John Corwin Quotes

Those are Klingon and Federation ships," I said. "You're a nerd, Shelton, but, holy crap, do I love this.

My God, you're hurt," Kyle said.
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't use his name around me right now. He's kicking my ass."
"God?"
"No, but his bitch is."
"How? It's impossible to hurt ghosts."
"Tell that to the smoking crater on my chest.

I probably looked like an infuriated chipmunk.

My eyelids felt like had tiny but chubby sleep faeries hanging on the lashes and pulling them closed

I tried to beat the crap out of someone's fist with my face

Can I finish my blasted story? We'll get to supernatural kindergarten later.

No wonder Edward was such a crazy driver," I muttered. "Who's Edward?" Elyssa asked. "You know, from Twilight.

My mind is clear! Yay! This is so cool. I need to tell Chris. Oh, I wonder how hard the next phase will be. I can't wait to try possessing another gorilla.

I wanted to find a nice quiet spot, go to sleep, and dream about kittens.

Great. I guess you're the dog whisperer, vampire edition.

I looked at her like I'd just seen a miniature Elvis break-dancing on her head.

The girl might be gorgeous under normal circumstances, but she was an ugly crier.

I´d use Google to find out, but seem to have misplaced my house along with my laptop

You let your mind rule your reality instead of you ruling your mind."
"Are you reading this stuff out of a Dr. Phil book?

Hell, yeah, Ryland. Man up and carpe girl.

What was it about women and crying that made me feel like crap? They must have guilt pheromones in their tears.

What the hell is wrong with me? And who is Nibbles?

Nothing could make me pull away meat-market love goddess. My sexy little filet mignon

Life had jerked the carpet out from underneath us and left a shattered mess

Besides, we have the one the God Hand wishes to see." "What about the God foot?" I said. "Or the God pinky finger?

Harb was a ticking time bomb. It was like watching a preacher with Tourette syndrome. You knew the "Shit! Balls!" was coming at some point during the sermon, probably while he was slapping you on the forehead during a faith healing.

Does this mean Harry Potter really exists?

That's all life is kiddo. When you've had enough contributions to your delinquency, then you're officially an adult.

Bryan helped me up. "How can you be so good one minute then clumsy the next?"
I shrugged. "I've never been very athletic. Not unless you count fencing."
"You made fences?

I might be short, chubby, and require a B-cup manzier, but I was still a man.

This is not good," I said. "These guys have a superiority complex bigger than Miss Compton's butt."
"And she had the biggest butt of them all," Kyle said.

This is worse than death. Now i have to spend eternity with my nagging wife and mother-in-law. what did i do to deserve this?

Despite the weight of the world on my shoulders, the temptation to stop and smell the supernatural roses tugged on my sleeves a time or two.

Better check your pants, Kyle. I think you had a nerdgasm.

Even though the place looked like Kansas, I didn´t need to tell Toto that my Facebook Places status wasnñt anywhere on the planet Earth, much less Kansas.