Christopher Healy Quotes

Mere words cannot defeat a true hero. Unless they happen to be the words to some sort of Instant Death Spell. Magic is scary.

When facing unbeatable odds, just think of yourself as unbeatably odd. (The Hero's Guide to Being a Hero)

Accidents happen. I will, um ... I will pay to have your house rebuilt."
"And my barn?" a woman called out.
Liam sighed. "Yes, and your barn, too."
"And my golden carousel?" shouted another man. "Will you pay for that?"
Liam raised an eyebrow. "The giant smashed your golden carousel?"
"No," said the man. "I'd just like to have a golden carousel.

You're a way-getter-inner, I can tell.

Sometimes a hero can be found in the most unexpected of places. That's when you must say to him, "Get out of my kitchen, silly! Don't you have some monsters to fight?" - The Hero's Guide to Being a Hero

Look," Liam said, "sometimes being a hero isn't about getting the glory. It's about doing what needs to be done.

It is the villains who covet treasure, not the heroes. Unless the treasure in question is a really snazzy belt buckle, in which case, who can resist? - THE HERO'S GUIDE TO BEING A HERO

Duncan,we're still in prison," Frederic said dryly. "You're not going to see anything except this cell. Which has spiders, by the way. Have you noticed the spiders?" "Indeed I have: Carmen, Zippy, and Dr. T," Duncan said.

Listen dear hearts to the tale I now sing, / of bad guys from Dar and something something!" He stopped and scratched his chin. "I should probably only use one 'something.

Everybody, listen!" he shouted to the far-off crowds. "Rundark has super-powerful magical bombs. And they will be headed straight toward those giant vision orbs you're watching. You need to get as far away from those orbs as possible!"
And all around the Thirteen Kingdoms, seven people turned away from the orbs and fled. Yes, that's right: seven. The thousands of others stayed glued to the action. They'd discovered a new form of moving-picture entertainment, and nothing was going to tear them away

Oh, by the way, you're going to have to turn over some of your land to the trolls.)

It's still a cowl, Frederic grumbled (few things could cause him to summon up his inner courage like improper word usage).

By almost any assessment, the giant was a terrible artist. But he was lucky enough to settle in Jangleheim, a nation whose people had notoriously poor taste. Which just goes to show: There's a place for everybody.

Wow," a man said. "The song made you sound like an average loser, but in reality you were a horribly pathetic loser.

I'll show Dunky he's not the only one in the family who can rush foolishly into danger!

Wild card, got it," Duncan said. "Just like in Crazy Eights. I can be a diamond; I can be a spade. Whatever you need me to be, I'm that thing. That is so me.

Look, sometimes being a hero isn't about getting the glory. It's about doing what needs to be done -Liam

Glances were exchanged around the table. There were some uneasy winces, a couple of ambivalent shrugs, a few determined nods, and one delighted giggle (but only because Duncan had spotted another funny caterpillar).

Once you've been squashed by a giant, a troll doesn't even seem nearly as heavy.

Get him now?" Duncan asked. He looked at the sword in his hand. Unsure of what he should do, he tossed the weapon at the giant. The sword flipped through the air a couple of times and landed softly on the grass only a few feet away.
"That was the most pathetic thing I've ever seen," said Gustav.
Duncan stepped forward to retrieve his sword, tripped over his belt, hit his head on a rock, and knocked himself out cold.
"I spoke to soon," said Gustav. "That was the most pathetic thing I've ever seen.

When writing down a plan, I suggest numbering the steps. But just in case your plan falls into enemy hands, make sure you number them in the wrong order. - The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle

Hey! Someone in the crowd is carrying a 'Duncan the Daring' sign!" Duncan shouted. "Oh, it's Frank," he added, less enthusiastically.

On still another road, a green-haired man wobbled by on peppermint-stick stilts; a fiery-plumed bird of paradise perched on his shoulder. But he's not in this story, so don't pay any attention to him.

I'm Liam of Erinthia. I'm here to rescue you ... And You are not Cinderella. You are a tree branch wrapped in a sheet

No one is defined by a single act," Frederic said. "Whether it was years ago or weeks ago. We're all given chances to change, to make up for things we've done wrong. It's how we handle those opportunities that really matters.

No, Princes Charming," Duncan cheerfully corrected. "'Prince' is the noun; that's what gets pluralized. 'Charming' is an adjective; you can't add an S to it like that.

And so the Thirteen Kingdoms were liberated from Darian rule. Well, all except Eïsborg, which people always tend to forget about. It's very far north. And barely anybody lives there, anyway. We even forget to put it on the map in the first book. The fifteen Darians stationed there would end up sitting around for two and half years wondering why their vision orb never turned on anymore.

The people need a hero. But all they've got is . . . me.

Gustav," he said, "I'm proud of you. You can relax now.

(during which Gustav was so overwhelmed by emotion that he actually gave Frederic a pat on the back),

That," Liam said, "it'll be a lot to live up to." Frederic smiled. "So let's live up to it.