Jean Shepherd Quotes

Semicolon, you dolt!

That reminds me of something that happened to me when I was a kid.

I had been an eyewitness to a truly historic moment in American pop culture.

I had woven a tapestry of obscenity that as far as I know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.

The reality of what we really are is often times found in the small snips, way down at the bottom of things.

There are fewer things more thrilling in life than lumpy letters. That rattle.

Manhattan cabs are born old.

The Bumpuses were so low down on the evolutionary totem pole that they weren't even included in Darwin's famous family tree. They had inbred and ingrown and finally emerged from the Kentucky hills like some remnant of Attila the Hung's barbarian horde. Flick said that they had webbed feet and only three toes. It might have been true.

I've met them down in the Cost and Accounting Department, clean-shaven and in white collars. They can't see a damn thing ridiculous about themselves ... only about you.

Preparing to go to school was like getting ready for extended deep sea diving.

A man today never feels so alive as when he is hurtling from one point to another on the azimuth.

Some men are Baptists, others Catholics. My father was an Oldsmobile man.

The truth will always have a market.

Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.

What the hell time is it? muttered the old man. He was always an aggressive sleeper. Sleep was one of the things he did best, and he loved it. Some look upon sleep as an unfortunate necessary interruption of life; but there are others who hold that sleep is life, or at least one of the more fulfilling aspects of it, like eating or sex. Any time my old man's sleep was interrupted, he became truly dangerous.

Being a White Sox fan meant measuring victory in terms of defeat. A 6-5 defeat was a good day. A big rally was Wally Moses doubling down the right- field line.