Pseudonymous Bosch Quotes

You know, people always warn children about taking candy from strange adults. But they never warn us adults about taking candy from strange children.
All those sweet-looking kids who sell boxes of candy bars on the street to help pay for schooling - how do we know what's in those bars? And don't even get me stated on that nefarious institution designed to lure unsuspecting customers into buying mysterious frosted goodies: the bake sale.
Adults, be warned: if a child wanted to poison you it would be a piece of cake! Literally a piece of cake.

Q: Why do you like chocolate so much?
A: The answer, clearly, is because I've tasted chocolate.

Being an author, is being a dictator. (in a good way)

Generally speaking, books don't cause much harm. Except when you read them, that is. Then they cause all kinds of problems.

It was like walking into a treasure trove of books, hoarded by pirate librarians.

If I do find out the Secret,I won't be able to tell it to you-you know that right?And that doesn't mean I don't trust you.It's just because I can't.Sometimes even best friends have to keep secrets from each other.
-Cass

Sometimes when we are at our lowest points, we make the greatest discoveries.

Q: What is dark chocolate?" "A: Heaven on Earth

Who needs to go somewhere when you can read about it.

When I was younger, I loved graveyards. They weren't spooky so much as mysterious. Each tombstone another story to uncover. Another life to learn about.
Now that I'm older - I won't say how old - I hate graveyards. The only life - or rather death - I see in the tombstones is my own.

Whether it's chocolate or socks, the rule is the same; the darker the better.

Better to cry wolf over and over than never to cry wolf at all.

This new condition, this unwilled silence, had fallen over him ten days ago. The day Cass had gone into the hospital. The day she had fallen into a coma.

The llama was wearing a bridle with a rope attached where you might expect to find reins. A greeting card was hanging from his neck:
'Hola Como se llama? Yo me llamo C. Llama.'
During his preschool years, Clay's favorite cartoon had featured a Spanish-speaking boy naturalist who was always saving animals with his girl cousin, and Clay still knew enough of the language to translate:
'Hello. How do you call yourself? I call myself Como C. Llama.'
The llama's name is What is your name?

Cassandra, when you want to speak to me, you should say 'Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson.' Then wait until you get my attention."
"Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson. Do I have your attention now?

Books can also provoke emotions. And emotions sometimes are even more troublesome than ideas. Emotions have led people to do all sorts of things they later regret-like, oh, throwing a book at someone else.

Truth is only stranger than fiction if you're a stranger to the truth. Which means you're either a liar or you're fictional.

WARNING:
DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS PAGE!

Please be SILENT and LISTEN.
I am the SCHOOLMASTER
and you are in the CLASSROOM.
Just like ELEVEN PLUS TWO equals
TWELVE PLUS ONE,
And even a FUNERAL can be REAL FUN,
You will find my DICTIONARY
is quite INDICATORY.
If you want to read my story, just look ...
THEN UNREAD.

The name of this book is mysterious.

Oh, talking is not so bad as that," said the Jester. "True, most people say only silly things when they speak. But it's easier to ignore them if you're saying silly things yourself.

Despite my vanity, I fear for my sanity.

IN THE UNFORTUNATE EVENT THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF CORNERED BY A MEMBER OF THE MIDNIGHT SUN, PICK YOUR NOSE.

One dictionary defines denouement as "a final part in which everything is made clear and no questions or surprises remain." By that definition, it is exactly the wrong word to describe this chapter. This chapter will make nothing clear; it will raise many questions; and it may even contain a surprise or two. But I say we call it the denouement anyway because the words sounds so sophisticated and French.

Only bad books have good endings.
If a book is any good, it's ending is always bad - because you don't want the book to end.

I HAVE A SECRET I CAN'T TELL NOR INK;
THOUGH IT HAS NO SCENT, IT DOES OFTEN STINK.
THOUGH IT MAKES NO SOUND, IT CAN MAKE YOU ROAR;
WHEN IT'S TASTELESS, I LIKE IT ALL THE MORE.
THOUGH IT HAS NO SHADE, IT LACKS NOT COLOR;
THOUGH IT HAS NO SHAPE, NO CAUSE FOR DOLOR.
IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW IT, YOU'RE INCORRECT,
AND FROM YOU THE SECRET I WILL PROTECT.
THE SECRET OF LIFE IS NOT STONE NOR CENTS,
FOR THE SECRET SENSE IS BUT A NONSENSE.

Clay took a breath, reached out, and -
CLAP!
- smashed the fly between his palms.
Right in front of the dragon's eye.
Brett stared at him in shock. "Do you have a death wish?

Never let a pickpocket bump into you if you can help it

Death is like an old dog. He always knows when you are at his door.

This book will not harm you unless someone throws it at you which is a possibilty never to be discounted.

But there were other, vaguer, harder-to-pin-down feelings, like: a pit in the stomach that means something is either really good or really bad or both. A feeling of being old and young at once. A sense of beginnings and endings happening at the same time. A certainty that your life is changing, but an uncertainty about how it's changing and whether you want it to.

* If mind control sounds appealing to you, congratulations - you're well on your way to being a writer!

Do you remember Gateway to the Invisible, Amber?" He gestured to a dark mirrored cabinet standing behind him. "These days I do a version called Up in Smoke. But in honour of the Island nearby, I think we should call it Lost in the Vog. How 'bout that?"
Amber stared at him. "I knew I knew you! You're -

USE COMMON SENSE. If somebody offers you a thousand dollars for this book, chances are their motives are not pure. Then again, a thousand dollars is a lot of money. Take the money and run.

But remember what I said about forgetting what I said?

Very little in this world makes sense.

No wandering minds allowed.

Your problem, it is not here' - he pointed the pen at Max-Ernest's throat - 'it is here' - he pointed the pen at Max-Ernest's chest. 'My heart is heavy, too. But you must be strong. This situation, it is very serious. It is not only Cass's life that is at stake. If she dies, the Secret, it will die too.

Why did so many grown-ups want to be young, she wondered, when it took so long to grow old? It was like going on a million-mile road trip then wanting to turn around without getting out of the car.

Author's note: At a certain point in the first 150 pages of this book there will be an emergency drill. Please follow all instructions and behave exactly as you would in a real emergency. Thank you.