Wurms Quotes

Don't follow your heart if you can't keep a beat ~ Neil Leckman

I think what I need to do is stay awake while I'm sleeping so I can see what I'm dreaming better!! ~ Neil Leckman

Bad answers for employment questions:
Employer: I see here that you worked for the state for three years. Why did you leave that job?
My parole was granted ~ Neil Leckman

I'm not sure if it's possible, but if it is I have a life contract with a rubber glove clause. This means almost any social interaction will involve the placing on, or removal of rubber gloves. That 'snap' means the fun, whatever type it may be, has begun.
Doctors? OK, dentists? OK, clerk at Walmart? WHAT!!
The Clerk begins to pull on the gloves as other shoppers suddenly find other open lanes.
**SNAP**! ~ Neil Leckman

You know what they say. One man's joke is another man's brother ~ Neil Leckman

How about a TV show about vampire plastic surgeons called, "Suck and Tuck"? ~ Neil Leckman

They say you don't know what you don't know until you know that you don't know it. ~ Neil Leckman

If you sleep with one eye open are your dreams only half as good as everyone elses? ~ Neil Leckman

Why is ground round sold in a square package? ~ Neil Leckman

When I was little and my mom got mad at me she would always say, "You know you can be replaced".
I have often wondered if I was. ~ Neil Leckman

If I were a candy bar I'd want to be a snicker, because then I'd have the last laugh!! ~ Neil Leckman

Remember, never apply too much torque or you'll bust your nuts!! ~ Neil Leckman

At a long meeting a man next to me, British I hope, said, "Man, I'd kill for a fag about now" I chuckled when everyone moved away from him but me.
"Why did everyone do that?"
"They say that smoking can kill, and they're just being cautious"
"What about that fellow there smiling at me?"
"Don't know, maybe he's a chain smoker ... ~ Neil Leckman

We started our journey across the waistlands by folowing the enormous belt!! ~ Neil Leckman

Place the proper tool in front of the right person at the correct moment and anything is possible ~ Neil Leckman, Wurms

Thrice damned she howls like Cerberus to the night
Guarding virtues that lie like forgotten stains
On oaken floors that pave the willow lined paths of the past
That lead to a meadow filled with the detritus of wasted love
Rotting under a forgotten sun that no longer shines
In a heart gone cold therein lies the haste of anger. ~ Neil Leckman

My oldest son used to say his stomach had angries when he felt sick.
I always pictured an all night fight club for finger foods!! ~ Neil Leckman

Neil Leckman
I had a friend once that told me when we die and get to the pearly gates we are admitted based on our deeds.
1 good deed is a step forward
1 bad deed is two steps back.
By the time he's through with you I'm not sure you'll even be able to see the gates!! ~ Neil Leckman

I think that last batch of sea monkeys ate my cat!!! ~ Neil Leckman

Sometimes I wake up and wonder if those chalk outlines they have at murder scenes get together for holiday parties ... ~ Neil Leckman

People do not realize just how much effort it takes to do a half ass job properly. A lot of time is spend in choosing which cheek will do the job best then whether that cheek is available on that day. Odds are 50/50 that half assed will be half of half assed or quarter assed, which doesn't have the same ring to it at all ...
Mediocrity isn't so easy is it? ~ Neil Leckman

The link to my online art portfolio for a chance to be shown in Brooklyn.

https://cheechwizard.see.me/ ~ Neil Leckman

Has anybody ever written a horror pop-up book? The center of the book pops up and opens the gate to the elder gods. Of course you'll want to shrink wrap these books because you want people to buy them before they get sucked into another dimension. ~ Neil Leckman

I flunked out of mime school. I could never hear what the instructor was saying!!! ~ Neil Leckman

Bad questions at employment interviews:
Is your drug test graded on a curve? ~ Neil Leckman