Pat Paulsen Quotes

I like to pour my wines for people. I watch their eyes, I can see what they'll like. Most people say they don't like dry wine because they haven't had a dry wine that's clean and fruity, instead of a big, oaky thing.

We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass.

If elected, I will win.

Why should old people get [Social Security]? They just sit around all day doing nothing.

I will not claim I will solve all the world's problems by myself. If I did, I'd have to run as a Republican or a Democrat.

Presidents tend to tinker, you know, and mess everything up.

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation. Among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really; it's sort of a brisk walk.

If you're old enough to be arrested, you're old enough to carry a gun.

Marijuana should be licensed and kept out of the hands of teenagers. It's too good for them.

In conclusion, you can see that there is a place for censors and we only wish that we could tell you where it is.

Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar.

In opposition to sex education: Let the kids today learn it where we did - in the gutter.

Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with the system, and that system is Richard Nixon.

I think we should just tip the government if it does a good job. Fifteen percent is the standard tip, isn't it?

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.

I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you untested and inexperienced - I only spent two years in television, never as a romantic lead or a song and dance man.

The Clinton Administration has turned out to be a boon. I knew that he would be wonderful, I just knew it from the beginning. From Arkansas? Shoot.

Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.

On the issue of inflation, I think I could solve it no matter how much money it took.

I once told Tommy Smothers, 'If I could just get the money and the women straightened out, the rest of my life would be easy.'

It is true that all of the current presidential candidates once denied that they had any intention of running. But the fact that I am also a liar, doesn't make me a candidate.

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.

I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.

We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for example; I'm sure that at one time it was a beautiful piece of land, and just look at the way we've let it go.

I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.

No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.

Actually, my wine was served at the White House twice. Reagan must have been asleep when he ordered it.

So I got into growing grapes, not realizing that there was a heck of a lot more to it than meets the eye.

If Iowa is the 'heart' land, what part of the human body is Los Angeles?

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

As I've always said: The future lies ahead.

I want to caucus in Iowa. I'll caucus all over the state. I don't caucus in California. You don't caucus where you live. It doesn't look good.

Many of you have asked why it's taken me so long to select a running mate. I have no intention of reaching into the political grab bag and grabbing any man to be my running mate. I'm going to reach in and grab a woman!

Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'

I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing windows down in Orange County when they called me up and said they wanted me to do their TV show.

I don't need adult supervision.