Odd Borretzen Famous Quotes
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The best way to tell whether the Norwegian is a Norwegian is to say:
"Are you Swedish?"
Regardless whether you say this in English, French, Italian, Japanese, Urdu or Swahili, he will answer:
"Swedish? Me? I'm a Norwegian!"
Then you will be able to tell.
Previously, until a few years ago, it was customary for the Norwegian to be born with skis on his feet. But one of the improvements that has been made is that this is no longer the case*. Modern research has revealed, in fact, that this could be very uncomfortable and, to some extent, dangerous to the mother.
*It still happens that the birth takes place with skis on the feet, but now it is most often the mother who has the skis on during the birth.
He didn't shout, "I love you!" for example, because self-conscious people don't shout that sort of thing. At that time, however, the Norwegian had other opportunities of expressing himself. He could express irritation or anger by going outside and chopping down a tree, or throwing big stones in the water.*
*As is known, the Norwegian coast is surrounded by thousands of larger and smaller stones (The Skerries). This is very likely a sign that there was considerable irritation during the Norwegian Stone Age.
If, in our day, you should see a polar bear in a Norwegian street, especially in the dead of night, you should tentatively say to the animal: "Good evening?" If the polar bear answers, "Shutyourbigmouth!" or something that sounds like this, in all likelihood, this is not a polar bear but a Norwegian on his way home from a party.
The Norwegian is a sober person. His relationship to God is somewhat like his relationship to the King. He believes that God (and the King) is quite all right - on the condition that He behaves like a proper Norwegian and doesn't believe he is anything special. The Norwegian doesn't say this outright, but he believes that God (and the King), in spite of everything, is no more than human.
The Norwegian wouldn't be surprised if, one day, he should see God (or the King) ahead of him in a bus queue, for ex., or on Karl Johansgate in Oslo.
