Misattributed Kenneth Williams Quotes

Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me! ~ Frank Muir

A genial and cultured Arab, Ameen Rihani, whose English is perfect and whose eloquence is astounding. He will discuss with equal eagerness and knowledge the merits of Picasso or Van Gogh, or the Zionist question, or the British achievements in Arabia. ~ Kenneth Williams

Repetition is indeed a great teacher when learning any mathematical skill. ~ Kenneth Williams

(Sunday, 20 March 1988)
Oh! to be out of it for ever! To cease upon the midnight with no pain. Why do I linger? Not from love of life, I've always found it awful... no, it's rather from a sense of curiosity... not wanting to miss the third act. ~ Kenneth Williams

I didn't like the King's Cross world: it was grimy and dirty. I always envisioned myself in much more romantic and grand surroundings. I never really thought that I belonged to the working-class area at all. ~ Kenneth Williams

… the countryside and the village are symbols of stability and security, of order. Yet they are also, as I have noted, liminal spaces, at a very narrow remove from the atavistic Wild. Arcadia is not the realm even of Giorgione and of Claude, with its cracked pillars and thunderbolts, its lurking banditti; still less is it Poussin's sun-dappled and regularised realm of order, where, although the lamb may be destined for the altar and the spit, all things proceed with charm and gravity and studied gesture; least of all is it the degenerate and prettified Arcady of Fragonard and Watteau, filled with simpering courtier-Corydons, pallid Olympians, and fat-arsed putti. (It is only family piety that prevents me from taking a poker to an inherited coffee service in gilt porcelain with bastardised, deutero-Fragonard scenes painted on the sides of every damned thing. Cue Wallace Greenslade: '… "Round the Horne", with Marie Antoinette as the dairymaid and Kenneth Williams as the manager of the camp-site….') No: Arcadia is the very margin of the liminal space between the safe tilth and the threatening Wild, in which Pan lurks, shaggy and goatish, and Death proclaims, from ambush, et in Arcadia ego. Arcadia is not the Wide World nor the Riverbank, but the Wild Wood. And in that wood are worse than stoats and weasels, and the true Pan is no Francis of Assisi figure, sheltering infant otters. The Wild that borders and penetrates Arcady is red in tooth and claw. ~ G.M.W. Wemyss

Love is when you would go to the very end of the world with her, and in case she feels weary and tired in between the journey, you would carry her till the end. ~ Kenneth Williams

We know grooming is important for people. To get their hair done, to get makeup and things like that - that makes a person feel better. ~ Kenneth Williams

They say Im demonic in humor in the sense that I think people need somebody to wake up their mental processes. ~ Kenneth Williams

(Tuesday, 21 April 1964)
They needn't talk to me about loneliness. I've walked too many miles of pavement. I've scanned so many faces - I've looked with so much furtive hope, but it's never right. Only in my imagination. There, I have marvellous conversations with someone attractive, slow, charmingly phlegmatic & naturally reticent, and with me, he becomes articulate. But in fact, I take a sleeping pill & tell myself to shut up. ~ Kenneth Williams

The program is already funded. Everything is in place. ~ Kenneth Williams

And I take full responsibility for my actions and whatever consequences my peers see fit. ~ Kenneth Williams

The nice thing about quotes is that they give us a nodding acquaintance with the originator which is often socially impressive. ~ Kenneth Williams

It's anticipated that Hurricane Rita will still be a Category 3 storm when it hits Port Arthur. ~ Kenneth Williams

Kenneth Hari does not paint portraits as they are but as he is. I feel he is hiding something from me. To board a train into his mind would give me a ride into dark adventure. ~ Tennessee Williams

Irrelevant' Chris Fogle turns a page. Howard Cardwell turns a page. Ken Wax turns a page. Matt Redgate turns a page. 'Groovy' Bruce Channing attaches a form to a file. Ann Williams turns a page. Anand Singh turns two pages at once by mistake and turns one back which makes a slightly different sound. David Cusk turns a page. Sandra Pounder turns a page. Robert Atkins turns two separate pages of two separate files at the same time. Ken Wax turns a page. Lane Dean Jr. turns a page. Olive Borden turns a page. Chris Acquistipace turns a page. David Cusk turns a page. Rosellen Brown turns a page. Matt Redgate turns a page. R. Jarvis Brown turns a page. Ann Williams sniffs slightly and turns a page. Meredith Rand does something to a cuticle. 'Irrelevant' Chris Fogle turns a page. Ken Wax turns a page. Howard Cardwell turns a page. Kenneth 'Type of Thing' Hindle detaches a Memo 402-C(1) from a file. 'Second-Knuckle' Bob McKenzie looks up briefly while turning a page. David Cusk turns a page. A yawn proceeds across one Chalk's row by unconscious influence. Ryne Hobratschk turns a page. Latrice Theakston turns a page. Rotes Group Room 2 hushed and brightly lit, half a football field in length. Howard Cardwell shifts slightly in his chair and turns a page. Lane Dean Jr. traces his jaw's outline with his ring finger. Ed Shackleford turns a page. Elpidia Carter turns a page. Ken Wax attaches a Memo 20 to a file. Anand Singh turns a page. Jay Landauer and Ann Williams turn a page almost pr ~ David Foster Wallace

I live a very Kenneth Williams-like existence. ~ Michael Sheen

You can make one (self-contained self-rescuer) that would last all day, but you'd have to carry it behind in a wagon. ~ Kenneth Williams

I see myself as a roving mosquito, choosing it's target. ~ Kenneth Williams

There is no possible idea," Kenneth thought as he came onto the terrace, "to which the mind of man can't supply some damned alternative or other. Yet one must act. ~ Charles Williams

(Tuesday, 1 October 1968)
Why oh! why did I keep on postponing experiences until it was too late to have them? I'm like someone who wanted - indeed ached to swim, but never dared put my foot in the water. Just sat and watched others doing it, till eventually the very idea of the water is alien and frightening. I am the living proof of the futility of thought without action. ~ Kenneth Williams

The Rebecca Riots by David Williams is an unassuming book, but its significance is universal. The book and its author determined my life; they made me want to be a historian of Wales and of the world. ~ Kenneth O. Morgan

It was Noel Coward whose technique I envied and tried to emulate. I collected all his records and writing. ~ Kenneth Williams

The Mole was bewitched, entranced, fascinated. By the side of the river he trotted as one trots, when very small, by the side of a man who holds one spellbound by exciting stories; and when tired at last, he sat on the bank, while the river still chattered on to him, a babbling procession of the best stories in the world, sent from the heart of the earth to be told at last to the insatiable sea. ~ Kenneth Grahame

Coming to New York from the muted mistiness of London, as I regularly do, is like travelling from a monochrome antique shop to a technicolor bazaar. ~ Kenneth Tynan

Commitment is never an act of moderation! ~ Kenneth G. Mills

I return to the wilderness to remember what I have forgotten, that the world can be wholesome and beautiful, that the harmony and integrity of ecosystems at peace is a mirror to what we have lost. ~ Terry Tempest Williams

Genius is a rising stock market. ~ John Kenneth Galbraith

I enjoy painting, cutting the lawn and working in the garden when I have time. That's therapy for me. I enjoy working with my hands. ~ Billy Williams

Once upon a time, when women were birds, there was the simple understanding that to sing at dawn and to sing at dusk was to heal the world through joy. The birds still remember what we have forgotten, that the world is meant to be celebrated. ~ Terry Tempest Williams

Please. I'm the angel of the bunch." "And those two horns sprouting out of your head are there because . . .?" "To hold up my halo. Obviously. ~ Nicole Williams

If anything, you know, I think losing makes me even more motivated. ~ Serena Williams

I love to be busy, and when I'm off the court, I do things I love. ~ Venus Williams

Pound thought better than he practiced in this particular instance, for his Metro poem was supposedly a pure example of what he meant by Vorticism: "The image is not an idea. It is a radiant node or cluster; it is what I can, and must perforce call a vortex; from which and through which and into which ideas are constantly rushing. It is as true for the painting and the sculpture as it is for poetry. ~ Kenneth Yasuda

You can change an outfit, you can outfit change, or both. ~ Kenneth Cole

Maybe it's your obligation to use your celebrity for more than just your new BMW. I use mine to make people smile. ~ Wendy Williams