Joan Crawford Quotes

Sensitive husbands don't like second billing.

If you think the dress is right for you, where are you going to wear it? Does it fit into the kind of life you lead? (If you live in the country, what are you doing with all those town suits and hostess pajamas?) Supposing the dress is all right. If so, what shoes do you wear with it? What hat, gloves? Handbag, jewelry? […] So many women fall in love with a dress, bring it home, and find absolutely nothing that will go with it.

Hollywood is like life, you face it with the sum total of your equipment.

I think that the most important thing a woman can have- next to talent, of course- is her hairdresser.

Be afraid of nothing.

There's nothing wrong with my tits but I don't go around throwing them in people's faces.

Well, we can skip childhood because I didn't have any. Not one goddam moment on the Good Ship Lollipop.

You have to be self-reliant and strong to survive in this town. Otherwise you will be destroyed.

I find suggestion a hell of a lot more provocative than explicit detail. You didn't see Clark[Gable] and Vivien[leigh] rolling around in bed in Gone With The Wind, but you saw that shit eating grin on her face the next morning and you knew damned well she'd gotten properly laid.

I need sex for a clear complexion, but I'd rather do it for love.

If you start watching the oldies, you're in trouble. I feel ancient if "Grand Hotel" or "The Bride Wore Red" comes on. I have a sneaking regard for "Mildred Pierce", but the others do nothing for me.

There was a saying around MGM: "Norma Shearer got the productions, Greta Garbo supplied the art, and Joan Crawford made the money to pay for both".

Of all the actresses ... to me, only Faye Dunaway has the talent and the class and the courage it takes to make a real star.

Learn to breathe, learn to speak , but first ..learn to feel

[Clause in her will:] It is my intention to make no provision herein for my son Christopher or my daughter Christina for reasons which are well known to them.

While making "Possessed", I wept each morning on my drive to the studio, and I wept all the way back home. I found it impossible to sleep at night, so I'd lie in bed contemplating the future. I fear it with all my heart and soul even as I fear the dark.

I remember most clearly when a teenage Christopher spat in my face. He said, "I hate you". It's pretty hard to overlook that. I couldn't.

Closets should be completely emptied twice a year. […] Then inspect every item in your wardrobe. Things you're doubtful about are probably wrong. […] Give things away to someone they do compliment, or send them to charity or a thrift shop and resolve not to make the same mistake again.
That old saw, 'When in doubt, don't,' is never so true as when it comes to clothes. Or getting married.

If you've earned a position, be proud of it. Don't hide it. I want to be recognized. When I hear people say, 'There's Joan Crawford!' I turn around and say, 'Hi! How are you!'

Love is fire. but whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house,you can never tell.

I was a strict disciplinarian, perhaps too strict at times, but my God, without discipline what is life?

Any actress who appears in public without being well-groomed is digging her own grave.

My God, I'm four hundred years old and the most I can do is look three hundred.

If you have an ounce of common sense and one good friend you don't need an analyst.

NOURISH YOUR HAIR:
1. There are a number of 'kitchen recipes' for feeding hair. It needs the contents of your refrigerator just as much as your skin does. Right back to mayonnaise! Olive oil, eggs, and lemon juice. Massage the mixture into your hair, let it stay on for ten or fifteen minutes, then rinse it off with cool water. Cool - or you'll have scrambled eggs on your head.
2. For years I washed my daughter' hair with raw eggs, never soap or shampoo. I wet their hair fist and then rubbed in six whole eggs, one by one - a trick I learned from Katherine. Hepburn. (Four eggs will do for short hair, but theirs was long.) Some people use eggs beaten up with a jigger of rum; others mix an egg with red wine.
3. Hot oils is good for dry hair. Apply it with the fingertips and then wrap your head in a warm towel. Keep changing the oil for an hour, to keep it hot and penetrating. Then shampoo.
4. I believe in brushing. I made my girls give their hair the old-fashioned hundred strokes every night, using two brushes, and bending forward from the waist. It stimulates hair grows, and the rush of blood to the face is an added benefit. I pull my hair gently to encourage growth too.

If I weren't a Christian Scientist, and I saw "Trog" advertised on a marquee across the street, I'd think I'd contemplate suicide.

It has been said that on screen I personified the American woman.

If I can't be me, I don't want to be anybody

Don't fuck with me, fellas. This ain't my first time at the rodeo.

I'd like to think every director I've worked with has fallen in love with me, I know Dorothy Arzner did.

I was born in front of a camera and really don't know anything else.

I have always known what I wanted, and that was beauty ... in every form.

No wire hangers!

They were grooming Doris Day to take over the top spot. Jack L. Warner asked me to play her sister in one picture. I said, "Come on, Jack. No one could ever believe that I would have Doris Day for a sister."

My tears speak for me.

They [best dressed women] don't want to look like their daughters. They want their own individual brand of chic. […] The cut and fit must be exactly right, and they are willing to spend hours in the fitting room to make sure of it. They spend money, too. But if any one of them went broke tomorrow she'd rather choose one perfectly cut expensive dress and make it do for years than buy a dozen cheap ones.

Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite ta a party.

Mr. Cukor is a hard task-master, a fine director and he took me over the coals giving me the roughest time I have ever had. And I am eternally grateful.

The intelligent woman adapts herself to fashion, but never to fad. She knows what is best for her, and her way of life, and sticks to it. She raises and lowers her hemline - with discretion - but she goes on with her timeless dresses made with the basic lines and fabrics that flatter HER, define HER life style. She's secure, and so she can be an elegant individual.

I had read the criticisms of me and my movies and they were discerning. They said that Crawford needs a new deal, and they asked if I was doomed to explore forever the emotional misfortunes of the super-sexed modern young woman. And so, to break away from the pattern, I wanted to do "The Gorgeous Hussy". Selznick laughed at me. 'You can't do a costume picture. You're too modern.' But I begged and begged and begged, and so they let me do it. I was totally miscast.

1. Find your own style and have the courage to stick to it.
2. Choose your clothes for your way of life.
3. Make your wardrobe as versatile as an actress. It should be able to play many roles.
4. Find your happiest colours - the ones that make you feel good.
5. Care for your clothes, like the good friends they are!

I used to wash my hands every ten minutes. I couldn't step out of the house unless I had gloves on. I wouldn't smoke a cigarette unless I opened the pack myself, and I would never use another cigarette out of that pack if someone else had touched it.

Dammit ... Don't you dare ask God to help me.

I think a marvelous stunt would be to have your best friend (or the most critical acquaintance) take some candid color snapshots of you from all angles, dressed just as you usually appear at, say, six in the evening. The same hairdo, the same makeup, and if possible the same expression on your face. Be honest! Be sure to have her take the rear views, too.
There ought to be some other shots of you wearing your best going-out-to-dinner dress, or your favorite bridge-with-the-girls costume - hat, gloves, bag, and costume jewelry. Everything. Then have that roll of film developed and BLOWN UP. You can't see much in a tiny snapshot. An eight-by-ten will show you the works - and you probably won't be very happy with it. Sit down and take a long look at that strange woman.
Is she today's with-it person - elegant, poised, groomed, glowing with health? Or is she a plump copy of Miss 1950? Is she sleek, or bumpy in the wrong places? How is her posture? Does she look better from the front than from the back? Does she stand gracefully? […] Feet together or one slightly in front of the other, is the most graceful stance.
[…]
I always pin my bad notices on my mirror. How about keeping those eight-by-ten candid shots around your dressing room for a while as you dress?

I love playing bitches. There's a lot of bitch in every woman - a lot in every man.

Sure, I'd play an ape if they asked me. Maurice Evans did.

Choose your clothes for your way of life.

Send me flowers while I'm alive. They won't do me a damn bit of good after I'm dead.

[To the mother of two unruly children in a restaurant after the woman said she really didn't know what to do with her children:] Have you tried infanticide?

Life deals from the bottom, sometimes, doesn't it?

All that time hanging around the sets, watching Norma Shearer make the most of her three expressions, was a help.