by the waiters furtively hovering behind me waiting for my plate to be emptied. ~ Osamu Dazai

Whenever anyone criticized me I felt certain that I had been living under the most dreadful misapprehension. I always accepted the attack in silence, though inwardly so terrified as almost to be out of my mind. ~ Osamu Dazai

I go about saying how pained and tormented, how lonely and sad I feel, but what do I really mean by that? If I were to speak the truth, I would die. ~ Osamu Dazai

Heaven forbid if beauty were to have substance. ~ Osamu Dazai

The courageous testimony of Dr. Faust that a maiden's smile is more precious than history, philosophy, education, religion, law, politics,economics, and all the other branches of learning. Learning is another name for vanity. It is the effort of human beings not to be human beings. ~ Osamu Dazai

Regardless of the cause, those in charge always seemed to be seeking power and glory for themselves. ~ Osamu Dazai

I wanted to maintain the illusion of peace and harmony even one day, even one moment. Longer. Dreading above all the thought of giving people such a frightful shock, I acted out the temporizing lie as if my life depended on it. I was forever doing that: backing myself further into a corner as I contemplated my own death. ~ Osamu Dazai

The world, after all, was still a place of bottomless horror. It was by no means a place of childlike simplicity where everything could be settled by a simple then-and-there decision. ~ Osamu Dazai

It is painful for the plant which is myself to live in the atmosphere and light of this world. Somewhere an element is lacking which would permit me to continue. ~ Osamu Dazai

He'll be back soon," she said, her face grave.
It suddenly occurred to me that what people call "honesty" might well refer to just such an expression. I wondered if what the word originally meant was not something lovable like that expression, rather than the stern virtue smelling of textbooks of morality. ~ Osamu Dazai

What, I wondered, did he mean by "society"? The plural of human beings? Where was the substance of this thing called "society"? I had spent my whole life thinkng that society must certainly be something powerful, harsh and severe, but to hear Horiki talk made the words "Don't you mean yourself?" come to the tip of my tongue. But I held the words back, reluctant to anger him.
'Society won't stand for it.'
'It's not society. You're the one who won't stand for it - right?'
'If you do such a thing society will make you suffer for it'
'It's not society. It's you, isn't it?'
'Before you know it, you'll be ostracized by society.'
'It's not society. You're going to do the ostracizing, aren't you?'
Words, words of every kind went flitting through my head. "Know thy particular fearsomeness, thy knavery, cunning and witchcraft!" What I said, however, as I wiped the perspiration from my face with a handkerchief was merely, "You've put me in a cold sweat!" I smiled.
From then on, however, I came to hold, almost as a philosophical conviction, the belief: What is society but an individual? ~ Osamu Dazai

Not long afterwards we were married. The joy I obtained as a result of this action was not necessarily great or savage, but the suffering which ensued was staggering - so far surpassing what I had imagined that even describing it as "horrendous" would not quite cover it. The "world," after all, was still a place of bottomless horror. It was by no means a place of childlike simplicity where everything could be settled by a single then-and-there decision. ~ Osamu Dazai

I have no desire for others to take it on themselves to analyze my thoughts. I am without thoughts. I have never, not even once, acted on the basis of any doctrine or philosophy.I am convinced that those people whom the world considers good and respects are all liars and fakes. I do not trust the world. ~ Osamu Dazai

I didn't know whether it was better to maintain a fierce distinction between yourself and your acquaintances in society in order to deal with and respond properly to things in a pleasant manner, or rather never to hide yourself, to remain true to yourself always, even if they say bad things about you ~ Osamu Dazai

I have sometimes thought that I have been burdened with a pack of ten misfortunes, any one of which if borne by my neighbor would be enough to make a murderer out of him. ~ Osamu Dazai

Falling asleep is such a strange feeling. It's like a carp or an eel is tugging on a fishing line, or something heavy like a lead weight is pulling on the line that I'm holding with my head, and as I doze off to sleep, the line slackens up a bit. When that happens, it startles me back to awareness. Then it pulls me again. I doze off to sleep. The line loosens a bit again. This goes on three or four times, and then, with the first really big tug, this time it lasts until morning. ~ Osamu Dazai

To begin with, I believe a fatal contradiction lies between women's right to vote and lipstick. Those guys usually aren't popular with the ladies. Without a doubt, this is a plan for revenge. ~ Osamu Dazai

I'm going somewhere where there aren't any women. ~ Osamu Dazai

I felt as though the vessel if my suffering had become empty, as if nothing could interest me now. I had lost even the ability to suffer. ~ Osamu Dazai

I also like to take my glasses off and look at people. The faces around me, all of them, seem kind and pretty and smiling. What's more, when my glasses are off, I don't ever think about arguing with anyone at all, nor do I feel the need to make snide remarks. All I do is just blankly stare in silence. ~ Osamu Dazai

Even if Mary gives birth to a child who is not her husband's, if she has a shining pride, they become a holy mother and child. ~ Osamu Dazai

I drew with extremely excessively depressed emotions, deliberately penning each line, only to earn money for drink. ~ Osamu Dazai

That was a really rare event. I don't think It's an exaggeration to say that It was the one and only time in my life that I refused something offered to me. My unhappiness was the happiness of a person who could not say no. I had been intimidated by the fear that if I declined something offered me, a yawning crevice would open between the other person's heart and myself which could never be mended through all eternity ~ Osamu Dazai

no thought in the world is worse than the realization that, "My life is a nuisance to others. I am useless. ~ Osamu Dazai

One lies to seek a bit of relief from a ponderous, suffocating reality, but the liar, like the drinker, gradually comes to need larger and larger doses. The lies become blacker and more complex, and they mesh and rub together until in the end they shine with the luster of truth. ~ Osamu Dazai

They called me by my first name and bought me drinks. ~ Osamu Dazai

Is it painful to be the person who waits? Or is it more painful to be the person who makes others wait? Either way, there's no need to wait anymore. That's what is most painful. - Osamu Dazai ~ Osamu Dazai

I had no choice but to pray for his death. Typically enough, the one thing that never occurred to me was to kill him. During the course of my life I have wished innumerable times that I might meet with a violent death, but I have never once desired to kill anybody. I thought that in killing a dreaded adversary I might actually be bringing him happiness. ~ Osamu Dazai

I wanted to write only what I wanted to write. ~ Osamu Dazai

I simply don't understand. I have not the remotest clue what the nature or extent of my neighbor's woes can be. Practical troubles, griefs that can be assuaged if only there is enough to eat - these may be the most intense of all burning hells, horrible enough to blast to smithereens my ten misfortunes, but that is precisely what I don't understand: if my neighbors manage to survive without killing themselves, without going mad, maintaining an interest in political parties, not yielding to despair, resolutely pursuing the fight for existence, can their griefs really be genuine? Am I wrong in thinking that these people have become such complete egoists and are so convinced of the normality of their way of life that they have never once doubted themselves? ~ Osamu Dazai

Disqualified as a human beings. I had now ceased utterly to be a human beings. ~ Osamu Dazai

Mother, recently I have discovered the one way in which human beings differ completely from other animals. Man has, I know, language, knowledge, principles, and social order, but don't all the other animals have them too, granted the difference of degree? Perhaps the animals even have religions. Man boasts of being the lord of all creation, but it would seem as if essentially he does not differ in the least from other animals. But, Mother, there was one way I thought of. Perhaps you won't understand. It's a faculty absolutely unique to man - having secrets. Can you see what I mean? ~ Osamu Dazai

Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness.
Everything passes.
That is the one and only thing that I have thought resembled a truth in the society of human beings where I have dwelled up to now as in a burning hell.
Everything passes. ~ Osamu Dazai

I was frightened even by God. I could not believe in His love, only in His punishment. Faith. That, I felt, was the act of facing the tribunal of justice with one's head bowed to receive the scourge of God. I could believe in hell, but it was impossible for me to believe in the existence of heaven. ~ Osamu Dazai

If you've slept soundly at night the morning is exhilarating, I suppose. ~ Osamu Dazai

Most people would take me for over forty. ~ Osamu Dazai

Kindness, for people like you, is nothing more than a minor diversion. A little titillation. You rescued me because I'm a tortoise. You put up money because they were children. But a sickly beggar and rowdy fishermen? That would be another story altogether. To have the smelly wind of real life blowing in your face would be more than you could bear. That's what we call being a snob, ~ Osamu Dazai

I hated school and never read a textbook. I only read entertaining books. ~ Osamu Dazai

Just to see all the books lining the shelves would lighten my mood as if by magic. Of course, I didn't go to bookstores just to read articles on anatomy. I went because any book gave me comfort and solace at the time. ~ Osamu Dazai

Devotion is nothing like mindlessly killing oneself with hopeless sentimentality. There is an immense difference. Devotion is to live a worthwhile life forever. Humanity is immortal only by relying on this pure devotion. However, there is no need to dress up for devotion. Today, I should offer everything as I am.
You cannot be an impostor. You're not allowed to postpone devotion. Every moment of life must have devotion ~ Osamu Dazai

I have tried insofar as possible to avoid getting involved in the sordid complications of human beings. I have been afraid of being sucked down into their bottomless whirlpool. ~ Osamu Dazai

It was not so much shame that I experienced as the feeling that the actual world was an unfamiliar organism utterly unlike the world of my imagination. I was assailed by a sensation of desolation more intense than anything I had previously known, as if I had been abandoned at dusk in an autumnal wasteland where no answering sound would ever come, however often I called. Is that, I wonder, what is meant by the pat phrase "disappointed love"? ~ Osamu Dazai

To break free from this vexatious and awful never-ending cycle, this flood of outrageous thoughts, and to long for nothing more than simply to sleep
how clean, how pure, the mere thought of it is exhilarating. ~ Osamu Dazai