George S. Kaufman Famous Quotes
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The kind of doctor I want is one who when he's not examining me is home studying medicine.
I've never had any complaints yet!
God finally caught his eye.
At dramatic rehearsals, the only author that's better than an absent one is a dead one.
Lawyers-they get together all day and say to each other, "What can we postpone next?" The only thing they don't postpone, of course, is their bill, which arrives regularly. You've heard about the man who got the bill from his lawyer which said, "For crossing the street to speak to you and discovering it was not you, twelve dollars."
Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye.
KIRBY: A man can't give up his business.
GRANDPA: Why not? You've got all the money you need. You can't take it with you.
There was laughter in the back of the theater, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there.
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Penny, why don't you write a play about Ism-Mania?
Penny Sycamore: Ism-Mania?
Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Yeah, sure, you know, Communism, Faschism, Voodoo-ism, everybody's got an -ism these days.
Penny Sycamore: Oh
[laughs]
Penny Sycamore: I thought it was some kind of itch or something.
Grandpa Martin Vanderhoff: Well, it's just as catching. When things go a little bad nowadays, you go out, get yourself an -ism and you're in business.
Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch.
I didn't like the play, but than I saw it under adverse conditions – the curtain was up.
Satire is what closes on Saturday night.
I understand your new play is full of single entendres.
