Nora Sakavic Quotes

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When I'm playing, I feel like I have control over something. I feel like I have the power to change things. I feel more real out there than I do anywhere else. The court doesn't care what my name is or where I come from or where I'll be tomorrow. It lets me exist.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: When I'm playing, I feel
Is this what dying feels like?" she asked, and called over her shoulder, "Babe, I think I'm dying. Do I still have legs? I can't look down. I don't think I have legs. I don't think I'll ever walk again." "Uh-huh," Laila said, trotting over to them. "You'd better figure something out, because you're definitely too heavy for me to carry off this court." "Rude.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Is this what dying feels
Oh, Coach." Andrew tossed his hands up in a helpless shrug. "You can't even imagine how much fun we are having right now. It's overwhelming. Give us a minute to catch our breaths before our hearts explode in our chest.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Oh, Coach.
I don't believe in giving people chances." "I didn't until I came here," Neil said. "I took a chance on you when I decided to stay. You took a chance on me when you trusted me with Kevin. Is it really that hard to support them when they've been with you every step of the way?" "What will you give me in exchange for my cooperation?" Andrew asked. "Because revenge isn't good enough?" Neil asked. "What would it take?" Andrew didn't have to think about it. "Show me your scars.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: I don't believe in giving
Andrew's bare feet were silent against the carpet, but Neil saw a blur of colors on the fogged-up mirror and turned. Andrew studied his chest with a bored look, but the fingers he pressed to Neil's scars were a heavy and lingering weight. Neil waited to see if he had anything to say, but Andrew hadn't spoken to anyone since they checked out of the hotel in Baltimore. Neil doubted the others had noticed, since Andrew rarely talked to even Kevin or Nicky now that he was sober, but Neil wasn't used to the silent treatment. "Hey," Neil said, just to make Andrew look up at him. Neil leaned in to kiss him, needing to know if Andrew would lean away or push him back. Instead Andrew opened his mouth to Neil without hesitation and slid his hand up Neil's chest to his throat.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Andrew's bare feet were silent
Neil said nothing. Andrew hooked his fingers in the collar of Neil's shirt and tugged just enough for Neil to feel it. "I know what I'm doing. I knew what I was agreeing to when I took Kevin's side. I knew what it could cost us and how far I'd have to go. Understand? You aren't going anywhere. You're staying here." Andrew didn't let go until Neil nodded, and then he reached for Neil's hand. He took his cigarette back, put it between his lips, and pressed a warm key into Neil's empty palm. Neil lifted his hand to look at it. The hardware logo engraved in it meant it was a copy. To what, Neil didn't know, but it only took him a moment to figure it out. Andrew used this key to unlock the front door and then took it off the ring on the porch. Now he was giving it to Neil. "Get some sleep," Andrew said. "We're going home tomorrow. We'll figure this out then." Andrew went around Neil to the front door. He had no sympathy or comfort for his family as they grieved Seth's unexpected death, but he would keep watch on them from the doorway until they were okay again. It was harder than it should have been for Neil to look away from him, but he finally set off down the hall.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Neil said nothing. Andrew hooked
We're okay," he said to the empty hall. "We're going to be okay." The Foxes would be okay, at least, and that was more than enough.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: We're okay,
This isn't about the Ravens. This is about you. This is about everything it took you to get to this point, everything it cost you, and everyone who laughed when you dared to dream of something big and bright. You're here tonight because you refused to give up and refused to give in. You're here where they all said you'd never be, and no one can say you haven't earned the right to play this game.
"All eyes are on you. It's time to show them what you're made of. There's no room for doubt, no room for second guesses, no room for error. This is your night. This is your game. This is your moment. Seize it with everything you've got. Pull out all the stops and lay it all on the line. Fight because you don't know how to die quietly. Win because you don't know how to lose. This king's ruled long enough - it's time to tear his castle down.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: This isn't about the Ravens.
A blade can be nothing but a blade. Only the hand that picks it up knows that there was ever anything else worth holding.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: A blade can be nothing
Neil had spent his entire life drifting by on the outskirts, looked over and looked past. It'd made him happy, or so he'd thought, because being ignored meant he was safe. He hadn't realized how lonely he was until he met the Foxes.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Neil had spent his entire
When I prove it, it puts a target on Seth's back and a paintbrush in your hands.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: When I prove it, it
Abby folded her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. She tried to be careful, but it hurt regardless. It wasn't pain that made Neil go still, but uncertainty. The only people who'd ever hugged Neil were his teammates, and those were quick squeezes throughout a good game. His mother had pulled him close before, but usually it was when they were sidestepping curious eyes and she wanted to shield him with her body. She'd never held him like he was something to be sheltered. She'd always been hard. She'd been fierce and unbreakable until the end.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Abby folded her arms around
Neil stared back at him, suddenly lost. He was fluent in two languages, nearly there in a third, and could string together some useful survival phrases in a half-dozen more. But with the whole truth bared between them Neil didn't have the right words to say. "You should have thrown my file away," Neil said at last. "You should have walked away when I threw your contract back in your face. But you took a chance on me and you brought me here. You saved my life. Three times," Neil said, "you've saved my life. I can't just say 'thank you' for that."
"You don't have to," Wymack said. "I brought you here, but you saved yourself. You're the one who decided to stay. You're the one who stopped being afraid long enough to realize you could get a grip here and a foothold there. You found your own way."
"If anything," Wymack continued when Neil tried to protest, "I should be thanking you. You told us last night you intended to end the year dead or in federal custody. You could have shut everyone and everything out and worried about yourself this year. Instead you agreed to help Dan fix this team. You're saving the two I thought we couldn't reach, and you're a living example for Kevin to follow. He never used to watch you," Wymack said, "but he's had eyes on you since December trying to figure out how you stand your ground.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Neil stared back at him,
He was something solid to lean against.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: He was something solid to
If you won't play with me, you'll play for me," Kevin said. "You're never going to get there on your own, so give your game to me.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: If you won't play with
He pulled Neil's head toward him and blew smoke in Neil's face.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: He pulled Neil's head toward
You are a conundrum," Andrew said. "Thank you." "No, thank you," Andrew said as he slipped past Neil without a look back. "I need a new toy to play with." "I'm not a toy." "I guess we'll see.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: You are a conundrum,
Neil sucked in a deep breath that ripped him open on its way down. "I'd ask you how it feels, but I guess you've always known what it's like to be second, you worthless piece of shit.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Neil sucked in a deep
On Neil's right shoulder was a burn scar, courtesy of getting smacked by a hot iron. Andrew put his left hand to it, fingertips lining up perfectly with the raised bumps the iron's holes had left behind. His right thumb found the puckered flesh from a bullet.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: On Neil's right shoulder was
There is no 'this'. This is nothing."

"And I am nothing," Neil prompted. When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said, "And as you've always said, you want nothing."

Andrew stared stone-faced back at him. Neil would have assumed it a silent rejection of Neil's veiled accusation if Andrew's hand hadn't frozen midair between them. Neil took the bottle from Andrew's other hand and set it off to one side where they couldn't knock it over.

"That's a first," Neil said. "Do I get a prize for shutting you up?"

"A quick death," Andrew said. "I've already decided where to hide your body."

"Six feet under?" Neil guessed.

"Stop talking," Andrew said, and kissed him.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: There is no 'this'. This
He remembered Andrew's hand over his mouth in Exites as he backed out of their conversation. He thought of Andrew yielding to his prodding and holding him up when Neil needed him most. Andrew had called him interesting and dangerous and had given him keys to his house and car. He'd trusted Neil with Kevin because Kevin was important to both of them and he knew Neil wouldn't let him down.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: He remembered Andrew's hand over
It sounded like a dream; it tasted like damnation. He
Nora Sakavic Quotes: It sounded like a dream;
You gave me a key and called it home.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: You gave me a key
Nicky pulled a protein bar from the mix and passed it to Neil. Neil tried pulling the foil wrapper open and hissed through clenched teeth at the burn in his knuckles. Andrew took the bar from him, ripped it open in one easy swipe, and dumped it in Neil's waiting hands.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Nicky pulled a protein bar
You wouldn't trust me to pick out your costume, would you? I'd probably make you a French maid or something. Come on.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: You wouldn't trust me to
Andrew kissed him like this was a fight with their lives on the line, like his world stopped and started with Neil's mouth.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Andrew kissed him like this
As he slipped the lock into place again he realized his hand was trembling. He held up his shaky fingers where he could see them better and wondered at the equally weak flutter in his chest.

Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: As he slipped the lock
You can't cut down someone who's already in the gutter.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: You can't cut down someone
The buzzer went off again, and Neil's heart stopped. The ringing in his ears wasn't all him. His teammates were screaming, wordless war cries of disbelief and victory.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: The buzzer went off again,
If you always got what you deserved, you wouldn't be a Fox.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: If you always got what
I'm sorry."
"Say it again and I will kill you.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: I'm sorry."Say it again" title="Nora Sakavic Quotes: I'm sorry."
"Say it again" width="913px" height="515px" loading="lazy"/>
But Neil Josten was a Fox. Andrew called his home; Nicky called him family. Neil wasn't going to lose any of it.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: But Neil Josten was a
Neil should let it go, but he needed to understand. "Why not?" "Because you're too stupid to tell me no," Andrew said. "And you don't want me to tell you yes?" "This isn't yes. This is a nervous breakdown. I know the difference even if you don't." Andrew dug his thumb into his lower lip like he could erase the weight of Neil's mouth and fixed his stare on the horizon. "I won't be like them. I won't let you let me be." Neil opened his mouth, closed it, and tried again. "The next time one of them says you're soulless I might have to fight them." "Ninety-two percent," Andrew said, "going on ninety-three." It
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Neil should let it go,
No one's said a word to them since they said we couldn't see you." Nathaniel's heart skipped a beat. The heat that gnawed at his chest was an ugly mix of gratitude and shame. He tried to speak but had to clear his throat before trying again. "But why? I've done nothing but lie to them. I willingly put them all in danger so I could play a little longer. They got hurt last night because of me. Why would they protect me now?" "You are a Fox," Andrew said, like it was that simple, and maybe it was. Nathaniel dropped his eyes and worked his jaw, fighting for a center he was quickly losing hold of.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: No one's said a word
He ran until he couldn't breathe, but he never stopped hurting.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: He ran until he couldn't
Let Riko be King," Kevin said, with the exaggerated enunciation of the thoroughly sloshed. "Most coveted, most protected. He'll sacrifice every piece he has to protect his throne. Whatever. Me?" Kevin gestured again, meaning to indicate himself but too drunk to get his hand higher than his waist. "I'm going to be the deadliest piece on the board." "Queen,
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Let Riko be King,
Neil felt a half-second from losing his mind, but then Andrew said his name and Neil's thoughts ground to a startled halt. He was belatedly aware of his hand at his ear and his fingers clenched tight around his phone. He didn't remember pulling it from his pocket or making the decision to dial out. He lowered it and tapped a button, thinking maybe he'd imagined things, but Andrew's name was on his display and the timer put the call at almost a minute already. Neil put the phone back to his ear, but he couldn't find the words for the wretched feeling that was tearing away at him. In three months championships would be over. In four months he'd be dead. In five months the Foxes would be right back here for summer practices with six new faces. Neil could count his life on one hand now. On the other hand was the future he couldn't have: vice-captain, captain, Court. Neil had no right to mourn these missed chances. He'd gotten more than he deserved this year; it was selfish to ask for more. He should be grateful for what he had, and gladder still that his death would mean something. He was going to drag his father and the Moriyamas down with him when he went, and they'd never recover from the things he said. It was justice when he'd never thought he'd get any and revenge for his mother's death. He thought he'd come to terms with it but that hollow ache was back in his chest where it had no right to be. Neil felt like he was drowning. Neil found his voice at last, but the best he h
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Neil felt a half-second from
Liar. But that's what makes you interesting. It's also what makes you dangerous. I should know better by now. Maybe I'm not as smart as I thought I was. Should I be disappointed or amused?
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Liar. But that's what makes
He didn't want to think about this, didn't want to feel this, so he thought about the Foxes instead. He clung tight to the memory of their unhesitating friendship and their smiles. He pretended the heartbeat pounding a sick pace in his temples was an Exy ball ricocheting off the court walls. He thought of Wymack holding him up in December and Andrew pushing him down against the bedroom floor. The memories made him weak with grief and loss, but they made him stronger, too. He'd come to the Foxhole Court every inch a lie, but his friends made him into someone real. He'd hit the end of his rope before he wanted to and he hadn't accomplished everything he'd hoped to this year, but he'd done more with his life than he'd ever thought possible. That had to be enough. He traced the outline of a key into his bloody, burnt palm with a shaky finger, closed his eyes, and wished Neil Josten goodbye.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: He didn't want to think
I'd rather find out exactly why and when you two hooked up than think about this awfulness any longer, so let's talk about that on the ride back instead." Aaron's
Nora Sakavic Quotes: I'd rather find out exactly
Kevin didn't care who he offended and kept his eyes on Dan. "If you'll actually get the ball to us, we can do something with it." Matt looked at Andrew. "One of these days you have to let me hit him." Andrew
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Kevin didn't care who he
No one needs to eat this before a game," Kevin said. "Eat some granola or protein if you're that hungry."
"Hello, there's protein in the peanut butter," Nicky said. "Let go of me before I tell Andrew you're outlawing chocolate. I said let go. You're not the boss of me. Ouch! Did you seriously just hit me?"
"I'm walking away and pretending I don't know you," Aaron said.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: No one needs to eat
I can't." It was too ragged and too honest, but Neil couldn't help it. If he didn't get rid of that phone he was going to be sick. "Nicky, I - " "Okay, okay," Nicky said, taking Neil's hand in both of his. "We'll figure it out." Neil thought he'd feel better when Nicky had the phone, but the overwhelming sense of loss still knotted up his lungs. He tugged his hand free and took the bags of clothes Nicky had hooked over his arm. He didn't have to ask for the keys. Andrew pilfered them from Nicky's pocket and held them up in offering. Neil grabbed them, but Andrew held on for a moment. Andrew leaned forward on his perch and smiled at Neil. "Hey, Neil. Honesty looks awful on you.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: I can't.
Andrew pressed two fingers to the underside of Nathaniel's chin to turn his head. Nathaniel let himself be guided and said nothing while Andrew looked his fill. When Andrew dropped his hand and clenched it in Nathaniel's hoodie, Nathaniel risked looking back at him. There was violence in Andrew's eyes, but at least he hadn't shoved Nathaniel away yet. That had to count for something. "I'm sorry," Nathaniel said. Andrew's fist went back, but he didn't take the swing. Nathaniel knew it wasn't because that was the hand cuffed to Wymack; Andrew's arm actually shook with the effort it took to not knock Nathaniel's head off his neck. Nathaniel said nothing to tip the balance either way. At length Andrew uncurled his fingers and let his hand hang limp from the cuff. "Say it again and I will kill you," he said.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Andrew pressed two fingers to
Neil's grief was a knife spinning circles in his stomach, tearing him to shreds from the inside out until he could barely breathe.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Neil's grief was a knife
Andrew put a finger to the underside of Neil's chin and forced Neil's head up until they were looking at each other. "On that day you're not going to run. You're going to think about what I promised you and you're going to make the call. Tell me you understand." Neil's
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Andrew put a finger to
Welcome to the Foxhole Court.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Welcome to the Foxhole Court.
Why does Roland think you're tying me down?
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Why does Roland think you're
With that, Andrew caught Neil's face in his hands and leaned in.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: With that, Andrew caught Neil's
It's always been 'go'. It's always been 'lie' and 'hide' and 'disappear'. I've never belonged anywhere or had the right to call anything my own. But Coach gave me keys to the court, and you told me to stay. You gave me a key and called it home. I haven't had a home since my parents died.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: It's always been 'go'. It's
Whether Neil left today or tomorrow or next week, he'd leave alone. Two, five, ten years from now, if Neil was even still alive, he'd still be alone. He could be anyone, anywhere in the world, but he'd be alone until the day he died. He'd never trust anyone enough to let them in.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Whether Neil left today or
Then it's time to stop being the worst," Wymack said. "It's time to fly.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Then it's time to stop
Thank you," he finally said. He couldn't say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. "You were amazing.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Thank you,
Scarred was better than dead, so Neil figured he'd get over the stares eventually.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Scarred was better than dead,
Aaron opened his mouth, closed it again, and fixed Nicky with an annoyed look. "You're explaining this to Andrew when he gets back." "Oh, hell no," Nicky said, and jerked a thumb at Neil. "I'mma leave that one to him. Thanks for taking one for the team, Neil. You're a real friend." Nicky grinned over at Neil, but his amusement didn't last. He seemed confused by whatever he saw on Neil's face and backpedaled with, "Don't worry, we'll send Renee along with you for backup. Last I checked Andrew only wins half their fights, so you might actually survive. Uh. Neil?" He should just let it go, or at least leave it to think about later, but Neil couldn't resist. "Are we?" he asked, because hadn't Betsy said it just a few days ago? He hadn't understood it then and hadn't even tried, too angry and upset over everything else that was happening. Tonight it almost meant something, though what, Neil didn't know. Realizing Nicky couldn't follow his twisting train of thought, Neil forced himself to say, "Friends?" It was like that one word punched all the joy out of Nicky, but the look that crossed Nicky's face next was too fast for Neil to decipher. Nicky's smile was back a second later, but it didn't reach his eyes. Neil might have apologized, except Nicky reached out and scrubbed a gloved hand through Neil's hair. "You are going to be the absolute death of me," Nicky said. "Yeah, kid. We're friends. You're stuck with us, like it or not.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Aaron opened his mouth, closed
If you have to keep asking - I'll answer it as many times as you ask. But this is always going to be yes."
"Don't 'always' me.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: If you have to keep
Don't look back, don't slow down, and don't trust anyone. Be anyone but himself, and never be anyone for too long.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Don't look back, don't slow
Andrew was the Foxes' freshman goalkeeper and their deadliest investment.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Andrew was the Foxes' freshman
Yes or no?"
"It's always yes with you."
"Except when it's no."
"If you have to keep asking because - I'll answer it as many times as you ask. But this is always going to be yes."
"Don't 'always' me."
"Don't ask for the truth if you're just going to dilute it.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Yes or no?"It's always" title="Nora Sakavic Quotes: Yes or no?"
"It's always" width="913px" height="515px" loading="lazy"/>
Revenge is a motivator only for the weak-willed.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Revenge is a motivator only
The Foxhole Court was the only home he needed; he Foxes were his family.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: The Foxhole Court was the
It was a heavy, so it only took one hit. If Andrew gave you the p-card, that means the police are keeping my racquet, aren't they?"
"Would you want it back?" Betsy asked.
"Do you have any idea how much it cost?" Neil asked. "Yes, I want it back."
"It wouldn't bother you that it was used as a murder weapon?"
"It didn't kill anyone important.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: It was a heavy, so
You flounder when they call you 'friend'; you'd probably have a psychotic break when they freaked out over you.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: You flounder when they call
I tried taking you off his hands at one point." When Neil looked at her in surprise, Renee affected an innocent look that for once was not entirely convincing. "Andrew refused on the grounds he wouldn't wish you on anyone except a mortician."
"Drama queen," Neil muttered.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: I tried taking you off
Andrew was smiling, but Neil knew his cheer didn't mean he was going to play nice. He'd been smiling when he smashed a racquet into Neil's stomach, too. Nicholas
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Andrew was smiling, but Neil
Hopefully hearing about all of this," he jerked his chin as if to indicate Andrew's upcoming departure, "will get him moving, but who knows when it comes to those two? Speaking of unpredictable assholes, when did that happen?" "When did what?" Neil asked. Wymack eyed him. "Forget it.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Hopefully hearing about all of
You were amazing." He
Nora Sakavic Quotes: You were amazing.
The only one I'm interested in is you.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: The only one I'm interested
Here," Aaron said, handing Neil a scrap of paper. "Take this before I forget it."
It was a short list of names and numbers in bubbly blue print. Nicky leaned over to see and made a dismissive noise. "Seriously, Aaron?"
"Dan asked me to get a list from Katelyn," Aaron said.
"Who are these people?" Neil asked.
"They're the single Vixens."
"They're all women," Nicky said. "That doesn't help us."
"Nicky," Neil started.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Here,
Renee says the upperclassmen are betting on your sexuality."
"It's a waste of time and money. They'll all lose. I've said all year I don't swing and I meant it. Kissing you doesn't make me look at any of them differently. The only one I'm interested in is you.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Renee says the upperclassmen are
This wasn't a practice anymore; it was a fight. Andrew was trying to cut Kevin off at the pass, and Kevin was daring Andrew to keep up somehow. Exy had been a raw point between them since they'd met. It was the critical part of their friendship Andrew refused to acknowledge and Kevin couldn't fix, a dream Andrew wouldn't believe in and Kevin couldn't give up on. This was a shootout years in the making, and Neil could barely breathe as he watched them struggle.
Neil was relegated to the sidelines still, but tonight he didn't mind as much. He saw his future in every shot fired and deflected, every point stolen and thwarted, and he could barely breathe through his excitement.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: This wasn't a practice anymore;
Time was nothing. Seconds were days, were years, were the breaths that caught between their mouths and the bite of Neil's fingernails against his palms, the scrape of teeth against his lower lip and the warm slide of a tongue against his.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Time was nothing. Seconds were
He dreamed of facing his father on an Exy court, and in his dream the Foxes won.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: He dreamed of facing his
Neil watched it so he wouldn't stare at Andrew, but if someone asked him later what it was about he wouldn't be able to tell them. He was sure he still felt Andrew's heartbeat on his skin when he went to bed a few hours later.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Neil watched it so he
When's the last time Andrew saw fit to talk to you at all?" Neil asked.
"Last Wednesday," Aaron reminded him. It wasn't the answer Neil expected. He'd laid the groundwork for Aaron and Andrew's therapy and it'd been weeks since Aaron first muscled his way into one of Andrew's sessions, but this was the first hint that they were actually doing something real with that time. Aaron's awful attitude that first Wednesday was the only reaction they'd ever gotten from the brothers. Neil had assumed the two were still getting nowhere fast. Triumph was a quiet, smoldering heat in his stomach.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: When's the last time Andrew
Just so you know, it makes no difference to me either way," Matt said, "except I would have seriously judged your taste a couple days ago."
Neil assumed Andrew's territorial streak in Baltimore had a lot to do with Matt's change of heart. "Did he really choke Kevin?"
"Took three of us to pull him off," Matt said.
Neil didn't know what to say to that.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Just so you know, it
Money greases the wheels of the world easier than blood does, and Riko has access to both.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Money greases the wheels of
Neil studied his face, looking for a hint of the earlier fathomless anger and finding nothing. Despite Andrew's unfriendly words, his expression and tone were calm. He said these things like they meant nothing to him. Neil didn't know if it was a mask or the truth. Was Andrew hiding that rage from Neil or from himself? Maybe the monster was buried where neither of them could find it until Neil crossed another unforgivable line. "Good," Neil said at length. Tugging a sleeping dragon's tail sounded like a good way to die a painful death, but Neil would be dead before Andrew's protection wore off. "I want to see you lose control." Andrew went still with his hand halfway to the vodka. "Last year you wanted to live. Now you seem hell-bent on getting killed. If I felt like playing another round with you right now, I would ask why you've had a change of heart. As it stands, I've had enough of your stupidity to last me a week. Go back inside and bother the others now." Neil feigned confusion as he got to his feet. "Am I bothering you?" "Beyond the telling." "Interesting," Neil said. "Last week you said nothing gets under your skin.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Neil studied his face, looking
After everything they did to you, how can you stand me?" Neil asked...He gestured between them knowing Andrew would understand. "How is this okay?"
"It isn't a this," Andrew said.
"That's not what I'm asking. You know it isn't-Andrew wait!" he insisted but Andrew was turning away like he couldn't hear Neil anymore.
Neil reached for him, unwilling to let him leave without a real answer.
"No," Andrew said and Neil's hand froze a breath from Andrew's arm.
Andrew went still as well and they stood for a minute in awful silence.
Finally, Andrew looked back at him, but for a moment, Neil didn't know who he was looking at. In the space of one breath, Andrew's expression went so dark Neil almost retreated. Then Andrew was back, as calm and uncaring as always and he caught Neil's wrist to push his hand to his side. He dug his fingers in before letting go, not quite hard enough to hurt and said, "that's why."
Neil stopped when Andrew told him to. I wasn't much but it was more than enough.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: After everything they did to
Why?" Neil asked. "Why would you help me?" "Ask me later," Andrew said. He tapped bloody fingers to his mouth and grinned at Neil around them. "It's better if this isn't in the way, don't you think?
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Why?
A group of people shouldered their way up to the bar counter at Neil's back, pushing him into Andrew. Andrew didn't budge beneath his weight. He was something solid to lean against, something violent and fierce and unmoving. Neil couldn't remember what it felt like to have someone hold him up. It was terrifying and liberating all at once. His life was out of his control now; he was giving it to Andrew and hoping Andrew would keep it safe.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: A group of people shouldered
We've all got different experiences, but we're used to needing help. We're just not used to getting it. But you've got us now.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: We've all got different experiences,
You don't think he's crazy now?"
"Crazy, nah," Nicky said. "Soulless, perhaps.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: You don't think he's crazy
Trying to remember fear, or trying to remember how to feel anything at all?
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Trying to remember fear, or
Death was unpleasant, but it was a familiar and tolerable ache in his chest.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Death was unpleasant, but it
Oh, Neil!" Andrew wiggled his cigarette at Neil in greeting.
"Hello."
"Can we talk?" Neil asked.
"Today's not a good day," Andrew said. "Try again tomorrow."
"I wouldn't crash your birthday party if it wasn't important."
Andrew grinned. "Sarcasm from Neil? Your repertoire of talents is ever-expanding."
"Two minutes," Neil said.
"So persistent.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Oh, Neil!
We're Foxes. Something is always going wrong.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: We're Foxes. Something is always
Honesty suited Andrew because he was an instigator at heart and his opinions were often unpopular.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Honesty suited Andrew because he
Neil didn't know what sound he made but Andrew's fingers were a sudden and unforgiving weight on the back of his neck. Andrew pushed him forward and held him down. Neil tried to breathe but his chest was as tight as a rubber band ready to snap.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Neil didn't know what sound
You were supposed to be like me.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: You were supposed to be
As he listened to them, Neil realised he was happy. It was such an unexpected and unfamiliar feeling he lost track of the conversation for a minute.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: As he listened to them,
Look. Shit happened. Shit's going to keep happening. You don't need me to tell your life isn't fair. You're here because you know it isn't. Life doesn't care what we want out of it; it's up to us to fight for what we want with everything we've got. Seth wanted us to win. He wanted us to make it past the fourth match. I think we owe it to him to perform. Let's show the world what we've got. Let's make this our year.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Look. Shit happened. Shit's going
Looking at them all, Neil was as sad as he was proud.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Looking at them all, Neil
Then why did you come here?" Andrew asked. "Because I'm tired," Neil said, trying to sound defeated. It didn't take much effort. "I have nowhere else to go, and I'm too jealous of Kevin to stay away from him. He knows what it's like to hate every day of his life, to wake up afraid every day, but he's got you at his back telling him everything's going to be okay. He has everything, even when he's lost everything, and I'm - " Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, " - nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Then why did you come
Kevin's not allowed to drive your car but Renee is?" Neil asked. "It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Kevin's not allowed to drive
Don't make me hurt you," Andrew said. "I don't want blood in my ice cream.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Don't make me hurt you,
They'd never be perfect, but they were going to be all right.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: They'd never be perfect, but
They're not fast enough," Andrew said.

He had to mean their defense line, so Neil said, "I know."

"Are you tired?" Andrew asked.

It wasn't concern, Neil knew, but that didn't make it a less confusing question. He hadn't gotten the ball often enough tonight to be tired, but he couldn't say that with Matt standing two feet away from him. "Not yet."

"Then I'm taking my turn. Matt," Andrew said, and Matt turned toward them immediately. Andrew lifted a finger from his racquet to point at Neil. "We're subbing Dan for Neil and Neil for you."

Matt stared. "We're what?
Nora Sakavic Quotes: They're not fast enough,
They were exhausted, sore, and more than a little disappointed by their loss, but the Foxes left the stadium feeling like champions.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: They were exhausted, sore, and
Neil thought about Renee's bruised knuckles, Dan's fierce spirit, and Allison holding her ground on the court a week after Seth's death. He thought about his mother standing unflinching in the face of his father's violent anger and her ruthlessly leaving bodies in their wake. He felt compelled to say, "Some of the strongest people I've known are women.
Nora Sakavic Quotes: Neil thought about Renee's bruised
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