Nora Sakavic Quotes

Neil felt a half-second from losing his mind, but then Andrew said his name and Neil's thoughts ground to a startled halt. He was belatedly aware of his hand at his ear and his fingers clenched tight around his phone. He didn't remember pulling it from his pocket or making the decision to dial out. He lowered it and tapped a button, thinking maybe he'd imagined things, but Andrew's name was on his display and the timer put the call at almost a minute already. Neil put the phone back to his ear, but he couldn't find the words for the wretched feeling that was tearing away at him. In three months championships would be over. In four months he'd be dead. In five months the Foxes would be right back here for summer practices with six new faces. Neil could count his life on one hand now. On the other hand was the future he couldn't have: vice-captain, captain, Court. Neil had no right to mourn these missed chances. He'd gotten more than he deserved this year; it was selfish to ask for more. He should be grateful for what he had, and gladder still that his death would mean something. He was going to drag his father and the Moriyamas down with him when he went, and they'd never recover from the things he said. It was justice when he'd never thought he'd get any and revenge for his mother's death. He thought he'd come to terms with it but that hollow ache was back in his chest where it had no right to be. Neil felt like he was drowning. Neil found his voice at last, but the best he h ~ Nora Sakavic

On Neil's right shoulder was a burn scar, courtesy of getting smacked by a hot iron. Andrew put his left hand to it, fingertips lining up perfectly with the raised bumps the iron's holes had left behind. His right thumb found the puckered flesh from a bullet. ~ Nora Sakavic

I'm stupid, remember? I need things spelled out."
"Shut up."
"Am I at ninety-four yet?"
"You are at one hundred. ~ Nora Sakavic

Thank you," he finally said. He couldn't say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. "You were amazing. ~ Nora Sakavic

You are a conundrum," Andrew said. "Thank you." "No, thank you," Andrew said as he slipped past Neil without a look back. "I need a new toy to play with." "I'm not a toy." "I guess we'll see. ~ Nora Sakavic

A group of people shouldered their way up to the bar counter at Neil's back, pushing him into Andrew. Andrew didn't budge beneath his weight. He was something solid to lean against, something violent and fierce and unmoving. Neil couldn't remember what it felt like to have someone hold him up. It was terrifying and liberating all at once. His life was out of his control now; he was giving it to Andrew and hoping Andrew would keep it safe. ~ Nora Sakavic

Abby folded her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. She tried to be careful, but it hurt regardless. It wasn't pain that made Neil go still, but uncertainty. The only people who'd ever hugged Neil were his teammates, and those were quick squeezes throughout a good game. His mother had pulled him close before, but usually it was when they were sidestepping curious eyes and she wanted to shield him with her body. She'd never held him like he was something to be sheltered. She'd always been hard. She'd been fierce and unbreakable until the end. ~ Nora Sakavic

With that, Andrew caught Neil's face in his hands and leaned in. ~ Nora Sakavic

As he listened to them, Neil realised he was happy. It was such an unexpected and unfamiliar feeling he lost track of the conversation for a minute. ~ Nora Sakavic

Do your teammates still think you're the quiet one?" Andrew asked. ~ Nora Sakavic

I can see it. You've got that look in your eye that says you know where every exit to this dormitory is. ~ Nora Sakavic

Andrew was the Foxes' freshman goalkeeper and their deadliest investment. ~ Nora Sakavic

When I prove it, it puts a target on Seth's back and a paintbrush in your hands. ~ Nora Sakavic

He pulled Neil's head toward him and blew smoke in Neil's face. ~ Nora Sakavic

Kevin started to say something Neil knew would be negative and dismissing. Neil reached behind Andrew and popped Kevin in the back of the head to shut him up. Matt choked on a laugh and tried unsuccessfully to pass it off as a cough. Kevin froze for a startled second, then sent Neil a scathing look.
"No one wants to hear that right now," Neil said.
"If you hit me again," Kevin started.
Andrew cut in with a casual, "You'll what? ~ Nora Sakavic

He was their family. They were his. They were worth every cut and bruise and scream. ~ Nora Sakavic

Neil worried for a moment what they'd do with Andrew's rude brand of teamwork at their backs, but the next time he got a good look at Matt, Matt was grinning like this was the most fun he'd had in years. It ~ Nora Sakavic

Oh, Neil, unpredictable as he is unreal. ~ Nora Sakavic

I want you to stop taking cracker dust." "And he says it isn't a righteous streak," Andrew mused, more to himself than to Neil. "If it was righteousness I'd ask you to give up drinking and smoking, too," Neil said. "I'm only asking for this one thing. It doesn't have any effect on you anyway and it's an unnecessary risk. You don't need a third addiction." "I don't need anything," Andrew reminded him, right on cue. "If you don't need it, it'll be easy to give it up," Neil said. "Right?" Andrew thought it over a minute, then flicked his cigarette at Neil. It singed the material where it bounced off his shirt. Neil ground it out under his shoe when it hit the asphalt. The cool look he flicked Andrew was wasted; Andrew's gaze had already drifted past him in search of something more interesting. "I'm going to take your temper tantrum as a yes," Neil said. "I'll bring the money by your room tonight. ~ Nora Sakavic

Dan gestured past Neil toward the changing room. "What happened?" Neil counted it off on his fingers. "Kevin told them Coach is his father, said he's never going back to Edgar Allan, and called the Ravens out as two-faced assholes. Oh," he said, looking up from his hand, "and he said his injury wasn't an accident. Not in so many words, but it won't take them long to figure out what he meant." Dan gaped. "He what?" "Great," Wymack said. "He's turning into another you. That's just what I needed. ~ Nora Sakavic

Family means something different with us because it has to. It's not about blood. It's not even about who we like. It's about who Andrew's willing to protect. ~ Nora Sakavic

Giving up on Neil now goes against everything we are," Wymack said. ~ Nora Sakavic

They don't feel right," he said. "A tear for your discomfort," Andrew said, completely unsympathetic. "And you said I have no team spirit," Neil muttered. "Never claimed I did either." Andrew grinned and shrugged. "You're the fool who gave him your game. Reap what you sow or burn the field down, the choice is yours. Be smarter next time, would you? ~ Nora Sakavic

This was everything he wanted, everything he needed, and Neil was never letting go. ~ Nora Sakavic

I'm not a pipe dream. I'm not going anywhere. ~ Nora Sakavic

Remember this feeling. This is the moment you stop being the rabbit. ~ Nora Sakavic

Are we going to talk about this?" she asked. "You might want to avoid Aaron for a couple days." "That was already the plan," Dan said. "What the hell is going on?" "I'm doing what you asked me to do," Neil said. "I'm fixing them." "That's not what it looked like." Neil shrugged, poked his noodles, and restarted the timer. "If a bone isn't healing straight, you have no choice but to break it. They'll be fine." Matt leaned against the doorframe and arched a brow at Neil. "That's not exactly reassuring. From you 'fine' could mean anything from 'I'm going to hitchhike across the state' to 'I'm beaten to a bloody pulp but I can still hold a racquet'." "Did you bet on them?" Neil asked. Realizing Matt couldn't follow his train of thought, he said, "Aaron and Katelyn." "Everyone except Andrew bet on them," Matt said. "It's not a matter of them working out. It's a matter of when." Neil considered that. "Then they'll be fine. ~ Nora Sakavic

They'd never be perfect, but they were going to be all right. ~ Nora Sakavic

Neil stared back at him, suddenly lost. He was fluent in two languages, nearly there in a third, and could string together some useful survival phrases in a half-dozen more. But with the whole truth bared between them Neil didn't have the right words to say. "You should have thrown my file away," Neil said at last. "You should have walked away when I threw your contract back in your face. But you took a chance on me and you brought me here. You saved my life. Three times," Neil said, "you've saved my life. I can't just say 'thank you' for that."
"You don't have to," Wymack said. "I brought you here, but you saved yourself. You're the one who decided to stay. You're the one who stopped being afraid long enough to realize you could get a grip here and a foothold there. You found your own way."
"If anything," Wymack continued when Neil tried to protest, "I should be thanking you. You told us last night you intended to end the year dead or in federal custody. You could have shut everyone and everything out and worried about yourself this year. Instead you agreed to help Dan fix this team. You're saving the two I thought we couldn't reach, and you're a living example for Kevin to follow. He never used to watch you," Wymack said, "but he's had eyes on you since December trying to figure out how you stand your ground. ~ Nora Sakavic

You gave me a key and called it home. ~ Nora Sakavic

Looking at them all, Neil was as sad as he was proud. ~ Nora Sakavic

Give your back to me. ~ Nora Sakavic

When I'm playing, I feel like I have control over something. I feel like I have the power to change things. I feel more real out there than I do anywhere else. The court doesn't care what my name is or where I come from or where I'll be tomorrow. It lets me exist. ~ Nora Sakavic

Kevin gestured feebly to Neil, so Neil pressed the bandage back into place over swollen, reddened skin. Neil dropped his hand back to his side and clenched his fingers into a fist to hide the excited tremor. He doubted either Kevin or Andrew noticed; they were too busy staring each other down. At length Andrew smiled, slow and cold. It was the first time he'd smiled since coming off his drugs, and Neil couldn't help but stare.
"Now it's getting fun," Andrew said.
"Finally," Kevin said, equal parts exhaustion and exasperation. It took both of them to get
...Neil felt completely recharged as he stared up at Kevin's bunk. He was unsteady on his feet, too buzzed to stand still. The darkness should have hidden the jittery wreck he'd become, but Andrew wasn't fooled. He jabbed Neil's shoulder on his way back out of the room. Neil tore his gaze away from Kevin's unconscious form and followed. Andrew pushed him up against the wall with heavy hands and hard kisses.
"Junkie."
"I've been waiting for that since June," Neil said. "You've been waiting longer." Andrew didn't bother denying it. ~ Nora Sakavic

Andrew's bare feet were silent against the carpet, but Neil saw a blur of colors on the fogged-up mirror and turned. Andrew studied his chest with a bored look, but the fingers he pressed to Neil's scars were a heavy and lingering weight. Neil waited to see if he had anything to say, but Andrew hadn't spoken to anyone since they checked out of the hotel in Baltimore. Neil doubted the others had noticed, since Andrew rarely talked to even Kevin or Nicky now that he was sober, but Neil wasn't used to the silent treatment. "Hey," Neil said, just to make Andrew look up at him. Neil leaned in to kiss him, needing to know if Andrew would lean away or push him back. Instead Andrew opened his mouth to Neil without hesitation and slid his hand up Neil's chest to his throat. ~ Nora Sakavic

Riko's smile could have frozen hell. "I'm not scared of Kevin. I know him."
"You're going to eat those words," Neil said. "You're going to choke on them. ~ Nora Sakavic

There is no 'this'. This is nothing."

"And I am nothing," Neil prompted. When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said, "And as you've always said, you want nothing."

Andrew stared stone-faced back at him. Neil would have assumed it a silent rejection of Neil's veiled accusation if Andrew's hand hadn't frozen midair between them. Neil took the bottle from Andrew's other hand and set it off to one side where they couldn't knock it over.

"That's a first," Neil said. "Do I get a prize for shutting you up?"

"A quick death," Andrew said. "I've already decided where to hide your body."

"Six feet under?" Neil guessed.

"Stop talking," Andrew said, and kissed him. ~ Nora Sakavic

Jean turned on Kevin and spoke in quick, furious French. "What the hell is this?" "His antagonism is a personality flaw we're learning to live with," Kevin said. ~ Nora Sakavic

I'd rather find out exactly why and when you two hooked up than think about this awfulness any longer, so let's talk about that on the ride back instead." Aaron's ~ Nora Sakavic

You know, I get it. Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court - yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time. I know it's not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you're physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don't think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago. So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone. ~ Nora Sakavic

Then why did you come here?" Andrew asked. "Because I'm tired," Neil said, trying to sound defeated. It didn't take much effort. "I have nowhere else to go, and I'm too jealous of Kevin to stay away from him. He knows what it's like to hate every day of his life, to wake up afraid every day, but he's got you at his back telling him everything's going to be okay. He has everything, even when he's lost everything, and I'm - " Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, " - nothing. I'll always have and be nothing. ~ Nora Sakavic

It's not the world that's cruel. It's the people in it. ~ Nora Sakavic

god-damn it Minyard. this is why we cant have nice things. ~ Nora Sakavic

Four of Dan's sisters had made it. They wore white sundresses they'd altered so three spelled out FOX. The fourth sported a fox paw that was already starting to lose a toe pad. They practically crushed Dan, smothering her with a group hug before fawning over her. ~ Nora Sakavic

Andrew raised a hand to Neil's face but stopped with his fingers just a breath from Neil's skin. Andrew wasn't looking at his injuries; he was staring at Neil's unguarded eyes. "Did I break my promise or were you keeping yours? ~ Nora Sakavic

Neil studied his face, looking for a hint of the earlier fathomless anger and finding nothing. Despite Andrew's unfriendly words, his expression and tone were calm. He said these things like they meant nothing to him. Neil didn't know if it was a mask or the truth. Was Andrew hiding that rage from Neil or from himself? Maybe the monster was buried where neither of them could find it until Neil crossed another unforgivable line. "Good," Neil said at length. Tugging a sleeping dragon's tail sounded like a good way to die a painful death, but Neil would be dead before Andrew's protection wore off. "I want to see you lose control." Andrew went still with his hand halfway to the vodka. "Last year you wanted to live. Now you seem hell-bent on getting killed. If I felt like playing another round with you right now, I would ask why you've had a change of heart. As it stands, I've had enough of your stupidity to last me a week. Go back inside and bother the others now." Neil feigned confusion as he got to his feet. "Am I bothering you?" "Beyond the telling." "Interesting," Neil said. "Last week you said nothing gets under your skin. ~ Nora Sakavic

When you know what someone wants, it's easy to manipulate them. ~ Nora Sakavic

Money greases the wheels of the world easier than blood does, and Riko has access to both. ~ Nora Sakavic

No one needs to eat this before a game," Kevin said. "Eat some granola or protein if you're that hungry."
"Hello, there's protein in the peanut butter," Nicky said. "Let go of me before I tell Andrew you're outlawing chocolate. I said let go. You're not the boss of me. Ouch! Did you seriously just hit me?"
"I'm walking away and pretending I don't know you," Aaron said. ~ Nora Sakavic

It sounded like a dream; it tasted like damnation. He ~ Nora Sakavic

They were exhausted, sore, and more than a little disappointed by their loss, but the Foxes left the stadium feeling like champions. ~ Nora Sakavic

Oh, Coach." Andrew tossed his hands up in a helpless shrug. "You can't even imagine how much fun we are having right now. It's overwhelming. Give us a minute to catch our breaths before our hearts explode in our chest. ~ Nora Sakavic

Instead Wymack snapped his fingers at Neil and jerked his thumb toward the court door. "Tell your pet psycho to knock it off before he cripples someone." "I don't think he'll listen to me," Neil said. "You and I both know he will. Now get. ~ Nora Sakavic

Neil looked up, ready to turn Nicky down, but Andrew had come up beside Nicky in the doorway. Neil looked at him and thought about Nicky's worried appeal last fall, the warning that one day Exy wouldn't be enough on its own. It could be a safe haven from his thoughts and a reason to get up and the inspiration to fight harder. It could mean the world to him, but it couldn't be everything. It couldn't fill in the broken pieces of him the way the Foxes did. It wouldn't drop everything to get him from the airport or come back for him without question or call him "friend". Neil built his life around Exy after his mother died because he needed something to live for, but Neil wasn't alone anymore. ~ Nora Sakavic

Liar. But that's what makes you interesting. It's also what makes you dangerous. I should know better by now. Maybe I'm not as smart as I thought I was. Should I be disappointed or amused? ~ Nora Sakavic

Andrew was smiling, but Neil knew his cheer didn't mean he was going to play nice. He'd been smiling when he smashed a racquet into Neil's stomach, too. Nicholas ~ Nora Sakavic

If you won't play with me, you'll play for me," Kevin said. "You're never going to get there on your own, so give your game to me. ~ Nora Sakavic

Anytime the Foxes mentioned Andrew's upcoming sobriety or Andrew's name popped up in write-ups on the team's performance at games, the focus was on what a danger he was. People talked about his trial and how it saved them from Andrew. No one said what they were doing to save Andrew from himself. ~ Nora Sakavic

Neil thought about Renee's bruised knuckles, Dan's fierce spirit, and Allison holding her ground on the court a week after Seth's death. He thought about his mother standing unflinching in the face of his father's violent anger and her ruthlessly leaving bodies in their wake. He felt compelled to say, "Some of the strongest people I've known are women. ~ Nora Sakavic

Renee says the upperclassmen are betting on your sexuality."
"It's a waste of time and money. They'll all lose. I've said all year I don't swing and I meant it. Kissing you doesn't make me look at any of them differently. The only one I'm interested in is you. ~ Nora Sakavic

You were amazing." He ~ Nora Sakavic

Orange Notes promptly drowned them out with Palmetto's song. The ~ Nora Sakavic

Andrew has neither purpose nor ambition," Kevin said. "I was the first person who ever looked at Andrew and told him he was worth something. When he comes off these drugs and has nothing else to hold him up I will give him something to build his life around."

"He agreed to this?" Neil asked. "But he's fighting you every step of the way. Why?"

"When I first said you would be Court, why were you upset with me?"

"Because I knew it'd never happen," Neil said, "but I wanted it anyway. ~ Nora Sakavic

Instead he said, "Our game is over now, isn't it?"
"It's still my turn," Andrew pointed out.
"But after that?" Neil asked. "I have no secrets left to trade."
"Come up with something else."
"What would you take?"
"What would you give me?"
"Don't ask questions you already know the answer to," Neil said. Andrew slanted a bored look at him, unimpressed with having his own words tossed back in his face. ~ Nora Sakavic

Here's some honesty," Neil said. "I don't like you, and I don't trust you." "It's mutual," Andrew said. "That doesn't change anything. ~ Nora Sakavic

His thoughts should have kept him up all night, but with his friends this close Neil couldn't worry about anything. ~ Nora Sakavic

That was fantastic," Alvarez said. "I want to do it again. Next year, maybe, when my legs grow back." "Stop being such a baby," Laila said. "Ignore her," Alvarez said to Neil. "She's just sour because she lost nine goals in forty-five minutes. Don't know why, not like it's a new personal record or - ohhh, it is. Ouch, that's gotta sting a bit. So much for being first-draft. ~ Nora Sakavic

There's no way you could last a sit-down with Luther. He'd end up exorcising you when you snapped."
"It could be entertaining," Neil said. "It could be," Andrew allowed.
"Let's all go," Neil said. "Aaron will agree for Nicky's sake and Nicky can see if his parents have come around. There's no way you'll let Kevin that far out of your sights, so take him with you. I'll tag along so you can harass me instead of Luther. Imagine how uncomfortable Nicky's parents will be if they have to contend with the five of us."
"Or we could stay here."
"Not as interesting," Neil said.
"Appealing to my nonexistent attention span is a cheap trick," Andrew said.
"But is it effective?"
"You wish it was."
"Please?"
"I hate that word."
"Does your shrink know you have a grudge against half of the English language?" Neil asked, but Andrew only grinned. ~ Nora Sakavic

Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling. ~ Nora Sakavic

I thought you didn't want to leave." "I don't want to," Neil said. "What would it take to make you stay?" The ~ Nora Sakavic

It's not really about the food. It's about family. Not necessarily the one we were born with, but the one we chose. This one," Nicky emphasized, gesturing between them. "The people we trust to be part of our lives. The people we care about. ~ Nora Sakavic

It was a heavy, so it only took one hit. If Andrew gave you the p-card, that means the police are keeping my racquet, aren't they?"
"Would you want it back?" Betsy asked.
"Do you have any idea how much it cost?" Neil asked. "Yes, I want it back."
"It wouldn't bother you that it was used as a murder weapon?"
"It didn't kill anyone important. ~ Nora Sakavic

I hate you," Andrew said casually. He took a last long drag from his cigarette and flicked it off the roof. "You were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs."
"I'm not a hallucination," Neil said, nonplussed.
"You are a pipe dream," Andrew said. ~ Nora Sakavic

You couldn't at least use an Exy idiom? I hate baseball. ~ Nora Sakavic

Nicky pulled a protein bar from the mix and passed it to Neil. Neil tried pulling the foil wrapper open and hissed through clenched teeth at the burn in his knuckles. Andrew took the bar from him, ripped it open in one easy swipe, and dumped it in Neil's waiting hands. ~ Nora Sakavic

Neil feigned confusion as he got to his feet. "Am I bothering you?" "Beyond the telling." "Interesting," Neil said. "Last week you said nothing gets under your skin." Andrew ~ Nora Sakavic

He'd come to the Foxhole Court every inch a lie, but his friends made him into someone real. ~ Nora Sakavic

It was an age before anyone responded. Nicky was too busy gaping at Neil to say anything, and Aaron was staring at Kevin as he waited for a translation. Andrew's surprise gave way to what a fool might mistake for delight, and he leaned forward on the desk. "Wow, another one of Neil's many talents. How many can one man have? ~ Nora Sakavic

Neil had been doing one stupid thing after another all year long and this has turned into one of the best years of his life. ~ Nora Sakavic

Neil sucked in a deep breath that ripped him open on its way down. "I'd ask you how it feels, but I guess you've always known what it's like to be second, you worthless piece of shit. ~ Nora Sakavic

We're Foxes. Something is always going wrong. ~ Nora Sakavic

Neil had never seen him play like this, so intense and fast and determined, but Andrew had promises to keep and a goal to defend. With ~ Nora Sakavic

Time was nothing. Seconds were days, were years, were the breaths that caught between their mouths and the bite of Neil's fingernails against his palms, the scrape of teeth against his lower lip and the warm slide of a tongue against his. ~ Nora Sakavic

Welcome to the Foxhole Court. ~ Nora Sakavic

Would it kill you to let something in?"
"It almost did last time. ~ Nora Sakavic

The court doesn't care what my name is or where I'm from or where I'll be tomorrow. It lets me exist as I am. ~ Nora Sakavic

Being related doesn't make us family. ~ Nora Sakavic

Andrew put a hand to his forehead dramatically. "I think I'm coming down with something. Cough, cough. Best I leave before I infect your team. There's so few of them left. You can't stand to lose anyone else. ~ Nora Sakavic

I want - I know I shouldn't stay, but I can't - I don't want to lose this. I don't want to lose any of you. I don't want to be Nathaniel anymore. I want to be Neil for as long as I can." "Good," Wymack said. "I'd have a hell of a time fitting 'Wesninski' on a jersey." Browning ~ Nora Sakavic

Kevin's not allowed to drive your car but Renee is?" Neil asked. "It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin. ~ Nora Sakavic

I'm sorry." Nicky sent a pleading look at Neil to save him from his thoughtlessness. Neil didn't have to intervene, because Allison followed Nicky's frantic glance to Neil. "You do like the mountains, don't you?"
"I cut through them once," Neil said. "We didn't stay. Is this really okay?"
"Is it okay, he says," Dan said, "like we didn't all just invite ourselves to his vacation. ~ Nora Sakavic

Kevin," Neil said, and waited for Kevin to finally look at him. "Figure out what you want more than anything, what it would kill you to lose. That's what's at stake if you let Riko win. Calculate the cost of your fear. If it's too much, you need to fight. Wouldn't you rather die trying than never try at all?"
"It's death either way," Kevin pointed out.
"Die free or die a failure," Neil said. "The choice is yours ~ Nora Sakavic

Neil watched it so he wouldn't stare at Andrew, but if someone asked him later what it was about he wouldn't be able to tell them. He was sure he still felt Andrew's heartbeat on his skin when he went to bed a few hours later. ~ Nora Sakavic

I'm sorry."
"Say it again and I will kill you. ~ Nora Sakavic

I don't want to be a Raven. I don't want to be Nathaniel. I want to be Neil Josten. I want to be a Fox. ~ Nora Sakavic

Why does Roland think you're tying me down? ~ Nora Sakavic

What did I tell you about playing the martyr card?" Andrew asked. "You said no one wanted it," Nathaniel said. "You didn't tell me to stop." "It was implied." "I'm stupid, remember? I need things spelled out." "Shut up." "Am I at ninety-four yet?" "You are at one hundred," Andrew said. "What happened to your face?" Nathaniel swallowed hard against a rush of nausea. "A dashboard lighter." He winced at the awful sound Nicky made. The groan of a quickly-shifting mattress almost swallowed up Aaron's ragged curse. Nathaniel looked back without thinking, needing to see who was on the move, and saw Aaron had rolled off the bed to go stand with Nicky. Turning meant the others got a look at his burned cheek. Kevin recoiled so hard he slammed into the wall behind him. He clapped a protective hand over his own tattoo and Nathaniel knew he was imagining Riko's reaction to this atrocity. This time it was Dan stopping Matt from getting up, her knuckles white against his dark shirt and her head turned away. Matt started to fight free but settled for a hoarse, "Jesus, Neil. The fuck did they do to you? ~ Nora Sakavic

After everything they did to you, how can you stand me?" Neil asked...He gestured between them knowing Andrew would understand. "How is this okay?"
"It isn't a this," Andrew said.
"That's not what I'm asking. You know it isn't-Andrew wait!" he insisted but Andrew was turning away like he couldn't hear Neil anymore.
Neil reached for him, unwilling to let him leave without a real answer.
"No," Andrew said and Neil's hand froze a breath from Andrew's arm.
Andrew went still as well and they stood for a minute in awful silence.
Finally, Andrew looked back at him, but for a moment, Neil didn't know who he was looking at. In the space of one breath, Andrew's expression went so dark Neil almost retreated. Then Andrew was back, as calm and uncaring as always and he caught Neil's wrist to push his hand to his side. He dug his fingers in before letting go, not quite hard enough to hurt and said, "that's why."
Neil stopped when Andrew told him to. I wasn't much but it was more than enough. ~ Nora Sakavic

Jean," he said. "Hey, Jean. Jean Valjean. Hey. Hey. Hello."

Jean huffed a little in annoyance but looked at Andrew. Andrew held out his hand and Jean was foolish enough to take it. Andrew's knuckles went white as he crushed Jean's hand.

"I'm Andrew. We haven't met yet."

"For which I am grateful," Jean said. ~ Nora Sakavic

Right near the corner was a picture Neil didn't recognize at all: a shot of Neil and Andrew standing alone. They were bundled up in their matching coats and staring each other down barely a breath apart. It took Neil a moment to place it; the people packed into the background didn't look like a game crowd. The windows finally gave it away. Dan had taken this at Upstate Regional Airport on their way to play against Texas. Neil hadn't even realized she'd been watching them. Neil had gotten caught in a couple of her group pictures, but this was the only one up that had Neil's natural looks. Dan had even caught Neil on his right side, so the bandage over his tattoo wasn't showing. This was a picture of Nathaniel Wesninski; this was the moment Neil gave Andrew his name. Neil reached out to tear the picture down but stopped as soon as he caught hold of the edge. He'd come to Palmetto State to play, but he'd also come because Kevin was proof that a real person existed behind all of his lies. In May both Nathaniel and Neil would be gone, but in June this picture would still be here. He'd be a tiny part of the Foxhole Court for years to come. It was comforting, or it should be. Neil didn't think comfort should feel like such a sick knot in his stomach ~ Nora Sakavic