Jon Konrath Famous Quotes
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Fuck, can you give me a ride to Office Depot when I'm done with these dildos?
He set down his chili dog, and after a pondering moment of silence, he replied with words of wisdom I'd never forget: "Fuck women. Fuck school. Fuck money. Go write some books, get a good agent, lift weights, get tattoos, and never do a film with Keanu Reeves.
When you live in extreme pain, sometimes you need even more pain to feel alive.
The white dress, made of billowy fabric like a cargo parachute, made her look like the female Boss Hogg trying out for a part in a community theater presentation of Brigadoon.
Don't do lunchmeat, kids. Bologna. Not even once.
For some reason, Greg Ginn from Black Flag is recording an Access: Hollywood episode in my bathroom, doing an interview with one of those interchangeable video host babes. He's talking about how an important part of making it as a punk rock musician is to buy a good condo at a low interest rate, and then list it on Airbnb when you're on tour. While he talks, he eats a loaf of garlic bread that has currywurst on it, which is a trending meme that week.
I go to look up the elevation of the Golden Gate bridge on Wikipedia, and an hour later I'm watching four guys in lucha libre masks fuck a dolphin.
Don't put salt water on a cut on your dick.
