Qiu Miaojin Quotes

And on it flows. I long to lie down quietly by the banks of a blue lake and die ... and when I'm dead for my body to be consumed by birds and beasts, leaving only the bone of my brow for Xu ... like Alexander, loyal to an everlasting love.

Human nature has its fatal weaknesses, but 'love' means embracing the whole of human nature, the bad within the good, the benign within the malicious, the beautiful within the tragic. 'Love' is the experience of this whole, its unfinished parts, including those of one's own in relation to those of the other.

My prototype of a woman was the type who would appear in hallucinations at the last moments of your freezing to death at the top of an icy mountain, a mythical beauty who blurred the line between dreams and reality. For four years, that's what I believed. And I wasted all of my university days–during which I had the most courage and honesty I would ever have towards life–because of it.

I knew that I loved you so much that it was like I was practically crying out: Here is the location of the soul I have cared for, and here is the source of all beauty and love, but how heavy, how painful, how heavy, how painful.

I don't know when you'll make the final, lethal cut, but before that happens I will cling to you and sing with all my heart.

Suicide. This is the exact opposite of last time, for this time I'm experiencing a kind of pleasure in life, in being alive, a pleasure in living that I've never experienced before, and I'm hopeful and confident that I can become someone with dignity. I know now why I couldn't change certain characteristics and certain things about myself, but it's not a problem anymore. Certain pathways I failed to open in the past have now opened. My whole self is radiating light. I see with clarity. I understand the cause and effect of the last year. What I had imagined I've now attained. It's as if I can see my life right in front of my eyes, and all I have to do is reach out and draw it in... Now I don't feel the acute pain I felt before; I feel enlightened, at peace. It's as if I've instantly found the secret of "Suffering", how to bear it and how to endure it... Yes, this time I've decided to kill myself not because I can't live with suffering and not because I don't enjoy being alive. I love life passionately, and my wish to die is a wish to live...

Yes, I've chosen suicide. The endpoint of this process of "Forgiveness". Not to punish anyone or to protest a wrong. I've chosen suicide with a clarity I've never possessed before, with a rational resolve and sense of calm, in order to pursue the ultimate meaning of my life, act on my belief about the beauty between two people... I take complete responsibility for my life, and even if my physical body disappears upon death, I do

My soul is so lonely, but I'm unwilling to describe that sort of loneliness for you, because I can't divulge the depth of my loneliness to anyone who'd cast away my soul, cast away my life, someone who'd cavalierly take me to the brink of death and who could, without a trace of emotion or sympathy for the pain and suffering I've experienced, cruelly exile me to a foreign country. I don't hate you as much as I did, but I am so desperately lonely.

The whole of March 18 was so poetically and emotionally satisfying that I went a little wild.

Life has suddenly become overcrowded. Too many people I can care for are swarming in and filling up my chest. Too many things I want to do are rushing headlong into my new life for reasons unknown to me. All of a sudden my new life is like a field overgrown with strange flowers and exotic grasses or the shimmering, starry sky of my unbridled imagination...

I often ask myself: Do I have the courage to let "tragedy" happen again? Qing Jin once said that life is full of rupture and that it is what it is. But does it really have to be this way? Everyone I've ever loved has treated me poorly. And when I was younger I treated others poorly too. Why? Why do people have to act so mean and stupid toward the ones they love? Can't we be a little more introspective and reach a level of self-awareness to stop hurting the ones we love? It must be possible. Mutual meanness and stupidity cause human tragedy and rupture to keep recurring.

Passion. It's not a male body's, & it's not a female body's It's not the penetration or reception of sex organs, & it's not how powerful a body is or the amount of its sexual secretions. It's not how a person expresses their strengths or weaknesses to other people. Passion is a quality, a quality that is an energy resource that someone can tap into within themselves. The type of passion I've been searching for in people is similar to my own. It's not necessarily in the body of a woman.

With sincerity, courage, & honesty, one can face death, extreme physical pain, & even extreme psychological pain. One can resist persecution from individuals, society, or government. To live in preparation of adversity & finding ways to preserve your core values --this is what it means to learn "how to live.

We have nothing to fear but insincerity.

It's easy for the body to be open to desiring different people because desire wells up & demands to be satisfied. It's easy to categorize corporeal desire as sexuality, but if it has no means of merging with spiritual desire, then a rupture will occur between sprit & flesh. For ultimately passion & sex aren't only expressed physically but through a true union between two spirits. When the spirit can truly love & find contentment, both the body & the other key aspects of life will fall naturally into place, working in unison, merging.

Love is not merely need alone, & what is more important is loving you, & making my true nature comprehensible to you.

Only a spirit of artistic sincerity can console the souls of humankind.