Jarod Lucas Quotes

Young people don't have a fantasy life anymore, not the way we did. All they've got is Kojak and Dirty Harry. There's all these kids running around wanting to be killer cops. ~ George Lucas

Love is patient and love is kind. Damn! Why'd it have to be the two qualities I wasn't born with? ~ Jarod Kintz

A great gift would be a map full of evacuation routes for the city, subtly telling the recipient to get the hell out of town. ~ Jarod Kintz

I want to create a 3-4 deal - buy three for the price of four. Offer valid for any product but love, which is one for the price of two only. ~ Jarod Kintz

I'll leave the door cracked, because cracked is better than broken. ~ Jarod Kintz

I am the Wakeboard of Love, if you catch my drift. ~ Jarod Kintz

The mobster came by my establishment and said I needed protection. "Nope," I replied, "I've already got protection." Then I showed him how I wear a rubber glove over my penis, with my shaft sliding perfectly in the pinky finger slot. ~ Jarod Kintz

A guy I grew up with recently died. I attended his funeral, but only because I thought there'd be free food afterwards. I brought to-go boxes with me. You know, to remember him for as long as I could. ~ Jarod Kintz

The truth is the only thing worth having, and, in a civilized life, like ours, where so many risks are removed, facing it is almost the only courageous thing left to do. ~ Edward Verrall Lucas

Flowers said, "I got two bottles of water in the car."
"Get them. And get your gun," Lucas said.
"The gun? You think?"
"No. I just like to see you wearing the fuckin' gun for a change," Lucas said. "C'mon, let's get moving. ~ John Sandford

Before I became a film major, I was very heavily into social science, I had done a lot of sociology, anthropology, and I was playing in what I call social psychology, which is sort of an offshoot of anthropology/sociology - looking at a culture as a living organism, why it does what it does. ~ George Lucas

You think too much," Lucas said to me on the banks of the White River the next day.
"I think too much?" I asked, my voice raised.
"Yeah. You can't just sit back and relax without analyzing every little thing," he said.
"That's what you do, Lucas!" I said.
"Only sometimes," he said back.
"Just as much as I do, I'd say."
"Whatever. That's not the point. The point is, you - sorry, we need to learn how to just calm down and take everything in before trying to pick it all apart."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because we always end up ruinin' it before it begins. ~ John Corey Whaley

Is it better to win over the hearts and minds of the people, or imprison them and torture them into telling you they love you? These are the tough decisions a future tyrant, I mean President, may have to make. ~ Jarod Kintz

Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence. ~ Jarod Kintz

A brick is a duplicate. It is a physical copy of the idea for a brick. And what's the big idea? A brick represents unity, a notion of hey, let's build something together. Like a house, for example. And after you help me build my house, I'll use a leftover brick and smash you over the skull so that not only will I not have to pay you for your labor, but I won't have to pay the butcher for meat, because with your sturdy body, I'm sure I'll have enough food to feed my family for a year. ~ Jarod Kintz

If you can tune into the fantasy life of an 11-year-old girl, you can make a fortune in this business. ~ George Lucas

I have assigned myself a Hooray Factor of five. This is the top level, and is the only level that has a physical representation - that of a high five. But don't try to give me a high five, because I'm the only person in the world with a Hooray Factor of five. So until my clones get here, I'll just have to continue to high five my reflection in the mirror. ~ Jarod Kintz

Just got done giving my cat a haircut and eating dinner. The two events are unrelated, though I might cough up a hairball later on. ~ Jarod Kintz

I was part of a focus group once, but to be honest, I couldn't concentrate. ~ Jarod Kintz

I'm a very recent convert to the gay scene. I went to a party a couple of years ago and met a very nice man who took me under his wing and started taking me out to clubs. It was a revelation. ~ Matt Lucas

I object to that object that's made of bronze and shaped like my clone. It should be made of gold, and shaped like me. ~ Jarod Kintz

Life seems so am/pm. But really it's not as balanced as all that. ~ Jarod Kintz

If my skin wasn't flesh, but was tinfoil, I'd probably not only be left-handed, but I'd be a leftover. I guess the real question is, Would you rather make love to me or make dinner? ~ Jarod Kintz

People instantly assume you can't have a platonic friendship with someone of the opposite sex. I think this may be specific to L.A. - or America. ~ Isabel Lucas

On the frozen tundra, I milked a cow and pumped out ice cream. Strangely, it had chunks of strawberries in it. ~ Jarod Kintz

Her and I, we have a two chairs and a table kind of love. You should pull up a feeling and have a seat. ~ Jarod Kintz

As an atheist hates Christmas, I hate the fourth of July. ~ Jarod Kintz

Don't try blowing smoke up my ass, because you'll find my anus blocked - by a cigar. ~ Jarod Kintz

A blanket could be used to tell you I love you. You know I do. And I'm not just saying that because I'm shivering. ~ Jarod Kintz

Lucas, I never wanted children. I just want to be CEO. I want money, power, and on occasion, sex ~ Norian F. Love

Cryptozoology 101: It's an exciting class because it's mythological, and may or may not exist. ~ Jarod Kintz

Water always flows downhill. So does my love. Are you prepared for a flood? You'd better build an ark. ~ Jarod Kintz

I'll leave a note in the lobby that says, "Moved. 315." You had a meeting with me at 3:00 in room 315. The number 315 confuses you, so you wonder, "Did the room get moved, or the time?" Both did. You're to meet me at 3:33 in room 333. ~ Jarod Kintz

When I told her my love would stop her tears from falling, she started laughing. She laughed so hard she started crying. Damn. Double damn! ~ Jarod Kintz

Love is a lot like coffee, I once thought as I suckled on a milky nipple. But I was one at the time, so what did I know about coffee? ~ Jarod Kintz

When someone asks me if I was born in a barn, I always give them a long face. And a whinny. ~ Jarod Kintz

Love says hello, and hate says goodbye. Your mom also says hello. ~ Jarod Kintz

Freedom was an odd feeling after being deprived of it for so long; he didn't know what to do with it. ~ Lucas Schmidt

But if she could be here, she probably wouldn't be here. But that won't stop me from ordering for two, and if I can't eat it all I'll take the leftovers home so I can heat up my loneliness and enjoy it for dinner tomorrow night. ~ Jarod Kintz

Abby, you can't deny your feelings any longer. At least I know I can't. I've done it long enough. I want you. Please don't push me away. ~ Annie Brewer

Derek's. Lucas'. Ben's. It's beyond me what I must do to make them realize that I'm neither object nor possession. I don't belong to any of them. ~ Bella Forrest

I have a cigarette for a penis. Except when I get sexually aroused it turns into a cigar. Would you care to hold my lighter? ~ Jarod Kintz

Every time I work with real Southern actors ... we immediately go into white trash and we just get along really well within one night. ~ Lucas Till