Bizarro Quotes

Animal rights is a serious subject, but I do my best to find humor where I can, and I have some great help: there are almost two hundred cartoons included in the book, including dozens from the brilliant Bizarro strip. ~ Karen Dawn

A flat screen television lowered into view. It showed an animated Islamic documentary that focused mostly on the importance of wearing the proper attire. The final prophet was quoted often, yet absent from the feature.
"If this Mohammed guy is so great, why wouldn't they put him in the cartoon?" Kira wondered. ~ Magnus Wilton

The day Mother Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? killed Father The Outlaw Josey Wales, they were arguing again about the Pre-Reddening game of Major League Baseball. ~ Nick DiChario

The girl slid into the back seat of the town car, tugging at the hem of her dress like she was afraid she might leave a stain on the upholstery. ~ John McNee

She whipped her tentacles away from his fingers decapitating the dead lobster-dog and its body fell from the ceiling fan. ~ Athena Villaverde

The only thing I could figure was most people were so fucking self-righteous they liked to destroy others' wills so they felt like their own petty lives had some sense of purpose. ~ Andersen Prunty

Don't do lunchmeat, kids. Bologna. Not even once. ~ Jon Konrath

Yeah, like Bizarro Superman, Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards Bizarro world. Up is down, down is up, he says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

Acting was definitely half of what I loved about storytelling and about theater. So, when I get a chance to do a cameo in a show or do a movie, it's a lot of fun and it's always great stepping outside of yourself and either playing a bizarro version of yourself or playing a character. ~ Josh Groban

Some people just seemed born to fail. ~ Andersen Prunty

There are many dark corners in the many universes. Don't continue on if you are afraid to explore the dark, brutal and absurd ~ David Agranoff

Tell me I can marry Anne Frank's skeleton. ~ Cameron Pierce

For the first time, I smelled her. I can't describe the smell. Flowery, yet somehow musty, like a beautiful woman with the soul of an old book. ~ Caris O'Malley

Brahman and I are buddies. ~ Stephen Beam

If I had to sum up my philosophy of fuckness in a few words so I could cram it on a bumper sticker or t-shirt, those were the words I would have chosen: "Fuck it. ~ Andersen Prunty

I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go What did I say?! I'll watch one of my stand-up specials a year later and go Eww, that was mean. ~ Chris Rock