S.M. Koz Famous Quotes
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The result was unreal. The most incredible feeling came over me. Weightlessness. Like the vise that engulfed me had evaporated. There was no more tightness. I could breathe freely. My head didn't hurt. My stomach didn't hurt. After a few moments, the only thing that hurt was the cut on my arm. I sat there and closed my eyes, reveling in the physical pain that was a hundred times easier to handle than what I had been dealing with.
How could a little nick control something I had no control over? It wasn't until he wiped it clean and applied a band-aid that the physical pain of the cut took hold, but I didn't even care. That was a minimal price to pay in order to lessen the internal pain.
That night I did it. I used a utility knife from our garage. It was amazing. For that brief moment, all the tension, anxiety, stress I put on myself disappeared. It went up in a cloud of smoke and my head was finally clear after months of endless internal battles.
There was a brief moment of nothing, but when a ribbon of blood appeared, something I never expected happened. For the first time in five days, the constricting force around me lessened a bit. I took a deep breath. It wasn't as bad as usual. It was like the awful pain inside of me was seeping out through that tiny cut.
