Smart Aleck Quotes

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Quotes About Smart Aleck

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Basically, I have two speeds ... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice. ~ James Patterson
Smart Aleck quotes by James Patterson
If you ever get married again, don't tell your husband anything. Do you hear me?'

'Why?' said Mary Jane.

'Because I say so, that's why,' said Eloise. 'They wanna think you spent your whole life vomiting every time a boy came near you. I'm not kidding, either. Oh, you can tell them stuff. But never honestly. I mean never honestly. If you tell 'em you once knew a handsome boy, you gotta say in the same breath he was too handsome. And if you tell 'em you knew a witty boy, you gotta tell 'em he was kind of a smart aleck, though, or a wise guy. If you don't, they hit you over the head with the poor boy every time they get a chance.' Eloise paused to drink from her glass and to think. 'Oh,' she said, 'they'll listen very maturely and all that. They'll even look intelligent as hell. But don't let it fool you. Believe me. You'll go through hell if you ever give 'em any credit for intelligence. Take my word. ~ J.D. Salinger
Smart Aleck quotes by J.D. Salinger
I have an iron lung, and the dog keeps me from getting too close to magnets.
[...]
I have SARS. He's tallying the people I infect.
[...]
I'm nearsighted. He helps me read the road signs.
[...]
I'm a recovering alcoholic. The dog gets between me and a beer.
[...]
I have an irregular heartbeat and he's CPR certified.
[...]
Color-blind. He tells me when the traffic lights change.
[...]
He translates for my Spanish-speaking clients.
[...]
He's a chick magnet.
[...]
I'm a lawyer. He chases ambulances for me. ~ Jodi Picoult
Smart Aleck quotes by Jodi Picoult
These were people ... who built redwood decks on their mobile homes and have no idea that smart-aleck Yankees think that is somehow funny. People of the pines. My people. ~ Rick Bragg
Smart Aleck quotes by Rick Bragg
Nobody gets any fun out of baseball any more. I guess a kid's crazy not to be serious about it when he's drawing down $20,000 or $30,000 a year, and any smart-aleck gag you try may be your last. But what's life without a laugh? ~ Rabbit Maranville
Smart Aleck quotes by Rabbit Maranville
Hmph," said Sharon . "Did you know that the numbers three and seven are sacred to vampires? There are seven vampire sects."
"Seven sacred sects," I repeated. "Say that three times fast."
"How about I spank you instead?" asked Patrick in a benign tone that belied the flare of irritation in his gaze.
"Only if you tie me to a bed and use a paddle."
His silver eyes went molten. Uh-oh. Me and my big smart-aleck mouth.
"I ... uh, sorry. I didn't mean that. I saw Secretary a few too many times. I'm impressionable. ~ Michele Bardsley
Smart Aleck quotes by Michele Bardsley
Liberals are some of the most arrogant, condescending smart alecks, but they're just pure ignorant, and they fit the bill of people who have no love and no respect for the founding of this country. ~ Rush Limbaugh
Smart Aleck quotes by Rush Limbaugh
I blame Jeb for letting you be such a
smart aleck."
I stared at her. "I blame you for altering
my DNA! I mean, I have wings,
lady! What were you thinking? ~ James Patterson
Smart Aleck quotes by James Patterson
Don't be a smart aleck," Hungry said.
"But it cheers me up," I said. ~ Lemony Snicket
Smart Aleck quotes by Lemony Snicket
When I seemed to be irritable or sad, my father would quote the learned Dr. Knight, and then say, 'Just go to sleep.' Like all smart aleck kids, I thought the advice was silly. But as I've grown older, I've realized just how smart Knight was. ~ Ben Stein
Smart Aleck quotes by Ben Stein
I had authority issues. In my defense, my math teacher had it coming. She'd made me write one hundred on the black board, so I wrote one, zero, zero in words since one hundred consisted of those numbers. Because she hadn't been specific in her instructions,she'd berated me for being a smart aleck. The whole class had laughed at me. The next morning, they had to cut her out of her chair. ~ Kate Evangelista
Smart Aleck quotes by Kate Evangelista
I've never progressed very far from my days as a smart aleck in middle school. ~ Carl Hiaasen
Smart Aleck quotes by Carl Hiaasen
Phoebe stared up at Mr. Ravenel with narrowed eyes. He was standing too close to her, his head and shoulders blocking the sunlight. "You should know that looming over me like that doesn't intimidate me," she said curtly. "I grew up with two very large brothers."
He relaxed his posture instantly, hooking his thumbs in his trouser pockets. "I'm not trying to intimidate you. I'm taller. I can't help that."
Hogwash, Phoebe thought. He knew quite well he'd been standing over her. But she was secretly amused by the sight of him trying so hard not to appear overbearing. "Don't think I couldn't cut you down to size," she warned.
He gave her an innocent glance. "Just as long as you do it by hand."
The smart-aleck remark surprised a laugh from her. Insolent rascal.
West Ravenel smiled slightly, his gaze holding hers, and for a moment her throat tinged sweetly at the back, as if she'd just swallowed a spoonful of cool honey. ~ Lisa Kleypas
Smart Aleck quotes by Lisa Kleypas
There is such thing as a 'smart bomb' - bombs are smart these days, you know. ~ Adolfo Perez Esquivel
Smart Aleck quotes by Adolfo Perez Esquivel
Dear lady, ... dear gentleman, reader, [it's] not right ... to put down this writer on his writing ... And I'll tell you why, too: it hurts, that's why.... People try to understand why writers commit suicide by jumping off boats or by alcoholism or by being heroic continuously or by rope or gun or drug or knife or water, and ... I can tell you straight out, ... it is reading slurring remarks about their writing that drives writers to the grave. Dirty remarks passed by ... dirty but damned nicely educated and very highly-paid ladies and gentlemen have the effect of killing writers. Yes, that's right. Dirty words ... in slick paper magazines read by smart people do assassinate writers. ... And boy let me tell you I am all for it, even when by some ... misunderstanding the dirty words are directed to me rather than to the party really deserving them. Accidents happen, dear clever reviewer or critic, and let it not be said that William Saroyan is one not to see a situation from the point of view of the other party, ... and I shall be the first to defend your right to be critical and even sarcastic, knowing full well that it is not about me and my writing, although my name is by mistake taken in vain by you. ... But go on, go on, do your good clever writing, every one of you, I am home, your are home, and we are each of us not yet on Variety's Necrology list, so if we can't take it, who can? ~ William Saroyan
Smart Aleck quotes by William Saroyan
I don't know what I did to deserve someone as smart and beautiful as you."

"You were you. And maybe that was enough. ~ Michael Haley
Smart Aleck quotes by Michael Haley
Language allows us to talk about the past and plan the future. We can teach children about things that are not present. And above all, we can bring people with different backgrounds and different knowledge together to discuss our problems. This actually gives me hope. I still think we are smart enough to not destroy planet Earth, our only home. ~ Jane Goodall
Smart Aleck quotes by Jane Goodall
The caveman in me was pretty proud of myself as I did the metaphorical Tarzan beat-on-the-ole-chest routine. Good thing I was smart enough to keep my trap shut about it. ~ Raine Miller
Smart Aleck quotes by Raine Miller
(Thomas J. Watson Sr. of IBM followed the same rule: "I'm no genius," he said. "I'm smart in spots - but I stay around those spots.") ~ Warren Buffett
Smart Aleck quotes by Warren Buffett
It's very hard for a man to ask questions about sex. The smart ones do. ~ Betty Dodson
Smart Aleck quotes by Betty Dodson
The problem with being happy in the moment is, moments never last. Things change whether you want them to or not, which makes it only smart to keep looking ahead. That's how people avoid getting hit by cars. ~ Laura Peyton Roberts
Smart Aleck quotes by Laura Peyton Roberts
Sharing is the first stage to the evolution of the intellectual. ~ Aswin Devarajan
Smart Aleck quotes by Aswin Devarajan
He thought of smart as a circle. Go too far towards smart, and you find yourself back at dumb. ~ Thomas Cobb
Smart Aleck quotes by Thomas Cobb
I like you a lot. Because you're funny and smart and because you seem to like me. I know that's not a good reason, but I can't help it; if a girl likes me I tend to like her back [ ... ] I like you for all this stuff but I also kind of like you for the cuts on your face - ~ Ned Vizzini
Smart Aleck quotes by Ned Vizzini
For me, two of my favourite science fiction films are Blade Runner, which is fantastic, and Terry Gilliam's Twelve Monkeys. Both of those were smart science fiction films hitting more of a medium budget, and I desperately hope there is an audience for that kind of film because I would love that to be my next film, on that kind of scale. ~ Duncan Jones
Smart Aleck quotes by Duncan Jones
I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood? ~ Fran Lebowitz
Smart Aleck quotes by Fran Lebowitz
White Mike was a thinker, his teachers said. This is what he was thinking as he watched his mother's coffin being lowered into the ground.

You will not be remembered if you die now. You will be buried and mourned by a few, and what more can you ask for. But you feel so tremendously alone, because you fear that your blood is not strong or good and your friends are few and embattled too. But so what. That is the answer. So what so what so what so what so what so what so what. The world will spiral out from underneath you, and you will find nothing to hold on to because you are either too smart or too dumb to find God, and because what the fuck will Camus ever do for you? Just ideas. You are not an artist, you will not leave something behind. Maybe you are angry only because the way out is through love and you are horny and lonely. And she's dead, of course. Maybe this is the way it is for everybody, only you are weaker, or less lucky, or have seen something they all have not. You have seen that before you lies a great stretch of road, and it is windswept or blasted by the hot sun or covered in snow, or it is dirt or concrete or shrouded in darkness or bright and clear so you have to squint, but no matter what, it is utterly empty.

That was what White Mike was thinking. ~ Nick McDonell
Smart Aleck quotes by Nick McDonell
A nice-looking boy pays attention, says the right things, looks at you just a certain way. You're not smart anymore. ~ J.D. Robb
Smart Aleck quotes by J.D. Robb
Cherry Money Baby is fabulous in every sense of the word! It's earthy and smart and moving, laugh-out-loud funny, surprising, inventive, suspenseful, and - Oh, Hell - just gorgeously written! ~ Tim Wynne-Jones
Smart Aleck quotes by Tim Wynne-Jones
But truly, it was a practical decision, a smart business move. ~ Gillian Flynn
Smart Aleck quotes by Gillian Flynn
Smart drafting is a wonderful thing. A smart free-agent signing is a wonderful thing. Smart trades are a wonderful thing, and that's a function of management. ~ David Stern
Smart Aleck quotes by David Stern
I've always wanted to be an expert on tadpoles; I've always fancied being a tadpole expert. It's a wonderful life if you become an experty tadpoleous, as they are known in the trade. You get invited out to all the smart parties and social gatherings. When smart people are making out their lists for the dinner parties, they say, 'Now, who can we have to make up the ten? A tadpole expert would be very nice. He could sit next to Lady Sonia. ~ Peter Cook
Smart Aleck quotes by Peter Cook
The whole foundation of Christianity is based on the idea that intellectualism is the work of the Devil. Remember the apple on the tree? Okay, it was the Tree of Knowledge. You eat this apple, you're going to be as smart as God. We can't have that. ~ Frank Zappa
Smart Aleck quotes by Frank Zappa
Sometimes it was hard for me to connect the boy I knew - the skinny smart kid who collected lead soldiers and pursued Boy Scout merit badges - with the phenomenally successful man he'd become. But sooner or later, when we were together, some remark would inevitably trigger childhood memories and then we'd be off, zipping down a path that existed now only for the two of us. ~ Alice Steinbach
Smart Aleck quotes by Alice Steinbach
Because Carter's not your only fan." When I looked back up, I saw Roman's green eyes were deadly serious. "You're a remarkable woman, just by your own nature. Smart. Funny. Compassionate. But what's really great is that you're so easy to underestimate. I did when we first met, you know. And Hell is now. No matter what their reaction to your appeal is, I guarantee most of them doubt you have a chance. You're going to prove them wrong. You're going to break the unbreakable. And I'll be there helping you, as much as I can. ~ Richelle Mead
Smart Aleck quotes by Richelle Mead
What do you think we should do about Sampson?" I asked.
"I would have to say ... stop him," Sam said.
"How?" I asked her.
"Someone who is as powerful and as smart and crazy as he is should do it."
"Okay, but who?"
"Well ... you should."
"So you think I'm crazy?" I asked her. ~ Jennifer Priester
Smart Aleck quotes by Jennifer Priester
Don't make excuses; rather, find support and resources to make good things happen for yourself, your family, your businesses, your community, and the world you live in. ~ Anna Stevens
Smart Aleck quotes by Anna Stevens
What is with waiters who don't write anything down and memorize your order instead? Are you trying to impress me or something? If you were that smart you wouldn't be a goddamn waiter in the first place. ~ Aaron Karo
Smart Aleck quotes by Aaron Karo
I expect the world from you, as I should, because you're amazing and talented and funny and sweet. You're sexy as hell and clever and smart and capable of so many things. So yeah. I expect a hell of a lot from you. And I also expect that you can be successful in managing your OCD. I'm proud of you, Bailey. ~ S. Walden
Smart Aleck quotes by S. Walden
Everyone knew what the night would bring lots of D and A plenty of T and A ~ Saira Viola
Smart Aleck quotes by Saira Viola
I see it routinely when I get asked to speak at conferences. I'm supposed to come cheap because, after all, I'm just a farmer. If you're smart and capable, you become a doctor, engineer, lawyer, computer technician --- anything white collar. For goodness' sake, don't wear a blue collar. That makes your mother and me a failure and our friends will wonder about our family. ~ Joel Salatin
Smart Aleck quotes by Joel Salatin
He knew she wasn't the simple servant she pretended to be. She was too clever, too smart. She could keep pace with him - something Lucien didn't have the stamina for. ~ K.M. Shea
Smart Aleck quotes by K.M. Shea
Based loosely on NASA monkey research, Soviet paranormal studies, chaos theory and the lost experimental writings of Thorstein Veblen, the Faking Smart! Six-Week Program is one of the most advanced six-week programs of its kind. ~ Martin Fossum
Smart Aleck quotes by Martin Fossum
Wow. I didn't think it was possible for him to look any more intoxicating than he already did. But a leather clad Ren standing next to the gorgeous racing motorcycle holding his helmet made my brain go numb. I had kind of a this-is-your-brain-on-drugs moment, only mine was more like a this-is-your-brain-on-seeing-Ren-in-tight-leather moment. If they'd been smart, the Ducati Company should have used him in a commercial and given him the bike for free. ~ Colleen Houck
Smart Aleck quotes by Colleen Houck
When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite. ~ Tim Allen
Smart Aleck quotes by Tim Allen
It's amazing how smart the body is. Though maybe we could do without loving. I think it's overrated, and I think it's too hard. You should only love your children; that is necessary, because otherwise you might kill them. But to love a man? It's overrated, and it's too hard and I will never, ever do it again. ~ Elizabeth Berg
Smart Aleck quotes by Elizabeth Berg
Why you say that I have talent??
About magic?? Wow, wow it isn't what you think, it's easy magic... The idea is to make you focus on what I want and to do something else without to realise it.
Clever?
Smart?
Wow, wow, I'm not I have more and more to study but as far as now I'm somewhere in the middle I have chances I have the ability so I can say I'm working to deserve that rank! ~ Deyth Banger
Smart Aleck quotes by Deyth Banger
Most famous artists are created by their work and the idea of them as a character, and if they're smart and ambitious, they reinforce that character because they want to win. They want their views to prevail. ~ Dave Hickey
Smart Aleck quotes by Dave Hickey
If you're lucky, the friends you make when you're sixteen stay with you for the rest of your life. If you're smart, you know when it's time to let them go. ~ Megan Hart
Smart Aleck quotes by Megan Hart
GIS is being influenced by and integrating with all kinds of new innovations such as faster computing, big data, the cloud, smart devices, and distributed processing. ~ Jack Dangermond
Smart Aleck quotes by Jack Dangermond
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