Testicles Quotes

You know, one time I saw Tiger down at the waterhole: he had the biggest testicles of any animal, and the sharpest claws, and two front teeth as long as knives and as sharp as blades. And I said to him, 'Brother Tiger, you go for a swim, I'll look after your balls for you. ~ Neil Gaiman

Confucius say man who get kicked in testicles left holding bag. ~ Confucius

What about animals slaughtered for our consumption? who among us would be able to continue eating pork chops after visiting a factory farm in which pigs are half-blind and cannot even properly walk, but are just fattened to be killed? And what about, say, torture and suffering of millions we know about, but choose to ignore? Imagine the effect of having to watch a snuff movie portraying what goes on thousands of times a day around the world: brutal acts of torture, the picking out of eyes, the crushing of testicles -the list cannot bear recounting. Would the watcher be able to continue going on as usual? Yes, but only if he or she were able somehow to forget -in an act which suspended symbolic efficiency -what had been witnessed. This forgetting entails a gesture of what is called fetishist disavowal: "I know it, but I don't want to know that I know, so I don't know." I know it, but I refuse to fully assume the consequences of this knowledge, so that I can continue acting as if I don't know it. ~ Slavoj Zizek

Most directors make films with their eyes; I make films with my testicles. ~ Alejandro Jodorowsky

Yes. Do you remember?"
Once more a shrug of the shoulders. "How should I remember? We have questioned thousands - "
"Questioned! Beaten into unconsciousness, kidneys crushed, bones broken, thrown into cellars like sacks, dragged up again, faces torn, testicles crushed - that was what you called questioning! The hot frightful moaning of those who were no longer able to cry - questioned! The whimpering between unconsciousness and consciousness, kicks in the belly, rubber clubs, whips - yes, all that you innocently called 'questioning'!"
"Don't move your hands! Or I'll shoot you down! Do you remember little Max Rosenberg who lay beside me in the cellar with his torn body and who tried to smash his head on the cement wall to keep from being questioned again - questioned, why? Because he was a democrat! And Willmann who passed blood and had no teeth and only one eye left after he had been questioned by you for two hours - questioned, why? Because he was a Catholic and did not believe your Fuehrer was the new Messiah. And Riesenfeld whose head and back looked like raw lumps of flesh and who implored us to bite open his arteries because he was toothless and no longer able to do it himself after he had been questioned by you - questioned, why? Because he was against war and did not believe that culture is most perfectly expressed by bombs and flame throwers. Questioned! Thousands have been questioned, yes - don't move your hands, you swine! And now finally I've got you ~ Erich Maria Remarque

It seems a stray bullet actually pierced the testicle of a Union soldier and lodged itself in the ovaries of a woman standing approximately 100 ft. away. She's alright, the baby's doing fine ... ofcourse the soldier's a little pissed off ... ~ Tom Waits

Following his studies with Carrel, Voronoff worked in Egypt for the Egyptian king. Voronoff soon became fascinated with the eunuchs that were part of the king's harem. In particular, he noted that the castration they received seemed to increase the speed at which the eunuchs aged. This observation was the beginning of Voronoff's obsession with a surgical answer to aging. Likely inspired by the pioneering work of his mentor and the excitement of the new surgical techniques, Voronoff began to dabble in experimental transplantation. But he went beyond the techniques that his mentor had perfected. In early experiments Voronoff transplanted the testicles of a lamb into an old ram, claiming that the transplant served to thicken the ram's wool and increase its sex drive. These early studies foreshadowed the work that would follow. ~ Nathan Wolfe

Hey," he said, leaning back in his chair and spreading his legs wide.
"I'm more than willing to change my last name and give up my citizenship for you. I'll even walk two steps behind you in public after we're married, like a proper prince consort. But the birth control thing is going to have to be up to you, because obviously nothing can contain what these bad boys are packing."
"Did you seriously just refer to your testicles as 'bad boys'?"
"I did. It's not as if you didn't have warning, Mia. As has been previously stated - by that bastion of fine reporting, InTouch, no less - I am the world's greatest lover."
"More like the world's greatest idiot. ~ Meg Cabot

Most of the Masters at The Zone would have given both of their testicles for the right to top the Ice Queen. ~ Joey W. Hill

All I had to do was stick my face into this gruesome mess and bite off the young sheep's testicles. Dag a hogget. I had good teeth. I put my nose into this awful-smelling mess, my teeth solidly around the balls of the six-month-old sheep, and took a bite while I held him upside down. My nose was in fur and ordure. I bit and spat out the product into a pile of what they called prairie oysters. We have them in America too: delicious to eat, but not delicious to remove. They said this was the most sanitary way to de-ball a sheep. After I was done, I passed the sheep onto the next man, who put a little coal tar on the same spot for purposes of cleansing and closing up the wound.
The sheep never let out a bleat. ~ Errol Flynn

I think of the meaning of the word "testimony." Originally it named the custom of two men holding each other's testicles in a gesture of trust, later to metamorphose into the handshake. ~ Alice Walker

Talc: You have been found guilty of misleading and perverting the young. I decree that you be
hung by your underdeveloped testicles until dead. ZORRO ~ John Kennedy Toole

And thus it behoved Eros to put back fun, romance & passion into the union of love. He had to find Himeros, from the sea, from Uranus` cut off testicles, to bring Passion back into the union of love. ~ Nicholas Chong

This male-default bias goes back at least to the ancient Greeks, who kicked off the trend of seeing the female body as a 'mutilated male' body (thanks, Aristotle). The female was the male 'turned outside in'. Ovaries were female testicles (they were not given their own name until the seventeenth century) and the uterus was the female scrotum. The reason they were inside the body rather than dropped out (as in typical humans) is because of a female deficiency in 'vital heat'. The male body was an ideal women failed to live up to. ~ Caroline Criado Perez

The only part of a man more sensitive than the aforementioned testicles was the male ego - like a Georgia peach. ~ Jewel E. Ann

Forming an Adam's apple requires testosterone, and that usually means functioning testicles. When we look up at a billboard in Times Square featuring a man with a large Adam's apple, we are essentially being shown a demonstration of testicular aptitude. "Buy this product," the ad is saying, "and you'll have good testicles. ~ James Hamblin

A brick could be used to show you how to live a richer, fuller, more satisfying life. Don't you want to have fulfillment and meaning saturating your existence? I can show you how you can achieve this and so much more with just a simple brick. For just $99.99 - not even an even hundred bucks, I'll send you my exclusive life philosophy that's built around a brick. Man's used bricks to build houses for centuries. Now let one man, me, show you how a brick can be used to build your life up bigger and stronger than you ever imagined. But act now, because supplies are limited. This amazing offer won't last forever. You don't want to wake up in ten years to find yourself divorced, homeless, and missing your testicles because you waited even two hours too long to obtain this information. Become a hero today - save your life. Procrastination is only for the painful things in life. We prolong the boring, but why put off for tomorrow the exciting life you could be living today? If you're not satisfied with the information I'm providing, I'm willing to offer you a no money back guarantee. That's right, you read that wrong. If you are not 100% dissatisfied with my product, I'll give you your money back. For $99.99 I'm offering 99.99%, but you've got to be willing to penny up that percentage to 100. Why delay? The life you really want is mine, and I'm willing to give it to you - for a price. That price is a one-time fee of $99.99, which of course everyone can afford - even if they can't aff ~ Jarod Kintz

If its got tires or testicles it's going to give you trouble ~ P.C. Cast

He flashed a grin over his shoulder at me. "Ready to be astounded?"
I eyed him. "You're not going to drop your trousers and demand I admire your gorgeous testicles, are you?"
"Not after you disparaged their beauty. ~ Katie MacAlister

My voice is the only material thing in which I can still reveal myself. Go ahead and cut off the hand or the testicles of a voice. Try to find the head of a voice, the orifice through which it passes, or even the breasts to which you can attach the clips of your electrodes. Nothing. Resonant tooth. ~ Abdellatif Laabi

If it has tires or testicles, it's going to give you problems. ~ Lani Lynn Vale

That's sweet. Nice of you." Johnson put his hands in his pockets. Dove couldn't help but wonder if he was massaging a sore bag of testicles. Dove looked around, and Johnson shuffled his feet. It seemed neither knew what to say, but she hoped neither wanted to part ways either.
Johnson's default was always medical.
"How's your infection?"
Die. Die. Kill me.
"It's ... cleared up ... nicely." Dove twisted her hand into her hair. ~ Debra Anastasia

I found a gray hair one of my testicles the today. No, it wasn't mine, but it's frightening. ~ Dave Attell

I'm sure you know by now, Jesse Jackson was overheard saying, and I'll put this more delicately, that he wanted to cut Barack Obama's testicles off. And Jesse has been on several news programs the last couple of days, explaining what he meant by those comments. Do you need to explain that? ~ Jay Leno

My lawyers will fricassee your testicles for breakfast. And if you dare board my plane without a warrant, your spleen will follow. ~ Dan Brown

In the third cabinet under the counter, she hit the good stuff. "Oh! You have a KitchenAid."
"If you're planning on caressing my mixer, you should know that might make my testicles explode," he said from behind her.
Her cheeks went hot enough to glow. "That would be awkward. ~ Jamie Farrell

It's not funny, Kacey!" I hiss. "That guy forced himself on me!"
She rolls her eyes but then, after a long pause, she sighs. "Yeah, you're right." Reaching over, she pinches the guy's arm without hesitation. "Hey, buddy!"
"You do that to her again and I'll sneak into your room and rip your balls off while you sleep, capisce?" she warns with a pointed finger. Most times my sister's threats involve the mutilation of testicles. ~ K.A. Tucker

The recipes of the dishes served Khubilai Khan still survive. They include a variety of foods but maintain the traditional Mongol emphasis on meat and dairy products. The members of the Mongol court ate such delicacies as strips of mutton tail fat dusted with flour and baked with leeks. Bull testicles fried in hot oil, basted with saffron paste, and sprinkled with coriander. Mutton boiled with cardamom and cinnamon and served with rice and chickpeas. Young eggplant stuffed with chopped mutton, fat, yogurt, orange peel, and basil. ~ Jack Weatherford

Dr Jaffery said that very few people in Delhi now wanted to study classical Persian, the language which, like French in Imperial Russia, had for centuries been the first tongue of every educated Delhi-wallah. 'No one has any interest in the classics today,' he said. 'If they read at all, they read trash from America. They have no idea what they are missing. The jackal thinks he has feasted on the buffalo when in fact he has just eaten the eyes, entrails and testicles rejected by the lion. ~ William Dalrymple

She was a widow, and he stripped himself naked while she went to fetch some of her husband's clothes. But before he could put them on, the police were hammering on the front door with their billy clubs. So the fugitive hid on top of a rafter. When the woman let in the police, though, his oversize testicles hung down in full view."
Trout paused again.
The police asked the woman where the guy was. The woman said she didn't know what guy they were talking about," said Trout. "One of the cops saw the testicles hanging down from a rafter and asked what they were. She said they were Chinese temple bells. He believed her. He said he 'd always wanted to hear Chinese temple bells. "He gave them a whack with his billy club, but there was no sound. So he hit them again, a lot harder, a whole lot harder. Do you know what the guy on the rafter shrieked?" Trout asked me. I said I didn't. "He shrieked, 'TING-A-LING, YOU SON OF A BITCH! ~ Kurt Vonnegut

The brain is the largest data store facility to ever exist, even exceeding the storage capacity of a man's testicles (yes, if you are a man you can be proud of your pair, as they store more data than any computer). The ~ Bill McDowell

The fairy tale about the people who freely detach and re-attach appendages still inspires Sam. He remembers the character who interchanged his earlobes and testicles so he could acutely hear his ejaculations and enjoy a tightening at the side of his head whenever the weather got cold. ~ Barry Webster

On this moment Huey's balls grew three
sizes. By Huey's estimates, this made them
inhumanly enormous. Ginormous even. In Spanish,
the word for testicles is "juevos". This is also the
word for eggs. On this moment, Huey's juevos were
hard boiled. ~ Jonathan Culver

Nobody fights with Jerry because you know the price would be too high. You might come out the winner, at his age, you might even lick him, but you'd lose an eye, an arm, your testicles in the process, everything would be gone. ~ Frank Layden

It felt like he'd been dragged through the nine circles of hell - by his testicles. ~ Kay Berrisford

This place is crazy, B. You'll develop testicles just by breathing the air here. ~ L.J. Shen

The beaver, which has come to represent Canada as the eagle does the United States and the lion Britain, is a flat-tailed, slow-witted, toothy rodent known to bite off it's own testicles or to stand under its own falling trees. ~ June Callwood

Woman has ovaries and a uterus; such are the particular conditions that lock her in her subjectivity; some even say she thinks with her hormones. Man vainly forgets that his anatomy also contains hormones and testicles. He grasps his body as a direct and normal link with the world that he believes he apprehends in all objectivity, whereas he considers woman's body an obstacle, a prison, burdened by everything that particularizes it. ~ Simone De Beauvoir

Also, we would accept donations in our name to Planned Parenthood, because the male Republicans who wish to dismantle it should have their testicles hooked up to a car battery. Maybe then they would understand what it feels like to be a woman in America. ~ T.J. Klune

This wasn't just another company - this was the biggest company by far making subprime loans. And it was engaged in just blatant fraud. They should have taken the CEO out and hung him up by his fucking testicles. ~ Michael Lewis

But since Pontus [the Sea] was male, only the sea creatures that lived in the sea could aspire to be Aphrodite`s mother. And it was for this reason that Aphrodite`s birth was delayed for so long. As Himeros & Chaos did not want to be born by a sea creature. And thus, Uranus` seed & testicles tossed & tossed on the waves for hundreds of years before Himeros & Chaos reached a compromise. Aphrodite would be born from a cockle, Konche, & Himeros & Chaos would be the shell of the baby cockle. ~ Nicholas Chong

Aomame established several classes in her best area, women's self-defense techniques. She made a large canvas dummy in the shape of a man, sewed a black work glove in the groin area to serve as testicles, and gave female club members thorough training in how to kick in that spot. In the interest of realism, she stuffed two squash balls into the glove. The women were to kick this target swiftly, mercilessly, and repeatedly. Many of them took special pleasure in this training, and their skill improved markedly, but other members (mostly men, of course) viewed the spectacle with a frown and complained to the club's management that she was going overboard.

As a result, Aomame was called in and instructed to rein in the ball-kicking practice ~ Haruki Murakami

To relate a Beethoven sonata to the testicles is hardly in the style of traditional aesthetics. ~ Terry Eagleton

Ebola Zaire attacks every organ and tissue in the human body except skeletal muscle and bone. It is a perfect parasite because it transforms virtually every part of the body into a digested slime of virus particles. The seven mysterious proteins that, assembled together, make up the Ebola-virus particle, work as a relentless machine, a molecular shark, and they consume the body as the virus makes copies of itself. Small blood clots begin to appear in the bloodstream, and the blood thickens and slows, and the clots begin to stick to the walls of blood vessels. This is known as pavementing, because the clots fit together in a mosaic. The mosaic thickens and throws more clots, and the clots drift through the bloodstream into the small capillaries, where they get stuck. This shuts off the blood supply to various parts of the body, causing dead spots to appear in the brain, liver, kidneys, lungs, intestines, testicles, breast tissue (of men as well as women), and all through the skin. ~ Richard Preston

Are you always this random? (Jericho)
Mostly. It really irritates Noir. Which is just an added bonus for me. At least so long as I can outrun him. (Asmodeus)
Add me to that list of people you annoy. (Jericho)
Oh. You're not going to singe my testicles over it, are you?! (Asmodeus)
No plans to. (Jericho)
Good. We can be friends, then. (Asmodeus) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

The composition of a tragedy requires testicles. ~ Voltaire

I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigorating parts of America, but I saw some dark parts of America, an ugly side of America, a side of America that rarely sees the light of day. I refer, of course, to the anus and testicles of my co-star, Ken Davitian. ~ Sacha Baron Cohen

I hang onto my prejudices, they are the testicles of my mind. ~ Eric Hoffer

I asked him what his work was. He answered that he devoted all his time to his political activities ... He was undoubtedly busy with the diplomatic relations between his testicles and women's breast. ~ Marjane Satrapi

What temperature is your ball sack running at now?" he asks, turning around and narrowing his eyes at me.

"What? I don't know. Why are you asking me this?"

"Dude, to effectively produce sperm, your testicles need to be at least two degrees cooler than your core temperature. You should ice those little nuggets. ~ Tara Sivec

We all know what feminists are. They are shrill, overly aggressive, man-hating, ball-busting, selfish, hairy, extremist, deliberately unattractive women with absolutely no sense of humor who see sexism at every turn. They make men's testicles shrivel up to the size of peas, they detest the family and think all children should be deported or drowned. ~ Susan J. Douglas

You grabbed my tit a little, Mr. Old Timey Talker."
Blake seemed to swallow a smile.
"Manhandling a lady is inexcusable. I would only do so if said woman was too stubborn to remove herself from a dangerous situation." He took Kyle's hand and kissed the top of it lightly.
"Aw, crap. Well, aren't you too fucking charming for words?" Kyle smiled despite her best efforts to look tough. "All right, Mr. Old Timey, I'll let you get away with the boob palming this time."
"That's fortunate because I hate ingesting my own testicles." He gave her a devilish grin with naughty eyes to match.
Kyle looked at Livia. "He's adorable. ~ Debra Anastasia

You see..." Nash said, acting doctorly, "you've got to keep the testicles away from the body's heat for optimal sperm count." He snatched two chicken balls from the container in front of him and cupped them in his hand. He laid a spring roll between them. "That's the biggest source of the sperm count issue for many men: their choice of underwear keeps their testicles snug up against the body. The testes become overheated. ~ Jean Oram

A three-year old was examining his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom,' he asked,'are these my brains?' 'Not yet.' she replied. ~ Allan Pease

The digging continues ... Ground Zero it looks more and more like a construction site. Too much of the horror is gone. No fire. No smoke ... What was war becomes peace, becomes peaceful. But in the coil of my testicles there's an angry residue and in places I can't even name, places inside my throat and behind my chest, I'm sad, and sometimes worse than sad, less than sad, a cavity of empty. ~ Adam Berlin

Eating any of these things, goat testicles or what have you, isn't going to be nice, but you get into that zone, you become focussed and you do what you need to do. It's all about one thing: coming home in one piece. ~ Bear Grylls

You're such a crybaby. (Tee) Let me almost shoot off one of your testicles and see how you cope. (Joe) You shouldn't have moved, Joe. It was your fault. (Tee) Yeah, everything's my fault. (Joe) Good, then we agree. (Tee) ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

They know a million tricks, those novelists. Take Doctor Goebbels; that's how he started out, writing fiction. Appeals to the base lusts that hide in everyone no matter how respectable on the surface. Yes, the novelist knows humanity, how worthless they are, ruled by their testicles, swayed by cowardice, selling out every cause because of their greed - all he's got to do is thump on the drum, and there's his response. And he's laughing, of course, behind his hand at the effect he gets. ~ Philip K. Dick

And the testicles of the fathers hang down like old lace ~ Robert Penn Warren

I gave my father a heart attack. It was a practical joke. Come on, you push a guy's face in a cake he's got to clean it off. You hit a guy with a water balloon, he's got to dry off. Guy's in the hospital, you get his testicles shaved, he scratches and bleeds for a week ... it's funny ... you're not supposed to have a heart attack, it kills the joke. ~ Christopher Titus

Casey rested his forehead on his hands and began to recite his list of get-rid-of-my-erection-now things. "Wrinkly old testicles with masses of gray hair. Applying hemorrhoid cream. Rotten eggs broken in the house. Tennis shoes that haven't been washed for years. Moldy cabbage. Three-day-old roadkill. Toilets that don't flush properly. Accidentally using sports rub for lubricant. ~ Renae Kaye

Her mother was a cockle, but her father was no other than Uranus, who held the highest office in the universe, as no one held a higher office than the Sky. And she was born together with Himeros[Passion] & Chaos[Confusion] at the same time, & together, as the white foam[aphros] of semen issued from Uranus` severed testicles, which had entrapped Himeros & Chaos after the Big Bang, & floated on the Sea [Pontus]. ~ Nicholas Chong

In southern Spain, they made me eat a bull's testicles. They were really garlicky, which I don't like. I prefer to take a bull by the horns, not by, um ... ~ Padma Lakshmi

I have no great faith in women's plays. They always seem to me to lack precisely that which women lack, viz: testicles. ~ George H. Boker

But I'm not good at understanding what other people want.'
'Tell me something I don't know,' said Rosie for no obvious reason.
I quickly searched my mind for an interesting fact.
'Ahhh…The testicles of drone bees and wasp spiders explode during sex. ~ Graeme Simsion

I picked up these books and realised they both said '£8.99' on the back. The interpolation of the entire language I had done with the aid of Cosmopolitan meant I knew this was the price of the books, but I did not have any money. So I waited until no one was looking (a long time) and then I ran very fast out of the shop.
I eventually settled into a walk, as running without clothes is not entirely compatible with external testicles, and then I started to read. ~ Matt Haig

This is poetry, but it is not delicate and fragile, a placid ocean beneath a Bible vese on an inspirational poster. This poetry had testicles. It's rougher than a rodeo. Which is why the cliffs are crowded with spectators ~ N.D. Wilson

Spartacus," I called, "how's it hanging?" Probably not too well. Once you're dead, had your organs removed, and are resurrected as an undead mummified cat, your testicles probably looked like old raisins that had rolled under the couch. Raisins didn't tend to ... hang. ~ Rob Thurman

What in the name of Zeus's testicles? ~ Darynda Jones

The dragon roared. Terrible sound, that. Made my testicles shrink. ~ Gene Doucette

You were happy last night. This morning is a different story."

"You think I have a hangover. I don't. Well a little headache, but not much. Just let this be a warning to you if you keep me from sleeping again tonight."

"I kept you from sleeping? I kept you from sleeping?" he repeated incredulously. "You are the same woman who shook me out of a sound sleep at two a.m. yesterday morning, aren't you?"

"I didn't shake you. I kind of bounced on you, but I didn't shake you."

"Bounced," he repeated.

"You had a hard-on. I couldn't let it go to waste, could I?"

"You could have woke me up before you started not to let it go to waste."

"Look," she said exasperated, "If you don't want used, don't lie on your back with it sticking up like that. If that isn't an invitation, I don't know what is."

"I was asleep. It does that on its own." It was doing it on its own right know, as a matter of fact. It poked her in the stomach.

She looked down... and smiled. It was a smile that made his testicles draw up in fear.

With a sniff, she turned her back on him and ignored him as she finished showering.

"Hey!" he said, to get her attention. Alarm was in his tone. "You aren't going to let this one go to waste are you? ~ Linda Howard

Travel broadens the mind. Travel shrinks the wallet. Travel shrivels the testicles. ~ Zanesh Catkin

most processed water and food contain large amounts of fluoride which can lead to fluorosis. Even foods made with mechanically deboned meat (e.g nuggets) contain elevated levels of fluoride due to the contamination from bone particles that occurs during the mechanical deboning process. Fluorosis is a condition that affects the teeth and bones. It is caused by overexposure to fluoride. Fluorosis can cause osteoporosis, osteoarthritis, arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis. Fluoride may also damage connective tissue, brain, and testicles. Also be careful from drinking water containing extra fluoride. ~ Dr. Neo

Hallorann's testicles turned into two small wrinkled sacs filled with shaved ice. ~ Stephen King

I've always felt that the placement of a man's testicles is an eloquent argument against intelligent design. ~ Mark Lawrence

Before going mountain bike riding, it's a good idea to leave your valuables at home. Your testicles, for example. ~ John Dockery

Women don't have dicks and they don't want dicks. That amateur psychology crap that women want penises. And they certainly don't want testicles. Because you know no women in her right mind is going to carry around a bag that she can't put stuff in. ~ Bobby Slayton

They made their way into the sleeping bag. It was crowded, and she was still naked, so it only took about three seconds flat for him to get hard again.
She reached between them. "Are you sure there aren't any more condoms?"
He flexed at her words, then groaned softly. It was going to be a long night. "Positive."
He was torn between asking her to stop tormenting him and begging her to keep on doing it. The outcome of the latter as inevitable, and in a sleeping bag, more than a little messy.
Just a few seconds more, he told himself as he closed his eyes and gave himself up to the steady stroking of her hand. He would stop her before things got out of control.
But Phoebe being Phoebe and his attraction to her being what it was, that point of "out of control" arrived a lot faster than he would have realized. Painfully aroused and right on the edge, he grabbed her wrist.
"You're killing me."
"So not my purpose."
Then she stunned him by opening the sleeping bag, pushing it away and sliding down between his legs. As her fingers toyed with his testicles, her mouth settled on his erection. From there it was a thirty-seven-second journey to heaven. ~ Susan Mallery

You'd really spend about a hundred dollars for fake testicles for your cat? I'm not sure I'd spend that for fake testicles for myself. ~ John Dobbin

The spirits of the brain are directly connected to the testicles. This is why men who weary their imagination in books are less suitable for procreative functions ... ~ Louis De La Forge

Yeah, well lucky for you, once you stop gagging on your testicles you'll be fine. ~ Jewel E. Ann

But what is worse than all," observed the English traveler Isaac Weld, "these wretches in their combat endeavor to their utmost to tear out each other's testicles."31 ~ Gordon S. Wood

Holy fuck," Tom swore as he read over my shoulder. "Your girlfriend has a pair of balls on her, that's for certain."

I was still in too much shock, the words on the screen blurring my vision; otherwise, I would have given Tom a wallop for insinuating the woman I loved possessed testicles. But okay, metaphorically speaking, she did have a pair. ~ L.H. Cosway

The charge took less than forty seconds but Kassad discovered that this was ample time for his mouth to go absolutely dry, his breathing to begin to have problems, and for his testicles to retreat completely into his body. If the rest of Kassad could have found a comparable hiding place, he would have seriously considered crawling into it. ~ Dan Simmons

It was like someone was yanking his nuts out of his body through his throat. "Again," he rasped, because said testicles were lodged in his esophagus.

~Stryker ~ Sydney Croft

I'm pretty good with knives. I'm so good, in fact, that I could sever your testicles with one hand and slice open your throat with the other, and you'd go into shock so fast you'd die without ever knowing you'd spilled a fucking drop of blood. ~ Rachel Vincent

While Apicius is full of ancient delicacies such as roasted peacock, boiled sow vulva, testicles, and other foods we would not commonly eat today, there are many others that are still popular, including tapenade, absinthe, flatbreads, and meatballs. There is even a recipe for Roman milk and egg bread that is identical to what we call French toast. And, contrary to popular belief, foie gras was not originally a French delicacy. The dish dates back twenty-five hundred years, and Pliny credits Apicius with developing a version using pigs instead of geese by feeding hogs dried figs and giving them an overdose of mulsum (honey wine) before slaughtering them. ~ Crystal King

Liver, lungs, heads, tails, kidneys, testicles, all of these things which are traditional, delicious and nutritious parts of our gastronomy go to waste. ~ Tristram Stuart

Why aren't you at your booth?" "She ran out of bats' testicles and hares' anuses," I piped up.
"Is it anuses or ani?" Roxy asked in an aside, looking perplexed. "You say octopi, don't you? Shouldn't more than one hare's anus be ani? ~ Katie MacAlister

To the extent a man can control chaos, he should put his testicles on the line and do so, but when a man can't, he should just step aside, or someone in the lineup behind him is gonna bite his ass. ~ Allan Dare Pearce

Cojones: testicles; a valorous bull fighter is said to be plentifully equipped with these. In a cowardly bullfighter they are said to be absent. ~ Ernest Hemingway,

The average human has one breast and one testicle. ~ Des MacHale

I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percent rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't ... Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe ... same as the voodoo lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same ... so just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself ... ~ George Carlin

There was something strangely compelling about a Japanese guy with lamb-chop sideburns and a voice so shrill you could be forgiven for thinking his testicles were wired to the national grid. ~ Jamie Holoran

No one touches her," Ash said, his voice coated with frost. "Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles and put them in a jar. Understand? ~ Julie Kagawa

Ever since, two summers ago, Joe Marino had begun to come into her bed, a preposterous fecundity had overtaken the staked plans, out in the side garden where the southwestern sun slanted in through the line of willows each long afternoon. The crooked little tomato branches, pulpy and pale as if made of cheap green paper, broke under the weight of so much fruit; there was something frantic in such fertility, a crying-out like that of children frantic to please. Of plants, tomatoes seemed the most human, eager and fragile and prone to rot. Picking the watery orange-red orbs, Alexandra felt she was cupping a giant lover's testicles in her hand. ~ John Updike

What was the old saying? If it has tires or testicles, it's gonna give you problems. ~ P.C. Cast

Because men, compared to male chimps, have such relatively small testicles (large testicles indicate a species where many males mate, one after the other, with the same female), we might guess that promiscuous societies were uncommon in the immediate human past. ~ Carl Sagan

Hey ladies - I got hands. They are exquisite and highly trained from years of fingering and fisting. My hands can kick your new boyfriend's hands' ass. All I'm saying is go for something a lesbian can't give you, like testicles or musk or unwanted pregnancy. Don't be bragging about how your man cries or listens to you. You can get that with us. ~ Jennifer Baumgardner

In 1975, Richard Doll and Bruce Armstrong published a seminal analysis of diet and cancer, in which they noted that, the higher the sugar intake in different nations, the higher both the incidence of and mortality from cancer of the colon, rectum, breast, ovary, uterus, prostate, kidney, nervous system, and testicles. ~ Gary Taubes