Abigail Barnette Quotes

The cancer bubble. It's almost like he's not here. Like he's on pause, and my life with him is on pause, and we're just waiting to see if somebody is going to hit play again or just stop the thing entirely.

It was like he'd sprung fully-formed from my eighteen-year-old fantasies, the hot History teacher who just couldn't help himself.

I didn't have a lot of fighting experience, but I would punch an octopus if I had to, to save a life.

If something happens and you should cry about it, it's better to laugh and get the fuck over it.

I could only imagine the prenup I'd have to sign: In the event of a divorce, Mrs. Scaife- Elwood will receive eleventy- bajillion dollars and Mr. Elwood will continue to blame himself for the dissolution of the marriage and the ruining of Mrs. Scaife- Elwood's life, in perpetuity, even though it's probably not his fault.

Nobody can control their emotional reactions, we can only control our actions, and my current action was to slap my jealousy in the face and shove her in a vat of shut the fuck up.

We'd spent eleven hours together. That had to be some kind of record for a second date that didn't involve a sleepover or a kidnapping.

But the best part of catching Neil in the shower was, hands down, the loud, awful singing.

Parenting fucked you up.

People are darkened rooms, and each person they choose to include in their lives is a beam of light, uncovering some new, previously hidden part of them.

I love you so much that I regret having memories that don't include you.

Yes, one of the benefits of being embarrassingly rich is that you find out if you have syphilis much earlier than the average peasant would.

Call me old fashioned, but I kind of enjoy the so-called 'walk of shame.' It's really more a 'walk of pride because I got some.

You don't want to get in that line ... it's fucking long