Judy Gold Quotes

In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting.

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative.

Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was.

Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love.

Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator.

I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks.

I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything.

There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are.

My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ.

My Shabbat dinner is not to be reckoned with.

Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience.

If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself.

I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell.

I try to win the love and approval of strangers, since it didn't work with my family.

For me, humor is everything!

When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.'

To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing.

I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay.

I've never been on one of these shows where you have to make alliances and be a team player.

The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus.

I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!'

Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties.

Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power.

Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh.

I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes.

When Joan Rivers walked through the curtain on 'The Tonight Show,' nobody in my house was allowed to utter a sound. Her gait was full of pep and purpose and her voice unmatched.

I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy.

It's fun to be someone else.

My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting.

My doctor said I had OCD. I couldn't believe it. I had to call him nine times to make sure.

The first time I did stand-up was on a dare.

'The Judy Show' would be the name of my TV show if I had one, but I don't.

I'm going to be a 'Chopped' champion.

Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I.

I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners.

Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking.

I've gotten resistance for my entire career.

When I got a part in 'All American Girl,' in 1994, I remember thinking, 'Now I have a series, I'm not going to need to do standup,' but every night I'd go out afterward and get onstage somewhere.

What if obese people couldn't get married?

Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage.

Twelve years ago my mother gets her cataracts removed. So twelve years ago the doctor gives her these enormous sunglasses to wear to protect her eyes from the sun for 4-6 weeks after the operation ... twelve years ago. She still wears them. She thinks they're attractive. She looks like Bea Arthur as a welder.

Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh.

My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act.