Derek Hough Quotes

Break it down.

What are you really afraid of? Is it the water or is it not being able to breathe? Is it sitting in the dentist chair or not being in control of a situation? Analyze it and get to the place where you can see what's really haunting you and holding you back. I find that fears are not as big and powerful as we make them out to be. They're just made up of many thoughts that have woven together. Unravel them, pick them apart, tackle them one by one. It's like breaking down a wall, brick by brick.

No problem is ever hopeless--not even when you're facing your enemies with a stiff neck!

I feel fairly certain that my painting skills might not be best shown on 'Dancing with the Stars.' I'll have to come up with another way to showcase that side of me.

Visualize the success, not the failure.

This part is tough for us perfectionists. We have a hard time ever seeing ourselves as winners; our heads tend to go to a place of "Nothing is going right." Don't get hung up on the minutiae. Say what you want, out loud, over and over again. Sound crazy? It works. Before I go onto the competition floor, sometimes I look in the mirror and say out loud, "I want you to do your very best, and I want you to be passionate and be in the moment." Giving myself those marching orders often reminds me to focus on the positive instead of getting lost in what might be wrong (but likely is just in my head).

Whenever Shirley was away, Mark and I would take full advantage. One day, we "borrowed" her BMW X5 and took it for a joyride. We thought we got away with it, till some store clerk remarked to her, "I didn't know your boys drove! I saw them driving around yesterday."
Shirley came home and was determined to get to the bottom of it. She knew better than to ask us--we'd have some lame excuse. So she went right to Julianne. She knew she could crack her.
"Did Derek and Mark take my car?" she asked.
Jules didn't even hesitate. "Yes! And they were smoking, too!"
Mark and I stood there, our mouths hanging open. Not only had she told on us, she'd offered more details than were even asked!

Failure can't live in the company of perseverance.

Failure eventually surrenders. Corky and Shirley taught me this. It took them ten years to win Blackpool. Ten years! Some people would give up and throw in the towel after ten minutes! Every time they lost, all the people around them blamed Corky. But he was relentless. He was going to prove his talent not just to the naysayers but also to himself. There were many times as a competitive dancer when I felt deflated and not good enough, but I never gave up--the Ballases never let me. You always have to keep on moving forward and having faith. Think of the greatest leaders we know. What do they all have in common? They all fought some uphill battle to get where they are. Call it tenacity, persistence, or plain old stubbornness. When someone or something tries to push me off my path, that's when I dig my heels in even harder. I'll be honest: in some areas of my life, I have this mastered. In others, I need a little reminder now and then. There's nothing you can't do if you see it through.

When I was sixteen, we were at the UK championships in the Winter Gardens back in Blackpool. My partner and I were traveling clockwise around the floor doing a paso doble. I was really into it, envisioning myself as the fierce matador. I was intense. I paid no mind to what was going on around me--not the forty other dancers swirling around us, not the flow of the traffic. I thought to myself, "Man! I am on fire!" Then I heard a voice over the microphone:
"Derek, you're going the wrong way."
I froze in my tracks. It was Bill Irvine, the world champion and ballroom legend who was a commentator that day. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Corky waving his arms in the air like a madman, signaling me to turn around.
I was mortified, but I didn't want to show it. So I smiled, pretended I wasn't the least bit embarrassed, and did a 360, pulling my partner with me. I went right back into the routine, unfazed. Corky always taught me both to be quick on my feet and to think quickly. And if I screwed up, to cover my tracks.

Whatever you focus on is your reality.

You tend to move in the direction of what you're focused on--especially when it's bad. I remember when I was about nine years old, staying with my grandma and grandpa at the lake, I was playing with my cousins at this construction site. Not the safest place to play, which I suppose is what attracted me to it. I saw a two-by-four with a nail sticking out of it, and I remember running and thinking, Oh man, wouldn't it be terrible if I fell on that? A few moments later, it actually happened. I tripped and the nail went straight through my knee. I ended up going to the hospital with a two-by-four stuck to my knee because we were afraid to pull it out. The nail was about a centimeter away from cutting a vital tendon that would have required major surgery. So I was really fortunate in that regard. But I couldn't help thinking that my focus on this nail created the situation. I've learned since then that we all have the power to create our own destiny. On some level, we ask for things that happen to us in our lives. You have to know what you want, then be aware of the thoughts you hold in your mind. Negative ones--fear, anger, jealousy, frustration--will undermine you. If you see the nail tripping you up, it will.

LEADING LESSONS
Excuses hold you back.

Excuses they keep you from doing what needs to be done and from living your truth. When I was making all those lame excuses for why my performance was going to suck, I was refusing to own it. And when you don't commit wholeheartedly to a situation, you're always somewhere floating in the middle, never really operating at your full potential. We tend to make excuses when things don't go according to our original plans. Or we blame something or someone else for our mistakes. You can also make excuses for the things you don't do--why you haven't left a job you hate, followed your dream, or taken a risk. In the end, all those excuses add up to the same thing: a smoke screen. When you make an excuse, you're rejecting the truth and trying to buffer yourself from the consequences of your actions. Leaders own what they do. This was something I had to learn through experience. I saw how pawning off responsibility (like blaming a bad back for a bad performance) was not helping me improve or grow. People who constantly make excuses are often afraid they're not good enough or can't live up to others' expectations. Maybe in the beginning it makes you feel better: "If I just explain it this way, I won't look so bad." But the end result is always self-defeating. Excuses will always get in the way of a responsible life.

I love helping people fulfill their dreams, but I also want to revive some of my old dreams as well. Dr. Dale E. Turner once wrote, "Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born." As a kid, I had a lot of dreams. I wanted to be an explorer, an Oscar-winning leading man, a rock guitarist/singer. But I got into a groove and I began to let those dreams go and accept they weren't going to happen.
Now, I think I've reached a point where I want to quench the thirst of all my dreams. If they don't come to fruition in the exact way I envisioned them, that's okay. I at least want to pursue them.

Fuel your body.

Think about your environment as an ecosystem. If there's pollution, you'll feel the toxic side effects; if you're in the fresh air of the mountains, you'll feel alive. You'd be surprised at how many of the foods that we eat actually sap our body of fuel. Just look at three quick examples: soda, potato chips, and hamburgers. I'm not a hard-liner who says that you should never consume these things, but this kind of steady diet will make it harder for your body to help you. Instead, look at the foods that are going to give you energy. Choose food that's water soluble and easier for your body to break down, which gives you maximum nutrition with minimal effort. Look at a cucumber: it's practically water and it takes no energy to consume, but it's packed with nutrients. Green for me is the key.
We overeat and undernourish ourselves way too much. When you eat bad food, your body will feel bad and then you will feel bad. It's all connected. I drink green juice every day and eat huge salads. I am also a big believer in lean protein to feed and fuel the muscles--I might even have a chicken breast for breakfast.
Growing up, because I danced every single day, I would basically eat anything I wanted and I wouldn't gain any weight. I would eat anything and everything trying to put on a few pounds, but it never worked--and my skin was terrible as a result of it. We'd blame it on the sweat from the dancing, but I never connected it to what I ate. As I go

How difficult was it during the first few seasons of Dancing with the Stars when you were competing against Mark and Julianne?

It wasn't hard for me because we competed against each other growing up. Those days, it was hard-core competition. This felt a little more like fun competition for us. But when Julianne beat us that first season, Mark and I both said, "Well, that feels weird!

The only disability you have is between your ears.

We all have our disabilities; we all have our little insecurities--some are just more visible than others. How do you handle yours? Do you let them hold you back? I've learned that our brains play many tricks on us. Fear and doubt are only in your mind and have as much power as you give them. When Amy was lying in a hospital bed, being pumped full of fluids and fighting to stay alive, a doctor asked her what she believed in. "I believe in love," she told him. "And I've got a lot more love to give." It's incredible to know someone who's been on the brink of death and come out on the other side. Amy doesn't want sympathy or pity or special treatment. Her legs are her legs--she doesn't see them as a disability. It's not about what you have or don't have--it's what you give and you share with others. The more you put into something, the more fulfillment you get back in return.

LEADING LESSONS
Criticism can be useful.

I've taken a beating from the DWTS judges on many occasions. Most of the time, because I'm always aware of the cameras in my face, I just suck it up and take it. Here's the thing: I realize that maybe they're seeing something I'm not. Sometimes you're too close to a situation, too connected to it, to be 100 percent honest with yourself. Or your ego gets in the way and won't let you improve, because that would mean changing course and admitting you were wrong. I tell my partners to listen carefully when Len, Carrie Ann, or Bruno has a constructive criticism for us. Yes, sometimes it boils down to taste and opinion (and I don't always agree), but often it's a valid point. They want us to succeed. The way I see it, you have lots of choices on how to handle it: the first is to lose your temper, get defensive, and spend the rest of the night beating yourself up about it. The second--a natural reaction for most people--is to mentally shut down when someone points out your flaws. Who wants to hear that? Let me just drown it out and ignore it. The third option is your best: keep your mind and your ears open. You can learn about your weaknesses and how you can improve them. A leader is never scared of criticism, but instead knows there is always room to grow and improve. So bring it on.

Don't jump to conclusions over first impressions.

They're often dead wrong. When I first met Mark, I thought he was spoiled. When I met Shirley, I assumed she was tough as nails. But getting to know them both as a member of their family, I saw how wrong I was. Shirley is a teddy bear, a caring, loving person who would do anything for me. And Mark? I think of him as a brother, in every sense of the word. I've learned to make a special effort to get to know the people who put up walls and seem cold or tough. It's like an onion; you have to peel back the layers. I'm sure some of my DWTS partners made an assumption about who I was the first time they worked with me. They probably thought I was a tough taskmaster and cursed me out for putting them through this! But anyone who truly knows me will tell you, I'm harder on myself than I am on anyone else. And I'm a softie who loves to goof around. But to see that side of me, you need to move past the first impression. What's the lesson here? Dig a little deeper. Get to know people and what makes them tick. Don't make an assumption till you know someone a lot better. Think of all the people you might have dismissed who could have been great friends, mentors, or allies, if you'd only given them the chance.
Perfect example: dancing with Lil' Kim on DWTS. She had recently spent time in jail and I remember thinking, Oh my gosh, I'm afraid I'm going to get shanked in the middle of the dance! Then I realized I was judging her

I grew up really fast when I moved to England when I was 12 years old.

I'd love to do more theatre and acting. I attended a performing arts high school in London, and it would be great to be able to put all of that training to use again.

HIGH-ALKALINE FOODS

Vegetables
Beets, Broccoli, Cauliflower, Celery, Cucumbers, Kale, Lettuce, Mushrooms, Onions, Peas, Peppers, Pumpkin, Spinach, Sprouts, Wheatgrass

Fruits
Apples, Apricots, Avocados, Bananas, Blueberries, Cantaloupe, Cherries (sour), Grapes, Melon, Lemon, Oranges, Peaches, Pears, Pineapple, Raspberries, Strawberries, Watermelon

Protein
Almonds, Chestnuts, Whey Protein Powder, Tofu

Spices
Cinnamon, Curry, Ginger, Mustard, Sea Salt

The key for me is really just to stay in a child-like state in the rehearsal studio. I'm really goofy and really silly and crazy. If I get too serious, I start hitting a wall.

Never be the best in the room.

The champions in life--in every field of endeavor--feel the constant challenge to take the content up a notch. Champions know that if we are not stretching and pushing ourselves to our ultimate capacity and potential as human beings, someone else, somewhere else, is.

Keep in mind the rewards ahead.

Workouts provide awesome internal rewards; after a long dance practice or gym workout I always have more energy and a clearer mind, and I'm able to focus on things I need to get done. But we all know it's hard to remember that great feeling when you're headed off to the gym, dreading the work ahead. Conjuring that ecstatic state of mind you know you'll find later can be a tremendous motivator. If you prefer external rewards, motivate yourself with baby steps every day to hit a bigger long-term goal--one with a luxurious reward as your prize. Once you've reached it, allow yourself to follow through with whatever reward it was that motivated you, whether it's a great glass of wine or a Sunday movie marathon.

What makes you so happy? You are always smiling. What is your key to being so happy?

Let's be clear--I'm not always happy. There are days I want to jump off a cliff. But saying that, even on my bad days, I make a conscious decision to be happy. You have to make that decision every day, many times a day. I want to be happy, so I am.

I understand now that nothing amazing is ever accomplished without fear. It's a sign that you're on the road to experiencing greatness.

I think for me, the thing that gets me in the right mindset is just watching something funny, something light, something that makes me feel good. Regardless of what it is - when you feel good, when you feel upbeat, creativity flows!

For me, I like to push myself ... I hate feeling complacent or that I'm not learning.

Whether I'm doing a routine where I want to move people, or if I want to feel moved myself, I definitely tap into those moments where it's not just dancing or movement. It might just be a hand gesture or just a slow look, or even just the way you slightly tip your head forward. These subtleties speak volumes.

I enjoy being a student and learning. I don't think you should ever stop being a student. That's where the most creative ideas come from. Teaching is a blessing as well because I get to share what I've learned and my passion for creative movement with people.

You didn't earn your heart; you didn't pay for it. It was given to you as a gift. So take advantage of it, enjoy it, and treat yourself the best way possible. A lot of us are just getting through or managing. Raise your standards. Grow, progress, push yourself, and in turn you will love yourself more. And when you love yourself more, you can love others.

Whether it be through television, or through music, or through dance, or through film, whatever it is, as long as it's the right project that makes sense, then I'm all for it.

It's a fact that a dancer's career is not forever. Eventually, if you dance hard and you dance often, your body is going to rebel. I do dance hard and often, but I don't think about that. I know there may come a point where I won't be able to do what I do now. I know a lot of pros who retire in their thirties. I've seen it and wondered, What if…? But I keep it way, way in the back of my mind. Instead, I look for ways to defy age and keep my body strong and limber. I learn as much as I can about nutrition and exercise and I keep moving forward. Life is truly a series of transitions, from one season to another, from one phase to another.

Let's create, not destroy. Let's believe and not doubt.

Our first stop was London, where there were a few competitions leading up to Blackpool. I had never seen this level of competition before. I was so excited by the energy and the feeling of being around all these amazing dancers. I wasn't overwhelmed, just a little embarrassed. Everyone looked so polished, and they all smelled like fancy cologne. Comparatively, I looked and felt like the poor kid on the block. I didn't own the proper costume (white tie, black jacket, and black trousers), so I'd rented one from a wedding store before we left home. It was baggy in all the wrong places, and I didn't have the right shoes.
Watching the dancers get ready backstage, we realized we were also completely unprepared. They'd put water or castor oil on the floor and rub the soles of their shoes in it. Then they'd scratch the soles with a wire brush, roughening up the suede to prevent slipping. As we stepped out for the first round, Autumn spit in the middle of the dance floor and rubbed her feet in it. She encouraged me to do the same, so I did--hoping that not too many people were watching. I remember thinking, Yeah, we are definitely from out of town.

I think models in general have a certain insecurity about themselves because they're known for being beautiful, so they have to prove to everybody they have personality and they are intelligent.

There's this great line in the song "Corner of the Sky": "Don't you see I want my life to be something more than long?" I can relate. I want to leave my footprint on this world in a positive, meaningful way.

Let me tell you right now, you are not alone. Seeking help requires incredible strength and courage. The most powerful weapon you have against bullying is your voice,

I began to look at my experiences as life lessons. What could they teach me? What was the purpose of my pain and suffering if not to make me a better, stronger person who is more equipped to lead? You know the old saying "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I think it's more than that. I think what doesn't kill you makes you wiser and a better human being. It opens your eyes, your heart, and your mind. You may not have control over everything that happens to you in your life externally, but you always have some control over what's going on internally--how you handle your life experiences and what you take away from them.

It's such a cliche thing to say. I want to choreograph, I want to direct, I want to act, I want to write music, I want to play music, I want to sing. For me, it's never-ending. I want to do it all, really.

When you do so many different things, the plus is, you're putting yourself out there. The minus is, you're putting yourself out there.

The superior human being will always see the light in someone and choose to encourage that light instead of dimming it.

If you want something, ask for it.

Another thing I learned while living with the Ballases was that if you want love or affection, sometimes you've just got to ask for it. This is tough for a lot of people. As adults, the fear of rejection or embarrassment often stops the words before you ever utter them. But leaders aren't afraid to ask for what they want and need. Even if someone shoots you down, you've put it out there in the universe. I'd tease Nan or Shirley: "I'm feeling kind of down today, get over here and give me a hug, dammit." And they did. The people who love you want to come through for you; you just sometimes need to make that easier by saying what you need. It isn't selfish or bossy or demanding. It's respecting yourself and your worth. I loved the freedom of not being afraid to just ask for something instead of waiting and being disappointed if it never came. Asking for something is simply the best way to ensure that you eventually get it.

I come from a theatrical background, where, if you're working on a movie or a play, you always respect the people you work with. You're accommodating.

In school, some of my favorite subjects ... I mean, art was my favorite subject. I loved art! I used to go during lunch time to the art room and paint or draw or something.

LEADING LESSONS
There's always an answer.

No problem is ever hopeless--not even when you're facing your enemies with a stiff neck! With every disappointment on the dance floor, I grew to believe this more. Now, instead of feeling overwhelmed, frazzled, or that life is conspiring against me, I hold on and tell myself the answer is just an inch away. Great leaders are great simplifiers. They can cut through the doubt and despair so the solution becomes clear. It may not be instantaneous, but it will be there. Every challenge can be faced in dozens of ways. Sometimes the situation changes, or sometimes you change the way you see the situation. Part of our human condition is that we feel that we have to suffer in order to solve a problem. It doesn't have to be this way. Sometimes surrender is freedom.

I never dreamed of dancing on television or anything like that. It's more of things that come along that excite me and inspire me.

While my parents were mulling it over, a problem cropped up with Mark's dance partner. The girl outgrew him--literally. All of a sudden, she was a head taller! So he needed someone new, and fast.
"Hey, maybe you should dance with my sister, Julianne!" I teased him. She was all of nine years old at the time, still studying at Center Stage. I could see the wheels turning in Shirley's head as soon as the words came out of my mouth.

Growing up I was afraid of heights; if I looked down I got instantly queasy. So what did I decide to do a few years ago? Go skydiving with my sisters. I stood on the ground, waiting for my turn, watching them jump out of a small plane strapped to some dude's back. All I could see were these tiny blond dots floating in the air. Then one of the instructors (thankfully he was on his own and not tied to a Hough!) lost control of his chute. It got twisted and he began to spiral toward the ground. Everyone watching below gasped; he was plunging to his death. At the very last second, he pulled his auxiliary chute and glided down to safety.
After landing, he walked right over to me. "Phew, that was a close one. Okay, Derek, you're up next. You're comin' with me."
I felt my stomach leap into my throat. Are you serious? You're a dead man walking and you want me to go up with you? Then reason kicked in: What was the likelihood lightning would strike twice and his chute would fail again? And if it did, clearly the guy knew how to get out of trouble.
"Um, okay…I guess." I read the disclaimer and signed it. In a nutshell, it said, "If you die, we're not responsible." Thanks a lot.

I'm just the biggest klutz. That's the problem. I don't get hurt doing cool things.

They read the names out from sixth place to first. We were standing backstage behind a huge curtain, and Rachael and Evgeni were right next to us. Swell. I thought maybe we stood a chance of coming in fourth. But they didn't call us. "This is crazy!" I whispered to Aneta. "We're top three?" Then they called a German couple. We were in the top two!
Rachael smiled at me. "Oh, Derek! Great job!" she said. What she really meant was, "We're going to take first place and you can have our sloppy seconds." Then we heard, "In second place, from England…" Rachael's face went white as a ghost. She and Evgeni were second! That left only one place for us…
"Derek Hough and Aneta Piotrovska are world champions!"
I started screaming, "What? What?" and jumping up and down. So much for my neck pain. This wasn't real; it couldn't be! I ran out from behind the curtain, pumping my fists in the air. I caught a glimpse of Rachael's face. She was beyond pissed.
"We did it! We did it!" I yelled. The rest happened in slow motion: I ran out and jumped off the stage and the floor. While I was midair, I remember thinking, " I'm wearing these Cuban heels. This isn't gonna be good." Then I hit the floor and my legs buckled. I fell into a roll, then stood straight up--as if I meant to do it all along. I limped over to Aneta to collect our trophy and we hugged. I didn't give a crap about anything else. Not my neck or my knees or Rachael fuming as they snapped pictures of all of us. It was

After the show, everybody would go out drinking, but I was always in bed by eleven thirty. There was no partying for me; I was the boring one. I lived in constant fear that my voice would give out on me, so I tried to rest it, eat right, get lots of sleep. I ate chicken breasts and whole potatoes like they were apples to keep up my energy and maintain my weight. When I came home after the show, Nan would leave my dinner ready and waiting in the microwave, and I would just heat it up. The Ballases always had a thing about not eating alone. Even if it was midnight, Nan would hear me banging around the kitchen, come downstairs in her robe, light up a cigarette, and keep me company. We'd chat about our day for about an hour while I ate, and it was our time together. I don't know if it's an English thing or what, but getting my Nan to say "I love you" was like pulling teeth. I came from a family where it was said often, and I was determined to teach her. So I would joke with her and grab her: "I'm not going to bed unless you say you love me back!" She would kind of mumble it, but I would insist she say it properly until she eventually caved in. I continued doing this whenever we parted ways, until eventually it became natural for her to say.

You can't change the cards you were dealt, but you can always choose how you play your hand.

We lived in a safe, family-friendly area, but parts of London were rough, as you'd expect from any large city. Mark had a knack for attracting muggers. One time, we were in a train station and a little kid--no more than about eight years old--came up to him: "Oi, mate, give me your phone." We always carried the cool Nokia phones with the Snake game on them, and they were the hot item. It was like inviting trouble carrying one around, but we didn't care.
Mark thought the mini-mugger was crazy: "Are you kidding me? No way." Then he looked over his shoulder and realized the kid wasn't alone; he had a whole gang with him. So Mark handed over his phone and the kid ran off. I never let him live down the fact that an eight-year-old had mugged him.
I had my own incident as well, but I handled it a little differently. I got off the train at Herne Hill station and noticed that two guys were following me. I could hear their footsteps getting closer and closer. "Give us your backpack," they threatened me.
"Why? All I have is my homework in here," I tried to reason with them. They had seen me on the train with my minidisc player and they knew I was holding out on them. "Give it," they threatened.
My bag was covered with key chains and buttons, and as I took it off my shoulder, pretending to give it to them, I swung it hard in their faces. All that hardware knocked one of them to the ground and stunned the other. With my bag in my hand, I ran the mile home without ever

LEADING LESSONS
Free yourself to have bad ideas.

Whenever I try to think of a brilliant new dance routine, it usually falls flat on its face. It's crushed by the weight of my own expectations for brilliance. It's much more fruitful to follow the advice of the songwriter who said, "When you write new songs, write for the trash can." When I start choreographing a new dance, I don't care how bad the idea is, and I allow myself to run with it. Challenge yourself to think of five awful, terrible, of-my-God-this-stinks ideas. They get the juices flowing. And when you have those five, at the very least you have creative momentum and, more often than not, some of those ideas have legs. Think about the one thing that's original to you and no one else. What's your unique voice? Find that voice and shout with it.

LEADING LESSONS
It's the failures that make us winners.

When you win a competition, you celebrate. You are on cloud nine. But when you lose, you learn. In my case, losing Blackpool that first time was the best thing that ever happened to me. I dug deep down and asked myself what it was that was holding me back from achieving what I knew I was capable of. Failure shows you what's possible. It makes your desire burn hotter. It builds courage, and in the end, it makes the win that much sweeter. I would rather fail at something than regret never trying. Leaders think of failures as experiments, showing them what works and what doesn't and how to fix things. We live in a world where failure is thought of as something negative: no one likes the idea of screwing up. But what if you could change that? What if you could see failure as a positive? What if you could embrace failure as part of the process necessary to get what you want? Suddenly, the fear of it disappears. I never went into any competition wanting to fail (just the opposite), but after racking up my share of disappointments, I learned that I could deal with it. It hurt and pissed me off at the time, but now I see the value in it. I wouldn't be where I am today without those failures notched on my belt.

There is a tremendous rush in defying your fears--staring them down and daring them to mess with you.

Make exercising fun.

The same old routine at the gym can be a drag. It's good to mix it up. In addition to dancing I also enjoy hiking and swimming. And when you work out, do it someplace you find inspiring: a hike that brings you to a gorgeous view or a workout in the sand with the surf in your sight, even a small grassy spot in your backyard or a serene, uncluttered corner of your apartment. Recreational team sports also add variety to the mix: they put the focus on the fun of the game rather than the pain of the effort.

Fake it till you become it.


My first Argentine tango was with Lil' Kim, and again, I was completely learning it as I went along. Now it's become one of my favorite dances to do. Whenever people say to me, "You're such a great choreographer," or I look at my Emmy learning it in my apartment, I remind myself that I came into DWTS with no experience, no education in many of these dances, and certainly no clue how to teach anything to anybody. I simply committed to learning them and then taught them to my partners. I drew upon how I had been taught and what I thought my partners would respond to. I felt my way along, just as they did, till I became the teacher I wanted to be.
I threw myself into the effort without hesitation because I had no choice. There were only two options: I could go out there and throw my hands up and say, "Just kidding! I'm a phony," or get it done. I couldn't let myself or my partners down.
This was the stage I was given, and I always want to be the best at whatever I'm doing. I never wanted my partners to feel they couldn't rely on me. I had to go in there and make it happen. With that mentality, I found a way.

LEADING LESSONS
Use your fears; don't let them direct or define you.

Fear sends your brain a message that it's time to make a decision--like when I decided I would ride that coaster. You can also decide to do nothing; you can stand watching the world zip by from the sidelines. I choose to see my fears as a green light. They mean go, not stop, and you're always in the driver's seat. Don't give fear any more power than it already has. As I said, I was often afraid of failure. But instead of letting the fear keep me from reaching my goals, I let it propel me. In the movie After Earth, Will Smith's character states that fear is simply made up by our own imaginations. "Danger is real, but fear is a choice." Who knew Will was such a gifted philosopher? I agree 100 percent. Why is one person afraid of something and another other person isn't? We're all humans, but we've all had different experiences and therefore we have different associations. It's personal. The possibility of freedom exists wherever fear lies. When you realize that it's you who is creating this fear, the fear loses its ability to control you.

Surround yourself with positive influences.

When I think about the times I've excelled the most in my life, I was always around people who were like-minded and pushed me in a positive way. In order for a plant to grow it needs to be in the right environment and it needs nourishment. My coaches and my fellow students at the studio gave that to me. Likewise, if you put a plant in the dark and you don't ever water it, it's going to die. And if you're not growing, you're dying! So be aware and cautious of your surroundings: Is this the right place for me to grow? You can't choose your family, but you can choose your peers. Love your crazy siblings and parents, but don't hang with people who try to distract you and pull you from your path.

GET MOVING

People are often scared of the word exercise. We associate the word with pain, and we think of it as a chore. (And it can be--who likes going to the gym at 6 A.M.?) If that's how you're thinking, then you need to change your psychology. I don't think of my body in terms of exercise; I think in terms of movement. Look at the actual word--I see it as "meant to move." As human beings, going back to the beginning of civilization, we've had to move to survive. We had to throw spears to hunt, we had to prepare land to plant seeds, we had to gather firewood. Our bodies are hardwired to move. Not even TiVo can rewire those thousands of years of DNA. This isn't a new idea, but it's easy to forget: your body is connected to your mind and spirit.
People say, "I'm miserable because I'm overweight" or "I'm overweight because I'm miserable," but these two go hand in hand. I know when I drink to excess or put poisons in my body, the next day I'm not going to feel happy or inspired. The body is the vehicle that can help you reach your dreams. Keeping it moving, strong, and healthy paves the way to overall well-being. You can't say you love yourself when you abuse yourself physically, and by not using your body, you're abusing it.
But here's the first piece of good news: you don't have to be in the gym to exercise. You just need to move--and keep moving. It can be anywhere, at any time. Sometimes I'll do push-ups during a commercial break while watching TV. Som

Fast-forward about twenty years: I was in Bora Bora on vacation. I was scuba diving, and thirty or so lemon sharks started hovering around me in the water. My first thought was, Wow, this is a lot more terrifying up close and personal than it is on Discovery Channel Shark Week. My next thought was, What do I do? I know the name lemon shark sounds sweet, but look it up. They are the ugliest, most terrifying sharks, and they get up to about ten feet long. That's big enough to take off your head in a single bite. I hadn't signed up for a shark encounter. In fact, they didn't tell us much about what to expect down there, and there was no training session. It was more like, "Are you certified? Okay, just jump in." After several minutes of being stalked by this pack of predators, I was overcome by a calmness. I remember feeling the sharks brush past my head and knock into my back. I couldn't keep my eye on all of them--they were everywhere--so I just let it be. They didn't bother me, and I didn't bother them. Instead, the thing that freaked me out on the dive was a harmless little suckerfish that decided to hang out in my face. Every time I turned around, he was there, stalking me.

I'm all for big production - I love putting on shows.

I find that while each partner might have needed some specific coaching, the real tests we faced were basically the same, season after season. We had to learn to move as a team. We had to master complex, carefully timed choreography. We had to face the hot lights and live action and the idea that millions of eyes were upon us. But beyond that, I needed to inspire and instill confidence in each person I coached and danced with. I needed to communicate with an open heart and empathetic, encouraging words. I had to critique usefully and praise strategically. I also needed to be my authentic self--exposing my personal vulnerabilities to win their trust. Ultimately, I had to make each of my partners embrace not just me, but also her own sill and power. Every partner I've danced with has it within them to kick ass and climb mountains. When you put yourself in a situation when you're vulnerable, that's when your power is revealed. And it's always there; it's part of your DNA. It's like a woman walking into a room looking for the diamond necklace and realizing it's around her neck. I'm not changing any of these ladies; I'm helping them rediscover themselves.
And truth be told, that was never my goal. I never walked into a studio thinking, I'm going to transform this person's life. I'm no therapist! I was just trying to put some damn routines together! But I realized after all these seasons that the dance is a metaphor for the journey. Every one of my partners has had a very diff

Fake it till you become it.

Before DWTS, I was not a choreographer; I was not a teacher. I was neither of those things and had never attempted them before. So the best I could do was fake it. I had to play the part of the pro for the cameras. I couldn't walk into the studio and confide in Jennie or Shawn or any of my partners, "Gee, I'm sorry. I have no idea what I'm doing." I had to take the lead and be strong. When I was dancing with Brooke Burke, they asked us to do the Lindy Hop. I had never done it before in my life. I went on YouTube and watched videos of how to do it. Then I printed out a floor plan of the steps and learned it right along with Brooke. Did I ever let her in on the fact that I was a novice here as well? No. I just projected confidence and assurance, and she picked up on that vibe and went along with it. We did a damn fine Lindy.

The only thing certain in life is uncertainty.

When you're fearful of the unknown, what you're really unsure of is your ability to create your own life. Replace that fear with curiosity: What success or great outcome could come from this? What can I learn about myself that will help me reach my goals? Every one of my DWTS partners was worried about that first performance in front of the camera. I worried a few of them might even quit before they ever had a chance to perform. But once you hit that stage, it becomes crystal clear. The fear has nothing to do with the reality of that dance. It comes from not knowing what the experience will be like. Once you feel it and live it, that crippling fear vanishes. But you have to trust yourself: you have to take that first step.

You create your reality.

Corky reinforced this idea for me. He believes that even when you're not feeling on top of your game, you need to tell yourself that you are and put that image out there. It's like shifting a gear from off to on. If you are not feeling happy or driven, then make an effort to radiate a sense of confidence. If you're mortified that you screwed up a dance, pretend you're proud and unfazed. It's not self-deception; it's creating your own reality. Put it out there in the universe and watch what happens. You begin to realize who you are is what you believe you are. Your personal perception of reality is determined by how you think and feel. Your thoughts and feelings create your attitude, and your attitude dictates how you act. We all have an incredible power at our disposal: the power to become what we think about. Visualize what you want. See it, own it, be it.

I always want to be the best at what I do. That doesn't mean compared to other people, but just in what you do.

When you're a choreographer and you put so much into a routine that's emotionally driven, those are like my ideas and my little babies that I have here and then I put them out there and they're there to be judged and looked at. When it's all over, it's just such a relief.

Remind yourself where you come from.

I spent the majority of my life running away from Utah, from the life I led there, from the memories I associated with those early years. It felt very someone-else-ago to me. London changed me profoundly.
When we were dancing on DWTS together, Jennifer Grey called me one night. She was having trouble with her back and wanted to see a physiotherapist. "Can you come with me?" she asked. She drove us through a residential section of Beverly Hills. We pulled into a house with a shed out back. Oddly, it didn't look like a doctor's office. There was a couch and incense burning. An Australian guy with a white beard came in : "Hey, mates." I looked at Jen and she winked at me. This was no physical therapy. She'd signed us up for some bizarre couples therapy!
The guy spoke to us for a while, then he asked Jennifer if she wouldn't mind leaving us to chat. I thought the whole thing was pretty out there, but I didn't think I could make a run for it.
"So, Derek," he said. "Tell me about your childhood." I laid it all out for him--I talked for almost two hours--and he nodded. "You can go pick him up now."
I raised an eyebrow. "Pick who up?"
The therapist smiled. "That younger boy, that self you left in Utah. You left him there while you've been on a mission moving forward so vigorously. Now you can go get him back."
I sat there, utterly stunned and speechless. It was beyond powerful and enlightening. Had I really

Cheat (sometimes)

Eating healthily is a part of my lifestyle, but I'm no superhuman. My Kryptonite is at the movie theater. I can't go to the movies unless I have popcorn (with butter and salt, of course), and I'll also get nachos with extra cheese and jalapeños, then some M&Ms, water, and a root beer if I really want to get crazy. It's okay to cheat…provided you do it only occasionally. If you never allow yourself to cheat, you put too much pressure on yourself and doom yourself to failure. Work hard and practice hard, but it's okay to cut yourself a break now and then.

Tigers fascinated me for so many reasons. They're strong and fierce, but also beautiful and elegant. I remember loving the way they moved, how they were able to control their power. I would spend hours staring at their faces and drawing them: the eyes could display such a range of emotion. I loved that they have no fear. When they walk through a jungle, they own it.

Visualize a purpose and an outcome.

This concept really struck me from reading Frankl, and it's a lesson all leaders need to master. Think of it as a mental dress rehearsal for what will happen (notice I said will, not could). If you picture a positive result, it trains your brain to look for the resources that will help you achieve it. Seeing what you want stimulates your creativity and strengthens your confidence. This is more than just daydreaming. It's eliminating the self-doubt and negativity that can deter you, and putting in place a plan that will lead you on your desired path. And once you know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, it's much easier to face the dark.

You can't get caught up in perfect. It's not about what the paddle says. If you immerse yourself every single day for three months in this journey, you're going to grow. You're going to learn stuff about yourself; you're going to overcome your obstacle--be it physical or emotional. That's what's important.
But I want to be 100 percent honest here: there are days when I'm freaking out and I don't have the answers. I get frustrated, but I try and see it as a temporary situation and a separate entity from who I am. I step away from it. I've learned a ton about myself and how to manage myself and my expectations. There have been days when I've said to my partner, "I need you to help me today." I put them in the teacher role, and they wind up giving me the pep talk: "We can do this, Derek. We can do it." They're saying it, they're doing it, they're believing it.
Before DWTS, my work was instinctual and internal. It was something I could never put into words. But being a teacher forced me to dissect what I was doing and explain it. Some partners I could be really tough with and they'd respond to me. Others would shut down. If I got a little intense with Jennifer Grey, it was counterproductive, because she would block me out. But if I did this to Maria Menounos, she would get a fire in her belly and try harder. I have to learn to adjust myself to cater to each partner's needs and style of learning. If the look I get from her is deer in the headlights, I know I am on the wr

Vulnerability does not take away your strength

The walls that protect you are also the walls that imprison you.

There's no point in pointing a finger.


Leaders don't shirk responsibility. They accept it, even if they're not at fault, because they know how much can be learned in the process. We're all human; we all make mistakes. What if instead of assigning the blame for something that went wrong, you accept the responsibility for what you can do to make it right?

When I was hired, they asked me to cut my hair so I could look more like everyone else in the ensemble. I refused; long hair was kind of my thing. Instead, I gelled it and hair-sprayed it down so tightly, hurricane-force winds wouldn't have been able to budge it. Thankfully, they didn't complain or fire me. They had bigger things to worry about--like how to make a magical car fly over the stage.

When I woke up in the morning I was in bad shape. My neck was stiff and I couldn't turn it. We weren't pros, so there was no such thing as a physical therapist or masseuse to fix it. The best I could do was just rub in some Bengay and hope for the best. When we got to the Czech Republic a couple of days later, my neck still had zero mobility. In order to look to the side, I had to move my entire body. As if that weren't enough to worry about, we were competing against Rachael, who was now teamed up with the Russian guy who had beaten me as a junior. His name was Evgeni Smagin, and he wore his dark hair greased back. The guy just looked slick from head to toe.
I turned to Aneta. "This is so not good," I told her. "They are like the ultimate, ultimate couple. They're going to beat us."
Aneta looked very upset, so I guess something inside me said, "Derek, man up!" My neck was messed up and I was about to get my ass kicked by my archnemesis and my ex. It couldn't get much worse than that.

Every moment in your life should be meaningful; each one should have a takeaway lesson.

I'm an overthinker. Many of us are. My mind gets racing a thousand miles a minute and I get anxious about my work, my career, or where I need to be in thirty minutes. Every day I need to shut down this machine and simply be still.
Be aware of your breathing, really feel your breath going in, going out. Be aware of the feeling of the cloth on your shirt. Be aware of the grip on the steering wheel. Tell yourself--out oud--that the only thing that truly exists right now is this exact moment, and enjoy it, swim in it. Someone once said that your mind is like a raging river that's full of debris, and when you're floating in this river, you reach out and try to grab the branches and rocks. But what if you could climb onto the bank and watch the river? Suddenly you're in a calm place.
Maybe it sounds like a cliché to say, "Stop and smell the roses," so I'll tell you this instead: "Stop and watch the sunset." Just the other night, driving home in L.A., I was struck by how beautiful the sky was--a dark blue canvas painted with strokes of bright orange and red. It was truly one of the most glorious sunsets I'd ever seen. I was stuck in traffic, worrying about one thing or another, and I just gazed out the window and drank it in. I let it fill my soul and inspire me. The world stopped revolving for just that split second, and my mind was still and calm.
And to think, I could have missed it.

Embrace your multiple personalities.

As a kid, I went back and forth between being a metalhead and a Latin dancer. A strange combination? Yes, but it showed me that I should never let one single thing define who I am. I am many things, many voices, many personalities. I try to embrace them rather than suppress them. There's a time to be disciplined and there's a time to let go. There's a time to crowd-surf and a time to practice. The more variety in your life, the more color.
Sometimes I think we give ourselves a label: "I'm an accountant." Or "I'm a mom." Or "I'm a schoolteacher." That isn't all of you, just like dancing wasn't--and still isn't--all of me. Give yourself permission to embrace all the facets of you; it's what makes you unique and special. We are who we tell ourselves we are.