Lani Lynn Vale Quotes

Nothing compares to taking your bra off after a long day. -Things men will never know or understand

Over good food and lots of laughs, I fell deeply in love with Apple Drew.

Some people will only love you if you fit into their box. Don't be afraid to shove that box up their ass. -E-card

When you make sure you're on the same page with someone, also make sure you are in the same book, and all parties know how to read. -Words of wisdom

I don't have a sense of humor anymore. It's literally just sarcasm and a general hate of the majority of the human population. -Fact of Life

If it has tires or testicles, it's going to give you problems.

Every moment that I had free, I chose to read because I loved to escape to the alternate realities. Other worlds where there was always a happy ending.

I didn't mean to gain this much weight. It happened by snackcident.

Chapter 19 Want to piss off a woman? Just open your mouth. That usually works. -Words of wisdom

They say I have a mild case of PTSD. One that doesn't really make itself known until it's the dark of night.

I don't understand your specific brand of crazy, but I do commend your devotion to it. -Truth to his ex

Why do people say, "Grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding. -Betty White

That was my go-to emotion lately. When I wanted to scream, I stayed silent. When I wanted to cry, hit something or complain, I stayed silent.

When you're a woman in a man's world, then you can lecture me on how I should do my job. Until then, I have the vagina and you have the penis. You have the advantage. Always.

I'm not saying she's a hoe, but she's taken more loads than a washing machine. -Verity to Truth upon discussion of Truth's ex

A lot of people didn't like cops just on general principle. They had no problem calling us when they were in need of our services, though. Even the ones that had a problem with our authority, like

Every corpse on Mount Everest was once an extremely motivated individual. That's why I love my couch. A couch has never killed anybody.

The only "B" word you should ever call a woman is beautiful. Why? Because bitches love to be called beautiful. - T-shirt.

Don't try to explain yourself to stupid people. You're not the jackass whisperer.

I take super hot showers because I like to practice burning in hell. -Kitt to Ridley Kitt

I don't have a step daughter. I have a daughter that was born before I met her.

Once upon a time there was a twat. It was you. The end. -Meme

I hate it when I'm trying to eat a salad, it falls on the floor, and I have to eat tacos instead. -Text from Audrey to Tobias

His woman doesn't enjoy sex with him says something about the man, not the woman. It's the man's job to figure out what the woman likes, what will bring out the wild in her. Let me let you in on a little secret; I can make you wild. Don't doubt it.