Madisen Kuhn Quotes

I swear you always knew me better than I knew myself. You saw me in ways I didn't know how to see myself yet. I was happy listening to you snore while I lay awake. I was happy hearing you talk about things that mattered to you, and realizing that they mattered to me too.

we are so lucky to love, to know the light and dark parts of each other's souls, to get to feel anything at all. none of it is in vain.

it's easy to look back and romanticize the bits of time when you were first getting to know someone. both of you were looking at each other the same way you have to look at the sun when it's in the middle of the sky; squinting because it's so bright.

but when i find a place to put my love, i will fucking die for you. i will hand over all my rations until you are fat and happy, and i am shriveled and happy. i will follow you across the country and i will take care of your dog and i will do your laundry. i will love you even when you yell at me. i will try to kiss you when you turn away. i will write poems and you won't read them. i will pretend that this is enough. this is enough. this is enough. this is enough. this is enough. this is-

i hold on to
the way the air feels in october
it brings out the best in me

I realized that hopeful feeling was just that: a feeling. and feelings keep you up at night, and they ake you feel sick when you're perfectly healthy, and they life. I didn't want to convince myself of a false truth just to feel okay.

I'm in a constant battle with reality and pretend
with who I am, who I want to be,
and who I wish I could be
with picking up the pieces, painting portraits of something strong, something whole,
something to be proud of
and shattering crystal vases on wooden floors
while smiling, without blinking
with seeing just how far I can run away from myself
without forgetting myself

how lovely it is,
to fall asleep
knowing that you lived today

But you were never really there, and I lie here motionless caressing the memories of a ghost

i love good cries,
loud sobs that soak your pillow
that kind that come at the end
of a perfect book

you're gasping for air
as droplets of salt water
trickle down your cheeks
into the corners of your mouth
as your chest rises and falls
and your vision is blurred
by the tears

but your mind is so clear
and your every thought
in that moment
feels so meaningful
and important and right

it feels okay to just
let it all out
it makes you feel like
you are free