Magnus Chase Halfborn Gunderson Quotes

Halfborn Gunderson was slumped over the rudder, blood dripping from an ugly gash on his forehead.
For a moment, I thought, Eh, Halfborn gets killed that way all the time. Then I remembered we were not in Valhalla anymore. Wherever this was, if we died here, we would not get a do-over. ~ Rick Riordan

I LIKE my rivers the way I like my enemies - slow, wide, and lazy.
I rarely get what I like. ~ Rick Riordan

Congratulations, man. What's her name?"
"Estelle. It was my grandmother's name. Um, on my mom's side, obviously. Not Poseidon's."
"I approve," Alex said. "Old-fashioned and elegant. Estelle Jackson."
"Well, Estelle Blofis," Percy corrected. "My stepdad is Paul Blofis. Not much I can do about that surname, but my little sis is awesome. Five fingers. Five toes. Two eyes. She drools a lot."
"Just like her brother," Annabeth said.
Alex laughed. ~ Rick Riordan

You can't hide from yourself, Loki!" I said. "No matter what form you take, you're still you - alone, scorned, bitter, faithless. Your insults are hollow and desperate. You don't stand a chance against us, because you don't have an us. You are Loki, always alone. ~ Rick Riordan

So can I ask…?" I waved my hands vaguely. I didn't have the words.
"How it does work?" She smirked. "As long as you don't ask me to represent every gender-fluid person for you, okay? I'm not an ambassador. I'm not a teacher or a poster child. I'm just" - she mimicked my hand-waving - "me. Trying to be me as best I can. ~ Rick Riordan

From the hood of his car, he hefted a large green insulated pack - the kind Fadlan's Falafel used for deliveries. "This is for you, Magnus. I hope you enjoy."
The scent of fresh falafel wafted out. True, I'd eaten falafel just a few hours ago, but my stomach growled because ... well, more falafel. "Man, you're the best. I can't believe - Wait. You're in the middle of a fast and you brought me food? That seems wrong."
"Just because I'm fasting doesn't mean you can't enjoy." He clapped me on my shoulder. "You'll be in my prayers. All of you."
I knew he was sincere. Me, I was an atheist. I only prayed sarcastically to my own father for a better colour of boat. Learning about the existence of Norse deities and the Nine Worlds had just made me more convinced that there was no grand divine plan. What kind of God would allow Zeus and Odin to run around the same cosmos, both claiming to be the king of creation, smiting mortals with lightning bolts and giving motivational seminars?
Bur Amir was a man of faith. He and Samirah believed in something bigger, a cosmic force that actually cared about humans. I suppose it was kind of comforting to know Amir had my back in the prayer department, even if I doubted there was anybody at the end of that line.
"Thanks, man." I shook his hand one last time. ~ Rick Riordan

I guess no true Bostonian would trust a place that was sunny and pleasant all the time. But a gritty, perpetually cold and gloomy neighborhood? Throw in a couple of Dunkin' Donuts locations, and I'm right at home. ~ Rick Riordan

We Almost Become a Norwegian Tourist Attraction ~ Rick Riordan

I'd never been happier to feel Yggdrasil's bark beneath my fingers. I scurried up the trunk, scrambled through the branches, and finally found an opening to another world. I didn't know which one it was until I tumbled out onto floor nineteen, right at Halfborn's feet.
"Mallory!" he yelled. "I've been looking all over for you, woman! You are the most reckless, foolhardy einherji - "
I got to my feet and glared at him. Then I hurled myself into his arms. "Oh yeah?" I murmured against his bare chest. "Well . . . takes one to know one. ~ Rick Riordan

You don't hear heroes say that a lot.
Quick, Boy Wonder! To the pottery studio!
But Alex's tone left no doubt it was a matter of life and death. ~ Rick Riordan

We tossed the bag into the pool. I resisted the urge to jump in after it.
"There you go, Andvari," I said. "Enjoy."
Or maybe Andvari was gone. In which case we'd just made a family of trout billionaires. ~ Rick Riordan

Dude. Whoa."
I looked up to find Miles staring at me openmouthed in astonishment. Around him was a crowd of Vanaheim warriors. A few shifted and murmured uneasily.
The dark-haired girl in the bikini top moved forward. "They're . . . dead." A tear traced down her cheek.
It occurred to me then that while she, Miles, and the rest of Freya's chosen were technically warriors, they might never have seen an actual battle, let alone been in one.
"Well, yes, they're dead," I said carefully. "But if they'd succeeded in charbroiling and eating me, then I'd be dead. For good."
The girl looked at me blankly.
"Because I'm an einherji."
The girl still looked puzzled.
"If I die outside Valhalla, I stay dead. Unlike the dragons who, being mythical creatures, will vanish into Ginnungagap and eventually be reborn."
The girl's face cleared. "The dragons will be reborn?" She grabbed her friend's hands and started jumping up and down and squealing. "We'll have baby dragons here soon. Soooo cute!" She beamed at me. "Thank you so much for killing them! ~ Rick Riordan

I stood up straight and announced in my deepest quest-accepting voice: " I will use the mead of Kevin!"
Alex joined Samirah in the bury-your-face-in-your-hands club.
Aegir narrowed his eyes. "You mean the Mead of Kvasir?"
"Yes." I said. "That! ~ Rick Riordan

That set my ears buzzing. Why did Annabeth sound like she'd been crying?"
"You okay, cuz?"
She paused for a long time. "I will be. We... we got some bad news when we got out here. ~ Rick Riordan

I'd been stuck in one gender my whole life. It never bothered me. Now I wondered how that would feel for Alex. The only analogy I could come up with wasn't a very good one. My second grade teacher, Miss Mengler (aka Miss Mangler), had forced me to write with my right hand even though I was left-handed. She'd actually taped my left hand to the desk. My mom had exploded when she found out, but I still remembered the panicky feeling of being restrained, forced to write in such an unnatural way because Miss Mengler had insisted, 'This is the normal way, Magnus. Stop complaining. You'll get used to it. ~ Rick Riordan

Thor frowned as if he'd just had a thought, which must have been a painful experience. ~ Rick Riordan

In case you're wondering, Old York looks absolutely nothing like New York.
It looks older.
Magnus Chase, master of description. You're welcome. ~ Rick Riordan

Those movies... ridiculously inaccurate. The real gods of Asgard - Thor, Loki, Odin, and the rest - are much more powerful, much more terrifying than anything Hollywood could concoct. ~ Rick Riordan

Jack," I said, "why don't you go check on Sam?" Maybe you can advise her on getting through those doors. OR you could sing to her. I know she'd love that."
"Yeah? Cool!" Jack zoomed off to serenade Sam, which meant Sam would want to hit me later, except it was Ramadan so she had to be nice to me. Wow, I was a bad person.




At the doors, Jack was trying to help by suggesting songs he could sing to inspire new ideas for getting inside: 'Knockin'on Heaven's Door', 'I Got the Keys' or 'Break on Through (to the Other Side)'.
"How about none of the above?" Sam said.
"'None of the Above' ..." Jack mused. "Is that by Stevie Wonder?"
"How's it going guys?" I asked. I didn't know if it was physically possible to strangle a magic sword, but I didn't want to see Sam try. ~ Rick Riordan

Alex promised to keep watch. At least I think that's what she said. She could have announced I'll invite Loki into camp and kill you all in your sleep! HAHAHAHA! and I still would've passed out. ~ Rick Riordan

You're the god of fishing," Blitzen said.
Njord frowned. "Other things as well, Mr. Dwarf."
"Please, call me Blitz," said Blitz. "Mr. Dwarf was my father. ~ Rick Riordan

I love you," Amir told her.
Samirah stumbled backwards like she'd been hit in the face with a giant eagle egg. Alex propped her up.
"I ... yes," Sam squeaked. "Also. Too."
Amir nodded. He turned and got into his car. A moment later, his tail-lights disappeared down Flagship Way.
Samirah smacked her own forehead. "Also? Too? I am such an idiot."
Alex patted her arm. "I thought you were quite eloquent. Come on sister. Your neon-yellow warship awaits. ~ Rick Riordan

You were amazing," Sam said.
I let that sink in. Samirah wasn't big on doling out praise any more than Mallory wa big on doling out apologies.
"Well, it wasn't poetry," I said at last. "More like pure panic."
"Maybe there's not much difference," Sam said. "Besides just take the compliment, Chase. ~ Rick Riordan

Sam and I couldn't have done it," I admitted. "You're the doer, just like
Frigg said."
Jack floated over, his blade shuddering and warbling like a hand saw. "Frigg? Oh, man, I don't like Frigg. She's too quiet. Too devious. Too - "
"She's my ma," Mallory grumbled.
"Oh, that Frigg!" Jack said. "Yeah, she's great."
"I hate her," Mallory said.
"Gods, me too!" Jack commiserated. ~ Rick Riordan

I surveyed my surroundings. The hill was covered with sweet-smelling wildflowers and dancing butterflies awash in warm, glowing light - the power of Freya, goddess and ruler of Vanaheim, washing over the realm. On the hilltop, Freya's handpicked warriors lounged on blankets, laughing and sipping chai.
I scowled. Peace, butterflies, chai: this world was awful. ~ Rick Riordan

Jack followed me around the deck, alternating between Abba hits (Vikings are huge Abba fans) and telling me stories about the old days when he and Frey would roam the Nine Worlds, spreading sunshine and happiness and occasionally killing people. ~ Rick Riordan

Alex hopped onto the four-poster bed. He bounced up and down, grinning as the springs squeaked.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Making noise." He leaned over and rifled through Randolph's nightstand drawer. "Let's see. Cough drops. Paper clips. Some wadded-up Kleenex that I am not going to touch. And ..." He whistled. "Medication for bowel discomfort! Magnus, all this bounty belongs to you!"
"You're a strange person."
"I prefer the term fabulously weird. ~ Rick Riordan

Annabeth shook her head. "All these years sneaking around, and we could've just been ourselves?"
"You should always do that." Alex strolled alongside, back in human form, though he still had a few flamingo feathers stuck in his hair. "And you have to flaunt the weird, my friends."
"I'm going to quote you on that," Percy said.
"You'd better. ~ Rick Riordan

He turned to leave, then hesitated. "One more thing."
He walked up to me. "I've also been thinking about your declaration of undying love or whatever."
"I didn't - it wasn't -"
He clamped his hands on the sides of my gooey face and kissed me.
I had to wonder: was it possible to dissolve into chocolate on a molecular level and melt into a puddle on the carpet? Because that's how I felt. I'm pretty sure Valhalla had to resurrect me several times during the course of that kiss. Otherwise, I don't know how I was still in one piece when Alex finally pulled away.
He studied me critically, his brown and amber eyes taking me in. He had a chocolate moustache and goatee now, and chocolate down the front of his sweater vest.
I'll be honest. A small part of my brain thought, Alex is male right now. I have just been kissed by a dude. How do I feel about that?
The rest of my brain answered: I have just been kissed by Alex Fierro. I am absolutely great with that.
In fact, I might have done something typically embarrassing and stupid, like making the aforementioned declaration of undying love, but Alex spared me.
"Eh." He shrugged. "I'll keep thinking about it. I'll get back to you. In the meantime, definitely take that shower."
He left, whistling a tune that might have been a Frank Sinatra song from the elevator, "Fly Me to the Moon". ~ Rick Riordan

Somewhere off to my left, a little voice chirped: The redhead is smart. We can help.
In a nearby tree sat a murder of crows. (That's what you call a group of them. You learn useless facts like that in Valhalla.) "Uh, guys," I told my friends, "those crows claim they can help."
Claim? squawked another crow. You don't trust us? Send your two friends back to the ship with the mead. We'll give you a hand here. All we ask for in return is something shiny. Anything will do.
I related this to my friends.


I looked at the crows. "Okay, guys, what's the plan?"
Plan? cawed the nearest crow. We just said we'd help. We don't have a plan, per se.
Stupid misleading crows. Also, what kind of bird uses the term per se?
Since I didn't have time to murder the entire murder, I contemplated my limited options. ~ Rick Riordan

Wind moaned through the canyons like a chorus of zombies. I mentioned this to Blitzen, but he set me straight. 'No, kid,' he said. 'Norse zombies are called draugr. They move silently. You'd never hear them coming.' 'Thanks,' I said. 'That's a huge relief. ~ Rick Riordan

I glanced at Alex and stifled a shriek. While I wasn't looking, he'd transformed into a large timber wolf.
"Do you have to turn into animals behind my back?" I asked.
Alex barred his fangs in a canine grin. ~ Rick Riordan

The only strange thing about Jackson was the tattoo on the inside of his forearm - a trident as dark as seared wood, with a single line underneath and the letters SPQR.
He'd told me the letters stood for Sono Pazzi Quelli Romani - those Romans are crazy. I wasn't sure if he was kidding. ~ Rick Riordan

I recalled my encounter with the sea goddess Ran, who had described her husband as a hipster who liked microbrewing. At the time, the description had been too weird to comprehend. Afterward, it had seemed funny. Now it seemed a little too real, because I was pretty sure the hipster god in question was standing right in front of me. ~ Rick Riordan

Words can be more lethal than blades, Magnus. And Loki is a master of words. To beat him, you must find your inner poet. Only one thing can give you a chance to beat Loki at his own game."
"Mead," I guessed. "Kvasir's Mead."
The answer didn't sit right with me. I'd been on the streets long enough to see how well "mead" improved people's skills. Pick your poison: beer, wine, vodka, whiskey. Folks claimed they needed it to get through the day. They called it liquid courage. It made them funnier, smarter, more creative. Except it didn't. It just made them less able to tell how unfunny and stupid they were acting. ~ Rick Riordan

Just because you kill people doesn't mean your feet should. ~ Rick Riordan

My gut told me that the giantesses would be much more powerful if they combined forces, like they had when they sank our ship. We were only alive so far because each of the sisters was intent on killing her own target. We had succeeded at being just that individually annoying. ~ Rick Riordan

Standing on the yarndarm of the USS Constitution, looking down at Boston Harbor two hundred feet below, I wished I had the natural defences of a turkey buzzard. Then I could projectile-vomit on Percy Jackson and make him go away. ~ Rick Riordan

Percy's ears turned as pink as Alex's jeans. "Anyway, maybe we've been looking at this all wrong. I've been tying to teach you sea skills. But the most important thing is to use whatever you've got to hand - your team, your wits, the enemy's own magical stuff."
"And there's no way to plan for that," I said.
"Exactly!" Percy said. "My work here is done!"
Annabeth frowned. "Percy, you're saying the best plan is no plan. As a child of Athena, I can't really endorse that. ~ Rick Riordan

We hurtled through the sky like things that hurtle through the sky.
The wind whipped my face. The snow blinded me. The cold was so bad it made me cold.
Okay, yeah, the mead of poetry definitely wasn't working. ~ Rick Riordan

I flipped him a gesture that he wouldn't need sign language to understand. ~ Rick Riordan

Suttung howled. His axe slipped from his hands, the heavy blade impaling itself in the skull of its owner. And that, kids, is why you should never use a battleaxe without wearing your safety helmet. ~ Rick Riordan

Pretty didn't do it justice. I felt like we'd sailed into a world meant for much larger beings, a place where gods and monsters roamed freely. ~ Rick Riordan

Where were we?" he said. "Ah, yes, cake and sarcasm. ~ Rick Riordan

I am Hel," she agreed. "Sometimes called Hela, though most mortals dare not speak my name at all. No jokes, Magnus Chase? Who the Hel are you? What the Hel do you want? You look Hela bad. I was expecting more bravado. ~ Rick Riordan

Sam and Alex scurried out of the kitchen. I hoped they were going to formulate a cunning plan to get us all out of Aegir's hall alive. If Sam was really just going to pray .. well, I wondered if she'd ever tried to say a Muslim prayer in the home of a Norse god (sorry, jotun diety) before. I was afraid the entire place might collapse from religious paradox. ~ Rick Riordan

T.J. rushed past me, heading for the prow, and nearly impaled me with his bayonet. "Magnus, hold that line!" he yelled, waving at pretty much every rope on the ship.
I grabbed the nearest bit of rigging and pulled as hard as I could, hoping I had the right line, or hoping I at least looked helpful while doing the wrong thing. ~ Rick Riordan

I held out the rune for Hearthstone. 'I know what it feels like to be an empty cup, to have everything taken away from you. But you're not alone. However much magic you need to use, it's okay. We've got you. We're your family.'

Hearth's eyes rimmed with green water. He signed to us, and this time I think he actually meant ~ Rick Riordan

A little secret, Magnus. There is no good and evil. There's only capable and incapable. I am capable. ~ Rick Riordan

It's stupid, what keeps families apart ~ Rick Riordan