Mary E. Pearson Quotes

I am undependable. You might get gritty contemporary with one book, science fiction, magical realism, or high fantasy with another.

Are the details of our lives who we are, or is it owning those details that makes the difference?

I do hope the things I've forgotten don't matter.

Some betrayals ran too deep to ever forgive.

Nights like this. They go on and on, outlasting the moon, because they're made of something else, something as quiet as a heartbeat and as sweeping as the wind.

What had her life been like in Venda? Or maybe, more precisely, what had they done to her? She was not the result of happy, content parents. It was like she'd been held prisoner in a cellar her whole life. She flinched at sun and an open sky. As soon as we hit the Heethe plateau, she kept her eyes straight ahead on some distant point, her focus like steel, her shoulders rigid, like she carried a heavy pack on her back.

Somewhere beyond all that, on an unseeable horizon, was Morrighan and all the people who lived there, going about their lives, unaware. My brothers. Pauline. Berdi. Gwyneth. And more patrols like Walther's who would meet their deaths, as unaware as I had once been.
I want to go with you.
Where I was going was no place for Natiya. It was hardly a place for me.

Words, Kaden. Only lost unsaid words that added up to good-bye.

I'll take a game of cards to stitchery any day. My brothers are shrewd, bordering on thieves when it comes to their cards - the best kind of teachers to have. Last

Because I Stupidly Loved Her

There are all kinds of friends you make in life ... But there's something different about someone who spreads their wings with you.

Every exchange of words between Jase and me seemed like a dance, a step forward, a step back, circling, both of us leading, anticipating, wondering what the next move would be. He didn't trust me any more than I trusted him.

This world, it breathes you in, sniffs, it knows you, and then it breathes you out again, shares you. You're not contained here in this single place alone. The wind, time, it circles, repeats, teaches, reveals, some swaths cutting deeper than others. The universe knows. The universe has a long memory.

Sometimes it seemed the timing of the entire world was off, our intentions coming too soon or too late, life crowding up to blur our vision, and only later when the dust settles can we see our missteps.

Ancients pulled metals more precious than gold from the center of the earth - They spun into giant lacy wings that flew them to the stars and back
"Is that what you'd do with wings?"
She shook her head "No, I'd fly to the stars, but I'd never come back

Duty. That was a word I hated as much as tradition.

I gently pressed on the back of my head, wondering how bad the gash was. Beneath the crusted patch of blood, there was still a sizable lump. It was ironic that a housekeeper armed only with an iron pot had nearly done in the Assassin of Venda.
How the Rahtan would laugh at that.
The name dug into me with a surprising sting - and longing. Rahtan. It brought back the familiar, the feeling of pride, the one place in my entire life where I had felt like I belonged. Now I was in a kingdom that didn't want me and in a cottage where I wasn't welcome. I didn't want to be here either, but I couldn't leave. I wondered about Griz and Eben. Surely Griz was healed and they were on their way by now. They were the closest thing I had to family - a family of poisonous vipers. The thought made me grin.

Ascente cha ores ri ve breazza."
"Turn your ear to the wind," she interpreted. "Stand strong.

The sun was high, midday, and I knew we had to be getting close to the point where Kaden and I would leave the caravan. Whatever landscape we passed, I saw none of it. My insides were raw - shredded from one end to the other by someone who I had thought loved me. Yes, it was the longest twelve miles of my life. Orrin,

But I am more than a name. More than they tell me

The truths of the world wish to be known, but they won't force themselves upon you the way lies will. They'll court you, whisper to you, play behind your eyelids, slip inside and warm your blood, dance along your spine and caress your neck until your flesh rises in bumps.

Eyes don't breath. I know that much. But her eyes look breathless

For we must not just be ready,
for the enemy without,
but also for the enemy within.
And so shall it be,
Sisters of my heart,
Brothers of my soul,
Family of my flesh,
For evermore.

What is magic but what we don't yet understand

When is a cell finally too small to hold our essence?

A choir of pink-cheeked boys lift their voices as a priest seems to pull the music from their throats with the urging of his hands.

I remember Mr. Bender's comment about us only being here for two weeks, too. It's true. How could Mother and Father have known? After I spent over a year in a coma, how could they have predicted exactly when I would wake up and then move to California precisely at that time? Was it only coincidence? Or did they decide when I would wake up? Why would they keep me in a coma for so long? Why would they steal a year and a half of my life? What kind of parents are they?

...and time becomes a forgotten detail.

I wondered if she was truly Rahtan. Yes, she was skilled, but she didn't exactly possess brawn - even if she had managed to overtake me and slam me up against the wall. But juggling? Riddles? Her age. Her poise and demeanor was that of a cynical tested soldier, but her appearance - she was young, younger than me, I was certain. Her black hair fell in thick, long waves, and her hands were delicate, her fingers more suited for a piano than a sword.

We all have our different skills. You're patient to a fault, which sometimes doesn't work to your advantage. I, on the other hand, have the patience of a wet cat. Only on rare occasions does that come in handy.

This was more than an unexpected turn.
It was an unchecked slide into hell.

The scrutiny was smothering. Right now it seemed that being Vendan within these outpost walls was preferable to being the impudent royal who had abandoned their precious prince at the altar.

I don't care what mistakes I made or what mistakes you made. I'd make every single one again, if that was the only way to be with you

Pieces. A bit for someone here. A bit there. And sometimes they don't add up to anything whole. But you are so busy dancing. Delivering. You don't have time to notice. Or are afraid to notice. And then one day you have to look. And it's true. All of your pieces fill up other people's holes. But they don't fill your own.

I've discovered I love the vast landscape a series offers. I tend to write long anyway, so, it turns out, series gives me the perfect vehicle for writing 'large' stories.

The rules of reason build towers that reach past the treetops. The rules of trust build towers that reach past the stars.

Darkness was my ally. It made me forget the world I was in and invited me to dream of another.

I just think perfection and lasting through the ages is for Greek statues, not us mere humans.

My timing is off. But I had to get it out. Some things you have to tell, no matter how stupid they may sound. Some things you can't save for later. There might not be a later.

I will find you.
In the farthest corner, I will find you.

I wonder at the weight of a Sparrow.

He consumed me in a different way- the way his eyes made everything jump inside of me when I looked into them, his laughter, temper, the way he sometimes struggled for words, the way his jaw twitched when he was angry, the thoughtful way he listened to me, his incredible restraint and resolve in the face of overwhelming odds. When I looked at him, I saw the easygoing farmer he could have been, but I also saw the soldier and prince that he was.

If I'd feel like a cloud before, now in was like a planet winking from the heavens. A burden shared wasn't so heavy to bear anymore.

We stood and watched as the clan ran ahead of us into the valley that would become our home. Jafir pressed his hand to the small mound growing in my belly and smiled. Our hope. "We have been blessed by the gods," he said. "The cruelties of the world are behind us now. Our child will never know them." I

Make a wish, Kazi, one for tomorrow, for the next day, and the next. One will always come true.

Because if I could believe in tomorrow or the next day, maybe that would give the magic time to come true. Or better, maybe by then I wouldn't need the magic at all.

Once upon a time,
Long, long ago,
Seven stars were flung from the sky.
One to shake the mountains,
One to churn the seas,
One to choke the air,
And four to test the hearts of men.
Your hearts are to be tested now.
Open them to the truths,
For we must not just be ready
For the enemy without,
But also the enemy within.

I wished that love could be simple, that it was always given and returned in the same measure, equally and at the same time, that all the planets aligned in a perfect way to dispel all doubts, that it was easy to understand and never painful.

He was a habit in my thoughts, not any more welcome than a rash, but I'd find myself thinking of him before I even realized what I was doing. Banishing him from my thoughts was like learning to breathe in a new way. it was a conscious effort.

There are no rules in survival.

Maybe now it was I who would become the assassin.

Whatever you choose for your stationery is your favorite color because it's where you pour your heart out.

One small changed family doesn't calculate into a world that has been spinning for a billion years. But one small change makes the world spin differently in a billion ways for one family.

I see only reminders that nothing lasts forever, not even greatness."
"Some things last."
I faced him. "Really? And just what would that be?"
"The things that matter.

Some truths refused to be hidden.

Love's always a messy affair better left to young hearts

And I began walking. A thousand miles, or two, I would carry her all the way to Dalbreck if I had to. No one would pry her from my arms again.

The world has changed. It's gotten better. It's gotten worse. After all these years, Jenna's words still echo is my head, 'just as one problem is solved, a new one is created.' The work never ends. If there's one thing you can always count on in this world, it is change. I don't fear it the way I used to. I try to be read for it. One day, maybe, all the changes will be only for the good. I can dare to dream. I can always hope for more.

She whispers it aloud, 'lorelei.' the sound makes her ache, makes the word even more beautiful, even more real.

Awareness
There is a dark place.
A place where I have no eyes, no mouth. No words.
I can't cry out because I have no breath. The silence is so deep I want to die.
But I can't.
The darkness and silence go on forever.
It is not a dream.
I don't dream.

I decide that sometimes definitions are wrong. Even if they're written in a dictionary. Identities aren't always separate and distinct. Sometimes they ARE wrapped up with others. Sometimes, for a few minutes, maybe they can even be shared. And if I am ever fortunate enough to return to Mr. Bender's garden, I wonder if the birds will see that piece of him that is wrapped up in me.

Their voices meld into a cloudy rumble of their own, and I ponder Mira's and Aidan's secrets and imagine the injustice that threads through other lives, injustice that has no face because it is hidden away in a dark, shameful place, hidden for years in hopes of making it untrue.

I woke up on the floor of Lia's wagon and thought she had finally planted an ax in my skull.

He nodded. "You're right. It's probably for the best."
Bitterness rose in my throat. I hated things being for the best. They never really were. It was a phrase that sugarcoated the leftover crumbs of our options.

I didn't need to fall in love with him again. I had never fallen out.

I never asked about the accident. Something told me not to.
Maybe it was the shine of Mother's eyes.
Maybe it was Father's smile that tried too hard.
Maybe it was something deeper inside me that I still can't
name.
The Accident.
Like a title. A stop sign. A wall.

How did you do it, Mother?" I asked, still staring at the passing carriages below. "How did you travel all the way from Gastineux to marry a toad you didn't love?"
"Your father is not a toad," my mother said sternly. I whirled to face her. "A king maybe, but a toad nonetheless. Do you mean to tell me that when you married a stranger twice your age, you didn't think him a toad?

I don't want five hundred billion neural chips. I want guts.

Love didn't end all at once, no matter how much you needed it to or how inconvenient it was. You couldn't command love to stop any more than a marriage document could order it to appear. Maybe love had to bleed away a drop at a time until your heart was numb and cold and mostly dead.

I still cry on waking. I'm not sure why. I feel nothing. Nothing I can name, anyway. It's like breathing - something that happens over which I have no control. (6)

But now I knew finding love and holding on to it were not the same thing.

Kaden's and Griz's hands were firmly tied behind their backs.
"Would you really have killed them in cold blood?" I asked.
"It's no less than what he ordered for me."
"Tit for tat? Is that how this soldiering stuff works?"
An annoyed hiss escaped through Rafe's teeth. "No, I wouldn't have killed them on the spot. I probably would have waited for Kaden to do something stupid in the heat of the moment - which he surely will - and then I would have killed him. Oh, wait, excuse me! I forgot. We're all in good hands. Griz promised to fall on him if he got out of line. Do I have that right?"
I returned his sarcasm with a steely glare. "Next I'm going to order him to fall on you. Save your cynicism. All I needed to know was that you wouldn't kill them in cold blood.

He was too young to begin losing himself.

These memories descend out of nowhere, giving me pieces of who I was, but their significance is lost. I sigh and resume my walk, not knowing if this memory is important, or just more of the jumbled trivia of Jenna's life, like sock shopping. Maybe that is all any life is composed of, trivia that eventually adds up to a person, and maybe I just don't have enough of it yet to be a whole one.

With Pauline at my side, in one swift act that could never be undone, an act that ended a thousand dreams but gave birth to one, I bolted for the cover of the forest and never looked back. Lest we repeat history, the stories shall be passed from father to son, from mother to daughter, for with but one generation, history and truth are lost forever. - Morrighan Book of Holy Text, Vol. III

But I would always see her. Until I drew my last breath, it would always be her face I saw when I closed my eyes at night, and her face again when I woke each morning. I would force myself to forget the last words I heard from her lips. I would remember others. I love you, Jafir de Aldrid. Words that, now, I was sure I had never deserved. I

then hold on to me, he said let me show you the stars.

Maybe the impossible is possible when you take everything else away.
When nothings left, maybe you can reach for something that no one knew existed.
Or maybe we became something new.
Maybe we made it exist.

We were Rahtan, we could chisel what made us uncomfortable and awkward into an ice sculpture in hell if we had to.

Picture yourself five years from now. Where do you want to be? Remember that. Every day. That's how you'll get there.

She fascinated me, her contradictions, her secrets, and the girl that sometimes surfaced from beneath her tough soldier exterior, like when she spotted the wish stalks on the bank. The girl who forgot who I was and pressed a wish stalk to my ankle. In another world, another circumstance, I think we might have been friends. Or more.

The seed of the gift may come, but a seedling that isn't nourished dies quickly.

How can you be sure?"
"I'm a doctor, Jenna. And a scientist."
"Does that make you an authority on everything? What about a soul, Father? When you were so busy implanting all your neural chips, did you think about that? Did you snip my soul from my old body, too? Where did you put it? Show me! Where? Where in all this groundbreaking technology did you insert my soul?

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She leaned closer and said, "Let's just call this a friendly warning. If you hurt
my brother, I'll make sure that you regret it.

Maybe there were a hundred different ways to fall in love.

Have you lost your mind?" I yelled. "Did you have to humiliate him in front of his comrades? Isn't it enough that he already hates you with the fire of a thousand suns?" Her expression was grim. Unfeeling. She was in no hurry to answer, but when she did, her tone held no emotion. "Malich laughed the night he told me that he had killed Greta. He reveled in her death. He said it was easy. Her death cost him nothing. It will now. Every day that I breathe, I will make it cost him something. Every time I see that same smug grin on his face, I will make him pay for it." She dumped her winnings on the bed and looked back at me. "So the short answer to your question, Kaden, is no. It's not enough. It will never be enough.

I am a soldier in my father's army.

Ragged clothes?" He grabbed my hand and examined it. "Chipped nails? Those aren't enough to disguise what's inside. You'll always be you, Lia. You can't run from that.

Maybe when you're about to die, secrets don't seem so important to keep.

Jenna reached over and held one of my hands, Kara held the other, and I felt like the universe was holding us all.
For that night, maybe just for that magic moment, it all seemed to make so much sense, like the thousand puzzle pieces of my life were all in place and I knew the How and Why of all things. It was one of those moments that I was sure would stay impressed on me forever because it was real and true. It was as tangible as the blanket beneath me. I felt lik I had touched something, something as big as the universe, and it had touched me back.
I didn't know that even a big moment like that could be snuffed out in a matter of days by packing to go home, by the wrong teacher on the wrong school schedule, or by my uncle getting his brains blown out at a traffic stop.
But all that just made Kara and Jenna brighter stars in my sky. I had no way of knowing that, in a matter of weeks, even those stars would be snuffed out.

Tell me who I am. (29)

I picked the Scholar's or the Chancellor's doors or - especially fun for me - the Timekeeper's, resetting his clock and timepieces? That had especially angered my father, but I'd only done it hoping it would create an extra hour in his day for me.

Regroup. Move forward.

It's awkward, isn't it?" he said.
"What's that?" I replied, my voice far too breathy.
"These moments when we're not hating each other.

There are no rules when it comes to survival

Hear the language that isn't spoken, for everyone can hear spoken words, but only a few can hear the heart that beats behind it.

I have a manuscript that I'm almost done with, but I've been saying that forever. I'm on what I think will be the second-to-last chapter. It's a story about chance and coincidence.

I went back to my thoughts of Lia. How could I tell her that I knew in my gut from almost the beginning that we were meant to be together? That I had seen myself growing old with her. That a gift I wasn't even sure she really possessed had told me her name long before I ever laid eyes on her.

I wondered at the way we all change, all the outside forces that press and mold and push us into people and things we hadn't planned to be. Maybe it happened so gradually that by the time we noticed, it was too late to be anything else.

Lay down your arms, and we will create a hope that lasts

Desperate pieces of string that hold us up but at the same time keep us from being anything other than what we have always been.