Purveyed Certified Quotes

Some of the same self-certified smart people, who preached about mushroom clouds and weapons of mass destruction, are once again trying to stampede us into war. They seem to think only with their guns. To those who want to shoot first and ask questions later in Iraq, I join in a firm 'No!' We've been there and done that, and America is still paying for their past failure. ~ Lloyd Doggett

Now I fix time machines for a living. To be more specific, I am a certified network technician for T-Class personal-use chronogrammatical vehicles, and an approved independent affiliate contractor for Time Warner Time, which owns and operates this universe as a spatio-temporal structure and entertainment complex zoned for retail, commercial, and residential use. ~ Charles Yu

The lesson of report cards, grades, and tests is that children should not trust themselves or their parents but should instead rely on the evaluation of certified officials. People need to be told what they are worth. ~ John Taylor Gatto

When I opened the world's largest Internet cafe, certified by the 'Guinness Book of Records,' in Times Square in New York, I was live on 'Good Morning America,' and for me, that was an achievement. ~ Stelios Haji-Ioannou

We are accessible 24/7 to assist you with reliable and Instant Pogo Games support. Our certified specialists will solve virtually any Pogo Game problem on-line and over the phone 1-855-213-4314 exploitation our suite of secure tools. ~ Pogo

the law of gravity's a friend of mine -
it's sensible law, i think it's fine.
if a thing goes up, it certainly must come back -
that's a BONA-FIDE, CERTIFIED, NATURAL FACT ~ The Holy Modal Rounders

If I change my name again y'all can have me certified as crazy. Alright? ~ Sean Combs

Anger is a certified destroyer, from its birth till now, it is yet to build a lasting legacy ~ Osho Samuel Adetunji

A certified fucking wake up call. ~ Gail McHugh

As someone who came to New York in the 1970s, I was, like so many of my friends, a certified member of what we now call the 99 percent - and I was a lot closer to the bottom than to the top of that 99 percent. At some point during the intervening years, I moved into the 1 percent. ~ Graydon Carter

They just didn't make them like that anymore. Nowadays she was lucky to get some mild flirtation from some leather-faced NRA lobbyist. Forget about doggy-style on an eighteenth-century canopied bed by a certified KGB agent who said things like beg for it my little Yankee poodle. ~ Magnus Flyte

As one whose genius has been duly certified by several dozen learned biographers, I think I may say a word or two on the topic of intellectual summits; which is simply that clarity of thought is a shining point in a vast expanse of unrelieved darkness. Genius is not so much a light as it is a constant awareness of the surrounding gloom, and its typical cowardice is to bathe in its own glow and avoid, as much as possible, looking out beyond its boundary. ~ Stanislaw Lem

Institutions that adopt systems and use them in certified ways in 2011 and 2012 could getting about $50,000 per doctor in total payments by being meaningful users of certified EHR technology over the period from 2011 to 2016. ~ Fred Trotter

For something to become a work of art, a labeling process must take place that requires three participants: an artist who produces an apt object, a client or public, and a critic or connoisseur who mediates between the artist and the public to assure them of the artness of the thing. If I make a painting, it is not sufficient for the painting to be "art" that I consider it so, nor even that you, my friend and neighbor, admire it and hang it on your wall; it must be certified as art by competent authority and exhibited in the institutionally appropriate place, a gallery or museum. ~ Wyatt MacGaffey

What do you think of this stuff?' he asked.

I looked at the bottle and discovered that it contained a miracle udder liniment, guaranteed to reduce pain and swelling. 'I've seen the ad in the Dairy Exporter, but that's about it,' I said. 'Does it work?' Personally I doubted that it would, since it's a bit of a stretch to ask something you rub on the skin to kill the bacteria lurking in the tissues ten centimetres down, but I had learnt through bitter experience that belittling someone's pet alternative treatment is almost as offensive as telling them their kid looks funny. (My all-time low was attending a cat after-hours wearing a T-shirt which read Homeopathy, making damn-all difference since 1796, and then learning that the cat's owner was a certified homeopath.) ~ Danielle Hawkins

The noblest lord is ushered in By the practicing physician, And the humblest lout is ushered out By a certified mortician. And in between, they find their foyers Alive with summonses from lawyers. ~ Ogden Nash

I would like it to be certified fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. ~ Rob Thomas

I work at a retirement home. I'm a CNA."
"What's that?"
"It stands for Certified Nursing Assistant."
"That sounds important," I said.
She laughed. "If changing old people's diapers is important."
I thought for a moment, then said, "It is for the old people. ~ Richard Paul Evans

I have an iron lung, and the dog keeps me from getting too close to magnets.
[...]
I have SARS. He's tallying the people I infect.
[...]
I'm nearsighted. He helps me read the road signs.
[...]
I'm a recovering alcoholic. The dog gets between me and a beer.
[...]
I have an irregular heartbeat and he's CPR certified.
[...]
Color-blind. He tells me when the traffic lights change.
[...]
He translates for my Spanish-speaking clients.
[...]
He's a chick magnet.
[...]
I'm a lawyer. He chases ambulances for me. ~ Jodi Picoult

Should a reasonable person not demand that philosophy should not be foolishly purveyed before people incompetent to see the point of it, as pearls before swine? For Nietzsche is utterly correct: philosophy is only for the healthy and whole-minded, the sick it has always only made even sicker. By means of philosophy they dig themselves even deeper into their pathetic delusions. ~ Kenny Smith

I could be a yoga instructor. I'm not certified, but I could do it. Once I did a class where the instructor didn't show up, and I just went to the front and did it, and everyone followed. So I've done it before, and I love it. ~ Nina Dobrev

Nonetheless, some prototype chimp suits had been developed, including the "SPCA Suit" - certified humane by the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. "To prove that a suit was safe for a man, we were going to test it on a chimp, but to prove the suit was safe for a chimp, we had to test it on a man," U.S. Spacesuits coauthor Joe McMann said in an email. "That was a mind boggler. ~ Mary Roach

We're proud to be offering air conditioning repair and heating services in Chandler for over 10 years. Our certified technicians will develop a solution that is specific to your home's needs. You can feel confident that our technicians will deliver high quality AC service in Chandler, because we offer a satisfaction guarantee to all of our customers. Simply The Best Heating & Cooling services all makes and models of heating equipment. If you require new heating equipment, Simply the Best is your HVAC repair company in Chandler for replacements and installations. ~ Simply The Best Heating & Cooling

I am, of course, directly descended from Brian Boru, the last king of Ireland, a fact certified by my mother and therefore beyond dispute. But as everybody else with a drop of Irish blood in his carcass is also a guaranteed descendant of the old billy goat, I am not overly arrogant because of this royal strain. ~ Preston Sturges

The Korean private market had unbundled education down to the one in-school variable that mattered most: the teacher. It was about as close to a pure meritocracy as it could be, and just as ruthless. In hagwons, teachers were free agents. They did not need to be certified. They didm;t have benefits or even guaranteed base salary; their pay was determined by how many students signed up for their classes, by their students' test-score growth, and, in many hagwons, by the results of satisfaction surveys given to students and parents. ~ Amanda Ripley

Knee-jerk liberals and all the certified saints of sanctified humanism are quick to condemn this great and much-maligned Transylvanian statesman. ~ William F. Buckley, Jr.

It is a certified kind of blindness - official, and in many diabolical ways, inescapable. ~ John Zande

I mean, how sad is it that I needed a freaking Facebook profile to tell me my boyfriend was no longer my boyfriend? As if Facebook is the official record keeper of relationships and you have to confirm all breakups and hookups with this sacred online registrar before you can consider them certified and approved. ~ Jessica Brody

The average parent may, for example, plant an artist or fertilize a ballet dancer and end up with a certified public accountant. We cannot train children along chicken wire to make them grow in the right direction. Tying them to stakes is frowned upon, even in Massachusetts. ~ Ellen Goodman

Becoming a mother has made me even more aware and more passionate about nutrition and wellness. So much so that I am now a certified health coach practitioner. ~ Miranda Kerr

Reed said he could maybe find out where it came from back at his office. Check the certified mail records. ~ David Baldacci

To have transactions made on your web site via credit card, you must be PCI compliant. Businesses make the mistake of thinking that because you passed the requirements and are PCI certified, you are immune to attacks. ~ Kevin Mitnick

COBWEBS. The spider as an artist Has never been employed Though his surpassing merit Is freely certified By every broom and Bridget Throughout a Christian land. Neglected son of genius, I take thee by the hand. ~ Emily Dickinson

The book was sloppily written in many parts (the words came too quickly and too easily) and there was hardly a noun in any sentence that was not holding hands with the nearest and most commonly available adjective - scalding coffee and tremulous fear are the sorts of thing you will find throughout. Over-certified adjectives are the mark of most best-seller writing. ~ Norman Mailer

Yes, he was that good looking. Take-your-breath-away good looking. Want-to-strip-your-body-naked-and-let-him-devour-you-alive good looking. Certified-eye-candy good looking. ~ Gail McHugh

If the DHS insists, as bureaucracies are apt to do, that open-source must be certified via a sanctioned, formal process, it will interfere with the informal process of open-source itself. It seems to me the DHS is trying to turn an open-source development project into a Microsoft (or IBM or Oracle) software development project. And we know what that means: more, not fewer, errors
security and otherwise. ~ Mark Hall