Unicycle Quotes

I want to write a story about an asexual unicycle who refuses to let a unicorn ride it. ~ Jarod Kintz

Raining. Oh, brother, a scratch on the fender. Damn rabbi on his unicycle.
Wait a minute, where are my car keys? Could have sworn I left them in this pocket. No, just some loose change and ticket stubs from the all-black version of Elaine Stritch' s one-woman show.
Did I check my desk? Better go back inside. What's in the top drawer here? Hmm. Envelopes, my paper clips, a loaded revolver in case the tenant in 2A begins yodelling again. ~ Woody Allen

The students adore your father,' a perfumed woman said to me. 'Aren't you lucky to live with such a charming man!'
'He's even more charming at home,' Mom said. 'Isn't he, Bea? He rides a unicycle through the house -'
'- even up and down the stairs,' I added.
'He juggles eggs as he makes breakfast every morning -'
'- which he serves to us in bed of course,' I said.
'- and pulls fragrant bouquets out of his ass,' Mom finished.
'He's just a joy. ~ Natalie Standiford

When I was in the second grade, I used to think love was the feeling a man gets while riding a motorcycle and having a woman embrace him tightly from behind. Maybe I'm cynical now, but I'm starting to think love is a unicycle with a flat tire. ~ Jarod Kintz

If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV. ~ Matt Groening

A Cyclops on a unicycle juggling three giant eyeballs couldn't compare to the balanced vision my writing presents. In fact, noted linguist and translation expert Dora J. Arod had these flattering words to say about my writing: "I wouldn't read Jarod's writing - not even if he paid me to read it. And he does pay me to read his writing, but that doesn't mean I do." Of course the quote continued on, but that was the only part that was praising. ~ Jarod Kintz

Marriage is a bike, not a unicycle ~ Shon Hyneman

Everyone stops for a giant on a unicycle. ~ Kimberly Willis Holt

I told her a bit about unicycles. "The unicycle is the ultimate symbol of autonomy - with the adversity of only having one wheel, there is a struggle to move forward. When you grow more comfortable with your knowledge of the mechanics of the bike and the lay of the land, you learn to manoeuvre gracefully on any terrain life can throw at you. It's the same as the test of gaining your own autonomy. ~ Michael Whone

I let the feeling wash over me, and then I dried off with a fur coat and went for a walk on my unicycle. ~ Jarod Kintz

Squirting isn't easy, it has to be said. Then, neither is riding a unicycle. Just as some people sweat more than others, or eat more than others, some girls erupt in surging geysers of vaginal fluids with greater facility and in more generous quantities than others. ~ Chloe Thurlow

I do own a unicycle, which I use for workout purposes as opposed to doing tricks. ~ Jay Duplass

Instead of a motorcycle gang, I'm thinking of starting up a unicycle gang. We'll be hell on wheel. (My first recruit will be a woman named Helen Wiel.) ~ Jarod Kintz

Murray sounds like a blindfolded man riding a unicycle on the rim of the pit of doom, the men actually facing the danger are all so taciturn that you might as well try interviewing the cars themselves. ~ Clive James

A person riding a unicycle on a tightrope doesn't worry about being likeable; they're doing something amazing that very few people can do. ~ Ted Alexandro

I wonder if Harley-Davidson makes a unicycle ~ Michael Hedges

But Jakob had the gift of confession, could talk about how he wanted to touch her and be with her, with all the daring and athletic skill he brought to riding a unicycle or walking on a tightrope. He was small and compact and muscular, and also intellectually muscular, mentally something of an acrobat. Sometimes she felt that those intellectual acrobatics were a bit tiring; at those times she felt less as if they were feeling everything together, more as if she were simply his audience, someone to applaud his latest leap through the burning hoop of existentialism and his backflip onto the trampoline of nonconformity. But ~ Joe Hill

Love is a winding mountainous road. Do you have an extra unicycle and handlebar mustache I can borrow? ~ Jarod Kintz

Owned a unicycle with one pedal and a missing seat. It was stolen by a one-legged man, with no butt, and an incredible sense of balance. ~ David Hammons

In 1948, while working for Bell Telephone Laboratories, he published a paper in the Bell System Technical Journal entitled "A Mathematical Theory of Communication" that not only introduced the word bit in print but established a field of study today known as information theory. Information theory is concerned with transmitting digital information in the presence of noise (which usually prevents all the information from getting through) and how to compensate for that. In 1949, he wrote the first article about programming a computer to play chess, and in 1952 he designed a mechanical mouse controlled by relays that could learn its way around a maze. Shannon was also well known at Bell Labs for riding a unicycle and juggling simultaneously. ~ Charles Petzold

I love motor learning because it's very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know. ~ Demetri Martin

Beware the dark stranger! He rides a unicycle! ~ Stephen King