Amanda Lovelace Quotes

call me
bitch.

call me
villain.

call me
she-wolf.

call me
bad omen.

call me
your worst nightmare

wearing a
red-lipped smile.

-even better, call me by my name. ~ Amanda Lovelace

you cannot have a funeral for your mother without also having a funeral for yourself."- it's time to begin the procession. ~ Amanda Lovelace

you are never directionless. - the universe is always guiding you. ~ Amanda Lovelace

sometimes you heal up & sometimes you
stick out at strange angles
forever..... like an elaborate self-
portrait
drawn by a six year old & so what? you are
learning what it means to be
the only one
of yourself ~ Amanda Lovelace

falling in love
with you

was
like that

knowing,
heart-stopping,
airless,
upside-down

moment
right before

a fatal
collision.

-brace for impact. ~ Amanda Lovelace

Somehow, my soul knew your soul before we ever had the chance to meet. ~ Amanda Lovelace

She learned
that dead moms
were not just
a thing that
happened to
characters
in her favorite
fairy tales.
it happened to
girls like her, too.
but the
difference was
there was no
omniscient narrator
to teach her how
to navigate it.
- the cracked compass. ~ Amanda Lovelace

do you
ever
find
yourself
nostalgic
for
the life
you never
got to
have? ~ Amanda Lovelace

Fairy godmother says
without you here,
the moon & the stars
would fall.
Mountains would crack
down the middle.
Castles would crumble
into nothingness.
Books would burst
into flames.
It's not time to go just yet. ~ Amanda Lovelace

They do not pretend to deserve me; better yet, they do not even pretend that they can save me. They do not view me as a broken, feathered thing they can mend up if they scoop me into their hands and show me enough attention. In time, they know that I will stretch across the skies again, but not before I'm ready.
- not before I mend my own wing. ~ Amanda Lovelace

i say to him,

"we will always
have our octobers.

- even when everything else fades. ~ Amanda Lovelace

three generations of women sit around the enormous kitchen table--some hunched over cups of coffee, some hunched over cups of tea. despite our differences, we are all laughing so hard that the thunder outside must compete with us. she can't sit here with us anymore & I'm sure we can all feel the heaviness of her absence, but even when every chair is taken & everyone else has to stand, it still feels like there will always be a space for her. ~ Amanda Lovelace

- i would thank you, but we both know you don't deserve it. ~ Amanda Lovelace

my mother
smiled
as she offered
a cube of
sugar
in her
upturned palm.

greedily,
i accepted.

i reached inside
my mouth,
delicately placing one
(just one)
on the center
of my tongue,
& i clamped
down.

salt.

this is what abuse is:
knowing you are
going to get salt
but still hoping for sugar
for nineteen years.

- you may be gone, but i still have a stomachache. ~ Amanda Lovelace

i. getting out of bed. ii. remembering to eat. iii. drinking a glass of water. iv. being kind to yourself. v. surviving the day. - reasons to be proud of yourself, big or small. ~ Amanda Lovelace

i never
expected
death
to be my most
faithful companion,
but she is
the only one
who will come
without
having to be
asked.

- the only one who will never leave ~ Amanda Lovelace

in winter,
it's the snowflakes.

in spring,
it's the raindrops.

in summer,
it's the flower petals.

in autumn,
it's the leaves.

all these things
will eventually fall,

but not one of them
will fall as hard

as i do for you when i
wake up every morning.

-all the cliches were written with us in mind. ~ Amanda Lovelace

blood runs wherever his fingertips graze me. - ~ Amanda Lovelace

for a time, it seemed to me that we were starlight-touched, failing to realize that we were actually star-crossed ~ Amanda Lovelace

i don't write
what i write to hurt you.
- i write what i write to heal me. ~ Amanda Lovelace

Today,
i love the way i look in my sundress & it's not because someone else convinced me to. ~ Amanda Lovelace

the princess jumped from the tower & she learned that she could fly all along. she never needed those wings. ~ Amanda Lovelace

you will think
your parents are
shatterproof

until one day
you find out
they aren't.

- what it really means to lose your innocence ~ Amanda Lovelace

i
can't seem
to recall
agreeing
to be a
casualty
of these
manmade
disasters ~ Amanda Lovelace

i have
so much love
to give,
but no one
ever wants
it.

- a cup overfilled. ~ Amanda Lovelace

be
stronger
than the
villains.
be every
storybook
heroine
come to life. ~ Amanda Lovelace

women learn to sense who danger looks like just by catching another woman's eye from across a crowded room. ~ Amanda Lovelace

be
victorious
in
everything
you do.
disturb the gods,
if that's what
it takes.
& maybe
especially then. ~ Amanda Lovelace

Cages are still cages,
even when they're designed to look just like castles.
- illusionist ~ Amanda Lovelace

despite what you have heard, being alone is not this great tragedy everyone makes it out to be. if nothing else, see it as an opportunity to reintroduce yourself to yourself. to relearn who you are today. to dream up all the people you would like to be for every tomorrow to come. above all, find the value that lies in becoming your own best friend. ~ Amanda Lovelace

when I die, do not waste a minute mouring me. I may go, but I will leave behind all my thousand & one lives - a bookmad girl never dies. ~ Amanda Lovelace

i'm no longer searching for reasons or explanations for the past.
i'm only searching for breadcrumbs leading to more breadcrumbs that will, with any luck, eventually lead me down the path i've been looking for this whole time.
- homeward. ~ Amanda Lovelace

i tucked my story into the folds of silence in order to put other people at ease.
- no more. ~ Amanda Lovelace

when
he left,
he
packed up
all my
poetry
&
took it
with
him. ~ Amanda Lovelace

you deserve someone who makes you feel like the otherworldly creature you are.

-yourself. ~ Amanda Lovelace

didn't anyone ever warn you not to try to trick a girl who reads? she's already seen everything.- don't try to waste your time again. ~ Amanda Lovelace

make words your finest weapons - a gold-hilted sword to cut your enemies d ~ Amanda Lovelace

fairy godmother says if you can no longer recognize the face reflected in the bathroom mirror, remember this: you are ever-changing. ever-spinning, too, just like mother earth. when you fall from the pure exhaustion of it all, you have every means to get back up & start over again. keep going, little dancer. keep going. ~ Amanda Lovelace

it is strange
how
sisters
can
be
saviors
or
strangers
&
sometimes
a bit of both. ~ Amanda Lovelace

be wary
of the boys who
only ever tell
half-thruths
because they
will only ever be
half in love
with you

-slay those dragons ~ Amanda Lovelace

moons after it ended, you still snuck up to my mailbox to deliver bundles of letters-

half love notes, half hate notes.

when you found someone new, all your letters came back to you marked [returned to sender].- find a new partner in crime. ~ Amanda Lovelace

is death our only feather-covered hope? - ~ Amanda Lovelace

i stopped wondering
when the next chapter
would finally begin,
& I started writing it instead. ~ Amanda Lovelace

You carried
your demons
& you tried
your best to
shoulder
mine, too.
Yours were
just
too heavy
a burden
to take on
the load. ~ Amanda Lovelace

Grief will
never truly be
done with you.
When
you're ready,
take it in your hands
like a paintbrush.
like a charcoal.
like a pen.
Turn it
into a thing that
could hang in museums.
- masterpiece ~ Amanda Lovelace

I cannot fight my way through these fucking shadows on my own.
- no light, no sun. ~ Amanda Lovelace

my boy?
he is even
better than
books.
-fiction has nothing on you. ~ Amanda Lovelace

yesterday,
they were angry scarlet gashes.
today,
they are quietly fading hairlines.
tomorrow,
tomorrow-
- you'll just have to wait around & see. ~ Amanda Lovelace

if you do it to protect
your mental health,
then it's not cruel,
nor is it selfish. ~ Amanda Lovelace

flowers
grow
wherever
his
fingertips
graze
me.

- my sun & rain. ~ Amanda Lovelace

Fuck the idea of staying calm. ~ Amanda Lovelace

write the story.
push your hands into the dirtiest parts of yourself.
take the rot & decay & turn it into nourishment & life.
water it & sing to it & show it sunlight.
grow a beautiful garden from your aching & teach yourself how to thrive from it.
write your story. ~ Amanda Lovelace

a woman's wrath is nothing if not immortal ~ Amanda Lovelace

Your
comfort
is not
more
important
than
my journey
to healing.
- I will never live a life of quiet again. ~ Amanda Lovelace

I always believed that if I was able to make them stay, they would make me forget every bad thing that ever happened to me. They always told me that they would rescue me from myself & I was foolish enough to believe them.
- bittersweet ~ Amanda Lovelace

revenge was never my intention.
-but it still tastes sweeter than honey ~ Amanda Lovelace

when you're taught to see the world through fire, nothing looks safe. ~ Amanda Lovelace

You brought the needle & I brought the thread. We meant to mend our two broken hearts, but we ended up stitching them together. ~ Amanda Lovelace

strong is she who knows when she needs to lay her battles down to rest. strong is she who knows the difference between quitting & self-preservation. every full moon is a reminder of what has come full circle & must be released. every new moon is a chance to start anew. - cherish your every phase. ~ Amanda Lovelace

everyone
urges me to
hold on to
my dreams
to pass the time,

but
what happens
when your dreams
are nightmares
stuck on
repeatrepeatrepeat?

- please wake me up. ~ Amanda Lovelace

sometimes no closure tells us more than the closure ever could.- some people were never worth your words. ~ Amanda Lovelace

I hold the seashell up to my ear, not with the anticipation of hearing the crash of the ocean waves but with the crushing hope of catching even the smallest note of your voice one
last
time.
-immortalized by a voicemail ~ Amanda Lovelace

For months,
I dream that
you aren't
really dead-
that
they made
some sort
of horrible
mistake
by
declaring
you dead &
turning you
to ash
&
you get to
come back
home now.
- it feels more like a nightmare. ~ Amanda Lovelace

once upon a time, the princess rose from the ashes her dragon lovers made of her & crowned herself the mother-fucking queen of herself. - how's that for a happily ever after? ~ Amanda Lovelace

For the first time, I will allow myself to believe that the best can & will happen to me, instead of the worst.
- life doesn't have to be a horror show. ~ Amanda Lovelace

when i had
no friends
i reached inside
my beloved
books
& sculpted some
out of 12 pt
times new roman

-& it was almost good enough ~ Amanda Lovelace

you are sad now.
you are not sad forever.
there are no paved roads
to healing.
you must build one
brick by brick.
there will be backtracks before breakthroughs but-
you must collapse
into yourself
before rebuilding.
you must unearth
every wound
before learning the power of salt.
you will build that yellow brick road-
in your own time and
on your own terms.
- the grit of healing. ~ Amanda Lovelace

before he left, he wrapped my heart in layers of briars & barbed wire to make sure that no one else could ever get in, but you were more than willing to bloody your hands for me. ~ Amanda Lovelace

it took
losing him
to finally
find
myself.

It took
losing him
a second time
to be sure
of myself.

that
was my
first act
of
self-love. ~ Amanda Lovelace

ready for a
harsh truth?

women
don't need
your validation.

we
already have
our own.

- my self-worth shouldn't feel like an act of bravery. ~ Amanda Lovelace

i didn't come here
to be civil.
i didn't come here
to sit you down
with a mug of tea
& a blueberry muffin
to coddle you as
i try to convince you
that respecting
my existence is essential,
you've had plenty
of chances
& you took a
hard pass every time,
so i came here
to watch your anger overtake
until you finally
combust. ~ Amanda Lovelace

Women endure because we aren't given any other choice. ~ Amanda Lovelace

It's such a shame that you will finally have to learn that there are consequences to treating women like they're nothing. You may have gotten to walk away, but a piece of me will follow you forever. Now, isn't that romantic? ~ Amanda Lovelace

it only takes
a single word
from you

to make me
feel like i
could

command
the world's
armies

&
rule over
queendoms

&
direct
the oceans

&
finally defeat the
winter light. ~ Amanda Lovelace

My sister and I spent out nights wishing upon the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars plastered to our ceiling.
-we made it after all ~ Amanda Lovelace

at
this point,
staying
with you
is nothing
more
than
muscle
memory. ~ Amanda Lovelace

the love
some girls
have for
other girls
is
so gentle
& so soft
& so fucking
beautiful,
&
these girls
deserve
to have
better stories
than the ones
where they
are murdered
because they love
with too much
of their
hearts.

-love is never a weakness. ~ Amanda Lovelace

the princess locked herself away in the highest tower, hoping a knight in shining armor would come to her rescue. - i didn't realize i could be my own knight. ~ Amanda Lovelace

fuck the idea / that there is / such a thing / as destiny, / that there exists / some kind of / mysterious master plan, / that there is a god who / simply / does not / give us anything / we cannot / handle.
the pain / did not / make me / a better person. / it did not / teach me not to / take anything / for granted. / it did not / teach me anything / except how / to be afraid / to love anyone.
i am / far too / young / to be so / goddman/ broken / & / if i could go back / in time / & give / myself / her childhood / back, / i would
- what was the point? ~ Amanda Lovelace

if
love
is a
battlefield,
then i
must have
forgotten
all of
my armor
at home.

-a war i never agreed to fight ~ Amanda Lovelace

the only thing
required
to be
a woman
is to
identify
as one.

- period, end of story. ~ Amanda Lovelace

they say
they only want
flowers
to grow from
my mouth,

so i will
look them
dead
in the
eye

as i
shove
soft petals
past
my lips,

chew
with
my jaw
completely
unhinged,

& spit
them
down
at
their feet

-i will never be your expectations of me ~ Amanda Lovelace

when you spend
all your time
imagining yourself
in other people's shoes,

your own story
goes unwritten,

& there is nothing
more painful
than that. ~ Amanda Lovelace

i have to
believe
the day
will come
where i don't
flinch
whenever
i hear
his name.

- some names will always be cursed. ~ Amanda Lovelace

love does not need to be tragic in order for it to be good. ~ Amanda Lovelace

fairy godmother says it's not a character flaw to care too much, but it can drain you until you have nothing left to give yourself. ~ Amanda Lovelace

fairy godmother says
it's not an easy thing
to accept yourself the way you are.
some people spend their entire lives
trying to master it.
but if anyone is strong enough
to face the challenge,
it's you. ~ Amanda Lovelace

What happens when your dreams are nightmares stuck on repeatrepeatrepeat? ~ Amanda Lovelace

fairy godmother says get that head out of the stars. here's a secret: your fairy godmother is inside you. you only need to believe in her for your every wish to come true. (no wand necessary.) ~ Amanda Lovelace

the reason they tell us we cannot have it all is because they fear we will become even more dangerous than we are, & we are already such forces to be reckoned with.
- open up the wardrobe & step inside. ~ Amanda Lovelace

You're allowed to hold your family at arm's length, family can be toxic, family can be abusive, family can belittle you, invalidate you, or make you feel unsafe, you don't need to explain yourself to anyone who disagrees. ~ Amanda Lovelace

you are so much more than the rippling fallacies
your reflection whispers to you.
those demons that lurk beneath the surface
do not know you
even though they pretend to.
and someday,
though it feels impossible,
you will see yourself as i do.
when time has finally finished healing your scars,
your siren call will scream 'I AM GOOD ENOUGH!'
and even your bewitching smile will shine through.
but until that day, the day you are okay, just keep singing yourself to sleep.
And eventually, your monsters will stop haunting you.
- trust me. ~ Amanda Lovelace

the only thing i can do is learn to live with the idea that i will never be cured. i will always be in the process of healing.
- making the most of it. ~ Amanda Lovelace

a bookmad girl never dies. ~ Amanda Lovelace

you never know what you'll be allowed to bring with you into the unknown. - what if it's nothing? ~ Amanda Lovelace

Sometimes friendship is the motherfucking prizes, so be grateful I let you in at all. ~ Amanda Lovelace

tell me
something,
would you?

haven't you
ever wished

you could
dance

in the ashes
of everyone who

ever doubted
your worth

& scoffed at
your words?

(shh
it's okay.
i won't tell) ~ Amanda Lovelace

You see,
it's not exactly in this girl's nature
to be torn
in
two. ~ Amanda Lovelace

there came
a time
when
poetry
showed me
how to
bleed
without
the demand
of blood.

- my most loyal lover. ~ Amanda Lovelace

i don't
wear makeup for others
the same way
i don't

decorate
my house for others.
this is my
home

&
everything i do
is for
me. ~ Amanda Lovelace