If You Have To Criticize Quotes

If you have to criticize, do it with deep understanding and love. ~ Debasish Mridha

It wasn't always going to be morning, and darkness would come around again. The sun would rise, and then the sun would set. And there you were in the darkness again. If you didn't whistle, the quiet and the dark would swallow you up. The thing is, I didn't know how to whistle. I guessed I was going to have to learn. ~ Benjamin Alire Saenz

Ethan's parents constantly told him how brainy he was. "You're so smart! You can do anything, Ethan. We are so proud of you, they would say every time he sailed through a math test. Or a spelling test. Or any test. With the best of intentions, they consistently tethered Ethan's accomplishment to some innate characteristic of his intellectual prowess. Researchers call this "appealing to fixed mindsets." The parents had no idea that this form of praise was toxic.

　　Little Ethan quickly learned that any academic achievement that required no effort was the behavior that defined his gift. When he hit junior high school, he ran into subjects that did require effort. He could no longer sail through, and, for the first time, he started making mistakes. But he did not see these errors as opportunities for improvement. After all, he was smart because he could mysteriously grasp things quickly. And if he could no longer grasp things quickly, what did that imply? That he was no longer smart. Since he didn't know the ingredients making him successful, he didn't know what to do when he failed. You don't have to hit that brick wall very often before you get discouraged, then depressed. Quite simply, Ethan quit trying. His grades collapsed.


What happens when you say, 'You're so smart'

　　Research shows that Ethan's unfortunate story is typical of kids regularly praised for some fixed characteristic. If you praise your child this way, three things are sta ~ John Medina

I have to go to her, Lucan. For my own sanity, if nothing else. If I stay here, I'm not sure what good I'd be, to tell you the truth. She's the only thing that's held me together in a very long time. I'm a wreck for this woman, my friend. She owns me now. ~ Lara Adrian

She doesn't have any terrific talent for acting, but that's how it appears to go. People don't do what they have a talent for but what the preoccupation leads to. If they're good at auto-repairing they have to sing Don Giovanni; if they can sing they have to be architects; and if they have a gift for architecture they wish to become school superintendents or abstract painters or anything else. Anything! It's a spite. It's having to prove full and ultimate self-sufficiency or some such monster dream that you don't need anyone else to do these things for you. ~ Saul Bellow

You may have succeeded in shutting down the attack simulation, girl, but it was by luck alone, not skill. I would die of shock if you managed to do anything useful again for a long time
This is the Marcus that Tobias knows. The one who knows right where to hit to cause the most damage. ~ Veronica Roth

If you have stumbled or even been lost for a time, you can move forward with faith and not wander to and fro in the world any longer. ~ Boyd K. Packer

It's a miracle the king managed to resist executing you until yesterday." "Tell me he's in a rage the likes of which have never been seen before." "If you listen hard enough, you can actually hear him shrieking from the palace. ~ Sarah J. Maas

The man who had abused him would ask, "I abused you yesterday, why did you not reply yesterday? You are very strange." No one waits for a second when you abuse him. He retorts immediately."
Junnaid answered, "My master taught me not to hurry in anything. Take some time. I must wait a little when someone insults me. If I were to give an immediate answer, the heat of the happening would catch hold of me; the smoke would blind my eyes. So I have to wait and let the cloud pass. When twenty-four hours have passed and the skies are clear again, then I can give my reply in full consciousness. Now I realize how tricky my guru was. Because I have never been able to answer my opponents since then."
Is it possible to hold on to anger for twenty-four hours? It is impossible to maintain it for twenty-four minutes or even twenty-four seconds. The truth is that, even if you hold back and watch for a single second, the anger vanishes.
But you do not wait even for a moment. A person abuses you – as if someone switches the button, and the fan starts whirring. There is not the slightest gap between the two, no distance! And you pride yourself in your alertness! You have no control of yourself. How can an unconscious person be master of himself? Anybody can push the button and goad him into action. Someone comes and flatters you, and you are filled with joy; you are happy. Someone insults you, you are full of tears. Are you your own master or anyone can manipulate you? You are the ~ Osho

So many people think buckets of money will solve or eliminate the stresses in life. Such is not the case. More is more and less is less. In other words, the more you bring into your life, the more you have to maintain. If you are accumulating things, the initial purchase is just the beginning. In addition to any debt you took on to make the purchase, this new item you now own may need to be stored, dusted, watered, cleaned, oiled, tightened, filled, emptied, refilled, tuned, insured, renewed - or any number of other time-consuming (and possibly expensive) maintenance chores. If you avoid the purchase altogether, you cut out the chain reaction of obligations to this thing. So ~ Cristin Frank

If I had to sum up the gospel I should have to tell you certain facts: Jesus, the Son of God, became man; he was born of the virgin Mary; lived a perfect life; was falsely accused of men; was crucified, dead, and buried; the third day he rose again from the dead; he ascended into heaven and sitteth on the right hand of God; from whence he shall also come to judge the quick and the dead. This is one of the elementary truths of our gospel; we believe in the resurrection of the dead, the final judgment, and the life everlasting. ~ Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Rarely, if ever, do they intently consider the life to come. Regarding this, C. S. Lewis writes, "If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this. ~ Francis Chan

An act of leadership is to say that whatever's happening now is not good enough and suggest or show that we can do better. If you don't have that, then you don't have the catalyst for continuous improvement. ~ David J. Anderson

Child, I am telling you that you don't have to do anything to be special." She leaned forward a little more and patted my arm to call my attention. When I turned to look, her eyes met mine with a gaze of pure love. "You are already special," she went on. "You don't have to get an education to be special, but you can if you want to. You don't have to cure cancer to be special, but if you do the world would be grateful. God don't make nobody who ain't special. It means we are all equal in his love. There ain't no way around it. If you believe that love is real, then we are all equal in it. ~ Karlyle Tomms

If you want me in the Hall of Fame put me in because of some contributions that I have made to country music. ~ Buck Owens

If you want to keep on being relevant as a director, I think you have to embrace the times. And with the times come technologies and formats. ~ Alfonso Cuaron

The work of a believer is responsive, not initiative. We respond to God's love because we must. Like Peter, when called to do the impossible, we do not look to our limitations, but we ponder this: "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life" (John 6:68). Owen says this: "Mortification of any sin must be by a supply of grace. Of ourselves, we cannot do it."31 The gospel does not take us halfway there. God takes us all the way home. But if what you seek is grace apart from Christ's blood, you will never get home. ~ Rosaria Champagne Butterfield

if you already have genes predisposed to an autoimmune disease, and you eat grains and legumes, you're putting your hand on a trigger, and it's only a matter of time before you pull it and allow the damaged genes to rule. ~ Nicole Swenson

He pokes his katana through the
side of the cube and follows it through the wall and out the other side.
This is a hack. It is really based on a very old hack, a loophole that he found
years ago when he was trying to graft the sword-fighting rules onto the existing
Metaverse software. His blade doesn't have the power to cut a hole in the wall
-- this would mean permanently changing the shape of someone else's building --
but it does have the power to penetrate things. Avatars do not have that power.
That is the whole purpose of a wall in the Metaverse; it is a structure that
does not allow avatars to penetrate it. But like anything else in the
Metaverse, this rule is nothing but a protocol, a convention that different
computers agree to follow. In theory, it cannot be ignored. But in practice,
it depends upon the ability of different computers to swap information very
precisely, at high speed, and at just the right times. And when you are
connected to the system over a satellite uplink, as Hiro is, out here on the
Raft, there is a delay as the signals bounce up to the satellite and back down.
That delay can be taken advantage of, if you move quickly and don't look back.
Hiro passes right through the wall on the tail end of his all-penetrating
katana. ~ Neal Stephenson

How can you have such faith in me?" he asked hoarsely. "How can you believe in me when I've given you no reason?"
"You've given me plenty of reasons, but there's only one that matters. I love you, Oliver. I can't help myself. That is my reason."
He began to shake, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"I love you," she repeated as she kissed his cheek. "I love you." She kissed the other cheek, now damp, though she wasn't sure whether from her tears or his. "I love you so much." She brushed his lips with hers.
He held her back to search her face. "God help you if that is a lie," he said in an aching voice. "Because those words have sealed your fate. I'll never let you go, now. ~ Sabrina Jeffries

Diana: "I wish I were rich, and I could spend the whole summer at a hotel, eating ice cream and chicken salad."
Anne: "You know something, Diana? We are rich. We have sixteen years to our credit, and we both have wonderful imaginations. We should be as happy as queens."
[gestures to the setting sun]
Anne Shirley: "Look at that. You couldn't enjoy its loveliness more if you had ropes of diamonds. ~ L.M. Montgomery

I understood these things intellectually, the way I understand that the world is round or that gravity is a universal force. But it took me a long time to truly grasp what Dr. Summer had told me many times before: "To survive a violent childhood, you created aspects of your consciousness that held information about the violence away from you. That's why you remember it as if it happened to someone else. You have many ways of being you. ~ Olga Trujillo

Before the earthquake, medicine was hard to find. When you went to the hospital, you had to bring your own. In this country, you don't go there until the pain becomes unbearable. Otherwise, you don't consider yourself sick. It's better not to be sick if you can't pay for the medicine. That way, you go from bring in good health to being dead. Illness is a luxury you can't afford if you don't have the means. So you die without ever having been sick. ~ Dany Laferriere

You have to work at it if you want to be a good smoker. Especially today with all the non-smoking world constantly harassing you. ~ Kinky Friedman

If you want to marry me, here's what you'll have to do:
You must learn how to make a perfect chicken-dumpling stew.
And you must sew my holey socks,
And soothe my troubled mind,
And develop the knack for scratching my back,
And keep my shoes spotlessly shined.
And while I rest you must rake up the leaves,
And when it is hailing and snowing
You must shovel the walk ... and be still when I talk,
And-hey-where are you going? ~ Shel Silverstein

I still think that if you're excited about something, you have to work at it. ~ Ezra Koenig

You can't worry about ageing because that's the worst thing. If you start, then you just keep finding more things you don't like, and then you're finished. There are a lot of things I could have done to my face, but it would never stop. ~ China Machado

Privacy is absolutely essential to maintaining a free society. The idea that is at the foundation of the notion of privacy is that the citizen is not the tool or instrument of government - but the reverse ... If you have no privacy, it will tend to follow that you have no political freedom ... ~ Benno C. Schmidt, Jr.

The writer Warwick Cairns calculated that if you wanted your child to be kidnapped and held overnight by a stranger, you'd have to leave the child outside and unattended for 750,000 years.211 ~ Steven Pinker

Weight issues, race issues will always be there and if you allow them to get to you and you allow them to affect you then yes they affect you. But my thing is I have so many other things to worry about I can't worry about other people's perception of me. ~ Octavia Spencer

Even if you are angry and you have reason to be angry, that doesn't give you license to be cruel. We have to take responsibility for ourselves and the way we act. ~ Christi Paul

If you have money, power, and status today, it is due to the century and place in which you were born, to your talents and capacities and health, none of which you earned. In short, all your resources are in the end the gift of God. ~ Timothy Keller

If you had saved $20 per week for just ten weeks, you could have bought the scratch-and-dent model off the floor at the same Rent-to-Own store for $200! Or you could have bought a used set out of the classifieds or online. It pays to look past the weekend and suffer through going to the Laundromat with your quarters. When you think short term, you always set yourself up for being ripped off by a predatory lender. If the Red-Faced Kid ("I want it, and I want it now!") rules your life, you will stay broke! ~ Dave Ramsey

I hated you," she continued, "because you have done nothing more than abide by rules that every gentlewoman follows every day of her life. Yet for this prosaic feat, you are feted and cosseted as if you were a hero." She felt nothing as she spoke, but still her voice shook. Her hands were trembling, too. "I hate that if a woman missteps once, she is condemned forever, and yet the men who follow you can tie a simple ribbon to their hats after years of debauchery, and pass themselves off as upright pillars of society. ~ Courtney Milan

100,000 soldiers are reported to have died in the Iraqi war. If you count 100 relatives of each soldier, it means that practically there are millions of people who now have antagonism toward the white people of America. These Arab people will remember this country whose main religion is Christianity, who came and destroyed all Iraqi facilities and industry. They won't easily forget this. ~ Sun Myung Moon

Don't say it if you're not going to live it. And if you're going to live it, you don't have to say it anyway. ~ Craig D. Lounsbrough

I think if you ask people why they watch me, there would be some common thread among all of them that I'm somewhat of an awkward older sister. I have a teen, mostly female demographic. How that happened, I don't know. But I think they see me as some sort of bizarre role model, and I'll keep trying to do that for them. ~ Grace Helbig

When you control a man's thinking you do not have to worry about his actions. You do not have to tell him not to stand here or go yonder. He will find his 'proper place' and will stay in it. You do not need to send him to the back door. He will go without being told. In fact, if there is no back door, he will cut one for his special benefit. His education makes it necessary. ~ Carter G. Woodson

When you looked closely at anything, you could almost faint, Jules thought, although you had to look closely if you wanted to have any knowledge at all in life. ~ Meg Wolitzer

If you have two loaves of bread, keep one to nourish the body, but sell the other to buy hyacinths for the soul. ~ Herodotus