Moms Mabley Quotes

LOVE is like Playing Checkers. You have to know which Man to MOVE.

Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody.

Black women, white women- all of them. I'm colorblind. I don't know the difference. I only know you're a human being and you're my children.

[On turning down an invitation to appear for four minutes on the Ed Sullivan Show:] Honey, it takes Moms four minutes just to get on the stage.

It's no disgrace to be old. But damn if it isn't inconvenient.

You know Moms has been accused of liking young men, and I'm guilty.

A woman is a woman until the day she dies, but a man's man only as long as he can

Honey, that Totie Fields is one well-fed white woman. When that gal sits around the house, she sits around the house!

The good old days. I was there. Where was they?

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor's office and make people sick.

Ain't nothin' an ol' man can do but bring me a message from a young one.

[On old age:] You wake up one morning and you got it.

The teenagers aren't all bad. I love 'em if nobody else does. There ain't nothing wrong with young people. Jus' quit lyin' to 'em.