Edward Lear Quotes

On the whole, as the morbid & mucilaginous monkey said when he climbed up to the top of the Palm-tree & found no fruit there - one can't depend upon dates.

And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner, But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?

What will happen to me, as the oyster said when he very inadvertently swallowed the gooseberry bush, nobody can tell.

There was an Old Man of the East, Who gave all his children a feast; But they all ate so much, and their conduct was such, That it killed that Old Man of the East.

A vile beastly rottenheaded foolbegotten brazenthroated pernicous piggish screaming, tearing, roaring, perplexing, splitmecrackle crashmecriggle insane ass of a woman is practising howling below-stairs with a brute of a singingmaster so horribly, that my head is nearly off.

I am in a very unsettled condition, as the oyster said when they poured melted butter all over his back.

There was an Old Person of Bray, Who sang through the whole of the day To his ducks and his pigs, whom he fed upon figs, That valuable Person of Bray.

There was an Old Man of Messina, Whose daughter was named Opsibeena; She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig, To the perfect delight of Messina.

It's a fact the whole world knows,
That Pobbles are happier without their toes.

Two old Bachelors were living in one house; One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse.

When awful darkness and silence reign Over the great Gromboolian plain, Through the long, long wintry nights;

They danced by the light of the moon.

Who, or why, or which, or what, Is the Akhond of Swat?

I am almost thanking God that I was never educated, for it seems to me that 999 of those who are so, expensively and laboriously, have lost all before they arrive at my age-& remain like Swift's Stulbruggs-cut and dry for life, making no use of their earlier-gained treasures:-whereas, I seem to be on the threshold of knowledge.

And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon. The moon. The moon. They danced by the light of the moon.

In the middle of the woods Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. Two old chairs and half a candle, One old jug without a handle- These were all the worldly goods.

There was a Young Person in pink, Who called out for something to drink; But they said, 'O my daughter, there's nothing but water!' Which vexed that Young Person in pink.

There was a Young Lady of Poole, Whose soup was excessively cool; So she put it to boil, by the aid of some oil, That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.

They went to sea in a sieve, they did; In a sieve they went to sea; In spite of all their friends could say.

Fish fiddle de-dee!

The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat ...

There was an Old Person of Blythe,
Who cut up his meat with a scythe,
When they said, 'Well! I never!' - he cried, 'Scythes for ever!'
That lively Old Person of Blythe.

Such such is life -
Where early buffaloes in congress meet
Than salt more salt, than sugar still more sweet,
And pearly centipedes adjust their feet

And they brought an Owl, and a useful Cart, And a pound of Rice, and a CranberryTart, And a hive of silvery Bees. And they brought a Pig, and some green Jack-daws, And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws, and forty Bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree, And no end of Stilton Cheese.

There was a Young Lady of Norway,

Who casually sat in a doorway;

When the door squeezed her flat, she exclaimed "What of that?"

This courageous Young Lady of Norway.

I was much distressed by next door people who had twin babies and played the violin; but one of the twins died, and the other has eaten the fiddle, so all is peace.