Paul Merson Quotes

I think Southampton will finish above teams that are well below them.

That shot moved like ... I was going to say a shop, but the shop's shut

Everton are literally a bag of Revells.

When Everton knock it long, they don't knock it long

Ian Ashby is very underrated and it's right he gets the accolades he gets

David Nugent tore up the Championship but he's gone to Portsmouth and he's a fish up a tree

I crawled back to bed, knowing I was done for. Hours later, the phone in our room started ringing. It was George. He was not happy.
"Room 312. Now!" he shouted.
Bouldy got up. I tried to pull myself together, splashing my face with water and hauling on my shorts and flip flops. It was a lovely day outside, the sun was scorching hot and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, but it might as well have been a pissing wet morning in St Albans for all I cared. I felt sick to the pit of my stomach as we made the Walk of Death to Room 312, which I knew was Paul and Gus's room.
When we walked in, I thought I'd arrived in downtown Baghdad. Water dripped from the ceiling. The board games were in pieces and all the plastic parts were scattered over the floor. The balcony window was wide open and I could see a bed upended by the pool outside.

Glenn could see I was bricking it and turned round to me as I sat there, gripping the armrests.
"You all right?" he said.
"I hate flying, Boss. I'm shitting myself."
"Don't worry, Merse. It's going to be OK. We *won't* crash."
I thought, "Thank God for that. Glenn's said we're going to be safe. Nothing's going to fuck with us now.

You don't want to bite your nose off to spite your face

If you keep walking past the barbers, eventually you'll get a haircut.

Every single player on the pitch is now in the Birmingham box, apart from two of them.

The big oxygen thing is out for Benni McCarthy ... he's got a lot of medical round him

To win the Champions League with Porto, you have to be tactically acute

There's only one person gets you sacked and that's the fans

Paul Lambert has learned Fabian Delph the game.

It's very difficult to play when your lung comes out of your air

United won't fall asleep against Liverpool. They'll win it in their sleep