Ryan North Quotes

You might think that people in the business of selling books would be against places where you can read books for free, but here is a secret: libraries are awesome, librarians are even *more* awesome, and both are among the greatest things civilization has given us. *No apologies; it's true.*

The secret to writing sound effects is having a room you can be alone in, trying to make the sounds yourself, and seeing what comes out. It's similar to if you're writing a character talking with their mouth full: the only way I know to transcribe that is to stuff my fist in my mouth and write down what sounds I make when I try to talk.

You can't just say what's going to happen ahead of time. That's not how physical law works. That's narrative. And when reality is twisted to fit narrative, that's not natural. That's someone making stories happen.

In fact, Saint Maxwell's received, and often accepted, applications from preschoolers slated to die criminal deaths. It was just a question of, well, the quality of the crime. You let in the cocaine overdoses; you kept out the crack overdoses.

We need to encourage our kids to express their feelings. We need to help them find their voice.

I'm totally applying assumed Creative Commons rights.

Progress! Progress through everybody dying and their kids eventually not caring who their parents hated!

Scientists need to invent a way to make DNA work like in cartoons.

Dude, trouble's just an adventure you haven't finished yet!" - Jake the Dog

Maybe the best things are those that take the most work, you know? Maybe how you get somewhere can be at least as important as where you're going.

Might as well ask the once-popular Magic 8-Ball something. It got "Outlook not so good" right. I don't know if anyone ever asked it about Internet Explorer.

This was a really amazing part of your adventure, Hamlet. You're sure that, should you ever one day write a book about this story or perhaps a stage production, you'd DEFINITELY include this scene. Why, you'd have to be literally crazy to write a story where you journey to England, get attacked by pirates - actual pirates! - but then just sum up that whole adventure in a single sentence. Hah! That'd be the worst. Who puts a pirate-attack scene in their story and doesn't show it to the audience? Hopefully nobody, that's who! Even from a purely structural viewpoint, you've got to give the audience something awesome to make up for all the introspection you've been doing; that just seems pretty obvious is all.

We're all already aware of boobies; it is the general state of most people in North America! THANKS, MEDIA AND THE MALE GAZE

Chicks, man, am I right? They crazy," you say.
"Yes, what IS the deal with over half the human population of the planet? They're definitely all 100% insane," Horatio replies sarcastically.

They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes.

As they say, 'It's all downhill from cupcakes.

But giving up's easy. You know what's hard? To believe in your own worth, to know you've got something special in you even if nobody else can see it. Even when you can't.

Algebraic to the limit!

Failure is just success rounded down.

I'm suddenly worried people will think that I believe their religion can be summed up on four sex-obsessed sentences.

you know: CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF HUGS IS THE ENTIRE REASON I EVER ENGAGE IN ANY NARRATIVE, FICTIONAL OR OTHERWISE??

It's hard to get motivated fixing a compile-time syntax error when you can buy a powder that turns a house into a monster.

If you find you are not understanding my explaination for a joke, hit F5 on your browser and the page will refresh and I will explain it again.

I speculate that the genesis of the chicken-joke lies in some situation such as the one illustrated above, but over time the original context of the joke was lost, which left the chicken sadly decontextualized.

It's sad, and you're sad, but as you reflect on the three wonderful years you shared you begin to realize that relationships can be a success even if they end in a breakup. They have to, right? Otherwise every relationship you've ever had and ever will have will be a failure unless one or both of you DIES, and that's baloney. That's straight up baloney sandwiches.