Jack Whitehall Quotes

My mother giving birth to me was just like Lady Sybil giving birth, except that there wasn't such a tragic ending.

I've definitely become smuttier. When I first started out, I had these aspirations: 'I'm not going to do jokes about anything crude because I'm bigger and better than that.' But then, I don't know ... It makes me laugh, so I started doing it.

I eat healthily, as it keeps my energy up.

I've never laughed a woman into bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.

I'm not actually posh; I'm really rough and from the wrong side of the tracks. I grew up in Putney, which is pretty rough.

I'd like to scale back the television. I'm constantly told that I'm over-exposed, and I don't want to end up like Carol Vorderman.

Once you start doing a lot, you don't ever want to stop working. It feels weird if you're not doing something.

If I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I think I can say something funny to defuse it. Sometimes you can't.

I never know what defines you as being posh. I went to a posh school, definitely.

If I could look like anyone, it would be Jamie Redknapp - even up close, he's amazing.

Oh, you wanna do a little bit of roleplay? Could you just play dead?

This sausage roll only contains 2% of your daily intake of calories ... if you lick it.

I hope people think of me as a bit older. I do have a beard. That makes me look very old.

Society is so divided in its perception of public school people. Most people who went to public school behave in the right way, but every now and then there will be someone who comes along and ruins it.

The Lion King? It's just a kid's film.

Just a kid's film?!? Yeah, just a kid's film with an IMDB rating of 8.5, 2 Academy Awards and 2 Golden Globes, that's been adapted into THE most successful West-end musical of all time, generating a gross profit of 8 million pounds and counting. "But maybe it's just a kid's film because it doesn't deal with any mature films" said fucking nobody ever. The Lion King is the greatest anthropomorphic assault upon the theme of mortality that Western culture has ever produced. It is so complex that your tiny, shriveled, and scrotum of a brain wouldn't dare to fathom it. So no, it is not just a kid's film, it is Shakespear with fur!

I vote for whoever will annoy my dad.

Part of doing stand-up is to get things off your chest. It's a bit like being in a psychiatrist's chair - but more enjoyable.

There's a real sense of camaraderie with sitcoms.

I think people respect honesty rather than hiding it.

He threw his back out, which-- fair enough, I'd imagine my back would be a bit sore if I'd spent the last twenty years of my life with my head up my own ass.

I have got a fantastic life and I just like to get on with it, and I am quite a private person.

When I'm on stage, I'm quite over the top - I'm quite flamboyant and camp.

I love stand-up, but the process of writing is a little more lonely. I want to keep doing both, though.

I'm very conscious of other people's opinions and of people not liking me.

Some comics have long routines to get them in the mood - I just prefer to sit down, write out the same jokes in a different order and then have a little prayer that I won't be met by silence.

I did a gig at a comedy club in Bournemouth where they served a buffet while the acts were on. There was the clang of people carving turkey during the set. If you put comedy and turkey side by side, turkey always wins.

My dad doesn't hug me enough!

I was the first person in the world to audition for 'The Hobbit'. The casting director told me that when I went in. That's a lot of pressure, isn't it? The first person in the world.