Ronnie Barker Famous Quotes
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We had hoped to have been bringing you Arthur the Human Chameleon, but this afternoon, he crawled across a tartan rug and died of exhaustion.
Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred 'Chuckles' Jenkins, Britain's oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred's jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence.
The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
Don't just crit their siticising.
It's better to make people laugh than cry.
There was a strange happening during a performance of Elgar's 'Sea Pictures' at a concert hall in Bermuda tonight, when the man playing the triangle disappeared.
To get a job where the only thing you have to do in your career is to make people laugh-well, it's the best job in the world.
In a packed programme tonight, we will be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.
Next week we'll be investigating rumours that the president of the dairy council has become a Mason, and goes around giving his colleagues the 'secret milkshake.'
If I was as rich as Rockefeller I'd be richer than Rockefeller, because I'd do a bit of window cleaning on the side.
