Jerry Thomas Bartender Quotes

An efficient bartenders first aim should be to please his customers, paying particular attention to meet the individual wishes of those whose tastes and desires he has already watched and ascertained; and, with those whose peculiarities he has had no opportunity of learning, he should politely inquire how they wish their beverages served, and use his best judgment in endeavoring to fulfill their desires to their entire satisfaction. In this way he will not fail to acquire popularity and success. ~ Jerry Thomas

I'm sitting in front of the TV, watching Jerry Springer, and it makes me think of how many mad people there are in the world, and whether everyone is mad deep down, they just pretend they're not, and it's the people in asylums or on Jerry Springer who are the honest ones. I have a notebook and a chewed-up pen, and I'm trying to think of a topic for the Youth Issues speech. Mrs Thomas says she thinks I have a lot to say, but I don't. Nothing I can put words to anyway. I could talk about bullying, or alcoholism, but I don't think I could speak about that out loud, it's too real, and it'd be like I was standing up there naked. More than naked. It would be like my skin was all peeled off and I was just standing there with my heart all bloody and thumping in my rib cage for everyone to see. ~ Megan Jacobson

The whiskey was a good start. I got the idea from Dylan Thomas. He's this poet who drank twenty-one straight whiskeys at the White Horse Tavern in New York and then died on the spot from alcohol poisoning. I've always wanted to hear the bartender's side of the story. What was it like watching this guy drink himself out of here? How did it feel handing him number twenty-one and watching his face crumple up before the fall of the stool? And did he already have number twenty-two poured, waiting for this big fat tip, and then have to drink it himself after whoever came took the body away? ~ Michael Thomas Ford

God does not demand that every man attain to what is theoretically highest and best. It is better to be a good street sweeper than a bad writer, better to be a good bartender than a bad doctor, and the repentant thief who died with Jesus on Calvary was far more perfect than the holy ones who had Him nailed to the cross. And yet, abstractly speaking, what is more holy than the priesthood and less holy than the state of a criminal? The dying thief had, perhaps, disobeyed the will of God in many things: but in the most important event of his life he listened and obeyed. The Pharisees had kept the law to the letter and had spent their lives in the pursuit of a most scrupulous perfection. But they were so intent upon perfection as an abstraction that when God manifested His will and His perfection in a concrete and definite way they had no choice but to reject it. ~ Thomas Merton

I loved Jerry, and I wanted to have his baby." She laughed. "This was before women started looking at their vaginas in hand mirrors and Gloria Steinem told us we could be more than just mothers. ~ Michael Thomas Ford

It was like Jerry McGuire. I was poor, starstruck Dorothy - minus the kid and the vagina - and Ben was Show Me the Money Jerry and he never gave me a chance to have him at hello."
"I have no clue what you just said."
He waved me off. "I'm well aware, but it was a perfect comparison that shouldn't go to waste. ~ Ashlan Thomas

Do good work. Don't worry about expressing yourself. Figure out what you do well and make it better. ~ Thomas S. Buechner

The arrogance of some of those who are so damned sure they are right is just astounding. Scientific witch hunts are often the worst kind, and have been since the secular authorities stopped enforcing the local bishop's decrees of anathema. ~ Jerry Pournelle

I'm always playing the nice guy in most of the projects that I do. ~ Sean Patrick Thomas

He hadn't expected anyone so pretty, and it threw him. Tina had the Faye Dunaway thing. Faye before the surgery, when her cheekbones were still as sharp as can openers and she looked like a feral gazelle. ~ Jerry Stahl

Jude leaped out of arm's reach, and walked along the trackway weeping
not from the pain, though that was keen enough; not from the perception of the flaw in the terrestrial scheme, by which what was good for God's birds was bad for God's gardener; but with the awful sense that he had wholly disgraced himself before he had been a year in the parish, and hence might be a burden to his great-aunt for life. ~ Thomas Hardy

Miss von Osterloh had looked through it once during an idle fifteen minutes and pronunce it "quite sophisticated," which veredict was her euphemism for "inhumanly boring. ~ Thomas Mann

Mr Flosky suddenly stopped: he found himself unintentionally trespassing within the limits of common sense. ~ Thomas Love Peacock

You were not contented while you had her, and to weep for her now is childish. ~ Thomas Paine

One of the earliest resurrection scenes in the Bible is that of Thomas demanding evidence - he wanted to see, to touch, to prove. Those who question and probe and debate are heirs of the apostles just as much as the most fervent of believers. ~ Jon Meacham

Political interest [can] never be separated in the long run from moral right. ~ Thomas Jefferson

The system of banking have[for]ever reprobated. I contemplate it as a blot left in all our Constitutions, which, if not covered, will end in their destruction, which is already hit by the gamblers in corruption, and is sweeping away in its progress the fortunes and morals of our citizens. ~ Thomas Jefferson

The Bible makes the best people in the world. ~ Thomas Jefferson

I would say that in 2000, we understand as much about how today's system of globalization is going to work as we understood about how the Cold War system was going to work in 1946. ~ Thomas Friedman

I can hardly thinke there was any scared into Heaven; they go the surest way to Heaven who would serve God without a Hell; other Mercenaries, that crouch unto Him in feare of Hell, though they terme themselves servants, are indeed but the slaves of the Almighty. ~ Thomas Browne

I'm not sure what a good person is, exactly. On the one hand, it could be someone who always play by the rules. But someone can follow the rules and still be a real jerk, you know? In fact, some of the biggest idiots I know are people who follow the rules, usually because they make you feel like crap when you don't. ~ Michael Thomas Ford

History is the new poetry. ~ Thomas Carlyle

I watched what method Nature might take, with intention of subduing the symptom by treading in her footsteps. ~ Thomas Sydenham

What is honor, and riches, and the favor of creatures - so long as I lack the favor of God, the pardon of my sins, a saving interest in Christ, and the hope of glory! O Lord, give me these, or I die! Give me these, or else I shall eternally die! ~ Thomas Brooks

Then if children make so much trouble, why do people have 'em? ~ Thomas Hardy

So near the track of the stars are we,
That oft, on night's pale beams,
The distant sounds of their harmony
Come to our ears, like dreams.

The Moon, too, brings her world so nigh,
That when the night-seer looks
To that shadowless orb, in a vernal sky,
He can number its hills and brooks.

To the Sun god all our hearts and lyres,
By day, by night, belong;
And the breath we draw from his living fires
We give him back in song, ~ Thomas Bulfinch

Whenever God wakes in us, our thinking becomes clear - nothing is missing. ~ Thomas Aquinas

Avoid the philosophy and excuse that yesterday's luxuries have become today's necessities. They aren't necessities unless we ourselves make them such ... It is essential for us to live within our means. ~ Thomas S. Monson

It created a global platform that allowed more people to plug and play, collaborate and compete, share knowledge and share work, than anything we have ever seen in the history of the world. ~ Thomas Friedman

Whenever a new scholar came to out school, I used to confront him at recess with the following words: 'My name's Tom Bailey: what's your name?' If the name struck me favorably, I shook hands with the new pupil cordially; but if it didn't I would turn on my heel, for I was particular in this point. Such names as Higgins, Wiggins, and Spriggins were deadly afronts to my ear; while Lapgdon, Wallace, Blake, and the like, were passing words to my confidence and esteem. ~ Thomas Bailey Aldrich

You can't say enough about fishing. Though the sport of kings, it's just what the deadbeat ordered. ~ Thomas McGuane

We were awash in tiny attentions. Small gestures, words, empathies thought to be extinct came to life ... We discovered the color of each other's eyes. ~ Jerry Spinelli

If the highest aim of a captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever. ~ Thomas Aquinas

The band played up and down valleys still in those days unknown except to a few real-estate visionaries, little crossroads places where one day houses'd sprawl and the rates of human affliction in all categories zoom. ~ Thomas Pynchon

Love is more important than material possessions. ~ Thomas F. Wilson

Traditionally, sex has been a very private, secretive activity. Herein perhaps lies its powerful force for uniting people in a strong bond. As we make sex less secretive, we may rob it of its power to hold men and women together. ~ Thomas Szasz

You're amazing,' he would say, and I would feel like a buttercream with a hazelnut heart ~ Jerry Spinelli

You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. How discreet. Nobody cares who's in the limo. You see a limo go by, you know it's either some rich jerk or fifty prom kids with $1.75 each. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

What this country needs is a man who knows God other than by heresay. ~ Thomas Carlyle

It is in general more profitable to reckon up our defeats than to boast of our attainments. ~ Thomas Carlyle

This world is very dark, but in Heaven there is no darkness. ~ Thomas Kinkade