Harland Williams Quotes

I hate when you go into a nice restaurant - someplace where you're going to spend good money - and there are kids in there crying.

I love the theater of the mind because you can go anywhere. You can say anything, and you pull people in. [You] can be jumping out of a window or riding a cow or having bubble-wrap sex or spraying your body with Pam and sliding out of your chair.

I sort of write onstage. I'll throw an idea out there, like Home Depot, and just start talking about it.

I grew up on Don Knotts and Jerry Lewis and all the guys from Second City.

The thing is, you never know with any movie how it's going to turn out. It's always a mystery - you'll do pages and pages of scenes that will never make it onto the screen.

I was walking around bored one day, and I started filming stuff with my cellphone. There are all these shows where people are trying to do these outrageous stunts, and I thought it would be funny to do all these stunts that aren't outrageous but then act like they are.

I'd like to explore the more abstract side of people's minds, as opposed to the usual sitcom stuff. I don't want to do the typical sitcom-type humor. I'd want to do stuff like go bowling with pineapples.

I just tried to create a life for myself that's full of fun and fantasy and things that equal laughter. My life's been cartoons and comedy and acting, and it's just been a fun life, man.

Pumpkins are the only living organisms with triangle eyes.

I'm an American citizen now, but I will always have Canadian pride.

I don't go on tour tours - I just go randomly to cities to do shows if I have an opening in my schedule.

I try to take normal things - whether it's a serious subject or something as obscure as a piece of toast - and put a very weird twist on them.

If you were to come out and hang out with me, just having fun at a nightclub or a party, that's kind of the version of Harland you'd get - silly, kind of always saying wacky things.

In 'There's Something About Mary' and 'Dumb & Dumber,' I ended up improvising quite a bit of my scenes, and later I didn't even remember what I'd said because I just winged it. When I went and saw the movie, I was as stunned as everyone else was.

Executives and studios really like to have control over their product. They panic or they're not secure enough to trust in the powers of really amazing improv people.

The thing I love about sketch is sometimes it leads you as opposed to you leading it.

It was such a pleasure to work with Eugene Levy. What a treat. That's a guy I grew up watching as a kid. Guys like that, they were hilarious and didn't have to be super vile or X-rated.

I'd done a ton of movies here in Hollywood, and I realized that every movie I'd done was somebody's else's work and someone else's vision.

Without sounding negative, I'm not a huge fan of a lot of stand-up. I'm more interested in an absurd kind of theater.

Animation wasn't my love, but drawing was. I loved drawing, and when it came time to graduate from high school, I looked around and it was like, "Wow, I don't really want to study math. I don't really want to study science. I don't really want to study literature. Is there a place where I can go and draw cartoons?"

I get a lot of people telling me that I'd make a good 'wacky neighbor.' I wouldn't mind that, if it was a starting-off point.

I love seafood. Whenever I'm in Las Vegas, I love going to the Bellagio buffet because they have these great king crab legs.

The problem with binge-watching on Netflix is that you lose three days of your life.