Shefali Tsabary Quotes

Life is to be experienced, not fought against, run from, or engaged halfheartedly. Though we may wish to make changes in the future, to be conscious is to be with an experience as it's unfolding, rather than thinking about how we would like to change it. Taking charge of our life so that we alter the quality of our experiences in the future comes after an experience.

[I'm a conscious parent when I believe] a parent's presence in their child's life is of paramount value and provides the foundation for their sense of worth.

I think the main benefit is that much of the traditional parenting that's being carried out today is so fear based and while the parent thinks they're in control they're really being ruled by fear. Everything is connected to fear.

The Children's Justice Campaign reminds us of our sacred obligation as adults to raise ourselves into consciousness so that our children may thrive.

When you parent, it's crucial you realize you aren't raising a mini-me, but a spirit throbbing with its own signature. For this reason, it's important to separate who you are from who each of your children is. Children aren't ours to possess or own in any way. When we know this in the depths of our soul, we tailor our raising of them to their needs, rather than molding them to fit our needs.

Parents who engage in this kind of [conscious] parenting understand the power of being present being mindful to take the time to build connection understanding that this foundation is the bedrock of all later self-worth, self-esteem and self-actualization.

Conscious parenting is a new paradign shift in the way we look at our roles as parents. It's turning the spot light away from fixing the child and managing the child, obsession with all things that have to do with the child and the child centric approach and really focusing on the evolution of the parent. It about fully understanding that unless the parent has raised themselves to a certain level of emotional integration and maturity, they will really not be able to do true service to the child's spirit.

The traditional paradigm of parenting has been very hierarchical, the parent knows best and very top down. Conscious parenting topples [this paradigm] on its head and creates this mutuality, this circularity where both parent and child serve each other and where in fact, perhaps, the child could be even more of a guru for the parent ... teaching the parent how the parent needs to grow, teaching the parent how to enter the present moment like only children know how to do.

[I'm a conscious parent] when I stay away from fear-based control tactics - punishment, yelling and threats and I'm seeking more enlightened ways to create boundries with my child.

So many parents are puzzled when their children seclude themselves in their room and refuse to leave their sanctuary. They wonder, "Why don't my children want to talk to me when I'm so open and willing to discuss things?" The reason our children turn away from us is that they sense that our desire to talk is all about us - our need to manage our anxiety and exert control.

We cannot control our children. We can only create the conditions for them to rise. What this means is that we need to stop expending our energy on trying to control who they are and how they turn out in the future. The real challenge is to keep our eyes on the parameters that are truly under our control - ourselves, and the way the home functions.

Children are way more articulate, way more connected to their rights, and they want to be fully participating, empowered members of society but we have to release and we have to let go. We have to allow children to enter their self-governance and their state of empowered presence.

When we prioritize and focus and that becomes the anchor the relationship becomes the anchor and it trumphs everything else than it's at once freeing and anxiety relieving because the connection itself feeds empowerment and self-worth and self-esteem so it takes away the anxiety of raising a child.

Now when you transfer into the conscious parenting paradigm, you have to release those pressures and those fears ... you actually think into the very ordinary but profound moment to moment connection to your children and you do away with those extraneous attachments to achievement or beauty or wealth or success. And while those things have their place, they don't overwhelm or override the life of the parent and child. Your life is actually suddenly liberated.

There is no universal template that can be applied to everybody. So everyone kind of enter the process in their own way, on their own time.

Life doesn't happen to us, but happens with us.

Freedom to really prioritize and really zone into what really matters which is the parent-child connection.

The principal task is to put spiritual foundations under both our child's life and our own. This triggers a shift in the elemental way in which we relate to our children, with the result that their behavior automatically falls in line as they become aware of, and true to, who they really are. Behavioral changes are an outgrowth of a shift in the relationship.

The child is free to live out their own destiny.

Disconnection doesn't occur when there's dissent, but when there's intolerance of each other's differences.

I think we're seeing that the way we've done parenting cannot be sustainable in this generation, for sure.