Carpeting Quotes

That's life. It's a series of knock-down, drag-out fights with yourself and others that will leave you lying on the ground bruised and bloody and drooling all over your shag carpeting. But all that doesn't define you, your reaction to it does. Your environment doesn't make you who you are, your choices - your beliefs, do. ~ J.S.B. Morse

Something was in her mouth. Sami's tongue slid along the edges of something plastic. Flat, low ridges, holes-an adjustable strap. A baseball cap?

Another taste. Hair spray. Gross.

Someone had stuffed her baseball cap in her mouth, and from the feel of it they had taped it in place. Her arms were tied behind her and she lay face down on the floor-of what? Her car. The carpeting scraped her cheek every time they hit a bump.

Panic flooded Sami's senses. She came instantly awake. Inhaling deeply through her nose, she willed herself to calm down. Her working motto flashed through her brain, panic never accomplished anything. Of course she had never been kidnapped and tied up before.

In the dim light of passing cars, she glimpsed things-paper gum wrappers, an old straw, one whopper wrapper, a CD cover.

That's where Sting went. Been looking for that for days. Man did she need to vacuum this car out.

A metallic scent hit her nose. She'd recognize that smell until the day she died. Blood. And by the odor, someone had lost a great deal of it. ~ Suzanne Ferrell

My mom told me I could have sheets, towels, and a few pillows, but I wanted leopard drapes, carpeting, and a comforter, too. I think maybe my obsession had something to do with my grandmother - she told me the best print to buy is leopard because it always stays in style. ~ Kim Kardashian

All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. ~ Erma Bombeck

My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. ~ Judy Gold

Roddy the assistant manager lived in the theater. He'd emptied out one of the supply closets. He'd installed an inflatable mattress, a Shower Anywhere portable shower, and a wee television. He slept amid the powdered-butter fumes and empty drink-syrup tanks. He had grub-white skin and Goth circles under his eyes that, unlike those of Goths, came from really, truly existing half in the world of the dead. He smelled like carpeting, Scotch tape, and steak sauce. He was almost forty but had one of those half mustaches that thirteen-year-olds have. He was the closest thing to a zombie I've yet encountered in this world. ~ Patton Oswalt

What if I took the picture books that my grandmother made and snapped open the rings in every binder, let the plastic pages spill out onto the floor, and then attacked them with my scissors?

Those books, pasted together by my grandmother, year after year, replaced the cognitive exercise of memory for me. Sitting on a section of wall-to-wall carpeting, drinking the bubbling red birch beer from a tinted brown glass, I reestablished my relationships with the members of my family. This is where I put it all together and perpetuated the lies. Not malicious lies, but lies with so many years to develop that we forgot the truth because nobody rehearsed it. When Mark was sentence to sixty days in a twelve-step rehab program in 1991, he wrote an inventory of his experiences with drugs and alcohol that filled a whole notebook, and then he gave it to us to read, It was in those pages that I learned he had once tapped the powder out of horse tranquilizer capsules, melted it down, and shot it into his veins for a high that lasted fourteen days. My God, I thought, Oh my God. This is Mark's story? Okay, now put the cooked-down shot-up horse tranquilizer against the pictures in the album. What do you get? Collage. Dry made wet and introduced into the body. Cut cut cut. It's not so radical. ~ Jill Christman

My legs have the strength of mashed potatoes. I'm cold and clammy and my stomach churns like I vomited. That's because I did, in the viewing room, and I discovered that yellow bile does not blend well with red velvet industrial carpeting. My crowning achievement in overreaction. ~ Katie McGarry

The world is a clock winding down.
I hear it in the wind's icy fingers scratching against the window. I smell it in the mildewed carpeting and the rotting wallpaper of the old hotel. And I feel it in Teacup's chest as she sleeps. The hammering of her heart, the rhythm of her breath, warm in the freezing air, the clock winding down. ~ Rick Yancey

With these surface waters, through a series of delicately adjusted, interlocking relationship, the life of all parts of the sea is linked. What happens to a diatom in the upper, sunlit strata of the sea may well determine what happens to a cod lying on a ledge of some rocky canyon a hundred fathoms below, or to a bed of multicolored, gorgeously plumed seaworms carpeting an underlying shoal. or to a prawn creeping over the soft oozes of the sea floor in the balckness of mile-deep water. ~ Rachel Carson

He smelled like carpeting, Scotch tape, and steak sauce. ~ Patton Oswalt

There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting. ~ Woody Allen

couple of small suites, all nicely furnished. There was a small sitting area with a gas fireplace, lush carpeting and deep leather chairs. She tiptoed in, enjoying ~ Ana Meadows

When white people envision their perfect home, it always has hardwood floors. In fact, most white people would prefer a dirt floor over wall-to-wall carpeting, because to them it would have the same level of cleanliness and probably fewer germs.
White people are petrified of germs, and when they look at a carpet all they can see is everything that has ever been spilled, tracked in, or shaken loose into the carpet fibers. But more disgusting to white people is that wall-to-wall carpeting reminds them of suburban homes, motel rooms, and the horrible apartments that they have visited or lived in over the years. It has no soul. Only germs.
Hardwood floors, on the other hand, are easily cleaned and give a sense of character to a place, since they are often the original flooring in older buildings. It is a well-known white fantasy to purchase a home or apartment that has disgusting carpet and then to pull it up to reveal a beautiful hardwood floor underneath. ~ Christian Lander

When your friend who died was still alive, did you ever tell him?"

"Tell him what?"

"That you're… what's the word? Celibate?" Tony asked, trailing his fingers along the buttons on the remote control but not really finding himself able to change the channel. His name, his daughter's name, it all could've easily become a statistic, an obituary, had they not left the tower when they did.

"I'm asexual, not a celibate," replied the lawyer, "and sure, I told him…" She froze for a moment, averting her eyes to the ugly gray-and-red carpeting on the floor. "Clarence didn't care, he was married, anyway. He always used to tell me, "you know, you'd make one hell of an ace attorney, Bailey! ~ Rebecca McNutt

My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting. ~ Woody Allen

She sat on the side of the bed with her bare feet firmly on the thick Berber carpeting and tried to maintain a sense of calm. No need to let her emotions get the best of her. It wasn't as if this was a disappointment, exactly. Still, as she got up to get dressed, she couldn't help but think how much simpler this all would be if he'd gone ahead and died. Now the police would get involved, and there was nothing she could do to separate herself from the mess that was bound to come. ~ Sharon Sala

Like a lot of you, I grew up in a family on the ragged edges of the middle class. My daddy sold carpeting and ended up as a maintenance man. After he had a heart attack, my mom worked the phones at Sears so we could hang on to our house. ~ Elizabeth Warren

You know when a company wants to use letters in their phone number, but often they'll use too many letters? "Call 1-800-I-Really-Enjoy-Brand-New-Carpeting." Too many letters, man, must I dial them all? "Hello? Hold on, man, I'm only on 'Enjoy.' How did you know I was calling? You're good, I can see why they hired you!" ~ Mitch Hedberg