Rosamund Hodge Quotes

Down and deeper, lost into silence,

Beneath the light, beyond the sun -

Alone, O my beloved, where have you gone? ~ Rosamund Hodge

It felt as if I had lived all my life inside a flat painting and only now had I stepped into the real world. ~ Rosamund Hodge

That's a cold-blooded way to view the world," said Runajo.

"And the way of the Sisters isn't?"

"Blood is hot when you spill it," said Runajo, and Juliet laughed suddenly, her head tilting back. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Duty is bitter to taste but sweet to drink ~ Rosamund Hodge

Study the sky, but do not love it. It is our prison and the symbol of our capture. ~ Rosamund Hodge

He knew what she was and he was not letting go. ~ Rosamund Hodge

So you know what's wrong but you don't know what's right. What use is that? Well, it narrows down the options anyway. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Perhaps for him there's a way to love that's sane and happy, that isn't cruel. ~ Rosamund Hodge

If you have felt that way," said Juliet, "how can you despise her?"

"I still don't understand why you have suddenly decided that we don't all deserve death and suffering," said Runajo. "How recently did you tell me that we lived in a charnel house?"

Through the bond, she felt something like a flinch from Juliet. Then there was silence, and the sense of a wall between them.

After several moments, Juliet said quietly, "I do not - perhaps - wish to see you dead."

"That's boring and inconstant," said Runajo. "If we deserve death, then wish us dead. Don't indulge in half measures and wish us alive to keep on killing. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Whatever creature you turn into, whatever form you take, I won't let go of you. ~ Rosamund Hodge

He was a fool for trusting me. i was a fool for caring if he got hurt ~ Rosamund Hodge

Love is madness," I say. "Doesn't everyone agree that you'd do anything, endure anything, to be with the ones you love? So either you're willing to let them use you with any sort of cruelty, so long as they keep you - which makes you a fool - or you're willing to commit any cruelty, so long as you get to keep them - which makes you a monster. Either way, it's madness. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I'm here!" I shouted. "Your bride! Congratulations on your marriage! ~ Rosamund Hodge

The same wolfish greed beats in your heart: to have what you will, and kill for it. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I remembered Ignifex's smirk and his confident words: I can wait all I want and still have you.
And I thought, Here is one thing he isn't getting. Standing on my toes, I kissed Shade on the lips.
It was just a bump of my face against his. Despite Aunt Telomache's lecture, I had no idea how long to prolong a kiss, and his lips startled me, foreign and cool as glass. But then he caught me under the chin and gently kissed my mouth open. Though his lips were still cool, his breath was warm; as he kissed me. I breathed in time to him, until I felt like my body was only a breath of air mixing with his. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I hope you aren't planning to order me back to bed."
"No, you have far too much crockery at your disposal. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I didn't expect to see you again so soon."

"And now you've assigned me a new job." I wrinkle my forehead. "'Our friends in the library'?"

He laughs. "The Resurgandi, of course. Everyone's got a silly nickname for them, and that's my father's."

"That footman can't have believed it," I say. "He's gossiping with the other servants right now."

"Oh, but I think he will believe it. There's talk of inducting me, since I did so well at university, and you know how they cloak all their goings-on in secretive mummery. Oaths and hand signs and the like. Keeps them occupied, I suppose. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I knew you lived," her mother said after a moment. "Any daughter of mine would be ruthless enough. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I am going home. You and your lady can stay here and rot. Or have a tea party. I really don't care. ~ Rosamund Hodge

For a while they sat in silence together. Then Juliet said quietly, "Romeo would love this place."

Runajo thought of Romeo: sweet, enthusiastic, not terribly bright. (Dead.)

"Why?" she asked. "There aren't any pretty things for him to babble over."

Juliet gave her a disgruntled look. "Words," she said. "He loved words. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I know what it is like to live every day and every hour by the fruits of someone else's wretched bargain. To see people suffer and know that they suffer because I am loved.
I would not do that to the ones I love. Not for anything in the whole wide world. ~ Rosamund Hodge

He's kissing me and though this is the first time, it feels like recovering a long-forgotten memory. My body seems to say, "Yes, this," and then I'm kissing him back as if I were born to be in his arms. I never realized how tightly guilt and fear had been wound about me until this moment, when they unwind into the air and fly away, leaving me with nothing but this guileless delight. ~ Rosamund Hodge

There were three of them, all with rapiers, and she had only a dagger. It would have been a wretchedly uneven fight, if she were human.
It was still a wretchedly uneven fight; it was just uneven in her favor. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I tried. As the darkness closed over me, I fought to remember the name of my husband.
I fought to remember the name of someone I had loved.
I fought to remember
What?
I was alone, and I had no hands to clench around my memories. I had no memories, no name, only the knowlegde (deeper and colder than any darkness) that I had lost what I loved more than life.
And then I forgot I had lost it.
Time unwound. Prices were unpaid.
The world changed. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I can't love him. I don't. This feeling is not the selfish, grasping need that I've seen tear apart my family, writhing through heir hearts like worms through rotten apples. ~ Rosamund Hodge

But they were worth worrying over. Paris didn't know what sort of irresponsible butterfly soul Romeo might have, that he could just forget his family didn't want him, but Paris wasn't - couldn't - did not have it in him to ignore and despise the family that birthed him.

"I could write a poem for you," said Romeo. "To make it clear."

"That wouldn't help," Paris said stiffly, wondering how this conversation had gotten out of control.

"A poem of comfort."

"No." Paris desperately wished that he had gotten stuck in this situation with somebody who was . . . anyone but Romeo. ~ Rosamund Hodge

A friend of yours?" Justiran's voice was detached and clipped.

"No," said Romeo. "But I've seen his heart. He's a good person."

"Do you know he put a compulsion on you?"

He forced me to, thought Paris, but he couldn't get the words out.

"Yes," said Romeo, "but . . ." His voice grew soft and wondering. "He loved Juliet. I'm sure of it."

Romeo was an idiot. Romeo thought nothing mattered besides who had what kind of pretty feelings about Juliet, and he was going to get them both killed by a necromancer. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Have you seen lamplight shine through dusty air, setting the dust motes on fire?" He waved a hand. "Imagine that, spread across the night sky - but ten thousand motes and ten thousand times brighter, glittering like the eyes of all the gods. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I knew it was insane to be happy, to feel this desperate exultation at his words. But I felt like I had been waiting all my life to hear them. I had been waiting, all my life, for someone undeceived to love me. And now he did, and it felt like walking into the dazzling sunlight of the Heart of Earth. Except that the sunlight was false, and his love was real. ~ Rosamund Hodge

It's enough," said Xu. "I'll call in all my favors."

"I'll call in all my favors," said Vai.

"Tell your favors to stay away from my favors," said Xu, "or there may be a few more arrests than you want from the evening."

"Don't worry," said Vai. "My people can handle themselves. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Just because things were fair didn't make them easy. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I love you," he said. "I love you more than any other creature, because you are cruel, and kind, and alive. Nyx Triskelion, will you be my wife? ~ Rosamund Hodge

If we all got what we deserved we'd all be dead. And yet somehow God refrains from smiting us. Whatever you ought to have done then, dying won't undo it now. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Do you know the history of Viyara?" she asked.

"Blood, blood, blood, and more blood," said Juliet promptly. "With a little evisceration."

Runajo snorted. "Do you know about the Ancients?"

"They were very much the same, weren't they?" said Juliet. "As far as blood goes. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Tonight you need to learn about your duties."
I know my duty, I wanted to say, but followed her silently. I had borne Aunt Telomache's preaching for years; it couldn't get any worse now.
"Your wifely duties," she added, opening the door to my room, and I realized that it could get infinitely worse. ~ Rosamund Hodge

For your penance," the Bishop said finally, "say three rosaries, one for each year of your sinful life, and offer them for the people you have harmed."

"That is not remotely enough," she snapped.

"Do you need also to confess doubts about the power of God to forgive sins?"

"Yes," she admitted after a few moments.

"In that case, for your penance, say only one rosary. ~ Rosamund Hodge

But I can't . . . I can't leave anyone to the darkness. ~ Rosamund Hodge

His hands tightened around mine. "I love you," he said. "I love you more than any other creature, because you are cruel, and kind, and alive. Nyx Triskelion, will you be my wife?"
I knew it was insane to be happy, to feel this desperate exultation at his words. But I felt like I had been waiting all my life to hear them. I had been waiting, all my life, for someone undeceived to love me. And now he did, and it felt like walking into the dazzling sunlight of the Heart of Earth.
Except that the sunlight was false, and his love was real.
It was real.
Very deliberately, I pulled my hands out of his. "You're a demon," I said, staring at the ground.
"Most likely."
"I know what you've done."
"The exciting parts, anyway."
"And I still don't know your name." My hands trembled as I undid my belt, then started to unclasp the brooches. It seemed forever since that first day when I had ripped my bodice open so
easily. "But I know you're my husband."
The dress slid down to land on the ground about my feet. Ignifex touched my cheek very gently, as if I was a bird that might be startled into flight. Finally I met his eyes.
"And," I said. "I suppose I do love you."
Then he pulled me into his arms. ~ Rosamund Hodge

He's a monster," I said. "Maybe I'm a monster to pity him. But I can't leave him. ~ Rosamund Hodge

If one of us had to die, it ought to be the one with poison in her heart. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I'm your husband. I can wait as long as I please and still have all of you. ~ Rosamund Hodge

If you desired someone, if he comforted you, if you thought he might leech the poison out of your heart, was that love? Or only desperation? ~ Rosamund Hodge

Though mountains melt and oceans burn,
The gifts of love shall still return. ~ Rosamund Hodge

«Speaking the truth is like gulping a mouthful of brandy: it burns on my tongue, but a moment after my body feels warmer, looser, freer.» ~ Rosamund Hodge

What they want, of course, isn't what you can give them. What you're selling is the hope you can. ~ Rosamund Hodge

There are a lot of things I want," I say quietly and deliberately. "But I think I will keep what I have. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Arms around me in the dark. Lips against mine in the sunlight. Do you know why I love you?
He knew me. And loved me. And he had never asked me for anything. Even Shade wanted me to
die for him. Maybe I shouldn't forgive a monster just because he loved me that way - but
But loving me that way made him a monster. My doom was the price of saving Arcadia, and only
a monster would care more about me than saving thousands upon thousands of innocents. Shade was
the last prince; of course if he could save only one, he would choose Arcadia. I would do the same. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I didn't love you," he says. "At least, I didn't know it. I thought you were - lovely, and honest, and the only wife I could possibly respect. But you were right, I didn't love you. I just thought you were an escape. And then I lost you. These past four days, when I thought you gone forever? Every book I read, I wondered what you'd think of it. Every idea I had, I wanted to ask your opinion. Every breath I took, I listened for your breathing beside me. Then I knew what you meant to me, and what you could have been to me. And then I fell in love with you. ~ Rosamund Hodge

The fire roared down upon us. It curled through our hair, then wrapped around our wrists and faces, trying to drag us apart. It seared across my skin, hotter than the Heart of Fire, and yet more painful was how it seared through my mind. The fire burned away my memories, taking back his name and mine, both of my pasts and all of my hopes, the sky and the sparrow and the world itself. I clung to somebody I did not know, could not imagine knowing, but I still knew beyond all doubt that he was mine.
We fell until we had been falling forever and always, and always would continue falling, because nothing existed outside this chaos of fire and shadow.
But I held on to him.
And he held on to me. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Someone else should be avenging her. Somebody who wasn't so stupid. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Do you think he would dare half as much for your love as I have?"
"No," she said. "He never could. That's why I love him."
"You were desperate for me."
"Desperate. Not happy." For the first time in all the years she had known him, she truly pitied him. "You can never, ever make me happy. My heart will never rest in you. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Paris?" she said hazily, and that was when Paris whirled to face the wall again, because she was barely clothed, and now that she wasn't on the verge of dying, that was a lot more embarrassing. And improper. And kind of attractive, which he was really trying not to think about right now. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I wiggled, and the key slid down to rest over my stomach. I was fairly sure he wouldn't look that far down. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Ignifex knew me. And loved me And he had never asked me for anything. Even Shade wanted me to die for him. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Ou always have to choose between the path of needles and the path of pins. When a dress is torn, you know, you can just pin it up, or you can take the time to sew it together. That's what it means. The quick and easy way or the painful way that works. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Sometimes abiding is more important than doing. ~ Rosamund Hodge

And that was how I ended up with the Gentle Lord in my bed, his head resting in my lap. He looked even younger when he slept - and since his eyes were closed, he looked human. I stroked his hair lightly; it was soft and silky as the fur of our old cat Penelope, and I wondered if he ever purred. ~ Rosamund Hodge

But that's what makes it so exciting. Will she kiss me or will she kill me - I think every man secretly wants to play that game ~ Rosamund Hodge

I don't love him. But I take a treacherous delight in him. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I'm the girl who never gets angry and never wants anything, and that's why my family is still alive. ~ Rosamund Hodge

She looked fragile and beautiful and terribly strong. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Sounds impossible. I like it. Except it is pretty impossible. You don't happen to remember anything else extremely useful that you've omitted to mention until now?"

"Er," said Paris.

"That was actually a joke," said Vai.

"I'm not good at jokes," said Paris. ~ Rosamund Hodge

And perhaps that was where the trouble began. Arcadia was greatly blessed, and sooner or later, every blessing has a price. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I've never struck that kind of bargain. Though it's nice to know you're jealous."
"How is Shade a coward?" I asked.
"Now I'm jealous."
"Don't worry, you're still the only one I want to kill. Why do you call him a fool and a coward if he's never been anything but your obedient shadow?"
"He's plenty disobedient. Do you think I tell him to go around kissing my wives? ~ Rosamund Hodge

Though changed I rise again the same ~ Rosamund Hodge

How did you make Shade into your shadow?" I asked. "Do you remember?"
The question broke the mood; in a moment Ignifex was back on his feet, all grace and half smiles and narrowed eyes.
"I didn't make him. I've always had a shadow, like everyone else. And I hate him because he's a fool and a coward and he tries to steal my wives."
Those last words were so unexpected that I laughed. Then Ignifex raised an eyebrow and I realized that he was serious, at least as much as he ever was. ~ Rosamund Hodge

If I'm damned, what's the point of pretending that I'm not? ~ Rosamund Hodge

She had never, in her whole life, been satisfied with peace. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Well, I'm already hoping there could be a dinner where you don't try to stab me with your fork," he said.
"You might need to make your peace with disappointment. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I'd rather worship bloody bones than the murderer who makes them. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Then he kissed her again. And kissed her and kissed her, until her heartbeat was a song and her veins pulsed with honey and fire, and his arms were around her and he was not letting go. He new what she was and he was not letting go.
She had never understood, until now, what it would be like to kiss somebody who was not trying to use or master her. Who cleanly and simply /delighted/ in her. ~ Rosamund Hodge

And you would know so much about women, locked up in your castle."
"Locked up with eight wives. And sometimes I make house calls for my bargainers. There's many a lovely woman desperate enough to bargain with me."
This idea had never occurred to me before. "You touch another woman and I'll cut your hands off," I snapped.
He looked delighted. "I thought you were afraid of hurting me. ~ Rosamund Hodge

The Kindly Ones would say it didn't matter. And maybe they were right. We still could have snatched happiness from our tragedy if we had made the right choices, the right wishes. If we had been kinder, braver, purer. If only we had been anything but what we were. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I have an idea for that, actually. You two can be the guests, and bring me along as your sacrifice. That way I'll be in a position to help free the other sacrifices when we make our escape."

Paris had thought he was used to the horrifying idiocy that came out of Romeo's mouth, but apparently he was still able to be shocked.

"No," he said, "that is absolutely - "

Then he realized that Vai was looking at Romeo with a terrifying smile.

"I think I can work with that," said Vai. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I have another letter for you," I say, pulling the slightly creased paper out of my pocket.

"I read the other one last night," he says. "Verified all the quotations, too. Give me another day and I could track down all of the ancient sources from which your mistress drew her rhetorical figures, because - well, imitating six authors in two pages may be a good exercise, but with that many pieces stitched together, it's impossible to hide the seams, let alone express an original thought."

I remember Koré's pale face when she handed me the letter this morning, her ink-stained fingers.

"She's a very stupid person," I say. "But it is neither lordly nor kind to sneer at her efforts."

"You have an odd kind of loyalty."

"You have an odd kind of tact. Or is that beneath the notice of a duke's heir? ~ Rosamund Hodge

And don't tell me you're sorry, because that would make you a very pitiful assassin."
"I'm not an assassin!" My head snapped up and I saw that he was kneeling right beside me.
"Oh. I'm sorry. That would make you a very pitiful saboteur who carries a knife for nonviolent purposes." His crimson cat eyes were laughing at me. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Why is he scared of the dark?"
I meant the words for a joke, but Shade nodded seriously. "Like all monsters. Because it reminds him of what he truly is". ~ Rosamund Hodge

You deserve all that and more. It made me happy to see you suffer. I would do it all over again if I could.' I realized I was shaking as the words tumbled out of me. 'I would do it again and again. Every night I would torment you and laugh. Do you understand? You are never safe with me.' I drew a shuddering breath, trying to will away the sting of tears.
He opened his eyes and stared up at me as if I were the door out of Arcadia and back to the true sky. 'That's what makes you my favorite.' He reached up and wiped a tear off my cheek with his thumb. 'Every wicked bit of you. ~ Rosamund Hodge

The question is," said Amelie, sounding like she had just come to the end of a long speech, "are you brave enough?"
"What?"
"I can't make you beautiful," said Amelie. "I'm going to give you the most beautiful makeup you've ever seen, but if you just sit under it and - and wilt, you'll look pathetic. It's like a sword. If you don't wield it, then it isn't any use to you. And it's all right if you want to look pathetic most of the time, but this is my one chance to show anyone what I can do, so you are not going to ruin it. Understood? ~ Rosamund Hodge

Now do you understand why you must always strive to be a good prince?" "I never asked to be one!" The woman raised an eyebrow. "What difference should that make? ~ Rosamund Hodge

She didn't know if the ache in her chest was grief or freedom. Maybe they were the same. ~ Rosamund Hodge

The better to kill me in my sleep?" "It would be rude to wake you first. ~ Rosamund Hodge

If you start wondering how this house works, you'll likely go mad. That could be amusing, I suppose. Especially if it's the kind of madness that causes you to run naked through the hallways. Do feel free to indulge in that anytime. ~ Rosamund Hodge

You touch another woman and I'll cut your hands off, I snapped. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Everyone who ever bargains with me is convinced that he is righteous. Even the ones who come sad-eyed and guilty - they weep to the gods that they are sinners, but in their hearts they believe their need is so special that it justifies any sin, that they are heroes for losing all their righteousness and paying with their souls. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Every day for the last three years, she had thought she deserved to die. She still didn't want to. She wanted to live with every filthy desperate scrap of her heart ~ Rosamund Hodge

I had been waiting, all my life, for someone undeceived to love me. ~ Rosamund Hodge

I never thought that freedom would feel so much like grief. ~ Rosamund Hodge

The twins in the storyline only makes it have more feels. ~ Rosamund Hodge

The problem with martyrs is that they're all dead ~ Rosamund Hodge

He is a monster, I said. Maybe I m a monster to pity him ~ Rosamund Hodge

Mademoiselle, you are very kind," he said to Soleil. "But I did not lose my hands for the purpose of making you feel special. ~ Rosamund Hodge

What gods would a demon serve, and what would I be required to offer them? ~ Rosamund Hodge

He stared at her a moment longer, then laughed softly. "I wouldn't love you if you were any weaker," he said, and let go of her. ~ Rosamund Hodge

But you know what you are, and what you deserve. You lie to me but not to yourself. That's why I love you. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Her dreams were a tangled mess of blood and shuddering trees ~ Rosamund Hodge

But she would have to wait until there were not a hundred people crowded into the room. ~ Rosamund Hodge

You will honor my mother or I will break this bottle over your head ~ Rosamund Hodge

The crash sliced through my head; it left me gasping and shivering, like all the other times I let my temper out, but the voices stopped. ~ Rosamund Hodge

Halfway kindness is worse than none. ~ Rosamund Hodge