Hernias Quotes

Life is wonderful and strange...and it's also absolutely mundane and tiresome. It's hilarious and it's deadening. It's a big, screwed-up morass of beauty and change and fear and all our lives we oscillate between awe and tedium. I think stories are the place to explore that inherent weirdness; that movement from the fantastic to the prosaic that is life....

What interests me - and interests me totally - is how we as living human beings can balance the brief, warm, intensely complicated fingersnap of our lives against the colossal, indifferent, and desolate scales of the universe. Earth is four-and-a-half billion years old. Rocks in your backyard are moving if you could only stand still enough to watch. You get hernias because, eons ago, you used to be a fish. So how in the world are we supposed to measure our lives - which involve things like opening birthday cards, stepping on our kids' LEGOs, and buying toilet paper at Safeway - against the absolutely incomprehensible vastness of the universe?

How? We stare into the fire. We turn to friends, bartenders, lovers, priests, drug-dealers, painters, writers. Isn't that why we seek each other out, why people go to churches and temples, why we read books? So that we can find out if life occasionally sets other people trembling, too? ~ Anthony Doerr

After age twelve, birthdays should be as private as hernia surgery. ~ Erma Bombeck

HERNIAS ARE US Wait ... sorry. I'm dyslexic. I squinted and decided it probably read: HERMES EXPRESS ~ Rick Riordan

If any of you get hernias in this tug-of-war against the Army, I'll pay to get them fixed. ~ Robert E. Haebel

If you don't have a hernia yet then you're not pulling your own weight! ~ George Steinbrenner

The Great Depression had taken a physical toll on American manhood; even though the Army would accept just about anyone sane over 5 feet tall, 105 pounds in weight, possessing twelve or more of his own teeth, and free of flat feet, venereal disease and hernias, no fewer than 40 per cent of citizens failed these basic criteria. ~ Andrew Roberts

Is that so? Trauma in Hampstead? Let me guess, catastrophic hernias from making a mistake picking up a sack of money, reaching for a book on the top shelf and being bludgeoned by a misplaced gold bar. ~ Alen Mattich

Telling a writer to relax is like telling a man to relax while being prodded for a possible hernia. ~ William Zinsser

My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

Computers are scary. They're nightmares to fix, lose our stuff, and, on occasion, they crash, producing the blue screen of death. Steve Jobs knew this. He knew that computers were bulky and hernia-inducing and Darth Vader black. He understood the value of declarative design. ~ Wesley Morris

Human spines, knees, necks and arches paid the price. Studies of ancient skeletons indicate that the transition to agriculture brought about a plethora of ailments, such as slipped discs, arthritis and hernias. Moreover, the new agricultural tasks demanded so much time that people were forced to settle permanently next to their wheat fields. This completely changed their way of life. We did not domesticate wheat. It domesticated us. The word 'domesticate' comes from the Latin domus, which means 'house'. Who's the one living in a house? Not the wheat. It's the Sapiens. ~ Yuval Noah Harari