Bum Phillips Quotes

I never scrimmage Oilers against Oilers ... What for? Houston isn't on our schedule.

When it's first and a mile, I won't give it to him.

I don't mind people thinking I'm stupid, but I don't want to give them any proof.

I always thought I could coach. I just thought people were poor judges of good coaches.

Winning is only half of it. Having fun is the other half.

Two kinds of ballplayers aren't worth a darn: One that never does what he's told, and one who does nothin' except what he's told.

I know why we lost the Civil War. We must have had the same officials.

Yeah, that test says he's dumb as a fence post, but when he hits he looks like Einstein to me.

He may not be in a class all by himself, but it don't take long to call the roll.

You don't win by making sensational plays; you win by not making mistakes.

The harder we played, the behinder we got.

Yep. And I noticed how slowly he went down each time, too.

The film looks suspiciously like the game itself!

If I drop dead tomorrow, at least I'll know I died in good health.

The trouble with most coaches is that they start with the assumption that everybody is a turd. And that ain't right.

I done drew the line. Just like the Alamo. You're either on one side of the line or the other. I don't want to ever leave Texas again.

An expert is an ordinary fella away from home.

Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.

The only discipline that lasts is self-discipline.

Hear about the Californian terrorist that tried to blow up a bus? Burned his lips on the exhaust pipe. He can take his'n and beat your'n, then he can take your'n and beat his'n.

I don't need the news. If they have a war, I figure someone will tell me.

You fail all the time, but you aren't a failure until you start blaming someone else.

Dallas Cowboys may be America's team, but the Houston Oilers are Texas' team.

That boy could throw a ball through a car wash and not get it wet. (on Warren Moon)