Michael R. Underwood Quotes

That Hellboy gun of Yours? It's not scientifically possible. It flaunts the laws of physics like a teenager on Rumspringa...

The trick is learning which what goes where and does what." "That was some Tennant-level vaguebabble.

Dear Lynda Carter, Please be with me in my hour of need. Especially if I don't have to twirl around to get my powers.

So Die Hard is a better choice for action-fu than Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever."
Eastwood snarled at the mention of the second film. "I hated that movie so much, I got my ninety-nine minutes back.

If our cover breaks in here, we're toast. Worse that toast, we're the crappy crumbs of carbon left at the bottom of a toster oven that I haven't cleaned out in three months.

Vampires used to be the Dracula types, but in the last ten years most of them have become weak, brooding androgynes that only go after teenagers. A friend of mine took the opportunity to rid his whole city of them after the forth Mormon Vamps book hit and the sparkle meme was at its strongest."

"So does that make Ms. Mormon Sparkle Vamp a hero?"

"Of a sort. Before they started to sparkle, there were a lot of vamps who were tortured antiheroes, thanks to Rice and Whedon."

Ree grimaced. "Do you know if she was clued in?"

Eastwood shrugged. "She's very secretive, no one in the Underground has been able to say for sure. It's all rumor. My guess is she lost someone to a vampire and decided the greatest revenge she could inflict was to turn them into a laughing stock.

The room continued to spin though she was standing still, but her ears were hot. She felt like she'd just slammed three doubles of tequila and needed a fistfight chaser.

Jane smiled the Making Lemonade smile that adults learn to do when they get used to the world stomping on their heads.

Infighting would be stupid, since, y'know, claws and teeth.

So, how bad of an idea is it to go there? On a scale of cooking-whithout-a-shirt to being-an-evil-priest-in-an-Alexandre-Dumas-book?

Dipsomancy is very real, but it takes more than just getting hammered to do anything useful.

But, self, that thing was on TV, and this one wants to tear your liver out your nose. Run.

Rhiannon Anna Maria Reyes, (Strength 10, Dexterity 14, Stamina 12, Will 17, IQ 16 and Charisma 15 -- Geek 7 / Barista 3 / Screenwriter 2 / Gamer Girl 2) was Bryan's secret weapon. Rhiannon (known to practically everyone as "Ree") kept the café in fabulous baked goods, talked authoritatively about subjects from Aliens to Zork, and drew the attentions of countless lovelorn geeks.

I've got to hit the bottom of this weird-ass rabbit hole anytime now, right?

I am a master of folklore - I should be able to throw folklore fireballs or something.