Emery Lord Quotes

But what I really need is to fucking SCREAM because this feels like a war that I got thrown into, and I don't know how I can be so tired and mad at the same time. ~ Emery Lord

Every girl wants to be Dorothy Gale or maybe Glinda. I never wanted to be the tornado. ~ Emery Lord

Because it's all so fleeting, isn't it? The ocean existed so long before us and will stay long after us - most trees, too, and some animals. Isn't that crazy? ~ Emery Lord

I almost try to explain another untranslatable word--sunyata--to Jonas. The idea has Buddhist roots and several meanings, depending on context. I think emptiness is the closest word, but, in English, we infer emptiness as a void, a lack. Sunyata is open with possibility, a meditative space. ~ Emery Lord

In friendship we are all debtors. We all owe each other for a thousand small kindnesses, for little moments of grace in the chaos. ~ Emery Lord

I wondered how we looked to the rest of the world. Young and silly, probably. I often had the distinct feeling that strangers watched us with annoyance, teenage girls with cotton candy lives. They could think that - that we were frothy and carefree. Would they ever guess how strong we were from carrying each other? ~ Emery Lord

I think I might love you too.

Oh, please. You do. ~ Emery Lord

After all, once there was a girl named Lucy who loved her family, old and new.
It's not the type of love that ends. ~ Emery Lord

I like your orange dog." Nadia taps her finger near the fox I'm trying to draw.
I lean against my hand to hide my smile. "Thanks. ~ Emery Lord

I believe in nature, in science, in jazz, in dancing. And I believe in people. In their resilience, in their goodness. This is my credo; this is my hymn. Maybe it's not enough for heaven, and maybe I'm even wrong. But if I can walk through the fire and, with blistered skin, still have faith in better days? I have to believe that's good enough. ~ Emery Lord

Yeah, you get a gift basket," Ellie says. "Because depression fucking sucks. ~ Emery Lord

I love math because there's always a right answer. It's not interpretive; it's not subjective. There is a correct destination, even if you have to hack through confusing parts to get there. That's not always true in life. ~ Emery Lord

Because I've been having a hard time since before the day we met. She never walked away from me because of it. Her feelings for me weren't contingent on how easy or hard it was to be in my life. She doesn't have to be sunny for me. That's not how it works. ~ Emery Lord

Mmmph.' I grunt this to myself in the helpless way you do when something is just so damn delicious. Yeah, I made it, but...what can I say? I'm good. ~ Emery Lord

Not even Dee's good influence could keep me from trying to hurt my parents the way they hurt me. At least that's what my court-appointed therapist thinks, and I hate to admit that she's probably right.

I also hate to admit that she's court-appointed. ~ Emery Lord

It's too damn hard to watch someone else get what you want. ~ Emery Lord

So maybe I don't know what'll happen. But it's nice to have someone to not know with you. ~ Emery Lord

I wanted to live in Lucy and Ricky's world, where the blunders of life were righted in one neat half hour. They made it look easy. ~ Emery Lord

The only difference is that Dee's natural coloring looks like an American landscape - country-sky-blue eyes and hair the color of Tennessee wheat fields, golden strands with darker undertones. My hair is nearly black, and I have jealous green eyes. In a fairy tale, she'd play the good fairy. I'd be the evil witch's screwup second cousin. Dee ~ Emery Lord

I struggle to maintain a facade of only mild interest in him. ~ Emery Lord

We stare down at the festival below us. I can hear the low pulse of a local band playing cover songs, the rustle of in the lake nearby, and the carrying laughter of kids our age eating cotton candy and flirting with summer loves. The sun has melted down to the horizon line, leaving trails of orange and pink in it's wake. In the distance, our hotel's roof peeks over the tree line. ~ Emery Lord

Matt's low voice, and Dee's hoarse giggling make a summer soundtrack I'll replay even when the tour is over. ~ Emery Lord

More of my life has been affected by his absence than his presence, and that's a strange thing to deal with. ~ Emery Lord

You can ache for where you come from, and it's homesickness. A relationship, and it's heartbreak. But is there a word for missing your friends like that? ~ Emery Lord

Jonah: Viv. Why is that? All the you-were-heres?
Viv: Because it's all so fleeting, isn't it? The ocean existed so long, and some animals. Isn't that crazy? My dress collection will love longer than I ever will. I'm just looking for some kind of permanence, so my mark will linger onthe world once I'm gone, in the places where I found joy. Does that make any sense? ~ Emery Lord

Stop documenting the moment for a second, he told me. Just be in it. ~ Emery Lord

My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I already was strong, and they made me prove it. ~ Emery Lord

And I say a final last prayer, this one in gratitude that there are people in the world who will protect kids with a fire that makes them sprint after cars, fight systems, curse with rage. It's enough to make you believe. Maybe not in symbols; maybe not in gods. But certainly in people. ~ Emery Lord

I close my eyes, trying to decipher how it feels. ~ Emery Lord

The point is that we already know it doesn't work out, but we reread them anyway, because the good stuff that comes before the ending is worth it." This ~ Emery Lord

I'm looking for somekind of permanence, so my mark will linger on the world once I'm gone, in the places where I found joy.." -Page 81 ~ Emery Lord

Laughter feels like our flotation device -- it won't pull us out of the storm, but it might carry us through, if we can just hang on. ~ Emery Lord

I vaguely remember a story about a woman who looked back while fleeing a broken city. She turned into a pillar of salt. A harsh fate, but I got the point. You can't look back when you're escaping disaster. You can't hope that someone will come after you, either. ~ Emery Lord

Whose empire did you just overthrow?" My own. ~ Emery Lord

I wanted him for myself, but I want adventure for him, too - and for me. ~ Emery Lord

After all, the night sky is a mess of stars -- a million fireflies crammed into infinity. But the mess becomes a map once you know how to use it. ~ Emery Lord

Dee's natural colouring looks like an American landscape - country-sky-blue eyes and hair the colour of Tennessee wheat fields, golden strands with darker undertones. My hair is nearly black, and I have jealous green eyes.

In a fairytale she'd play the good fairy. I'd be the evil witch's screwup second cousin. ~ Emery Lord

If you want to push someone away, I strongly recommend rambling about death and theology. That oughta do it. ~ Emery Lord

I don't appreciate how often people hide their scars and doubts. Really, it's not fair to people who are struggling, to go on believing that everyone else just has it totally together and never has one bad thought in their lives. Like, I know you people sometimes lie awake at night torturing yourself over the atrocities in this world and morality and meaning. I know you're not just dreaming about riding a pink pony to your job as a cupcake taster. ~ Emery Lord

Straining to hear, I can make out something acoustic. Coming from...the backyard?

I glance down from my bedroom window and feel my jaw fall open. Matt Finch is standing below my window, guitar strapped across his chest. I pull my window up, and I expect the song from that old movie - the one about a guy with a trench coat and the big radio and his heart on his sleeve.

But it's not that. It's not anything I recognise, and I strain to make out the lyrics: Stop being ridiculous, stop being ridiculous, Reagan.

What an asshole.

The mesh screen and two floors between us don't seem like enough to protect him from my anger.

"Nice apology," I call down to him.
"I've apologised thirteen times," he yells back, "and so far you haven't called me back."

I open my mouth to say it doesn't matter, but he's already redirecting the song.

"Now I'm gonna stand here until you forgive me," he sings loudly, "or at least until you hear me out, la-la, oh-la-la. I drove seven hours overnight, and I won't leave until you come out here."

(...) "This is private property!" My throat feel coarse from how loudly I'm yelling. "And that doesn't even rhyme!"

The guitar chord continues as he sings, "Then call the cops, call the cops, call the cops..."

I storm downstairs, my feet pounding against the staircase. When I turn the corner, my dad looks almost amused from his seat in the recliner. Noticing ~ Emery Lord

I'm just so tired. I'm so, so tired all the time.' A tear slips down her face, all the way down till it drops off her chin, and she doesn't brush its trail away.
And I remember being in that jungle, lost in the darkest, wildest part of it, where fearsome beasts and carnivorous plants lurk between every tree. All I could do was lie down on the wet leaves. Bugs crawled up my legs, and I couldn't care enough to brush them off. ~ Emery Lord

I am honestly trying to live this life while I can. The emotion swells around me, into this huge, humid feeling that I must be doing something right. ~ Emery Lord

So why do I wish I wish I wish I could take a picture of me and Jonah and send it to Ruby and Amala and say this is falling in love with someone GOOD and it is so good. ~ Emery Lord

Of course. You've had your cry, but now you'll pick yourself up and keep living your life. Doubly, for that sweet boy. Love extra, even if it means you hurt extra, too. That's how we honor them. ~ Emery Lord

Viv, I just made you wild-caught Alaskan salmon baked with mango chutney, on a bed of garlic red potatoes and arugula. While talking about an Audrey Hepburn movie. I think you are maybe falling in love with me. ~ Emery Lord

I don't mind being introduced to people's skeletons firsthand, in person. I more than don't mind it. I prefer to reach right into the closet and shake their bony hands and say hello for myself. ~ Emery Lord

When it all closes in, there are only two kinds of people: best friends and everyone else. ~ Emery Lord

Maybe we were dying planets, Jonah, being drawn into the darkness." I hold my right palm against his cheek, and I wish I could touch him with both my hands. "When we collided, we bounced each other back into orbit. And now we have to do that - we have to return to our own paths because that's what we gave each other. ~ Emery Lord

When his eyes land on me, something about his expression changes - like he recognizes me from somewhere, too. I look back, appraising him quickly. He's kind of beautiful, in an understated, comfortable-looking way - the kind of guy who doesn't mind seeing a rom-com with you and gives you his hoodie when you're cold. ~ Emery Lord

It takes a long time to learn someone. It takes a long time to see a person as a whole spectrum, from worst to best - from the mismanaged heartache that lands them in AA to the pancake dinners, from the hurtful things shouted in a dressing room to the huge-hearted strength that only a best friend can understand. Once you get there, it's forever. ~ Emery Lord

This is because she doesn't know about me picking a fight with Shruggy Jesus or rolling around topless with Lukas. My soul has already put on a blinker for the Hell exit, and now I live at hippie camp. That's like sending me into the express lane. ~ Emery Lord

I was too tired, too sad, too much of everything. ~ Emery Lord

Depression, it settles like a shadow over your body while you sleep, and it mutes every frequency into blankness, into fog. Everyone things you can't laugh when you're depressed, but I couldn't cry either, because I couldn't FEEL. ~ Emery Lord

Matt's still watching my face closely, as if nerdy glasses are going to manifest on my face. ~ Emery Lord

He's the 'him' in every sentence that really matters; he's the 'he' in every song. ~ Emery Lord

My eyes fill, hot with tears. Because, apparently, casual crying is just something that I do now. ~ Emery Lord

I would crawl to wherever you were, emotionally, so that you wouldn't feel alone. ~ Emery Lord

I'm a basket case, I thought. Who gets emotional over two letters?
But then I remembered that "no" also only has two letters.
Almost everyone in the world has cried over those. ~ Emery Lord

He said the measure of the man is in those decisions. Do you keep yourself and your family safe in harbor, always? Or do you move forward and brave the storms? ~ Emery Lord

Everything else will fall into place. Just live your life. ~ Emery Lord

Younger girls stand with their moms alongside countless girls our age in matching outfits - blazers and horseshoe necklaces and ballet flats. ~ Emery Lord

Her laugh sounds like wind chimes. ~ Emery Lord

To the deepest, most cellular level of my being, I resent people who believe that depression is the same as weakness, that "sad" people must be coddled like helpless toddlers. ~ Emery Lord

No matter what heaven you believe in, your time on this earth will end. What I'm saying is that you should listen - really listen - to the slosh of the waves and the distant call of Pacific birds. You should feel a boy's pulse against your cheek; you should fill your lungs with ocean air. While you can, I mean. You should do these things while you still can. ~ Emery Lord

We know there are three little words branded inside my heart: Jonah was here. ~ Emery Lord

I think about boats, how they're powerful but so delicate compared to the fickle sea. I think about lighthouses, about safe mooring and how easy it is to crash. ~ Emery Lord

I wasn't even looking for him, so why do I feel found? ~ Emery Lord

Should have, should have, should have. I'm sick of those words biting at my ankles no matter where I walk. ~ Emery Lord

Okay," he said, leaning closer to me. "I have a proposition for you." Dear God, let it be marriage, I thought. ~ Emery Lord

And just like that, we're on our way to everywhere ~ Emery Lord

It's been the longest time
Since I've been in this place,
Where I spend my whole day
Hoping I'll see your face.
Then I script things to say,
And maybe what you'd say back.
You don't know it yet,
But, girl, it's a fact

That I can see us
Staying up late,
Talking all night,
But I guess I'll have to wait.
'Cause it's brand-new,
Yeah, I know we just met.
I want to be there with you,
But not just yet.

Girl, you've got that look,
Like you're hard to impress.
So I'm bumbling with words,
'Cause my mind is a mess.
You were out of the blue
And you caught me by surprise,
With a slight smile, that long stare,
And a challenge in your eyes

I could feel all this
In that single look,
Like you could see my soul.
You could read me like a book,
And I think it's something.
Though I know we just met,
I'm gonna get there with you.
You just don't know it ... yet. ~ Emery Lord

Every once in a while, her temper flashes. It's like she's exhausted from beating down her demons. ~ Emery Lord

It's an understandable impulse, to be on the floor when everything is falling apart, like you just want to feel the solid ground beneath you. When you're on the floor, there's nowhere farther to fall. ~ Emery Lord

Seattle. It rains there a lot." Well, this is going great. Conversationalist of the Year. I'll just continue to recite basic facts about US cities until she wants to go out with me. ~ Emery Lord

Like you had been drowning, and the book was air. ~ Emery Lord

Hasn't Daybreak shown me, day after day, that people can outlast unbelievable pain? That human hearts are like noble little ants, able to carry so much more weight than you'd expect. ~ Emery Lord

Here is something I never expected to feel: love at first sight for an entire family. But life suprises you. It tells you to close your eyes and blow out the candles, and then sometimes smashes your face into the cake before you can even make a wish. But! Sometimes, every once in a while, you get your wish in. You wish for a boy to spend the summer with, and instead life gives you his whole beauiful family. ~ Emery Lord

I dig the toe of my shoe into the dirt. "It's complicated."
"Is it? Most complicated things in life are actually pretty simple at the core. We put so much extra nonsense in the middle that we can't even see how easy it really is. ~ Emery Lord

Like a wounded soldier
Trudging the old road home,
But I ain't the old me,
And I walk this path alone.
I'm battle-worn, I'm battle-torn
With these scars inside my chest,
Kept up that happy face for you,
To hide that I'm a mess.

But I gave you every ounce of fight in me,
And I have no regrets.
If I was going to lose you,
At least I lost you to my best.
But it felt so wrong,
So tangled up in blue,
Like that old Dylan song,
Like I don't know who I am,
Now that you're gone.

But I lived through the pain.
Now I see the other side.
Now I know that life's too short
To shut myself down and hide.
I'm battle-torn, but I'm battle-born.
These scars are part of me.
I got nothing left but what I've learned,
And I'll use that, and you'll see,

I can still give every ounce of fight in me,
Till I have no regrets,
Because if I'm going to lose someone,
I'm gonna lose her to my best.
And I'll be strong,
When a hard rain's a-gonna fall,
Like that old Dylan song,
You're the reason I stand tall,
And that will never be gone. ~ Emery Lord

I'm not sure why I feel lonely instead of just alone. ~ Emery Lord

I felt so sad that it felt like my rib cage was collapsing in on itself. ~ Emery Lord

A rigid old tree like me--it snaps in a raging storm. The pliant tree bends in the rain and survives. ~ Emery Lord

Oh, you know I'm only human;
I bend and fall and break
You cut me and I bleed
I'm a mess for you to make
So forget the words and give me deeds
My heart was yours to take. ~ Emery Lord

Ryan Chase was my eighth-grade collage, aspirational and wide-eyed. But Max was the first bite of grilled cheese on a snowy day, the easy fit of my favorite jeans, that one old song that made it onto every playlist. Peanut-butter Girl Scout cookies instead of an ornate cake. Not glamorous or idealized or complicated. Just me. ~ Emery Lord

Love extra, even if it means you hurt extra,too ~ Emery Lord

We're born alone, and we die alone. ~ Emery Lord

I want to reach back into my history with a grade-school pink eraser, scrubbing away my decisions like mistakes on a math test. To bad I drew my mistakes in ink. ~ Emery Lord

But life is not evens and odds and solving for x. And sadness? Sadness is an equation made of all variables. ~ Emery Lord

I don't remember that." He shook his head. "Of course you don't. You were in another world, completely occupied with whatever you were reading. ~ Emery Lord

This is the currency of friendship, traded over years and miles, and I hope it's an even exchange someday. For now, I do what all best friends do when there's nothing left to say. We lie together in all the darkness, shoulder to shoulder, and wait for the worst to be over. ~ Emery Lord

But my mom says the best revenge is living well, and I believe her. ~ Emery Lord

But the point is that trying to make things better sometimes makes us better, too. The point is I'm trying to create good things in the midst of the bad. Grief or no grief. And in my case, it's still somewhere in between. ~ Emery Lord

I think I've loved you since that first day. ~ Emery Lord

Girl, you're as hot as your temper,
And you won't let me through.
But I think you would be good for me.
I know I'd be good for you.
Oh, but then that night at the lake,
You said we'd be a mistake.
But you're wrong there, honey.
I'm a chance you wanna take.

Do you want me to beg you?
Do you want me to say please?
Then this song is the rest of my pride, girl,
This song is me down on my knees.
Just give in, give in to me, girl.
I'll give you everything I've got.
I won't give up, give up on you, girl,
Till you're giving me a shot.

So go on, pretend you can fight it,
Walk away like I'm not in your head.
Brush me off like I never cross your mind
At night as you lay down in bed.

Till you're giving me a shot.
C'mon, girl, give me a shot,
One shot.
I'll give you everything I've got... ~ Emery Lord

This past year has been a lesson in letting go and holding on, and I don't know what to make of it. I guess I do know this: find a best friend, and hang on tight. ~ Emery Lord

You can be okay again. Just a different kind of okay than before. ~ Emery Lord

Sure, QuizBowl wasn't a cool activity to join and, yeah, the idea of answering difficult questions in front of an audience terrified me. But it wasn't anything like the fear that accompanied my drowning nightmare - harrowing and visceral. No, this fear made me feel fizzy. Hopeful.
In fact, this fear felt like waking up do discover I am still here. ~ Emery Lord

You are the only person who can build emotional barriers, but you're also the only person who can topple them. Other people can't knock down the walls you've built, no matter how much they love you. You have to tear them down yourself because there's something worth seeing on the other side. ~ Emery Lord

Do you want me to beg you? Do you want me to say please? Then this song is the rest of my pride, girl. This song is me down on my knees. ~ Emery Lord

He grinned. "I knew you loved me, Tessa."

Tessa's cheeks reddened. "One more word, and I WILL have Morgan give you the consent lecture. ~ Emery Lord