Robert Asprin Quotes

Deveels are some of the meanest characters you'd ever not want to tangle with. They're some of the most feared and respected characters in the dimensions."
"Are they warriors? Mercenaries?"
Aahz shook his head.
"Worse!" he answered. "They're merchants.

When old friends get together, everything else fades to insignificance.- War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death

Why, the man killed over two hundred demons with this sword. They say it is charmed such that whomever wields it cannot be killed by a demon." "How did he die?" "Knifed by an exotic dancer.

To function efficiently, any group of people or employees must have faith in their leader.- Capt. Bligh(ret.)

They never let you live it down. One little mistake!- Nero

I have also noted, over the course of our friendship, that his hearing is curiously erratic. He can hear a lizard-bird scratching itself half a mile away, but occasionally seems unable to hear the politest of requests no matter how loudly I shout them at him.

The Dispatcher had played with his phones, calling from one to the other. Then he put them all down and announced that he had them on "hold," a curious expression since it was the first time in half an hour he hadn't been holding one.

Writing that's not working for a living.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall take flack from both sides.- Unofficial UN Motto

My colleagues and I feel that independents like ElfQuest are nothing but sheep in wolves' clothing.- S. Lee

If the proper preparations have been made and the necessary precautions taken, any staged event is guaranteed success
Ethelred The Unready

Ever since I first visited New Orleans back in '89, I've been intrigued by the French Quarter. I always wanted to set something in the Quarter, whether it was historic or contemporary. Unfortunately, I was always tied up with previous commitments - earlier multiple contracts - and could not get a crack at it.

One of the worst ways of being aroused from sound sleep, is by the noise of a dragon and a unicorn playing tag.

It's interesting that instead of having to get tighter and more restricted for a collaboration, strangely enough, from the beginning, we've actually been more confident that we could handle this.

Please ta meetcha, kid. I'm Aahz."
"Oz?"
"No Relation."
"No relation to what?" I asked, but he was examining the room again.

Now that we've got the whole story," he said solemnly, "now you can panic.

New Orleans life is such a night life. The thing that comes up very often is that our day essentially doesn't start until midnight or 2 in the morning.

In times of crisis, it is of the utmost importance that one does not lose her head.
Marie Antoinette

Of all the various unpleasant ways to be aroused from a sound sleep, one of the worst is the noise of a dragon and a unicorn playing tag. Myth Conceptions by Robert Asprin

Are you going to shake my hand,or am I going to rip your heart out?

There's gotta be a way out of this dungeon.- G. Gygax

I am not a slow writer, I am not a fast writer ... I am a half-fast writer.

I've had a five- or six-year down-spell as a writer, and now that most of the other contracts are cleared or down to the last book, I have a chance to do what I want to do - specifically, something set in New Orleans.

I should of known he was married. I mean, nobody that young is THAT bald unless he's got a wife at home.

Well, kid," Aahz said, sweeping me with an appraising stare, "it looks like we're stuck with each other. The setup isn't ideal, but it's what we've got. Time to bite the bullet and play with the cards we're dealt. You do know what cards are, don't you?"
"Of course," I said, slightly wounded.
"Good."
"What's a bullet?