John Eldredge Quotes

There is a life you can love, but it takes courage, perseverance, and a little cunning to get there. It takes a warrior. ~ John Eldredge

Emasculation happens in marriage as well. Women are often attracted to the wilder side of a man, but once having caught him they settle down to the task of domesticating him. Ironically, if he gives in he'll resent her for it, and she in turn will wonder where the passion has gone. ~ John Eldredge

Confusing the weight of sins actually hurts our ability to resist temptation. ~ John Eldredge

All of the happiness we have ever known and all of the happiness we hope to find is unreachable without a heart. ~ John Eldredge

Whatever isn't born out of deep confidence in God is sin. That includes our personality and our approach to life. ~ John Eldredge

Simone Weil was absolutely right- beauty and affliction are the only two things that can pierce our hearts. Because this is so true, we must have a measure of beauty in our lives proportionate to our affliction. No more. Much more. Is this not God's prescription for us? Just take a look around. ~ John Eldredge

The purpose of his life, death, and resurrection was to ransom you from your sin, deliver you from the clutches of evil, restore you to God - so that his personality and his life could heal and fill your personality. Your humanity, and your life. This is the reason he came.
Anything else is religion. ~ John Eldredge

To find God, you must look with all your heart. To remain present to God, you must remain present to your heart. To hear his voice, you must listen with your heart. To love him, you must love with all your heart. You cannot be the person God meant you to be, and you cannot live the life he meant you to live, unless you live from the heart. ~ John Eldredge

The intellectual support for UNBELIEF is about as stable as the stock market. ~ John Eldredge

Can you picture Ghandi or Buddha storming into the polling place of a local election, shouting, overturning tables, sending the participants fleeing? Now throw a small carnival into the mix, which they also need rout. Impossible. Whoever did this would have to be really committed to clear the building. Fierce and intentional.
This is a breathtaking quality - especially when compared to our present age where doubt masquerades as humility, passivity cloaks as rest, and emasculated indecision poses as laid-back enlightenment. ~ John Eldredge

Don't climb on that, don't break anything, don't be so aggressive, don't be so noisy, don't be so messy, don't make such crazy risks. But God's design - which He placed in boys as the picture of Himself - is a resounding yes. Be fierce, be wild, be passionate. ~ John Eldredge

We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are. (HEBREWS 4:15) ~ John Eldredge

There is something else I am after, out here in the wild. I am searching for an even more elusive prey ... something that can only be found through the help of wilderness. I am looking for my heart. ~ John Eldredge

Desire, both the whispers and the shouts, is the map we have been given to find the only life worth living. ~ John Eldredge

Our smaller stories are constructed along the plot lines of control and gratification. Once we begin to live by this false self, Satan and his minions sabotage the story to make sure we are exposed. Then he mocks us for our foolishness and hypocrisy for hiding behind such a facade in the first place. Other times, he simply leaves us to die in costume. ~ John Eldredge

A man whose identity flows out of deep validation doesn't wilt under criticism. He enjoys applause when it comes but frankly isn't desperate for it. He can walk away from work at five o'clock; he doesn't measure his success by how much money he makes. We grow into this man, to be sure; I'm not setting a new standard of perfection. But what I am describing ~ John Eldredge

If only Jesus' followers shared his personality. That one shift alone would correct so many of the ridiculous and horrifying things that pass for popular Christianity. ~ John Eldredge

What have we to offer, really, other than who we are and what God has been pouring into our lives? It was not by accident that you were born; it was not by chance that you have the desires you do. The Victorious Trinity has planned on your being here now, "for such a time as this" (Esther 4:14). We need you. ~ John Eldredge

When we are in the darkness, we begin to feel like we have always been there. But it is not true. David reminds himself that God has been faithful in the past; God will be faithful again. He urges himself to put his hope in God because the morning will come. ~ John Eldredge

A man needs a much bigger orbit than a woman. He needs a mission, a life purpose, and he needs to know his name. Only then is he fit for a woman, for only then does he have something to invite her into. ~ John Eldredge

The early Celtic Christians called the Holy Spirit 'the wild goose.' And the reason why is they knew that you cannot tame him. ~ John Eldredge

I am looking for my heart. ~ John Eldredge

Most of our addictions [shopping, food, bad relationships] as women flare up when we feel that we are not loved or sought after. ~ John Eldredge

Christianity, in its true form, tells us that there is an Author and that he is good, the essence of all that is good and beautiful and true, for he is the source of all these things. It tells us that he has set our hearts' longings within us, for he has made us to live in an Epic. It warns that the truth is always in danger of being twisted and corrupted and stolen from us because there is a Villain in the Story who hates our hearts and wants to destroy us. It calls us up into a Story that is truer and deeper than any other, and assures us that there we will find the meaning of our lives. ~ John Eldredge

You cannot force people to walk with God. You cannot force them to repent. All you can do is live with integrity and invite them to do so as well. Take things a step at a time. Give them consequences when they refuse to deal with serious issues, and pray. Pray like the dickens. Pray every step of the way. ~ John Eldredge

Somehow we have overlooked the fact this treasured called the heart can also be broken, has been broken, and now lies in pieces down under the surface. When it comes to habits we cannot quit or patterns we cannot stop, anger that flies out of nowhere, fears we cannot overcome, or weaknesses we hate to admit
much of what troubles us comes out of the broken places in our hearts crying out for relief.
Jesus speaks as if we are all brokenhearted. We would do well to trust His perspective on this. ~ John Eldredge

Contentment can only happen as we increase desire, let it run itself out towar its fulfilment, and carry us along with it. ~ John Eldredge

The world has been wrong about you. They've hated your glory - just as the Evil One hates the glory of God. But we need your gift. Come forth. ~ John Eldredge

So you can't demand the broken to live as if they were whole. Discipline is not the issue; apply discipline and you'll make it worse. What is needed is healing. ~ John Eldredge

He woos, he confronts, he delivers, he heals, he shoots straight, and then he uses intrigue. He lives out before them the most compelling view of God, shows them an incredibly attractive holiness while shattering the religious glaze. But still, he lets them walk away if they choose. ~ John Eldredge

Now, if you believed both assumptions, if they were woven into your deepest convictions about the world, you would want to learn to pray like a soldier wants to learn to use his weapon, like a smoke jumper wants to learn survival skills. We really have no idea what sort of breakthrough is actually possible until we learn to pray. Perhaps we, too, will be ending droughts and stopping wildfires. ~ John Eldredge

We don't get to stay in hiding until we are whole; Jesus invites us to live as an inviting woman now, and find our healing along the way. ~ John Eldredge

For above all else, the Christian life is a love affair of the heart. ~ John Eldredge

I'm married. I have three children. I have a mortgage to pay. The plumbing breaks and the yard needs trimming. However, what my wife and children need most from me is my passion for them. ~ John Eldredge

You live in a world at war. Spiritual attack must be a category you think in or you will misunderstand more than half of what happens in your marriage. ~ John Eldredge

The true story of every person in this world is not the story you see, the external story. The true story of each person is the journey of his or her heart. ~ John Eldredge

Most of the contexts are life and death, by the way, and God is your only hope. Your ezer. If he is not there beside you ... you are dead. A better translation therefore of ezer would be "lifesaver." Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart. ~ John Eldredge

Few things can mess you up as badly as trying to do your best. For the tender heart, the earnest heart, it is so discouraging to give all you have trying to do what you think Jesus would have you do, and find yourself falling short, sabotaging your own efforts at every turn. Discouragement and shame settle in like a long Seattle rain.
And this is what most Christians experience as the Christian life: Try harder; feel worse. ~ John Eldredge

We don't live in the Garden. We live far from Eden. Every life is full of heartaches. Every life, frankly, is unspeakably sad. ~ John Eldredge

There is no greater place for damage (than marriage) because there is no greater place for glory. ~ John Eldredge

We think you'll find that every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That's what makes a woman come alive. ~ John Eldredge

All the stories we've been telling about the presence of an evil power in the world, all the dark characters that have sent chills down our spines and given us restless nights - they are spoken to us as warnings.
There is evil cast around us ... there is an evil force in this world. ~ John Eldredge

The reason there are so many struggling women is because there were so many wounded girls. ~ John Eldredge

The culture of women in the church today is crippled by some very pervasive lies. "To be spiritual is to be busy. To be spiritual is to be disciplined. To be spiritual is to be dutiful." No, to be spiritual is to be in Romance with God. The desire to be romanced lies deep in the heart of every women. It is for such that you were made. Are you ARE romanced, and ever will be. ~ John Eldredge

The first line grabs me by the throat. "Therefore we do not lose heart." Somebody knows how not to lose heart? I'm all ears. For we are losing heart. All of us. Daily. It is the single most unifying quality shared by the human race on the planet at this time. We are losing - or we have already lost - heart. ~ John Eldredge

Have you thought about His (God) handling of the gospel? God needs to get a message out to the human race, without which they will perish ... foreve r. What's the plan? First, He starts with the most unlikely group ever: a couple of prostitutes, a few fishermen with no better than a second-grade education, a tax collector. Then, he passes the ball to us. Unbelievable. ~ John Eldredge

You are the son of a kind, strong, and engaged Father, a Father wise enough to guide you in the Way, generous enough to provide for your journey, offering to walk with you every step. This is perhaps the hardest thing for us to believe - really believe, down deep in our hearts, so that it changes us forever, changes the way we approach each day. ~ John Eldredge

But a wound unfelt is a wound unhealed. ~ John Eldredge

We describe a person without compassion as "heartless," and we urge him or her to "have a heart." Our deepest hurts we call "heartaches." Jilted lovers are "brokenhearted." Courageous soldiers are "bravehearted." The truly evil are "black-hearted" and saints have "hearts of gold." If we need to speak at the most intimate level, we ask for a "heart-to-heart" talk. "Lighthearted" is how we feel on vacation. And when we love someone as truly as we may, we love "with all our heart." But when we lose our passion for life, when a deadness sets in which we cannot ... ~ John Eldredge

The word Christ uses for "life" is the word psyche - the word for our soul, our inner self, our heart. He says that the things we do to save our psyche, our self, those plans to save and protect our inner life - those are the things that will actually destroy us. ~ John Eldredge

You learn a great deal about the true nature of a person in the way they love, why they love, and, in what they love. ~ John Eldredge

spirit - we know there is something special, even sacramental about sex. It ~ John Eldredge

There are a lot of good men out there who just need a little direction and leadership in order for them to offer what they have to young men and boys. ~ John Eldredge

One of the deepest of all human longings is the longing to belong, to be a part of things, to be invited in. We want to be part of the fellowship. Where did that come from? ~ John Eldredge

Security is not found in the absence of danger, but in the presence of Jesus. ~ John Eldredge

And loneliness is something we share with him. "The whole conviction of my life," wrote Thomas Wolfe, "now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon peculiar to myself and a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence." To be missed, or misunderstood. To be judged unfairly. To be wanted for what you can do, rather than who you are. To go on for years unappreciated, even unknown by those closest to you. ~ John Eldredge

Of course, none of this can happen for us until we give our lives back to God. We cannot know the joy or the life or the freedom of heart I've described until we surrender our lives to Jesus and surrender them totally ... We turn, and give ourselves body, soul, and spirit back to God, asking him to cleanse our hearts and make them new. And he does. He gives us a new heart. And he comes to dwell there, in our hearts. ~ John Eldredge

(Satan's) first goal, of course, is to make sure we never meet the Prince who is Jesus of Nazareth or experience a taste of the Great Ball, But once we have, Satan's second and lifelong purpose with each of us is to make sure we never know who we really are; indeed, to keep us living the life of a cellar maid rather than a princess. Even though we who are believers have tasted the Ball and the love of the Prince in beginning ways, the voices of the stepsisters continue to speak to us in tones varying from whispers to shouts, and like Cinderella, each of us has our own years as a "cellar maid" that the enemy can whisper to us about, causing us to wonder if this isn't who we really are after all. ~ John Eldredge

I'm well aware that it's life I need, and it's life I'm looking for. But the offer has gotten "interpreted" by well-meaning people to say, "Oh, well. Yes, of course ... God intends life for you. But that is eternal life, meaning, because of the death of Jesus Christ you can go to heaven when you die." And that's true ... in a way. But it's like saying getting married means, "Because I've given you this ring, you will be taken care of in your retirement." And in the meantime? Isn't there a whole lot more to the relationship in the meantime? (It's in the meantime that we're living out our days, by the way.) Are we just lost at sea? What did Jesus mean when he promised us life? I go back to the source, and what I find is just astounding. ~ John Eldredge

He created Adam for adventure, battle and beauty; he created us for a unique place in his story and he is committed to bringing us back to the original design. ~ John Eldredge

The guy who sits in front of the television is unengaged. That man is a bad man. ~ John Eldredge

Life is a hypocrite if I can't live The way it moves me! ~ John Eldredge

Our lives are not a random series of events; they tell a Story that has meaning. ~ John Eldredge

Secret of the warrior-heart of Jesus. Second, a warrior is cunning. He knows when to fight and when to run; he can sense a trap and never charges blindly ahead; ~ John Eldredge

An intimate encounter with Jesus is the most transforming experience of human existence. To know him as he is, is to come home. To have his life, joy, love, and presence cannot be compared. A true knowledge of Jesus is our greatest need and our greatest happiness. ~ John Eldredge

Frodo could not be a hero unless he was born into a story with many chapters already played out before his own. His moment derives its weight and urgency from the moments that have come before. ~ John Eldredge

If strangers and strange sights can shake the world of children, it takes the people they know and love best to pull it out from under them like a chair. ~ John Eldredge

If you had permission to do what you really want to do, what would you do? ~ John Eldredge

In any hand-to-hand combat, there's a constant back-and-forth of blows, ~ John Eldredge

There is something about human nature that just doesn't want to face the reality that we live in two worlds. We live in the physical, material world where we have jobs, read books, and go about our business. And we live in a spiritual world - and that is a world at war. ~ John Eldredge

Without the anticipation of better things ahead, we will have no heart for the journey. ~ John Eldredge

If one of you is walking through a dark valley personally of course it affects the marriage. But it is not about the marriage. ~ John Eldredge

Just like God, a woman is not a problem to be solved but a vast wonder to be enjoyed. This is so true of her sexuality. Few women can or even want to "just do it." Foreplay is crucial to her heart, the whispering and loving and exploring of one another that culminates in intercourse. That is a picture of what it means to love her soul. She yearns to be known and that takes time and intimacy. It requires an unveiling. As she is sought after, she reveals more of her beauty. As she unveils her beauty, she draws us to know her more deeply. ~ John Eldredge

Grief is a form of validation; it says the wound mattered. It mattered. You mattered. That's not the way life was supposed to go. ~ John Eldredge

We don't need accountability groups; we need fellow warriors, someone to fight alongside, someone to watch our back. ~ John Eldredge

You clean and organize; you demand perfection - did you ever wonder why? ~ John Eldredge

Religion and its defenders have always been the most insidious enemy of the true faith precisely because they are not glaring opponents; they are impostors. A raving pagan is easier to dismiss than an elder in your church. Before Jesus came along, the Pharisees ran the show. Everybody took what they said as gospel - even though it didn't sound like good news at all. But we wrestle not against flesh and blood. The Pharisees and their brethren down through the ages have merely acted - unknowingly, for the most part - as puppets, the mouthpiece of the Enemy. ~ John Eldredge

The meaning of our lives is revealed through experiences that at first seem at odds with each other
moments we wish would never end and moments we wish had never begun. ~ John Eldredge

This is the time for a young man to stop saying, "Why is life so hard?" He takes the hardness as the call to fight, to rise up, take it on. ~ John Eldredge

Christianity has basically communicated to men that the reason God put you on this Earth is to be a good boy. Mind your manners, be a nice guy. That's soul killing! ~ John Eldredge

I wasn't mean; I wasn't evil. I was nice. And let me tell you, a hesitant man is the last thing in the world a woman needs. She needs a lover and a warrior, not a Really Nice Guy. ~ John Eldredge

It takes great courage to be vulnerable. It takes enormous strength to be a real woman. ~ John Eldredge

Worship is the act of the abandoned heart adoring its God ~ John Eldredge

I started working at Focus on the Family doing debates and media and cultural studies. ~ John Eldredge

A boy wants to attack something - and so does a man, even if it's only a little white ball on a tee. He wants to whack it into kingdom come. ~ John Eldredge

Most men think they are simply here on earth to kill time - and it's killing them. ~ John Eldredge

I daresay we've heard a bit about original sin, but not nearly enough about original glory, which comes before sin and is deeper to our nature. We were crowned with glory and honor. Why does a woman long to be beautiful? Why does a man hope to be found brave? Because we remember, if only faintly, that we were once more than we are now. ~ John Eldredge

How wonderful to discover that God has never been alone. He has always been Trinity - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God has always been a fellowship. This whole Story began with something relational. ~ John Eldredge

I shall take the heart," returned the Tin Woodman; "for brains do not make one happy, and happiness is the best thing in the world." (L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz) ~ John Eldredge

If you've spent any time around horses, you know a stallion can be a major problem. They're strong, very strong, and they've got a mind of their own. Stallions typically don't like to be bridled, and they can get downright aggressive - especially if there are mares around. A stallion is hard to tame. If you want a safer, quieter animal, there's an easy solution: castrate him. A gelding is much more compliant. You can lead him around by the nose; he'll do what he's told without putting up a fuss. There's only one problem: Geldings don't give life. They can't come through for you the way a stallion can. A stallion is dangerous all right, but if you want the life he offers, you have to have the danger too. They go together. ~ John Eldredge

Most people don't even try to learn the ways of the kingdom; they just go about their days with a practical agnosticism, hoping things work out, tossing up prayers like they hope to score on a Jesus lottery ticket. ~ John Eldredge

We often speak of a man who's done this successfully as a "self-made man." The appellation is usually spoken with a sense of admiration, but really it should be said in the same tones we might use of the dearly departed, or of a man who recently lost an arm - with sadness and regret. What the term really means is "an orphaned man who figured how to master some part of life on his own. ~ John Eldredge

Every story has a villain. Every story also has a hero. The Great Love Story the Scriptures are telling us about also reveals a Lover who longs for you. The story of your life is also the story of the long and passionate pursuit of your heart by the One who knows you best and loves you most. ~ John Eldredge

It takes courage to seek God, and courage to wait for His reply. ~ John Eldredge

The balancing act we parents attempt is convincing our children: 1. You are loved more than you can imagine. 2. The world does not revolve around you. ~ John Eldredge

'Wild at Heart' simply came out of my journey as a man and then my work with men. ~ John Eldredge

A man's calling is written on his true heart, and he discovers it when he enters the frontier of his deep desires. ~ John Eldredge

What man is a man who does not make the world better? ~ John Eldredge

The true test of a man, the beginning of his redemption, actually starts when he can no longer rely on what he's used all his life. The real journey begins when the false self fails. ~ John Eldredge

This is why the "apply some principles" approach to marriage improvement doesn't work. So long as we choose to turn a blind eye to how we are fallen as men or women, and to the unique style of relating that we have forged out of our sin and brokenness, we will continue to do damage to our marriages. ~ John Eldredge